GLORIOUS

28, CA, USA just always trying my best ✌️

[maruti-bitamin]

forgotten things

[okayesheis]

You don't do it on purpose, but you make me shake. Gonna count the hours til you wake with your baby's breath, breathe, symphonies. Come on, sweet catastrophe.

Something Corporate “Hurricane”

[curlsandstems]

When you allow things to happen naturally, they flow with divine timing and unfold in a beautiful way. When you try to control and force things, they bring heavy lessons and deep frustration.

[ortut]

António Trindade - The Smoker #I, 2018

[pdlcomics]

Eat You

[okayesheis]

expectations

i never expected to be happy. that sounds so gloomy but i don’t mean it in a gloomy way. it’s just the truth. i never expected or even hoped to be happy. what i know and understand intimately is how to be happy in spite of circumstances, to keep going and keep hope alive even when the night looks darkest. intense shit like that. 

but i am in a new space now, physically and mentally. and i am trying to understand how to be happy. because everything is going well. i found someone i love, who loves me back. and, surprisingly, he’s not an asshole who likes to communicate through passive aggressive messages and inconsideration. he is kind and he wants to protect me and take care of me. he adores me and i adore him.

this past weekend, i didn’t have my normal 7am-3pm shift so i asked andrew if he could come earlier so we could check out a museum. hilariously, we got to the MOCA 20 minutes before they closed. they gave us passes for the next time, which was nice. it’s funny because that happened when we went to the fair together, there wasn’t much time for the fair left. at the end of the day i think that we really like to stay home and cuddle and watch movies and play video games-- but also going out and having experiences together is important because i felt like i learned a lot about andrew this weekend. it’s silly but i like to learn what things get under people’s skin or irritates them. i also like to see how people handle me when i’m cranky...andrew let me nap while he drove. it is my favorite thing to do, sleeping in a car, comfortable and safe.

but i don’t know how to handle this healthy and positive relationship! i keep expecting it to end, i keep expecting problems to come. i keep looking around for what’s going to go wrong. i spoke to ck and jeannette about this for a little bit last week. jeannette told me “hey...at some point obstacles will arise. they will. so don’t ruin the time that you have now by anticipating problems that haven’t come yet, because they will come”.

ck also warned me not to take my happiness for granted, and to be present in the moment. speculation and maybes are not important and are a waste of headspace. what are the actions i want to take, moving forward, and to what purpose?

i get intimidated by things, by change. but if i take steps one at a time, if i just plan on one action, and then move naturally from that one action to the next, then i think i can really move forward. instead of imagining

both of these made a lot of sense to me.

i have always had a deep fear of death, but if i spent my life worrying about what happens when i die..what a waste of a life don’t you think?

[astrologyqueenn]

January Lessons

Aries: be proud of how far you’ve come even if it feels like you’re getting nowhere. you have so many things to love yourself for.

Taurus: the way you care about people isn’t a weakness. you are so strong for remaining so soft throughout everything you’ve been through. don’t convince yourself that you are too soft or too caring or too much of anything.

Gemini: you need to jump at the opportunities that come to you. don’t be scared of spreading your wings, take things as they come.

Cancer: you are about to realize just how strong you are. don’t back down when things get rough, as soon as you push back you’ll realize your power.

Leo: learning to be independent is one of the greatest things you’ll learn, and soon it will come naturally to you. don’t be scared of doing things on your own, you’re more than capable.

Virgo: become disinterested in the people who don’t have your best interest. you need to watch out for yourself.

Libra: the people who care about you want to see you happy. when they come to your rescue in a bad situation, thank them. don’t isolate yourself.

Scorpio: you are becoming stronger everyday. even in the midst of heartbreak or pain, you keep rising. that’s what you need to remember.

Sagittarius: one thing can not be your entire world. don’t forget the people who care about you and the ones who stuck by your side before this came along.

Capricorn: be open. don’t close yourself off for a fear of getting hurt. you need to let love in as it pleases.

Aquarius: stay alert of your surroundings, but only because sometimes you miss the beauty around you. don’t get so lost in your mind, be present.

Pisces: let yourself breathe and relax as the new year comes. you are so used to feeling tense and anxious, just let things be for now.

[midnightmurdershow]

The Shape of Water (2017) Directed by Guillermo del Toro

[valtsv]

having executive dysfunction, ADHD and just a complete lack of any conception of the workings and passage of time means that i consistently roll a critical fail in punctuality

[valtsv]

me: okay so i have to be there at 9 so i’ll get up at 7, actually get up at 7:30, get off my phone and into the shower at 7:45, finish dressing at 8, stop reading my news feed and make breakfast at 8:15, clean my teeth and leave at 8:30 with 10 minutes extra time to spare if shit goes sideways. there’s no way i can possibly be late.

me, still in my pyjamas in bed, scrolling through twitter at 08:59: motherfucker i did it again

[valtsv]

my brain with every passing second drawing towards a rapidly approaching deadline:

my last, chronically overworked, almost entirely nonfunctional brain cell: read @ 11:59 PM ✔️✔️

[lilmamabeyellin]

self love ain’t just bubble baths & face masks it’s owning up to your shit , accepting your flaws , encouraging yourself to do better.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies. You have me.”

— Amie Kaufman

[eatmorebikes]

[aeneasx]

Duties for each sign

To you Aries

I give the seed first that you might have the honor of planting it. That for every seed you plant one million more will multiply in your hand. You will not have time to see the seed grow, for everything you plant creates more that must be planted. You will be the first to penetrate the soil of people’s minds with My Idea. But it is not your job to nourish the Idea, nor to question it. Your life is action, and the only action I ascribe to you is to begin making men aware of My Creation. For your good work I give you the virtue of Self-Esteem.

To you Taurus

I give the power to build the seed into substance. Your job is a great one requiring patience, for you must finish all that has been started, or the seeds will be wasted to the wind. You are not to question nor change your mind in the middle, nor to depend on others for what I ask you to do. For this I give you the gift of Strength. Use it wisely.

To you Gemini

I give the questions without the answers, so that you may bring to all an understanding of what people see around them. You will never know why people speak or listen, but in your quest for the answer you will find my gift of Knowledge.

To you Cancer

I ascribe the task of teaching people about emotion. My Idea is for you to cause them laughter and tears so that all they see and think develops fullness from inside. For this I give you the gift of Family that your fullness may multiply.

To you Leo

I give the job of displaying my Creation in all its brilliance to the world. But you must be careful of pride and always remember that it is My Creation, not yours. For if you forget this, people will scorn you. There is much joy in the job I give you if you but do it well. For this you are to have the gift of Honor.  

To you Virgo

I ask for an examination of all that humankind has done with my Creation. You are to scrutinize their ways sharply and remind them of their errors, so that through them my Creation may be perfected. For doing this I give you the gift of Purity of Thought.

To you Libra

I give the mission of service, that humans will be mindful of their duties to others. That they may learn cooperation, as well as the ability to reflect on the other side of their actions. I will put you everywhere there is discord, and for your efforts I will give you the gift of Love.

To you Scorpio

I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of the other people, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many times you will be pained by what you see, and in your pain you will turn away from Me and forget that it is not I, but the perversion of My Idea, that is causing your pain. You will see so much of humankind that you will come to know them as animals, and will wrestle so much with the animal instincts in yourself that you will lose your way; but when you finally come back to Me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of Purpose.

To Sagittarius

I ask that you make people laugh, for amidst their misunderstanding of My Idea they become bitter. Through laughter you are to give people hope, and through hope turn their eyes back to Me. You will touch many lives if but for a moment, and you will know the restlessness in every life you touch. To you Sagittarius I give the gift of Infinite Abundance that you may spread wide enough to reach every corner of darkness and bring it Light.

To you Capricorn

I ask the toil of your brow, that you might teach people to work. Your task is not an easy one, for you will feel all of humankind’s labors on your shoulders; but the yoke of your burdens contains the Responsibility of your Brothers and Sisters, which I put into your hands.

To you Aquarius 

Give the concept of the future that people might see other possibilities. You will have the pain of loneliness, for I do not allow you to personalize My Love. But for turning people’s eyes to new possibilities I give the gift of Freedom that in your liberty you may continue to serve humankind wherever they need you.

To you Pisces

I give the most difficult task of all. I ask you to collect all the world’s sorrows and return them to Me. Your tears are to be ultimately My Tears. The sorrow you will absorb is the effect of people’s misunderstanding of My Idea, but you are to give them compassion that they may try again. For this the most difficult task of all, I give you the greatest gift of all. You will be the only one of my twelve Children to understand Me. This gift of Understanding is for you, Pisces, for when you try to spread it to humankind they will not listen.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“But at the right time—it had to be the right time.”

— Louise Glück, from The Complete Poems of L. G.: 1962-2012; “Landscape,”

[lotherings-rose]

GRIS (2018)  

[furuba]

[eatmorebikes]