I don't know how to read more on this lmao
I honestly thought I was done with this site but the past two months have been turning into a fucking nightmare and absolutely no one in my life even has a clue. They all think I’ve been good what with the new job and finally transferring into state college and honestly I should be happy but now the same old crap is coming back. It’s honestly worse now. All my friends had already moved on with their lives and I learned to accept that but now I barely feel like the few I do see even like me anymore. I feel like more and more of annoyance tbh. I am feeling more and more alone each day and yeah I could try to talk to any one of my old friends but why the fuck would I be a damper on their day if we haven’t even talked to each other in over a year or two in most cases. I can’t even get myself to go out and try to be social. I literally just bail on everything and end up alone at home doing nothing but stay in bed and try not to cry. I even got invited to the bars tonight but I couldn’t even get myself to do that. I got offered and all I could think of was how literally no one would care if I went and if I did it would probably end up like it always does, me running into people from highschool and feeling like they just want the conversation to end. I wish I had some sort of self confidence then I might not make myself this fucking miserable but I honestly can’t even look at myself in the mirror and not hate what I see. For fucks sake I said I was done with this place and I did so well for so long but nothing changed. I only came here because Facebook would m.ake people concerned panic literally I have no one else anymore. No one. I pushed them all away? I’m so sorry if you got this far and I’m even more sorry if you’re my friend but I honestly don’t know what I can do anymore. I don’t even know if I can handle this.
