Fuck Yeah, Zeke Strahm facts:
Facts, people, facts. I want a list of the best Zeke Strahm facts that you have. You know that Chuck Norris facts? Make them better than those, because Zeke Strahm is fucking boss!
The only reason The Rake hasn’t shown up before EverymanHYBRID was because he was afraid Zeke Strahm would get him. - Joker
The Rake has nightmares about waking up with Zeke Strahm at the foot of it’s bed. - Corey
Slenderman’s bedroom walls are covered in sketches of Zeke Strahm. - Corey
In Soviet Russia, Zeke Strahm stalks you. - Adam
They say that behind Zeke Strahm’s five-o’clock-shadow, is just another dead girlfriend. - Jeff
Powerthirst is made from the sweat of Zeke Strahm’s brow. - Josh
Only Zeke could survive a Mach 3 anything outside of a cockpit. - Jab (IIRC, or Kite…)
Zeke Strahm once had sex on the back of a truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. - Hosozukuri
Zeke Strahm once left his air-conditioner running when he went on vacation. The event is chronicled in the film The Day After Tomorrow. - Jeff
Zeke Strahm Shared a room with Jesus in college. Zeke Always got Top Bunk. - Jab
Zeke Strahm got coal for Christmas. He crushed that coal into diamonds. - Adam
Zeke Strahm didn’t set fire to the warehouse. It spontaneously combusted because it couldn’t handle his awesomeness. - Lucien
The reason Zeke spends so much time in downtrodden buildings is because they collapse under his power. - Jon
Zeke really did kill Slenderman with the shotgun at the door. Now, he’s just in a costume trying to keep this going. - Jon
There is no Zuul. Only Zeke Strahm. - Lucien
When Chuck Norris needs tips on how to be cool, he looks at Zeke Strahm’s blog. - Jon
The movie ‘Hard To Kill’s is loosely based on Zeke Strahm’s life. - Jon
Slenderman keeps a videocamera so he can know when Zeke Strahm is following him. - Jon
Zeke Strahm doesnt have lovers. Only targets to pass on his perfect DNA to. - Lucien
Slender Man once looked out his window to see Zeke Strahm looking in on him. - Jon
The reason that Chuthilu doesn’t exsit in the Slenderverse is because Zeke Strahm killed him. - Jon
Why have we not seen more of The Rake? Because it was only Zeke, trying to scare Slendy out of a job. - Lucien
Zeke Strahm doesn’t have an accent. Everybody else adapts their way of speaking to fit him. - Lucien
Candle Cove isn’t static because of a malevolent being, it just wasn’t allowed to show outside of Zeke Strahm’s house. - Ava
Y’Know why the Rake smells so bad? Ran into Zeke once. Shit himself so bad bad he can’t get the smell outta his white morphsuit. - Glenn
Zeke Strahm tried to divide by zero once. Slenderman was born the next day. - Jon
Chuck Norris keeps a rocket launcher in his truck. Zeke Strahm only needs a handgun. - Jon
Slender Man challenged Zeke Strahm to a staring contest one day. Zeke Strahm won. - Jon
Scientists theorize that Zeke Strahm is the product of all the manliness in the world compressed into human form. - Jon
The Slender Man went after Zeke Strahm as a child. He’s only now trying again because it took him this long to build up the courage. -Andy
Slender Man decided to come after Zeke Strahm one day. He shouldn’t have done that. - Zander
The Manhattan Project was just a cover up for the real project… Zeke Strahm.
-Jeebles
Zeke, Chuck, and Kamina all where chased by Slender Man, only Zeke survived.
-Jeebles
Slender Man only has tentacles because of what Zeke Strahm did to him earlier…
-Jeebles
All Slenderblogs and vlogs will end on the same day with an entry in which Zeke Strahm punches the Slender Man through a door. Even if you weren’t planning on ending your blog/vlog that way, in fact even if your blog’s been finished for two years, that’s how it’ll end. You don’t disagree with Zeke Strahm. - AlanAuch
When Zeke Strahm enters the house from House Of Leaves, it knows damn well to stay the same shape until he leaves again. - AlanAuch
Zeke Strahm punched Slenderman in the face- and broke his nose.-Quofomo
Slender Man used to be quite fat and rosy-cheeked, but he’s not been the same since his run-in with Zeke Strahm. - AlanAuch
BEN refuses to read Seeking Truth. He believes that, if he does, Zeke Strahm will possess him and every device he has infected. - Bard
Chuck Norris didn’t shave his beard, it wanted to end up on a real badass. Then Zeke shaved it off. - Zero
Every night, Slenderman checks his closet and under his bed to make sure Zeke Strahm isn’t hiding there. - Shayde
The Slender Man owes Zeke Strahm twenny dollaz. -Andy
When Zeke Strahm jumps, gravity pulls a muscle. -Paradox intent
Zeke Strahm once won a NASCAR race with a Hot Wheels toy car. -Paradox intent
When Harry Potter died in Deathly Hallows, Zeke Strahm’s soul seized control of his body and killed Voldemort. He then went after Slenderman. -Paradox intent
Zeke Strahm uses the t-rex gun like a handgun. - Verdett
The Slender Man owes Zeke Strahm twenny dollaz. -Andy
Zeke Strahm came before the chicken AND the egg. - Shayde
Slender Man isn’t hiding in the background of your photos because he’s stalking you. He’s hiding there so Zeke Strahm can’t see him. - Omega
Ever wonder why Agent Fisk never sent Jack Bauer to find Zeke Strahm? Because Fisk already sent him; he found Bauer’s body in the garage. -Scott
If Zeke has bad breath, the entire Amazon Rainforest withers! - animalluver202
~~ But Zeke never has bad breath. In fact, he just needs to blow into your general direction to make your breath minty-fresh for the rest of your life. - Broeckchen
~~~~ Well, yeah, that’s why the Amazon has yet to wither. - Omega
Zeke has Slender Man’s face. - Maduin
Zeke Strahm wiped the look off Slenderman’s face. - Didz
Zeke Strahm defecated Chuck Norris. - Zander
The reason that Slender Man’s arms blew apart when Ava turned on the electromagnetic gate is because there were still metal shards in his skin from the last time Zeke needed to sharpen his bread knife. - Dean
Zeke Strahm didn’t die in that video, he was taken to live with Biggie and Tupac. -Phenom
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