like i AM glad to see this get discussed anywhere at all its just so draining to see people in a youtube comment make a pretty tame point about how fixating on "all men hate women men ain't shit having a boyfriend is embarassing lol" didn't actually do anything helpful for them and they are glad to have snapped out of that mindset, only to have to edit it to clarify that OBVIOUSLY they weren't making this point about men's feelings they don't care about men's feelings they are solely talking about how this hurts women & femmes!
just like. you dont need to do that actually. like it IS bad for women and its good to acknowledge that but you actually don't need to treat the possibility of caring about a man or men as a group as feminist kryptonite. its actually reflective of the deeper problem which is tied to oppositional sexism & how that is used as a tool (alongside many other tools) to prevent inter-gender solidarity and revolution.
women are not getting liberated without men & vice-versa & its just annoying how even when people are talking about how heterofatalism isn't good feminism, they still have to make sure to clarify to everyone that they don't care about men, they would never imply that men's feelings matter at all, which. i just think is not actually healthy for feminism. not because every individual needs to personally feel xyz about men.
its the implicit gender segregration. men and women are two entirely different groups, and i am going to convince you skeptics that this idea is feminist by engaging in oppositional sexism and showing that i can be anti-"men ain't shit" but in a way which never implies that there is any connective human tissue between men and women. "this is solely about how this hurts women & femmes" which of course is a group entirely distinct from men & mascs (an idea that should be on its face inane, because femmes should logically include femmes of all genders including men, right? otherwise, what the fuck is the goddamn term for????????)
if i had my way everyone would have to read the essay Collective Turn Off by Sophie Lewis before engaging in conversations around this. cause she has the guts and conviction in her feminist understanding to use the term misandry and get into the muck of women's feelings about men and call out how misandry always ends up hurting trans people, all trans people. that is what makes this conversation productive.
same with bell hooks' The Will to Change tbh. what both of these women do is never to deny the real pain and suffering and anger and exhaustion of women; instead, they respect themselves and other women as feminist enough to invite them to critically reflect on those feelings and to reflect on the world they must living and the actions that need to be taken to bring that world to life. i feel that a large amount of the damage done by pop feminism comes from this emphasis on emotional validation over actual productive consciousness-raising, replacing the goal of true social revolution with the goal of having our feelings that being oppressed hurts be validated over and over and over again. i feel like i always use this analogy but its really like an animal overgrooming out of stress; we just keep doing the same thing in the vain hope it will relieve us of the cosmic horror and stress of patriarchy, and it doesn't, and yet we keep relying on these basic repetitive ways of self-soothing because no other option feels real.
areudirty
titsay
2087
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
theartofmadeline
amandla
gracieabrams
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
