I wrote some of these like three years ago and it’s way better than the delusional Buzzfeed version.
Arthur gets with Francine and Buster gets with Muffy. Arthur and Buster own their own advertising company. Francine produces sports documentaries and Muffy is a real estate agent. They live next door to each other in Elwood City and their families live happily ever after.
DW became a world renowned actor, and eventually became president. She was the best fucking president that ever ran the country.
Binky moved to California after the love of his life died in a car crash when he was 18. He got a job teaching high school English and Psychology. He was widely known as everyone’s favorite teacher.
The Brain got a job as a super-secret government spy who ended up betraying his own unit. He got shot by his second in command, his son Albert.
George became a successful ventriloquist, but fame soon caught up with him after he got his own show on Comedy Central and he died of a drug overdose.
Jenna rode an ATV into her house and set the Christmas tree on fire and she died.
Mr. Ratburn got married to cake. Together they wrote steamy romance novels about their sexual life and called it “Fifty Layers of Frosting”. I grossed myself out writing that one.
Prunella kept doing that star-gazing/devil worship shit and saw visions of Lucifer, which drove her insane, and led her to kill her own family.
Fern and Molly got married and moved to New York. Fern was a successful author and Molly played guitar in a punk cover group - Moo First and The Gimmie Gimmies.
Mr. Haney turned out to be the Zodiac Killer.
Sue Ellen sold George the drugs that killed him. She lived out the rest of her days somewhere in Florida.
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