I originally posted this series of messages:
[username]! You pop up a lot as a match.. I like your tattoos and the pictures of you grilling or stuffing the turkey.. I also love pickles.. Did you know they are good for the immune system?? I bet you, like me, are very healthy… It’s because of pickles..
Message #2 (May 20th):
Hi [username], how has your weekend been??
Message #3 (May 20th):
[Incorrectly spelled username]!! You get plenty of messages from me.. But I’m sure you get plenty of messages from lots of guys.. I’m at 139th I’ve been in and out of wash. Heights a lot.. I know great Italian places around and great places for margaritas…
Message #4 (May 21st):
Hi [username], how are you?? Do any grilling recently?? I’m going to a bbq on Thursday.. so I’m brainstorming ideas..
Message #5 (May 23rd):
[username].. I realize I’m a part of your social experiment.. You’re like a secret scoiologist.. You want to go to a BBQ on thurs.?? It’s a friends bday and I won’t know anyone there.. Could be fun.. Sometimes I’m funny.. And it’ll be a chance to grill..
Message #6 (June 19th):
[username]!! You never give me the time of day.. :(. But how are things?? How is your week going?? Btw have I told you Im in wash hts. And I like to cook.. We should at least be friends!! Take care!
And I've gotten so fed up with this dude's inability to take a hint that I finally lost it and wrote the following response (after the 6th message I received from him):
Since subtlety of any kind is apparently lost on you:
QUITE OBVIOUSLY I have not responded to any of the SIX messages you have sent me in the past month because I am NOT INTERESTED. This has long been, in my mind, the easiest way to rebuff any unwanted advances on OkCupid (particularly since I receive quite a few messages to begin with). 98% of the men who message me on this website without a response in return seem to understand this.
You, however, seem to belong to the remaining 2% who believe that if you try hard enough, if you are annoyingly persistent to the point of creepiness, then eventually I'll somehow give in and want to go out with you. This leads me to conclude that you are either stupid or perhaps completely socially inept. What is worrisome to me about this is that your nagging persistence, whether based in stupidity or social ineptitude, is maybe indicative of a lack of respect for women (or just people, generally) and their right/ability to say no, to refuse, and to express disinterest.
And here's the thing: I devote too much of my time and energy fighting against a system that perpetuates the notion that men don't have to take "no" for an answer for me to ever be okay with this.
I strongly advise you to take this time now to sit back and reflect on yourself and how you approach and interact with other people, especially women. You need to learn to accept rejection for what it is - an order of cease and desist - and not an invitation for harassment. You'll find that you'll have much better luck with your interactions with women - and, ultimately, maybe not wind up with a court order against you for stalking/harassment.
This is not, in any way, an encouragement for you to continue messaging me. I am even less interested in you than I was from the start. Please do not message me anymore - I cannot be clearer. I wish you the best of luck in learning how to respect women and their boundaries.
I don't give a shit if it seems harsh. I'm tired of it all.