OK Pow is sports @okpow - Tumblr Blog

THE HIGHEST RATED PRO WRESTLING MATCHES OF ALL TIME ARE ALL JAPANESE

NFL Picks vs. The Evil Las Vegas Point Spread Week 13 2022 - FUCK YOU BLACK FRIDAY SALES EDITION

(above: Or don’t)

After a truly glorious Thanksgiving day three-for-all we move to THE WEEK THAT HAS NO BYES and the remaining 26 teams playing this weekend. Math on that checks out I think?

Thanksgiving Thoughts

The Bills MIGHT be a little too small-market / bush league to win it all this year. We’re all rooting for you Buffalo but you gotta step it up and let Josh Allen get right. Jared Goff is the new Alex Smith and Detroit should keep doing whatever it is they are doing because it’s kinda working by Detroit’s non-standards. Like I didn’t want to eat glass during their annual noon Thanksgiving game so thank you Dan Campbell. The Giants have no downfield receiving threats and have massively over-performed this year. Cowboys lose to the Bucs in the playoffs for no reason.

Bucs vs. Browns live from THE ROCK N ROLL HALL OF FAME AKA THE MISTAKE BY THE LAKE - Bucs by 3.5

The forecast calls for rain. This game opened with a 45 point total before dropping to 42ish as a result of said oncoming rain. Bucs win 24-21. Under.

Ravens at Jags AND THEIR NASTY-ASS SWIMMING POOL - Ravens by 3.5

All the cool kids are firing up Lamar Jackson in daily fantasy this week against a whatever Jags team. Isn’t Lamar Jackson from Florida? Seems like he should be. A lot of people forget that the last time Jackson played in this shitty stadium he fuckin’ shredded everyone. No receivers? No problem. Ravens in a semi blowout.

Bengals at Titans - Bengals by 2.5

The disrespect for the Titans does not sit well with this blog even though I’m pretty sure like 2 weeks ago I was calling the Titans the worst offense in football BUT THAT WAS THEN. Titans ON THE MONEY LINE.

Texans at Dolphins - FINS BY LIKE 16 OR SOMETHING

This started as 7 point game and moved rapidly because of some QB news in Houston. I know, I know, Houston has a QB? Who knew? This game has sneaky shootout potential. NO CLUE WHO COVERS WHAT OR WHAT THE FUCKIN LINE IS BUT JEFF WILSON DOES A BUNCH OF STUFF.

Broncos at Panthers - Broncos by 2.5

Why is this a game and why is it happening and why do I have to try to talk about it? Jesus fuck you Roger Goddell. PANTHERS MONEY LINE???

Burrs at Juts - Jets by 6

I actually like the Jets offense here? Said no one ever. But I do. *checks the Over/Under of 38 points and backtracks from this claim* The Bears will be minus Justin Fields and I think the Jets finally get BLACK SHEEP ELIJAH MOORE involved a little. Thank you Mike White. On the side line, Zach Wilson, who won’t even be active for the game because HE’S A SPOILED MORMON OR SOME SHIT seethes and have sex with 50 year old women. Jets cover.

LA Rams at KC Chiefs - Chiefs by a lot

The Rams entire offense appears to be RIP and the Chiefs are even a little banged up here. Rams keep it semi respectable just because nothing makes sense. Under on 42 points as well.

Raiders at Seahawks LIVE FROM THE TERROR DOME - Over/Under 47 points

Finally a game to give a fuck about. This should be fun - Over on 47 points. I ate too much turkey. I sleepy. FUCK YOU ROGER GODDELL.

AEW Retro Rant - Pain Maker Chris Jericho vs. Nick F’n Gage LIVE ON FREE TELEVISION

(above: HOLY FUCKIN DIMES TAKE MY MONEY NOW)

When this happened live on TNT, maybe, what, a year or two ago at this point, I sadly didn’t know who Nick Gage was apart from occasionally seeing the name in passing on a pro wrestling message board. The gimmick here is that Chris Jeri-Goat is working a match on free TV vs. THE CURRENT DEATH MATCH KING WHO DOESN’T EVEN WORK FOR AEW BUT IS GETTING A MAIN EVENT SHOT. AGAINST JERICHO. Nick F’n Gage.

The Match

Jim Ross on commentary

Jericho enters in his Painmaker New Japan gear and the crowd sings along to his theme song ALSO SUNG BY CHRIS JERICHO/FOZZY. Awesome intro.

Nick Gage, who literally looks like a crack head and really has no place being on TV BUT I LOVE HIM ANYWAY I’M JUST SAYIN PLEASE DON’T KILL ME enters “representing the Murder Death Kill gang”. The king of the death match so says the announcer.

MJF appears eating popcorn in a surprise appearance. I guess he’s on commentary for this match, I can’t remember what the deal was at the time but MJF and Jericho are feuding. MJF promises a horror movie.

Nick Gage has a pizza cutter and slices at Jericho at Jericho. TO START THE MATCH. Nick Gage is basically doing a White New Jack gimmick. Not complaining. They tie up and brawl with Gage hitting an actual wrestling move, a spinebuster, off the ropes. They brawl to ringside and Gage, who looks so bush league next to Jericho, and end up on the top rope with Nick hitting a superplex and a Falcon Arrow for 2. Commentators talk about how Nick Gage was legally dead for eight minutes one time. Nice.

Jericho mounts a comeback and hits the Lion Tamer for a rope break. More brawling at ringside. Gage is bleeding from something. Gage goes under the ring and casually grabs SOME FUCKING FLUORESENT LIGHT TUBS. LIKE A LOT OF THEM. I don’t recall them doing this type of stuff on free TV like this.

Jericho is also bleeding and hits Gage with a baseball bat. Gage with a backbreaker and Gage pulls out a FUCKIN PIZZA CUTTER and starts hilariously slicing up Jericho’s forehead with it. WE GO TO COMMERCIAL AND DOMINO’S DOES AN AD DURING THE COMMERCIAL. Back to live TV and theres a ton of weapons in the ring including a fucking pane of glass propped up like a table on two chairs. They fight on the top rope some and Jericho hits a top rope rana that throws Gage through the fucking glass. Crowd loves it holy shit.

Only a two count. Jericho goes for a Codebreaker but Gage drops Jericho on the glass and hits him with a light tube. And another shot over the head. Blood everywhere. Glass everywhere.

Gage with a man’s Piledriver for TWO. You just know the carnie in Chris Jericho is loving this right now. Gage grabs a shard of the broken fluorescent light tube and cuts Jericho up.

More light tubes from under the ring. Jericho with the Great Muta Green Mist on Gage and Jericho with a light tube shot. More blood. Judas Effect for three.

The Verdict

Not as impactful as I remember it live, probably because I have since watching more Gage footage, but still worthy of a **** rating.

NFL 2022 Mid Season Progress Report ___> Who Sucks, Who’s About to Blow the Fuck Up Out of Nowhere, WHO’S WINNING THE SUPERB OWL, WHO’S THE YOUNG BLACK DREW BREES, AND MUCH MORE CLICK RIGHT FUCKING HERE TO LEARN ABOUT IT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??//-- ---->>>

(above: a legit MVP candidate)

So now that the NFL season is half over we can begin to make some assumptions about how it all plays out. Now that we have some observable patterns to go by. A “sample size” as they might call it in “muh paper on the wall academic circle jerk.” pssssh. Ain’t nothing academic about this. Below is the MOST IMPORTANT NFL ARTICLE OF 2022. Shout out to Dr. Z of SI.

OUTRAGED Academic Circle JERK Member: Excuse me, sir.... sir... can you substantiate your claims with any research or peer reviews? Any empirical evidence? What exactly are your so-called claims based on?

Me: Nothing. I made them all up. Fuck you!

*cue up the Fastest Three Minutes in Sports Chris Berman Circa 1998 ESPN EATING DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY AT 6:45 PM ON A SUNDAY WITH THE TV ON music*

Elijah Moore Will BLOW THE FUCK UP

This is not a joke - this fucker is way too talented to be balling so weakly and I think that changes. Maybe not this week *checks schedule* AT NEW ENGLAND JESUS CHRIST! but soon. I think the Jets will be forced to play more pass heavy and check out their schedule coming up:

At Pats NO but then....

Home to Bears

At Vikings

At Bills

Home to Loins

Home to Jags

At Seahawks

At Dolphins

There’s lots of fantasy garbage goodness to be had for Moore and again, he’s way too talented not to be getting the ball now that Breece is RIP.

Who Sucks

The fuckin’ cornball Broncos and their “Buy my new footlong, it’s called the Danger-Wich” Subway shilling QB Russ Wilson WHO HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS A CARROLLBABY AND A METCALFBABY.

Others Receiving Votes include the Cardinals and their “high octane air raid offense that is 30th in the league or whatever the fuck” the Texans and the Panthers.

Bryce Young is the Black Drew Brees

He’s small, maybe too small, but he should absolutely be the #1 pick in next year’s NFL draft. He’s come up big in crunch time on multiple occasions and shown the “it” factor it takes to succeed in the NFL. The scary thing is that his stats should look even better, but he’s suffered a 8.1% drop rate from his receivers this year. His size could scare teams off in a talented quarterback class, but it’s about the only knock on his game.

Derrick Henry is the HNIC 4EAE

It’s becoming clear that Derrick Henry will probably follow Adrian Peterson’s lead as an elite running back who plays well past his expected 4-5 year elite shelf life. Henry is fantasy’s safest bet at RB YES EVEN IN DYNASTY MAYBE, has immense ceiling potential each week and will continue to destroy everything in his path for several more years. HE ALSO THROWS TOUCHDOWNS and is probably the greatest running back of all time. When Round 1 in ReDraft rolls around next year you can do much worse than Henry early and often.

Tee Higgins is a Very Strong Play This Week

That is all.

Who Wins The Superb Owl?

The NFL script at the moment is basically as follows - Brady gets into the playoffs in a weak division, defeats Dallas at home and then the Eagles on the road in a shocker. Then they play the Vikings in a night game for the NFC Title and Captain Kirk shits the bed. Something like that. Meanwhile the Chiefs and Bills are on a collision course but one of these teams gets upset by the Titans who then lose in the AFC Title Game to either the remaining Mahomes or Allen. Brady defeats either Mahomes (again) or Allen TO WIN THE OWL and then leaves Tampa to sign with the 49ers in the off-season.

#NFL football #tom brady #nfl

NFL Picks Against the Evil Las Vegas Point Spread Week 11 2022 - Incoming Blizzard Edition

(above: Even I can’t hate on this photo)

The Titans are probably the one team that can manage to get away with being average and find ways to win. Always a solid roster. But they should still be the Oilers. They could go on a Cinderella run if Burks pans out some more....

Browns vs Bills from Buffalo Detroit - Bills by 8.5

The Bills D looks banged up but playing in a dome vs a blizzard probably benefits Josh Allen, who will be super fucking pissed because the Vikings didn’t really deserve to win last week. But 8.5 is a lot especially on a neutral field - Amari Cooper goes off but so does Steff Diggs but this line should be closer to 6.5 imo. Browns cover.

Eagles at Clots - Iggies by a manly road 7

Pink highlighter fuck face Eagles head coach is about to find out that DISNEY KIDS SPORTS MOVIE HEAD COACH JEFF SATURDAY IS THE WRONG GROSSLY UNQUALIFIED COACH TO FUCK WITH. COLTS MONEY LINE.

Loins at Lil’ Giants - Giants by 3.5

I will take the Over on 45 points in a game where it’s Daniel Jones who runs wild although Saquon still kinda runs wild but not as wild as you think. The Lions are fun but wheels off.

Jets at Patriots - Patriots by 3.5

This could be the Defensive Smash Spot of the Year Sweet Jesus. For the Patriots, if that wasn’t already obvious. The Jets have put together some good games but are still the fucking Jets and most importantly THE PATRIOTS ARE COMING OFF A BYE WEEK AND IT’S BELICHICK AT HOME TO ZACH WILSON. Patriots cover and over on 38 points. Meanwhile in the press box, Robert Kraft demands more eye contact from his masseuses.

Panthers at Ravens - Ravens by 13

Speaking of coming off a bye week with plans of doing some fucked up shit at home to bad teams, LAMAR JACKSON IS YOUR FANTASY QB OF THE WEEK TO WATCH AND AVOID PLAYING AGAINST. Vegas sees this as a 27-13ish kinda game and that seems fair. Ravens stunt all over these Charlotte hoes.

Rams at Taints in New Orleans- Over/Under 39 points

There is some sneaky upside / shootout potential here me thinks. Olave, Kamara, Higbee, all Rams WRs, et al. are all great fantasy plays. Over on an obscenely low 39 points.

Raiders at Broncos at Hile Migh Stadium - Broncos by 3

As a Russ Wilson truther and denier of praise it pains me to say he’s in a really good spot here and Courtland Sutton is a GREAT wide receiver play this week. Broncs cover at 2.5.

Cowboys at Vikings - Cowboys Oddly Favored by 1.5 points

Le heckin gamerino of the heckin week here. Unless you count Washington vs. Houston but we aren’t acknowledging that game this week. I will happily take the Vikings as a home favorite to Dallas AND the Under on 47 points in a Double Play Lock of the Week. Zeke looks worse than Pollard, Pollard doesn’t get touches, Dalvin Cook gets lots of touches, wash rinse repeat.

#nfl

Savage vs. Piper

#WWE #randy savage #pro wrestling

HHH and Owen Hart

NFL Fantasy Football DFS DraftKings Outlook and Notes Week 11 2022

(above: Blaze this shit up)

Week 11 (slooooow down please) is already here and all the beautiful peoples can’t stop talking about David Montgomery, the cheap-on-DraftKings-and-kinda-slow-but-still-good Bears RB WHO WILL RIP SHIT UP THIS WEEKEND VS THE FALCONS ON TURF NOW THAT SHIT HEAD TD VULTURE HERBERT HAS THE HIV VIRUS AND IS OUT OF THE PICTURE. Fire him up in all formats in a week where, famous last words, Justin Fields chills out and someone else does most of the running. Or not.

Editors Note: Sponsored by Dallas IP Attorneys.

Weather Note: SNOW IN BUFFALO. PLAN ACCORDINGLY. Whatever that means.

QBs to Respect and Admire:

-Lamar Jackson at home to Carolina with a Vegas implied team point total of 28ish.

-Fields and Mariota in the same game.

-Joe Burrow vs. Pitt’s horrid pass defense.

-Daniel Jones?

-Deep Sleeper and Enemy of This Website Russell Wilson Home to LV.

RBs to Cherish and Fawn Over:

-Barkley home to the Loins but no shit and he’s expensive.

-R Stevenson home to the Jets.

-D Pierce home to the Skins....?

-Kamara home to the Rams in a game with sneaky shootout-lite potential?

Mildly Sneaky WRs to Stare at Intently:

-Tee Higgins vs. Pitt

-Sutton home to the Raiders with no Jeudy

-Olave home to the Rams regardless of who’s under center for the Saints.

-D. Johnson home to the Bengals

-Adam Thielen and Michael Gallup

-Chase Claypool

-Double Secret Probation Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here Elijah Moore.

TEs to Have and Hold Forever

-Hockenson, Pitts, Higbee, Dulcich.

Defenses to Fear and Admonish:

-The Patriots D is clearly the strongest play of the week AT HOME TO THE MORMON TWINK WHO CAN’T STOP MAKING BAD DECISIONS.

-Colts D at home to the Eagles at the stone minimum price of $2200 on DK. HURTS IS CAPABLE OF HAVING A BAD GAME.

Games to Target Because Vegas Said So:

-Bears at Falcons

#fantasy football #draftkings #DFS #DFF #nfl

NFL Quick Hits 11/15/22

(above: Pat Mahomes is inevitable)

TEN: Ryan Tannehill upgrades to full on injury report CHI: Bears send Khalil Herbert (hip) to injured reserve HOU: Texans claim Eno Benjamin off waivers from Cards TEN: Titans CB Caleb Farley to IR with herniated disc PIT: Najee Harris dealing with 'knee discomfort' FA: Packers waive 2021 third-rounder Amari Rodgers PHI: Dallas Goedert (shoulder) to miss 'extended time' LAR: Matthew Stafford remains in concussion protocol LAR: Cooper Kupp needs ankle surgery, going to IR NO: Beat: Winston 'a possibility' for Week 11 vs. Rams

#nfl

It’s Time to Rant About Daily Fantasy Football Again NFL Week 10 2022

(above: fuck these people)

I had the balls to play Jonathan Taylor and Aaron Jones yesterday plus nailed QB and the run-it-back play of Sun God St. Brown and Defense and still barely won money with this lineup. FUCK YOU DIONATE JOHNSON. FUCK YOU MACK HOLLINS YOU WORTHLESS-ASS FAKE #2 WR PLAYING AT HOME IN THE SAME FUCKIN’ GAME AT JONATAHN TAYLOR AND ALSO RENFROE IS ON IR AND SO IS FUCKING WALLER!!!! AND YOU STILL DO NOTHING!

And while St. Brown had a great day HE DIDN’T CATCH A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN IN A GAME WHERE THE LIONS SCORED 30 POINTS. CATCH A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN NEXT TIME PLEASE. Pretty sure he was down at the 1 yard line at one point or some shit.

Chris Olave is the only real WR on the Saints at the moment and was playing the shitty Steelers secondary and still did nothing. That’s cool.

I thought Harrison Bryant was a good cheap play in a game that had shootout potential.

The worst however, is Diontee Johnson. In the same game as Olave. Nothing. End of rant.

The FTX Sam Bankman Fried Crypto Crash Scandal Explained IN AN EASY TO DIGEST FORMAT

Be Sam Bankman Fried / SBF

Become overnight billionaire through mysterious means, claim your fortune was made via untraceable arbitrage. BECAUSE IT WAS JUST SO EASY TO BUY BITCOIN IN AMERICA FOR $10K AND SELL IT TO PEOPLE IN JAPAN FOR $11K AND POCKET THE DIFFERENCE OVER AND OVER. IN 2019.

Create a trading exchange where people trade and make commissions off of trades.

Create hedge fund that coincidentally exists in the same office as the exchange. In The Bahamas.

Users realize they are getting counter traded by the fund that is owned by the exchange they use. Essentially they are getting front-run and input read on everything they do.

Shady, but ok....

A few months ago, massive crypto ponzi Celsius blows up and nukes fucking everyone.

Everyone except Sam Bankman Fried and his hedge fund, how fortuitous.

Actually it looks like the hedge fund did get nuked and were bailed out by.... SBF.

How did he do this? By printing monopoly money and then using that as collateral alongside user funds to give a loan to his hedge fund.

This is all fine as long as the underlying monopoly money doesn’t plunge in value AND as long as there isnt a bankrun. Note that fractional reserves are not an option and everything must be fully liquid at all times.

At the same time Bankman is pressuring / lightly bribing lawmakers about how every other DeFi and crypto exchange project is EVIL.

Enter CZ, owner of Binance, another scam but still, allegidly, the biggest exchange in the world. CZ helped Bankman Fried start the FTX trading exchange and in many ways Bankman Fried is/was running the exact same playbook as CZ. But now CZ is feeling stabbed in the back as Bankman pushes lawmakers to go after other trading exchanges. Like Binance.

CZ owns a lot of Bankman Fried’s aforementioned monopoly money.

CZ decides to sell monopoly money. For the culture. And the memes.

Bankman Fried begs him not to sell. CZ declines.

Extremley low liquidity of collateral monopoly money means that any sell pressure basically nukes the price. AND PEOPLE THINK CRYPTO IS ACTUALLY LIQUID AHAHAHA.

As this happens, people (retail) start to notice something is wrong and begin withdrawing funds from FTX.

Execute BankRun + CollateralCollapse.exe

Aaaaaaaand it’s gone.

#crypto #ftx #binance #sam bankman-fried #business #cryptocurreny trading

NFL Week 10 2022 Picks Against the Evil Las Vegas Point Spread - Brownie the Elf Edition

(above: APOLOGIZE. NOW.)

We are already at the halfway point of the regular season and you still haven’t visited the top primary care clinic in North Dallas....

Seahawks vs Punished Tom Brady LIVE FROM BAD FOOD WORSE WEATHER MARY FUCKIN POPPINS LONDON - Bucs by 3

Tom Brady, Steph Curry, et al just lost a bunch of money in a crypto scam AND NOW BRADY HAS TO FLY TO LONDON TO PLAY COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR AND RUSS-WILSON-EXPOSER GENO SMITH. How will Brady’s ancient body handle the jet lag and endless bangers and mash he will be forced to gorge on in lieu of nutrient-rich Tampa-area child’s blood? Chris Godwin catches 2 tuddies and the Bucs cover if you buy down to 2.5. Seattle has probably over-performed this season and the Bucs have probably underperformed. So far....

Broncos at Titans - Tits by 2.5

Not sure who is under center for Tennessee this week but it’s not good either way. Somewhere over the hills AJ Brown is laughing. Over on an absurdly low 36 point total?

Cleveland Brownie the Elfs vs Fantasy Football Savior Mike McDaniel’s Fins - Dolphins by 5.5

Tyreek Hill is on pace for like ALL THE SINGLE SEASON RECEIVING STAT RECORDS. He’s so hot right now! At some point the Dolphins have to chill out a little with the fantasy goodness and someone has to put their foot down. This week, that foot is the Cleveland Brownies. Browns keep it close and this game does not go over the implied total of 48.5 points.

Saints at Steelers - Saints favored by 1.5

Now here’s a home dog I can get behind BECAUSE THE NFL MAKES NO SENSE. Najae Harris scores 3 TDs on 42 yards rushing. Steelers. Money line. Don’t care.

Loins at Burrs LIVE FROM THE WINDY CITY - Bears by 3

This is what soycucks might call a YUMMY HECKIN NFC NORTH DIVISIONAL GAME. And for once, they’d be right. I started to type “because nothing makes sense, the Lions win” but I had to delete it. I can’t. I just can’t. Even if Fields chills out a little there’s no way the Lions win on the road. Their defense IS THAT FUCKING BAD.

Vikings at THE SUDDENLY CRUMBLING BILLS - Bills by 3.5

If Josh Allen can’t play, and I assume this is already factored into the above point spread, VIKINGS MONEY LINE ALL DAY. Buffalo fans spend the rest of the day sitting in darkness listening to Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt” on repeat.

Texans at Giants - Giants by 5

Saquon Barkley profiles as THE DAILY FANTASY RB PLAY OF THE YEAR in this spot. It’s that juicy. Massive meltdown potential for the Texans here, I think this line should be closer to 7. Giants cover.

Jags at Chiefs - Over/Under 50 points

I like the Over here. I mean the Chiefs will score 30. Jags garbage it up against soft prevent defense. Wash rinse repeat. Is this the Kadarius Toney “Tyreek who?” eruption game?

Colts at Raiders - Disaster Bowl 2022 - Raiders by 7

In a brilliant tank-job, the Colts have hired their former center to coach out the rest of the season lol. This entire game vibe is a disaster. Raiders should win by a touchdown and the Colts might have the worst offense in the league right now.

Cardinals vs Rams - Rams by 1.5

At some point the Rams figure things out, no? Relatively speaking anyway. Kyler Murray will do his usual “nothing for 3 quarters and then two garbage TDs in the 4th in a losing effort” routine but I’m thinking Rams cover here.

Cowboys at Packers from Scenic Lambeau - Cowboys by 5

PACKERS MONEY LINE.

NFL Week 9 2022 Picks Against the Evil Las Vegas Point Spread - Pound For Pound GOAT Edition

(above: Le Heckin’ Ultimate Weapon)

Does anyone even use Tumblr anymore? Also a shout out to Eyebrow Queen Microblading Certification Training Courses of Irving. You do wax your eyebrows right?

Chargers at Falcons - Chargers by 3

This started out as a 7 point line and dropped to 3 because the Chargers have no healthy WRs. Gerald Everett time. I will take the Under on 49 points because THE CHARGERS HEAD COACH IS A FAKE DEFENSIVE GENIUS EXCEPT HE’S NOT A GENIUS BUT JUST THIS ONE TIME HE WILL BE A GENIUS BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE I STILL DON’T BELIEVE IN THE ATLANTA SHITBIRDS OFFENSE. Plus the Bolts have no WRs so Under makes sense.

Dolphins at Bears - Dolphins by 4.5

Justin Fields has had two good games back to back, I think? BUT THE REST OF THE SAMPLE SIZE IS BAD. But he also needs WRs. And fuck Cole Kmet. Anyway because it’s at home I think the Bears can keep it close. Tyreek Hill scores a TD but does not go for 190 yards like last week.

Raiders at Jags - Over / Under 47 points

This reeks of shoot out to me. Or is that just the smell coming from the Jags heinous in-stadium urine pool? Davante Adams is overpaid but he will do things in this game that will trick stupid Raiders fans into believing he was worth all that shit they gave up for him.

Clots at Paytes - New England favored by 0.5 points

I did not see Sam Ellingher (sp?) play last week but I’m pretty sure the New England defense, at home, will not be impressed with his sweet moves and rad skills. Patriots should win this outright and there is massive meltdown potential for the Colts in this spot.

Bills at Jets - Bills by a manly 11.5 on the road

Opened as a 7 point line and moved to 11.5 after people realized the Bills were playing the Jets. Zach Wilson will continue to play “dance around outside the pocket, evade a defender, continue holding the ball while Salah screams at you to throw it out of bounds and then throw an INT instead” but I’ll take the Jets passing attack to come alive, relatively speaking, and keep this close in garbage time.

Panthers at Bengals - BIG CATS COLLIDE GROWL - Bengals by 7

What a heckin’ wholesome yummy epic internet cat humor game this should be. EXCEPT THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT JOE MIXON ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD GAME AND SCORING TWO TOUCHDOWNS. The Panthers are still the fuckin’ Panthers. Bengals cover but only if you buy it down to 6.5.

Vikings at THE CULTURALLY APPROPRIATED WASHINGTON FRANCHISE - Pick Em?

In what metaverse is this matchup a Pick Em game lol? Seriously? Yes the Vikings win. In the protoverse. The fuck is Vegas thinking here.

LA Rams at Bucs - NFC Title Rematch - Over/Under 42.5

I know both of these offenses have been underwhelming and Cooper Kupp is dead or something BUT THIS IS THE GAME OF THE WEEK AND IT’S PRIME TIME (3:25 PM) AND IT SHOOTS OUT. Chris Godwin + Tyler Higbee *eyeballs emoji*

Titans at Chiefs - Chiefs by 12 points lol

This started at 6 and moved to 12? I’ll take the Under on 45 points because this probably ends 30-10ish with KC just not really having to do much because the Titans are so inept. This is assuming Willis is starting under center and I assume that’s the case because why else would the line move from 6 to 12.

#nfl

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

OK Pow is sports