A Mess Of A Man

Graham Lambert Just Another Werewolf

[amara-nguyen]

[ What Amara’s life had come to that she was at a small town ‘soiree’ but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be fun. She was here with someone, refusing to overthink it, after all this time. That someone had caught the attention of somebody’s mother which spurred Amara into action, putting on a high and shiny voice- ] Oh honey, there you are! I thought I lost you in the crowd. Whatever would the children think if I came home without you? Little Eddie and Freddie would weep for days. Did you bring that for me? How sweet! [ She took the drink out of the mother’s hand, smiling as she left ] … Well, that was fun. Did you lose your tie to a lonely ‘soccer mom’ on the way in too?

@older-not-wiser​

[older-not-wiser]

[It was boring. No, it was hell. How sad and pathetic was he that he’d gotten to the point in his life where he couldn’t even enjoy being hit on by an attractive older lady? Whatever the reasoning behind his unfortunate progression, he couldn’t wish it away faster. he was seconds away from rolling his eyes and loudly saying ‘blah blah blah’ when Amara arrived] Darling. I was beginning to think you’d thrown me to the wolves here. Well, I doubt they’d miss me that much, but we wouldn’t want to risk it, now would we? The poor dear’s wouldn’t know what to do with themselves without daddy to tuck them into bed. If you’ll excuse us, Mrs....whatever the f you said your name was [he mutters under his breath as they breeze past her]. Fun for you, maybe. It was like entering the seventh circle of hell for me. I finally understand what Dante’s Inferno was about. Divine Comedy my left ass cheek. All I see are tears, Amara.

About the tie--I’ve completely blacked that part out. So if anyone asks what’s clogging the garbage disposal, that’s definitely not it.

[movie-gifs]

Wanted (2008), dir. Timur Bekmambetov

[older-not-wiser]

lulu-matthews :

Oh. Did I step on your foot? Sorry, not sorry.

Sorry not sorry? Why wouldn’t you be sorry? That’s just mean. Are you feeling okay?

[older-not-wiser]

M!A: Your character is their AU self (Kreagan Valley).

I have such a long to-do list for today. I have to call the guy to fix the washing machine, make dinner–or just order in and tell Andy I made dinner, she won’t notice. Probably–and offer homework help to the kids. Did you know they changed math? They definitely changed math, it’s impossible to grasp now.

[older-not-wiser]

original-willow :

“Really? You’re encouraging underage drinking now? Such a bad influence. I’d be disappointed if I were surprised. But, sadly, I’m not, so…I don’t think living through that revolution makes you a rebel. It just shows a good survival instinct, really.”

“It’s not underage where I’m from. Or in most parts of the world. Really, it’s ridiculous. You understand. You’re ancient. Ah, but you’re not surprised, so once, again I’m merely living up to expectations. Wha--no, I’m a rebel! I’m definitely a rebel. I drink a lot, I like leather jackets, and I’ve never paid my taxes. Definitely a rebel.”

[older-not-wiser]

sylvie-dupont :

“The French Revolution was widely overrated. It was mostly cold and wet and loud. Honestly, I preferred the lead up to the Russian one. All tears, but the fur coats were beautiful. Absolutely lovely. Vodka? Oh no, darling. Darling no.”

“You can’t wax poetic about Russians and then slam vodka in the same sentence. It’s just not right. What would Czar Nicholas say? Take it back right now, or his ghost will come haunt you or something.”

[older-not-wiser]

theinfamous-louis :

Relaxing isn’t in my blood, but thanks for the concern. 

Hmm, nope. No concern here. I don’t really do concern. What you’re experiencing is extreme judgement from a much older and wiser individual than yourself. Honestly if all the young people in the world worked themselves to death, there’d be more time to relax for me [he says as though he’s worked a day in his life].

[older-not-wiser]

grandpafangs :

“It always comes back to the French Revolution with you, doesn’t it? Vive la…Enjolras still died at the end, man. Who’s spiking punch? That’s so boring. We’d just go order at the bar back home ‘cause if you’re old enough to vote, you’re old enough to drink heavily after finding out the results.”

“Noooo, definitely not. Horrid time period. I barely passed through. I just wanted to see a beheading. Now if you want an interesting event, try experiencing the Mongol empire at it’s finest. That was the life, there were beheadings every day. Eh, I was always more fond of the other guy. Marian. Whatever he was called. Well we aren’t back home, now are we? We’re in a little hick town with ridiculous drinking laws. So we have to encourage some rebellion.”

[older-not-wiser]

amara-zhang :

[*le mini time skip* Now they’re at the bar, Amara had absolutely insisted that she was more than capable of having another drink without being so humanly affected by it. She wasn’t drunk, you were drunk! Only she was totally laughing way too hard (she might have snorted) and had forgotten entirely all the things she wasn’t supposed to say to him. ] Noooo! Oh my god, Graham, you literally cannot take you anywhere. I bet you think it’s just that Ikea but actually you’re not even welcome in the whole of Suede- Sweden anymore. All of the furniture I ever bought was already made, why would I have any desire to build my own shelves? Please. Love yourself. I love myself. Ha! I do love a bloodbath, I do. Aw, how sweet of you to remember. I- Hey. You can shove that back down your throat immediately, Graybae. BTW, modern day nickname is so not the vamp equal of a love confession either.

Tell me more about your “book”.

Nooo, I know, believe me. It’s becoming quite a problem. I’m...what’s the word for it? Oh, disappointed! Tha’s not the one I was looking for, but it works [laughs at himself, quite amused. He’s more fond of himself drunk than at any other point]. Well who wants to go to Sweden anyhow? Anyway? Anyway. [winks at her] ‘Mara dear, you know that’s ‘cause you’ll always be a princess inside. Mhh, I’m sure you just love baths altogether, bloody or otherwise. It was an educated guess. We have known each other....a lot of years. God, how old am I? I always thought I’d be getting a midlife crisis around seven hundred, but I guess now’s as good a time as any. Amy, do you see wrinkles around my eyes? Grey in my beard? Graybae! We should get t-shirts. Or matching tattoos. Live while you’re human, my mother always said. I’m just kidding, she never said that, she was an idiot. Couldn’t read or write. Woah, I just had a thought. ‘Mara, did you know that there was a time when we all couldn’t read? Every single one of us?

My book....My book! Right, yes. It’s a pet project I started in the 70′s okay, lots of drugs, lots of booze, lots of parties. I haven’t written down a single word, but it’s all up here [taps his temple with a finger] waiting.

[older-not-wiser]

alison-halliday :

“There will be no spiking of anything at prom. Absolutely not. Even if I have to search every student myself. Because drunk students is the last thing I want.”

“Counterpoint: if you just let them do it, because you know they’ll find a way regardless of your effort, it’ll all be a lot easier for both of you. The kids get to have their fun without hassle, and you get to enjoy a night off your feet. Win-win, as the kids say.”

[older-not-wiser]

the-biggestbaddest-wolf :

“Graham, would you please desist. Wandering around at this precarious time is hardly the smartest decision you’ve ever made. Did you forget that one wrong stumble, trip, fall onto the sidewalk and you could end up—,” he mimed ‘dead as a doornail’ before letting out a sigh, “Not to be dramatic, of course.”

“‘Wandering around’ a town I’ve been in for what feels like an eternity already, I’m hardly in danger of getting lost or anything. And the hospital staff know me, so I’m sure I’d get the best treatment if I...” Squints at Frederick like he really doesn’t know what he’s trying to say. “Break my face or whatever you’re doing there. You’re definitely being dramatic, but the concern is appreciated. Mostly. It would be more appreciated if I were drunk.”

[older-not-wiser]

sinfulbell :

“Graaaaaaham!” Stella all but fell into him but it passed off rather convincingly as a friendly hug. Admittedly most of what he’d said had gone over her head (besides the word ‘vodka’) but if there was one thing she could always rely on, it was Graham’s tendency to always say yes to a drink. “Did you say vodka?”

“Stella! Hello.” Graham wasn’t the most huggable person, so he was admitedly caught off guard by the sudden embrace, but this was Stella. Nothing she did was particularly surprising anymore. “I did say vodka, though before you ask if I have any, that wasn’t the point of my monologuing. I do, however, know where we could find some. If you could use a drink.” He didn’t have his wolfy senses to help him out, but he was pretty sure he could still drink her under the table. Of course, it might not be that fair a fight if she’d already started drinking.

[older-not-wiser]

miss-molly-v :

“But vodka in the water bottle is so expected. That’s what everyone does. Honestly, the fun and creative thing would be…tequila from some sort of hidden flask? And French Revolution?”

“You kids are so into your individuality these days, good for you. That’s a good thought, but where would you hide the flask in those fancy dresses everyone’s so into these days? Yes, French Revolution. Very big time for rebels. Don’t they teach you anything in schools?”

[older-not-wiser]

meredithbrightmiss :

Are you speaking from experience? Wanna get that checked out at the hospital?

Sorry, I’m hungry and snappy. Yes, I will take that cereal bar, thank you.

Speaking from prom experience? No no, I never went to a prom. And I’m certain I spend enough time in the E.R. as is to know if I’d picked something nasty up somewhere else.

Hungry and snappy is my favorite combination, especially for a woman. Beautiful and mean is how you should be. Of course, here you go. Enjoy the disgusting cranberry-ness of it.

[older-not-wiser]

dr-rebelprincess :

“When was the last time that you lived through the French Revolution? Watching Les Mis in 3D doesn’t actually count unless it’s as a masochistic tendency. Bourbon is what’s readily available in all the cool dads’ liqueur cabinets, it’s a move of convenience. Besides, it’s prom. They’re not actually trying to die. At least not until the after-party but then you have to take your vodka in jello form or you’re just not doing it right.”

“Ah--well, other than the unfortunate night I spent watching that old Marie Antoinette movie on late-night cable, I guess it’s been a while since I lived through the revolution. A move of convenience, blasphemy. If they want something bad enough, they can get it. Kids are wily, you know. Well, I guess I can give them a break if they’re doing jello shots after. Though I am curious to know how you know so much about this. Were you....a bad kid in high school, Doctor Parker?”

[older-not-wiser]

“Kids these days know nothing about truly being a rebel. They should live through the French Revolution, and then they can talk. You know they want to spike the prom punch with bourbon? Amateurs. Vodka in a water bottle is the way to go.”

[meredithbrightmiss]

Did all of you kids run out of your Prom bribes? Because I’m starving and I have a meeting soon– you sure none of you have, like, a Prom muffin or bagel or something? No?

[older-not-wiser]

Oh god no. I don’t have children. And if I did, they certainly wouldn’t be running for a prom. These people need to get their priorities in order. Prom lasts one night, the STD you get from your date lasts a lifetime. But, uh...I think I might have a smushed cereal bar in one of my pockets, hold on--Ah, found it. It’s cranberry-almond, do you want it?