[papillon-de-porcelaine]

First meeting.

(You guys should really watch Dead Boy Detectives on Netflix. It's really good (and really queer))

[angel-of-the-redacted]

Reblog if you've found friendship because of your fandoms.

[magpiemorality]

~A brief 2024 update~

Hello, it's me, Magpie!

It's been a long while since I was here, writing all these little stories. In the time since I moved fandoms, several jobs, wrote a lot of long and much more mature stories (thanks to the old guard and associated marinelliverse properties), and then had an extended break from writing.

Now I'm back, in the Dead Boy Detectives fandom, over on my new sideblog @magpiemarten. Feel free to come join me there if you're also a fan, while I'm getting back into the swing of things, or just read along on AO3.

I've been so glad over the years to see people still reading my old ficlets, enjoying them, rereading and commenting and kudosing. It's a real joy to look back, and see what I achieved and what I've grown from.

Maybe I'll see you on the other blog, but if not, have as good a 2024 as you can.

Don't forget to choose kindness, always.

-Magpie

[oldmagpie]

number 7: the fandom sads

You are sad. The fandom is making you sad. We’ve covered engagement and also readership and rarepairs, and curating tumblr. Tagging and filtering will certainly help, but you’re still sad. Why is that?

Well apart from the terrible tone of most fandom posts, there’s the fun phenomenon of fandom discourse, that could be part of it. I’m not touching that one just yet, even I have some self preservation instincts, but let’s look a little wider, at how norms and differing opinions can cause the big sads. 

So we have fandom norms. They exist, they establish early on in fandoms when the first big content booms occur. They often relate to the original property inversely, which in less big words speak means that you’re likely to get a lot of the opposite type of content to the genre of the original thing. It isn’t a hard and fast rule but it does trend. Now you might join later and disagree with these norms, or have new ideas. Great! Have them! Share them. People might disagree with you, they might not be on board since the norms are so entrenched. And this is the point that so often turns angry and resentful. Remember, once again, that you are not in charge of other people’s feelings. And it’s one thing to think you’re super right, but someone else might think exactly the same. Manage your expectations of coming into a fandom late with new takes please. It’ll be better all round. 

You might be getting hate, for something or other. Discourse exists, and I guess we are briefly going to comment on it, after all. If you know why you’ve created or supported something, with all the facts you can get your hands on, then stick to it. People disagree. It’s natural. People also witch hunt. It’s fandom. Be as confident as you can that you’ve made your choices for the right reasons as you know them. Be ready to change your opinions or choices if someone presents good information or arguments against. But always make up your own mind, and step away from the screen if you need to. Use that whole curation option in the tumblr bad post. Go inactive on discord. Etc. If someone hates you for doing something you did with the best intentions but poorly informed, woops maybe correct and move on. If they hate you for a choice you made with all the facts and your own consideration, then gosh they might have to just hate you. The world won’t end. 

Fandom sads from writing and engagement we’ve talked about, but a brief return to say that yeah, it’s normal. But you still should work on it. It’s going to keep adversely affecting you otherwise.

Nobody makes good stuff anymore. Ahhh now we’ve reached the fandom lifespan discussion. That’s for the next post. 

[oldmagpie]

number 6: tumblr bad

So tumblr is getting you down. That sucks, it should be a fun place to enjoy your hobbies and free time. Funnily enough, tumblr sucks for a lot of people, because of some established misunderstandings of how to use this site we all interact in. Isn’t that fun! Let me explain. 

Tumblr is a platform that endorses and encourages a culture of shame, demonisation and disagreement. That’s just how it is, argue with me if you want. It therefore attracts a lot of people who enjoy that kind of interaction, where punching someone else down becomes a mark of superiority. Purity culture, the rise of the online children, all that boils up and creates a sense of uncertainty and definitely not being safe. Because no one is! If I don’t get angry anon asks for these posts I will be quite frankly shocked, and somewhat disappointed. But don’t despair, there’s always hope. Tumblr itself is akin to a toxic friend with its positives and negatives, and just like with a toxic friend the key is, and always will be, boundaries. On tumblr that means unfollowing, blocking, filtering (google how to use tumblr post and tag filters, if you don’t know how that works yet), closing anon asks, uninstalling the app for time away, etc. You can even just scroll past. All actions that... oh look at that, actions you have to take for yourself. Personal responsibility, the overarching theme of these posts. Learn it and love it, it’ll be vital in the long run.

Actually let’s take a second to talk about scrolling past. It’s a miracle option because literally anyone can do it and it requires no tech configuration at all! Free of charge! Just one finger needed! Takes no extra time! Sarcasm aside, just scroll past. If you don’t like or agree with something, scroll past. If it viscerally offends you, block the tag or unfollow the person, or block the person if you’re concerned about it. And remember this one important thing: in 90% of cases it is not the OPs fault you saw the thing. However, if you had taken all the steps to avoid it in the first place (filtered, blocked, unfollowed, not searched, etc.) and they had not done their own due diligence and tagged appropriately, then yeah, that’s on them. You have three options now. 1. if you aren’t going to unfollow or block then contact them and ask them to change their habits/behaviours, but for the love of fuck don’t just attack them in their reblogs or asks. People don’t do what you ask them to when you start yelling at them. They might have a reason for not tagging or have genuinely forgotten this once, just ask plain and simple and wait for the reply. If the reply is no then you know that option is out and you should probably consider the unfollow button. 2... unfollow or block them. Simple, done. 3. scroll past, and forget about it for the day, or just switch off and go do something else if it’s really bothering you. 

Ah the unfollow button. And the block button, equals in how misunderstood they are. These two are definitively not a hate button. It’s nobody’s business but yours who you follow and unfollow, or who you block. It’s literally just a dashboard curation technique. You are responsible for keeping yourself happy and safe online, so if you aren’t using them out of a sense of not wanting to offend anyone? Then you have failed interneting 101 and also have only yourself to blame for not using the literal actual tools at your disposal to not feel that way. The flipside is true of these buttons too, if someone blocks or unfollows you that’s their choice. You don’t always get to know why, but you do get to focus on... not focusing on it. Nothing you can do anyway, it’s not your choice who does it and you can’t force them to change their minds anyway. Hey what’s that? Oh it’s Personal Responsibility again, here to save the day and remind you to learn it please and thank you. 

Oh and one last thing, if you have infinite scrolling on and you use desktop, turn it off. You’ll thank me. 

[oldmagpie]

number 5: tagging

Whether AO3 or Tumblr, tagging is so damn important it might as well be an unskippable box. Wish it was, really. So what is tagging, why tag and how do you tag?

I’m fairly sure I’m repeating not only myself but a thousand other exasperated people, including almost certainly the brilliant AO3tagoftheday account. But the simple answers are: 

Tagging is a list of individual search terms that are attributed to your work. Tag so that people can find your stuff who want to, and so people can avoid it who want to. Tag the things that are in your fic, and don’t tag things that aren’t. If it is useful to help someone find your fic or to know to avoid it, tag it. 

In more depth:

Tagging is your way of listing the things in the fic. Whether that be a pairing it covers, the genre, some tropes, elements of the plot or setting, or simply a good ramble. It can actually function as its own sort of blurb for the fic itself, giving an insight into the story that will happen at a glance. On AO3 there are distinct sections (pairing, characters, and ‘other tags’) which give you an outline for putting some things in, but there are some disagreements over what belongs where sometimes. I’ll cover that below in the how to.

Why tag? Because readers want to know what they’re getting into. They might be specifically searching for something they want to read, or they might just be curious and find your tags interesting and click where they might have passed by otherwise, or they may see a tag that contains something they very much don’t want to read and know to avoid it. Your tags are not there to trick people into reading your fic, they’re there to inform the reader what’s inside. It’s entirely unlike irl books, but the system is so useful that it has been growing in popularity with irl book readers, and there are sites you can look up a book and see its tags before buying, the same as some sites exist to do the same for films. 

How to tag is the thing people don’t seem to understand. It’s fairly simple once you get into it. Firstly you put the pairing, then the characters. Simple, right? Well, until you get into minor appearances and background relationships and the like. For these two you need to consider your readers. Someone searching the minor character tag will see your fic and read it, will they be pleased or disappointed that you were recommended to them to read and their character only appeared for a few lines? In that case put something along the lines of ‘cameo by X’ or ‘minor/background X’ in the ‘other tags’ section, so people can still see that it’s in there, but there won’t be any confusion about what the story is actually about. This goes for pairings as well. Other things to put in the tags, is the setting (the Alternate Universe: X tags are very extensive by now), the style or genre (or give a sense of this with other tags, list a few things like ‘first kiss’, ‘romance’ and ‘meet cute’ and people will know it isn’t a murder mystery), and then any notable elements. Is there a dog companion? Great! Tag them! A particular focus on food as a method of therapy? Tag it! Aliens? Tag! And that goes for warnings too. You don’t need to list everything out as a warning, someone might be looking for that kind of story. It isn’t putting people off or damning anyone that includes that thing to tag it, it’s simply a statement of content. Are there guns and warfare? Tag them! Unhealthy relationships? Tag! 

There are also what we might call main content warnings, which are right at the start. You have the option between ‘chose not to use’ which implies a fic could include any of the above but doesn’t want to disclose (and which a fic defaults to if you don’t pick any), ‘no warnings apply’ which tells a reader none of the above apply, or those above options, which range from character death to non consensual sex. You can also put these into the other tag section if you choose, why not double up? Tagging is all about being honest and on the safe side, for the sake of your readers. Don’t want angry comments? Tag properly. Want to be found by readers looking for your niche content? Tag! Want to be searchable down the line for someone with a list of search tags and filters a mile long? T a g.

This isn’t even a recommendation, it’s essentially an order. Tag your shit. Everyone benefits, especially you. 

[oldmagpie]

number 4: tumblr writing

Don’t do it. 

That’s basically my entire post, just don’t do it. I wrote exclusively on tumblr for a long time. It is a good warm up exercise, a good interactivity game, but it is not a writing platform. The algorithm that has been established does not reward writing. Users and interfaces are not optimised remotely for viewing or sharing writing. Read more exists and is imperfect. Tags are imperfect, often unsearchable. Making taglists and archive links is an unbelievable amount of work.  Likes are fine but people seem to hate them, and reblogs are the only valid thing ever apparently, but are not popular. Bullying people into reblogging things and shaming them, while being very on brand for tumblr post style, is pointless and righteous beyond belief. Much like in the last post: readers don’t owe you a fucking thing. Stop yelling at them to read better and find a site that is actually optimised for longform writing.

Sure, if you’re just writing for yourself, go for it. What it is good for is things like answering prompts for fun, or discussing things you’re working on. Warm up writing paragraphs, that kind of thing. Go wild with those. But I can’t seem to see a single person writing on tumblr that isn’t angry and disappointed with the engagement ‘problem’. Guys, learn how websites work. You wouldn’t post a multi-chapter fic on Youtube or Instagram. That’s not what they’re for. 

[oldmagpie]

number 3: rarepairs and going against the fandom norm

This one is sort of the baby of the previous two. The screaming temper tantrum cuckoo’s egg child. Gonna jump straight in here. 

So, here’s the maths. If readers only read what they want to read, and you only write to get engagement, then that equals... you writing using the popular tropes, genres, headcanons, and pairings.

But what if I’m not interested in those things? I hear you mournfully cry. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say it’s a genuine worry about finding a space in fandom, not an entitled ‘I’m not like other writers’ sort of perspective, which absolutely exists and is almost the sole reason for this post. If you’re the first one, well hey, then you’re a rarepair writer, just like me, and your own super special personal maths goes like this: readers only read what they want to read, and you only write what you want to write... so you will have less engagement, fewer kudos, comments, etc. Tadaa

But that’s unfair, I want people to like my stuff and love me 5ever and validate my every word! Yeah okay, personally I think that’s an incredibly childish temper tantrum to have, but it is a very human instinct. Luckily there’s only one solution you need to try, and that solution is... get over it. Genuinely. If you make a product that only appeals to a small consumer base, it won’t sell as well as something more widely desired. If you only sell crotched thongs you aren’t going to sell as many as someone’s plain white t-shirt. Indie movies get smaller revenue than big Hollywood blockbusters. Unfair isn’t the word, because it isn’t something that needs to be rebalanced, because it just is. Inequal is better, because yeah, it isn’t equal treatment, but nor is what you’re offering equal to something else.

But my story is so so so good and no one will try it and then they’d see and they’d be convinced because I’m magical and the best most talented writer ever and my new pair/headcanon is so legit and everyone else is a hater and stupid. Back to what I said in the first post, about how yeah, some people will try your stuff if they support your stuff already. Maybe not many, and maybe they’ll only try it once if they decide they don’t like it. But that’s not something you have any control over, and you have no right to demand it. If people do try your stuff, great! Maybe they’ll be a convert. Maybe they won’t. If no one will try it then build better relationships, idk. Be more likeable, write better, let people know exactly what they get with your work each time, so that they’ll give your new stuff a chance based on previous experience, even if the content isn’t quite the same. But always, always remind yourself that this is a bonus, a reward, not a right.

Interestingly this perspective on writing against fandom norm almost always comes from people who have previously written for big pairings and got a lot of engagement, who then suddenly switch track. Not always, sometimes it’s from people who really need to read my engagement post and get their heads on straight about that whole deal. But you, you who were fandom famous (whatever the fuck that means) and are now suffering from popular kid goes to uni and isn’t special anymore syndrome... Peeps. This isn’t school anymore. Your subscribers subscribed for the work you were putting out. Hammering this one home: They aren’t reading your stuff because they like you. They want the content you produce. If you suddenly change... why would they? You see this in modern content creators all the time, youtubers are among that crowd especially. Gabbie Hanna anyone? 

Manage your expectations. Understand why people read and engage. And then stop fucking complaining about a hot take or rarepair being unpopular. If it was popular it wouldn’t be a hot shitting rarepair, would it? If you so desperately want it to become a main pair, well good luck. I’m fairly sure I was clear in the engagement and readership posts that this all boils down to: you cannot make people do what you want them to do. So I say stop trying. Do what makes you happy for once, and maybe look for some validation in your real life. Or therapy. 

[oldmagpie]

number 2: engagement

I will deal with tumblr writing and engagement in a future post, that mess of angry rats that it is. Let’s talk about the bigger fish first, Archive Of Our Own.

I have some fantastic news for you all. Readers aren’t getting paid to read, right? Remember that from the last post? But guess what, writers aren’t getting paid to write, either! So how well a fic does... quite literally does not change your life in the slightest. You don’t get more money, or more publisher offers, or more awards. You just don’t, which is why writing because you just want to has to underscore all the other things always.

What about in fandom though??? It must have some effect on that!!! Well, no, not really. See, on AO3 there’s no algorithm to change how many people see your fic based on your engagement. That responsibility falls to tags, timing, and tags again. Yeah I said tags twice. They’re important, I’ll cover them at some point separately. Admittedly yes, there are ways to game the system a bit, to make sure you’re seen as much as possible, or increase your likelihood of engagement, but why? Really, truly, why? What do you actually benefit from the constant focus on making your stuff get bigger numbers? Are you improving your writing? Are you making more friends (which you might be, and if that’s the goal then maybe just have a think about quality over quantity and whether you actually want friends or just fans)? Are you cripplingly insecure and the only positive serotonin in your life comes from a 1000+ hits total? Which soon becomes 2000+, 5000+, and goes on and on forever until you’re never satisfied. 

But I want to become a Big Name In Fandom and be successful ugh you suck... Becoming a Big Name just ups the stakes on all of this, it never actually rewards you. The ‘success’ you are chasing is like being a popular kid. It won’t help you in your day to day life, it won’t make you money, it won’t make you a better person. It adds stress, and gives you a marker to never be able to fall under for fear of feeling unsuccessful. Which isn’t a thing. You can’t fail at fandom, but you also can’t win.

Engagement is addictive. Serotonin is addictive. Dopamine rushes are addictive. And if you live off it, pretty soon what gave you that rush isn’t enough anymore. And guess what, you fucked yourself. Because you can’t physically force people to engage, only optimise the conditions for them to choose to do so, and when your happiness is tied to the whims of hundreds or thousands of other individuals out there in the world living their own messy, unique lives, engaging or not engaging for any million number of tiny reasons on a given day, then you’re going to find yourself unhappy a whole lot, just by sheer statistical probability. What’s the betting slogan? When the fun stops, stop. When you aren’t being delighted by the fact that a single whole individual read your story, and perhaps even kudosed, and perhaps even commented, then have a break, have a kitkat, put the stats remover skin on and get over it. 

[oldmagpie]

number 1: readers

Hey guess what, readers don’t owe you their reading time. 

Yeah, that’s true, actually. 

This isn’t a post about ‘oh u gotta write for urself bb it’s healthierTM’ because that’s not always why we write. Don’t get me wrong, it should absolutely be the foundation of why we write. But validation is also important (and addictive), as is feedback. 

But! Just like you’re writing to gain something, whether it be kudos, concrit or just to improve your craft, guess what? Readers are reading to gain something too! They’re reading to escape reality for a while, to read about characters they wished had got together in that show they just watched, to explore backstories they never thought about, to pass the time, to get off, to exorcise some demons, etc. etc. They aren’t paid to read. They aren’t reading your stuff because they like you*. They’re reading it because in the moment they have the time or energy or desire to read, they want to read what you’ve put in your AO3 tags. 

Now, before I go any further let me point out right now: yes, there may be cases where someone does, in fact, read something of yours because they are a fan of your work, or even a friend. Let’s try and keep in mind that that is a gift, not an obligation, and it comes from a place of knowing the person’s work/reputation, and having a good enough relationship (for a given value of relationship, whether it be as a reader who doesn’t interact or a friend you talk to all the time) to both want to in the first place, and also then have the time, motivation and energy.

So, I’m sorry the world works this way, but liking your work doesn’t automatically mean they like you. And if they do like you? Great! Doesn’t mean they owe you their reading time. Learning to deal with that is part of becoming an adult, so good luck, and grow up. 

[oldmagpie]

So I think I officially reached my ‘adults behaving like children’ bullshit quota for... the rest of my life. 

To be fair, I’ve also been getting really close to my ‘teenagers behaving like children’ bullshit quota too, but that one I can hold off on for now.

[niccolos]

LUCA MARINELLI  Behind the Scenes of Diabolik

[carocchi]

My submission for The Old Guard Reverse Bang 2022 @theoldguardevents Thank you to the lovely @sholeh675 for choosing my art and writing this wonderful story - Turnabout !!! Please give her some love ♡

[oldmagpie]

oh ye of little faith. There are twenty-five, not ten.

Well lookit that! Okay then next guess, are more or less than half mine? I'm sure there have been more nonmine than I think that have snuck in, so I'm going with just under half 👀

[lfcrobbo]

what's the rarest pairing you've ever been into and how many works are in their ao3 tags

[weardes]

[cherubinas]

the old guard ominous end scene between booker and quynh makes you think something bad is about to go down but she was there to invite him for a vacation so 2 old 2 guard's opening scene they're both chilling at the beach with heart shaped sunglasses and cocktails (non alcoholic for him) and booker has a pomeranian wearing a little crown on his lap

[dtbird]

Quyhn does that thing Bond villains do and gives Booker a tour of her beautiful luxury yacht before she interrogates him (á la dunks him off the side of said yacht over and over until he tells here were the rest of the team are) But they get to the mini bar and it all spirals out of control because Booker is quite good at making cocktails and they are both quite good at drinking them. And at some point during the night, probably when she and Booker are lying side by side on the deck looking up at the stars and he's asking her if she thinks they are God's mistake, Quyhn realises he genuinely has no fucking clue as to where the others are and decides to just adopt him into her crew and go yachting around the medeterian while she figures out her next move.

and Nile keeps dreaming about them and having to report back to the others so every day it's like "they're playing mini golf" "I don't know where they are but think Booker was wearing Gucci slides" "they have a dog now" "they're at a karaoke bar" "they are both really bad at lobster fishing" "yes they still have the dog-"