Viktória

Vancouver. Long hair. Olive melanin in my skin. Toasted eyes and pleasant disposition.

[ohladygodiva]

Do you ever feel like you want to check in on a person but feel like it's just not your place? That's how I feel. I hope your life is all happiness.

I don't know what to say besides thank you.

[ohladygodiva]

How are you? xo

Sitting in comfortable silence. Giving myself my own respective space to grow.

[ohladygodiva]

Expectations

I know for a fact that I am overly self-critical, I always have been. If I did something well, I’d be upset I didn’t do it really well. If I did something really well, I’d be upset I didn’t do it to perfection. When it comes to the claim that I expect too much of others, I come to an impasse. I do not think that I expect much at all, in fact I think I am far more likely to be too lenient. All I hope for from others are pure intentions. If you have pure, innocent motives, you will do all you can. Sure, you might do the wrong thing, but you did it for the right reason, which means it was just a mistake. Mistakes are things to be learned from, not judged for. Even if you disappoint me and don’t live to my expectations, I still love you and I won’t give up on you. In my whole life I have never given up on anyone completely. There is one person I nearly gave up on and two that I came to realize there is nothing at all I can do to help them, so I left it to someone else.

[ohladygodiva]

Straight faced, eyes forward, nothing around me is real persona.

[ohladygodiva]

Good morning, miss. How do you deal with unrequited love?

Good morning!First off, I remember that it's not me, it's them. It simply is what it is - them turning you down. It's absolutely narcissistic to live your life assuming that one day someone is going to reciprocate your love. As painful as it can be, just let it go.

[ohladygodiva]

Darling, I'm sorry to hear about what happened and I hope you are faring well. Although this question is poorly timed, may I ask how you deal with separation and starting over?

My intuition mapped out and processed the breakup long before it actually happened, and I’ve already cleared the emotions from my system. However, I’ve realized that although I may have solved it logic wise, denial is still a huge factor in my behavior. I go all day without thinking about it because it’s a fact of life now, but when it’s 11pm and I’m alone with my thoughts, I’m flooded with debilitating emotions. Grief after a breakup is such a complicated thing.

[ohladygodiva]

Change your habits, change your life

In 2017 I will begin categorizing people solely by their actions, regardless of history or intention. I am a writer and lover of words, but most people, including myself, don’t follow through with everything that they say. I’m working on holding myself accountable for that. I’m gonna wait until the new year though, because the holiday season brings so many forced social interactions. I can’t expect people to turn over a new leaf when they are too busy trying to force a smile through a festive crowd. So everyone has until January to dish out all their bullshit and iron out the details, because once New Years Eve rolls around and you’re still tripping, I will cut you loose.

[ohladygodiva]

Hello, lovely. Not to put pressure on you in any way but I'm curious what you hope to achieve or get done during this last quarter of the year. I see you as quite the reflective and self-aware person. It would be a delight to hear what you have in store.

I was just contemplating my life before I came across this question. I want to end this year being in a place where I feel whole rather than happy. I would like to be able to stand still while a range of emotions circle around me and be okay. Nothing else is more important to me.

[ohladygodiva]

You're a very interesting person and I wish you would blog more. Just thought I'd tell you that! :)

Thank you so much, that means a lot.

[ohladygodiva]

Miss, I hope your day has been lovely. I would like to ask about your view on a healthy coping mindset after a breakup. Do you maintain contact? Do you check up on your ex? Do you burn memories? Do you avoid places/food/things that remind you of your ex?

A healthy coping mindset is whatever works for you. All of my exes are blocked on any possible platform and memory. Some were mutual, others were not. It's unrealistic to say that it won't be painful for the first few months, but it will get better. Cutting off contact will save you from any further pain. If it's a breakup, then there were deal breakers present - don't settle! I wish there was a "this will make it better" answer, but it's hard for anyone and each person has to find their own way of getting through it. I wish you all the best!

[ohladygodiva]

Complacency is the biggest relationship killer. You will take your partner for granted without realizing it and it can turn your otherwise happy relationship sour. It usually happens slowly and most people don't even realize why they aren't happy with their partner until it's too late and the love is gone.

[ohladygodiva]

My biggest goal this past year besides making up for lost time career wise, was figuring out the people in my life. I learned that not everybody is my "everybody", and that some people are only there to kill time with. I learned the difference between my true supporters, the doubters, and those who enabled me to be stagnant. Yes, I’ve known these people for a very long time, but do they have a place in my adult life? Childs play gets really old when you’re trying to go about your business. I lost a lot of people, but I’ll see benefit in the long run.