Its Complicated

Just.. trying to figure things out

[catchymemes]

[aww-so-pretty]

A cute baby

[manda]

me: theres no reason for me to be anxious right now!!!

my brain: .....debatable

[shedidnthaveaface]

Please enjoy this tiny twirling water owl.

[mlbagent-deactivated20220213]

[rry]

[333cutie]

a bad bitch like me is going through some emotions rn but that’s ok bc I’m still bad

[metalhearted]

today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again

let that sink in

[okiesdokies]

Woke up to a voicemail from my mom wishing me a happy birthday. And now I can’t stop crying. I don’t even know why.

[okiesdokies]

Ugh

Today I decided again I’m too fat lol

Key word being again.

I wonder if I’ll actually do the things to not be.

[okiesdokies]

05/04/18

Today’s been a weird day.

It’s my ex-best friend’s birthday. Also would be our friendaversary..

And I’m wishing her a happy birthday, and a wonderful year...

[okiesdokies]

Failure

I’m really starting to feel like I should cut my losses and drop out of University. I’m kind of in my 5th year and once I finish this semester with 2 more classes I won’t even be half way through my required number of classes.

In order to graduate I need 120 credits which is 40 classes.

At the end of my openstudies bullshit it’ll cut my classes to 18/40.

18!!!

I have student loans. I can’t afford to be in school for another 3 years in order to finish school.

I can’t mentally handle a full course load of 5 classes. I quickly become over stressed and have all the breakdowns.

Maybe I should just drop out. Maybe it’ll be better..

[okiesdokies]

Feeling good

So this week I’ve been trying to do healthy type things like work out.

And I’m just saying, despite school feeling like it’s a disaster, I’m feeling really pretty good.

Not the best mind you.

But I had a mini dance party after my workout thing/shower. I felt happy and not bleh.

Maybe it’s been the daily workouts, maybe it’s the daily showers, maybe my hormones are actually behaving lol

I don’t know.

But hey let’s hope this stays.

03/01/18

[foxlanguages]

Me: this is the year I will focus on my studies and see results!

Narrator: it was indeed her year

[silversarcasm]

if you had to drop out of a class you are not a failure

if you had to take time off school you are not a failure

if you had to leave school for good you are not a failure

your worth is not determined by academia and this goes doubly so for disabled people and others for whom school is set against them

[okiesdokies]

Dreams

You’ve been in my dreams recently..

Always on your way out. And I’m always fighting for you to stay..

I still don’t know why

[freyacrescentshangover-deactiva]

Cry me a fucking river