revelations

'cause i'm a fucking mess sometimes

[okcody]

nctte‌:

nette just shook her head when cody asked what would happen if he tried to get custody of troi. she’d never actually let herself think about it before now. “i’onno. prolly nothin’, i think. they ain’t takin’ a baby from its mom t’give ‘er t’some guy she ain’t ever met before.” she could already sense cody was about to tell her she was wrong and shook her head before she could. “ain’t gonna happen so i ain’t gotta think ‘bout it. i already told ‘im he ain’t got nothin’ t’do with ‘er last time he showed up.” she ran her fingers through her hair and let out a loud sigh, “he ain’t s’pose t’be comin’ ‘round here, anyway. n’he’s s’pose t’be smart.” she shook her head, “he look at the rest of ‘em too?”

“i just don’t like the idea that he knows where i fuckin’ live,” cody muttered, leaning against the wall and shaking her head softly to herself as she went on. “yeah, well, he seemed pretty interested in seein’ her. had t’practically shove him outta’ the doorway.” she nodded. “i had leo in my arms an’ joe was right behind me. saw ‘em both. why? he ain’t gonna come over my kids now, is he?”

[okcody]

nctte‌:

nette huffed and shook her head when cody insisted that somehow she was in the right for assuming she’d been going behind her back, refusing to start another fight. “he looked at ‘er?” she shook her head again, groaning as she turned to check on the kids. “told ‘im i ain’t want shit from ‘im no more n’he ain’t suppose t’do shit like that.” she walked over to sit at the kitchen table and leaned forward to rest her cheek in her hand, “s’been tryin’ t’give me shit for ‘er since he found out. s’fucked up.” 

“he saw ‘er and moved like he was gonna walk inside but i told ‘im t’fuck off,” she shook her head, leaning back against the wall and trying to calm herself down. she wasn’t too fond of strange men showing up on her doorway, especially when she had the kids on her own. “s’fucked,” she shook her head when she explained more of it, glancing back out into the living room, “the fuck happens if he tries t’take ‘er? if he’s got money an’ shit.”

[okcody]

nctte‌:

nette glared over at cody when she tried shutting her down and shook her head, “don’t be accusin’ me of shit.” she leaned back against the counter and let out a loud sigh when she tried to describe the car. “fuckin’ hell,” she muttered. she knew exactly who cody was talking about. “you get the check or no?” she glanced over her shoulder into the room where the kids were and shook her head, “sounds like ‘er dad. told ‘im t’fuckin’ leave me alone.”

“you know what it fuckin’ looks like,” she shook her head, not about to let nette give her shit for assuming otherwise. “hell no,” she looked at her skeptically when she asked if she took the check, “told ‘im you didn’t fuckin’ live here but he saw troi in ‘er swing and was all ‘ain’t that her kid?’” she rolled her eyes, “i told ‘im i was gonna call the fuckin’ cops if he didn’t get the fuck outta the neighborhood.”

[okcody]

nctte‌:

nette narrowed her eyebrows while she waited for anything cody was saying to make sense. it wasn’t until she accused her of going behind her back that she really got annoyed, anyway. “fuck you,” she muttered, taking a few steps back from her, “y’know i ain’t done that shit in forever,” she shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. “what kinda car?”

“don’t even fuckin’ start,” cody shook her head when she started to get defensive, struggling to keep her voice down, “what else m’i supposed to fuckin’ assume when some dude shows up here?” she motioned to her. “i don’t know, man, it was white. too fuckin’ clean to be from this neighborhood.”

[okcody]

nctte‌:

nette wasn’t expecting to be immediately met by cody when she opened the door, but allowed herself to be pushed into the kitchen anyway. cody was clearly freaked about something, but it took a few moments to realize what she’d actually asked her. she stared over at her with a confused look on her face, “the fuck you mean?” she tried to think of any logical answer but when cody accused her of doing something sketchy she shook her head, “i ain’t doin’ nothin’. you sure it ain’t jus’ enzo or some shit? i ain’t got no one else that owes me shit.”

“exactly what i fuckin’ said,” cody shook her head in frustration when she asked what she meant, “some fuckin’ creep showed up tryin’ t’give me money for you. i thought you were done with that fuckin’ shit?” she glared at her, shaking her head in annoyance when she asked if it could have been enzo. “it was a fuckin’ old dude. in a nice ass car.”

[okcody]

“y’wanna tell me why some creep showed up at the door lookin’ for you an’ tried t’write me a check?” cody was on nette as soon as she walked in the door, sidelining her into the kitchen so the kids in the living room wouldn’t see them, keeping her voice low. “i had joe an’ the girls with me an’ he was practically steppin’ inside t’try and see ‘em. the fuck are you doin,’ dude?”

[gothhkitten]

[varsityqueerleadercaptain-deact]

how do i become easier to love

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird sighed when cody seemed to shut her idea down. “fuck,” she muttered, curling up with one of the pillows from the bed. she shook her head when cody told her to take it easy on tj, “no way, dude. she fuckin’ hates us. i try n’talk to ‘er n’she jus’ fuckin’ gives me the death glare n’runs up to the attic like a fuckin’ roach or somethin’,” she laughed softly. “y’had t’find ‘er somewhere. ain’t sayin’ she’s not related to ‘em ‘cause they look the fuckin’ same, m’jus’ askin’ why she came ‘round now n’not, like, ever before. y’knew ‘bout ‘er ‘fore y’got ‘er?”

“do you actually try an’ talk to her, like, normal people? or d’you do what joe does an’ just stare at her whenever she comes downstairs?” she raised an eyebrow, shaking her head at her. “she was livin’ with ‘er dad before he died. they called me askin’ if i had any clue who is mom is, but i jus’ told ‘em i’d take ‘er if they couldn’t find anyone else,” she shrugged. “didn’t know ‘bout her before that.”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird nodded when cody validated that the tests were meant to be scary. “s’shitty. they should make ‘em so they ain’t like that.” she walked over to the bed and laid down, letting out a dramatic sigh. “s’weird,” she shook her head. “does tj even, like, talk to people? she hardly ever says nothin’ to me or joe whenever we see ‘er,” she laughed, “where’d y’even find ‘er at, anyway?”

“i don’t know if there’s a way t’do that,” she shook her head, trying to hide her amusement at bird’s reasoning. she eyed her when she laid down, leaning back on her hand and shrugging at her question. “y’gotta give ‘er a break. she’s, like, a stranger in a house full’a people who’ve known each other forever,” she shook her head, “she talks t’me enough that i know i can trust ‘er around my kids, s’all,” she added, shrugging. “i didn’t find her. she’s joe an’ leo’s half sister. y’know that.”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird shook her head when cody told her that there was only one line, not sure she actually believed her. she walked over to check it once she’d tossed it in the trash and let out a heavy sigh when she saw that cody was right. “fuck,” she sat down on the edge of the bed and buried her face in her hands, “why’s that shit so fuckin’ scary for? s’jus’ a fuckin’ pee stick,” she shook her head. “don’t those, like, expire? why d’you got ‘em for? no one ‘round here’s gettin’ with dudes.”

cody just rolled her eyes when she went to double check, though she wasn’t sure she could blame her. she eyed her when she sat down on the bed, shaking her head and sighing. “s’just, like, scary. i dunno. it’d be weird if it wasn’t,” she shrugged. “we keep ‘em around just in case. i dunno,” she shook her head, “tj’s here. or joe. or nix. better safe than sorry.”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird nodded when cody excused herself and shut the door behind her when she left, locking it before cody had the chance to come back in. she took a while building up the courage to actually open and take the test, but eventually made her way out to find cody with the test wrapped up in a towel. she tossed it onto the bed next to her and shook her head, “i ain’t lookin’ at it. what’s it say?” 

cody glanced up when bird came in, picking up the towel and looking at the test. “one line. you’re in the clear,” she shook her head, standing up to toss the test in the trash. “there’s always a few of these things under the sink, if y’ever need it again,” she added, shaking her head, “but there’s condoms an’ shit down there too. those work even better.”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird threw her hand up defensively when cody accused her of stalling and groaned, “ain’t.” she just rolled her eyes when cody said some more cryptic shit about being better than everyone else and tuned her out. she didn’t really care, to be honest. she watched her open the drawer and eyed the pack of pills when she pulled them out. “shit,” she nodded, “okay. cool. jus’, like, text me when y’go or somethin’.” she listened to cody’s experience and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying anything stupid. she knew she shouldn’t be acting the way she was, but she also knew cody could take it. “ain’t keepin’ it. m’never fuckin’ havin’ kids,” she groaned softly, shaking her head. “fuck off,” she muttered, shaking her head again. “no, fuck you. m’bein’ regular. they’re hard t’deal with.”

“i will,” she nodded softly when she said to text her when she goes, “it takes real quick if y’go at the right time.” she just laughed when she said she was never having kids, “yeah, yeah, i said the same thing. so did nette,” she shook her head, rolling her eyes when she told her to fuck off. she pushed herself off the counter, “alright, alright, take the damn test, then,” she motioned to her, nudging the door open. “i’ll be across the hall.”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

“jus’ cut it out, fuck. i ain’t want anyone findin’ out who ain’t gotta know. nette’d run t’tell fran so fuckin’ quick if she knew.” she groaned softly when cody tried to correct her and shook her head, “whatever. y’still ain’t got room t’be shittin’ on everyone else for it.” she pushed herself up out of the tub and dumped the test out into her lap before tossingh the box into the garbage can. “when’re y’goin’ next?” she glanced up at her skeptically, still not sure if it would be as easy as cody was saying to get birth control. “fuckin’ damn it,” she hated that cody was right. she got up and sat on the edge of the toilet seat, “nette ain’t her fuckin’ kid n’she was nineteen, not fifteen. ain’t the same,” she shook her head. “fuck off, ain’t gotta be jealous of a fuckin’ baby. m’jus’ sayin’, like, they got enough shit t’deal with already with harley bein’ fuckin’ annoyin’, n’she’s always been sayin’ shit ‘bout how i’m hard t’deal with when they ain’t think i can hear ‘em.”

“i wouldn’t let ‘er,” cody shrugged, shaking her head a few seconds later and glaring at her, “you’re stalling.” she rolled her eyes when she kept going, leaning her head back against the mirror. “i got, like, all the right, considerin’ i know how much it fuckin’ sucks t’have a kid at your age. y’got no clue,” she shook her head, glancing at the trash can to make sure she hadn’t thrown the actual test away. “i dunno, like, next week, probably. think m’almost out,” she shrugged, leaning over to pull open one of the drawers and count her pills, “yeah, yeah, got like, ten days left,” she tossed them back in. “my brother, like, punched me in the face when he found out but he got over it. fran’ll do the same. but she ain’t even gonna find out unless you’re actually pregnant and actually wanna keep it, which would be, like, dumb,” she shook her head. “dunno, man. sounds like you’re jealous,” she raised an eyebrow at her, half amused, “are you bein’ hard t’deal with?” 

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird shook her head when cody disagreed with her yet again, “i still don’t need ‘er bein’ fuckin’ annoying, okay? damn,” she groaned, glaring over at cody when she threw nette under the bus. she may not be nette’s biggest fan, but she was definitely annoyed that cody was being completely hypocritical. “says the one who got knocked up at fifteen,” she muttered, looking back at the test again. “yeah, probably” she nodded, “they jus’ give ‘em out t’people? y’ain’t, like, gotta get a fuckin’ hospital note or somethin’?” she honestly didn’t know much about how the clinic worked, she’d only ever heard about it from other people. “i don’t wanna take it if it’s gonna, like, come out bein’ positive. shit’s fuckin’ stupid.” she ran her hands through her hair and shook her head, “the fuck am i gonna do if it is? fran’s gonna kill me. brai’s already havin’ another fuckin’ kid, y’hear ‘bout that? ain’t like they got enough shit t’deal with already.”

“don’t think leo’s the person y’should be worried about findin’ out,” she just shrugged, laughing softly when she glared at her. she just rolled her eyes at her next comment, shaking her head, “that shit’s different. don’t speak ‘bout shit you know nothin’ about,” she shook her head curtly. “all y’gotta do is prove to ‘em that you’re, like, ain’t about havin’ babies at ten years old. last thing they want s’us havin’ more kids an’ gettin’ more money from, like, taxes, or whatever,” she shrugged, running a hand through her hair and sighing heavily when she still seemed to be resisting taking the test. “the longer y’put it off the more painful gettin’ rid of it is gonna be, so...” she motioned to her halfheartedly. “she won’t kill you. nette got knocked up an’ she didn’t kill her.” she shook her head when she asked if she’d heard about brai having another kid, raising an eyebrow at her, “why? you jealous?” 

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird motioned defensively when cody eyed the test in the tub and shook her head, “don’t need leo comin’ in here n’tellin’ the whole world i got a fuckin’ test in my hand. fuck off,” she muttered, leaning back to pick up the test from behind her. “i mean… yeah…” she said slowly, only now realizing that she might not have been told completely true information. “s’what everyone says, ain’t just her. ain’t true?” she groaned, sliding backwards into the tub and groaning dramatically. “’course s’jus’ a fuckin’ lie. guys ain’t ever tell the truth ‘bout nothin’,” she muttered, staring up at the ceiling. “i ain’t got money for pills.”

“leo ain’t know what that is,” cody shook her head, eventually just shrugging and hopping up to sit on the sink. she raised an eyebrow at her as birdie realized what she’d been told might not have been true. she’d find it amusing in almost any other scenario---but she just sighed and shook her head. “nette’s a dumbass. don’t take advice like that from someone who had a kid at 19,” she shrugged, “you can get pills from the clinic for real cheap. s’where i get mine. y’can come with me next time i go, if y’want,” she nodded, pausing to eye the test, “y’just gonna stare at it all day?”

[okcody]

birdgdi‌:

bird just rolled her eyes dramatically when cody pointed out that she’d had two kids. she reached over to smack her arm when she compared her to nette, but moved out of the way when she slipped out the door. she sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared at the test until she heard her coming back, throwing the test into the tub when the door opened jsut in case it wasn’t cody. she opened one of the juice boxes and shook her head when cody asked if she’d been using protection, “y’ain’t gotta use nothin’ if they pull out fast ‘nough.” she groaned, leaning forward to rest her forehead in her hands. “i ain’t stupid, y’know.”

“really?” cody raised an eyebrow with her when she threw the test in the tub, shaking her head to herself. she hopped up to sit on the sink, pausing for a moment to eye her when she spoke up again. “who told you that shit, nette?” she sighed, shaking her head at her, “that’s just some lie dudes tell so they can get off quicker. ain’t true. y’should start taking the pill or something so y’don’t even have t’worry ‘bout that shit.”