The Journey To See Farther @ohlawdhelpmeh - Tumblr Blog

When I learn about trauma, I learned how when something is beyond your ability to cope as a child you disassociate from your body. I know I did this much as a child as I have so many memory gaps in my processing.

In knowing this, I’m somewhere in my journey of trying to simultaneously becoming aware of this; and yet attempting to learn how to healthily process and cope with these emotions of life that come my way - while also experiencing some of the worst inner pain of hurt, betrayal and heartbreak I have in my life.. as of yet.

There’s a million things I could say to you but I’m choosing to stay silent. I’m praying a day my stomach stops turning over these thoughts.

I can’t tell if this is healing or disassociating.

“hi I’m here to just destroy your life & then carry on like nothin’ happened byeeee”

Today is the day I decide to be silent on this matter. I’m going to start with two weeks. External silence and inward prayer on the matter for two weeks. And just see what comes.

thinkpozitiv

I wanted peace more than attention.

thinkpozitiv

They say I changed a lot,

I say a lot changed me.

danger

Enjoy the beauty of becoming.

funneeb

In order to make a relationship last, you really have to flow with a person as they change. Give them space. My friend always told me about his grandfather who was with his wife for 60 years before she passed. His grandfather said that through all that time, his wife changed so much it felt like he had been with 8 different people by the end. But he said the secret to making it last was that through all those changes, he never suffocated his wife with his own idea of who he expected her to be. Rather he loved, fully, every new woman she became.