rip

an old forgotten food blog

[ohbutwebestmakepeacewithit]

david shrigley

[robert-hadley]

[musicforyourplants]

[boy-matt-deactivated20181204]

*slams reblog*

[ariesaav]

Klezmer dolphins.

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I don’t know that I’ve reblogged anything faster in my entire tumblr life.  

[deadwithoutdata]

The one dancing and flailing at the end

[oldsnacknope]

Lemon Meat Sticks

Some call them “chicken skewers” but I prefer a good meat stick, don’t you? Despite what this underwhelming iPhone photo may imply, this is the best chicken marinade I’ve ever made. 

Ingredients

2 to 2.25 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breasts or thighs (I prefer thighs)

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

3 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice

3 tbsp fresh minced cilantro

1 tbsp minced fresh garlic

2 tsp grated ginger

1 tsp paprika

1 tbsp salt

A dash of soy sauce or apple cider vinegar or balsamic vinegar*

1/2 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp turmeric

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

You will also need

Wooden skewers

Directions

Dice raw chicken into 2 inch cubes and place into a large ziplock bag. Pour all other ingredients into the ziplock bag and marinate for 1 hour. Once marinated, skewer the chicken and bake at 475 oven for 25 minutes.

[oldsnacknope]

Just Banana Bread

Ingredients

1/2 cup of softened butter

1 cup of brown sugar

2 room temperature eggs

4 over ripe mashed bananas 

1 + 1/2 cups of flour

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

1 teaspoon of cinnamon 

1 cup of fresh chopped walnuts (optional)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350º. In a standing mixer, cream together butter

and sugar. Add eggs, crushed bananas, and vanilla to the mixer, stir until combined. Sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Add to banana mixture, mix until just combined, do not over mix. Pour into greased and floured loaf pan.

Bake for 55 minutes.

[oldsnacknope]

Sugar Free Coconut Milk Ice Cream - 2 Ways!

Generally speaking, I don’t eat sugar.

Combine ingredients thoroughly (I recommend whisking)

Churn together in your ice cream maker.

That’s it! Your ice cream will likely start to look like soft serve after about 10-20 minutes in the ice cream maker. At this point, pour it into some tupperware and leave in the freezer for a few hours. My two favorite types of ice cream are chocolate and cinnamon.

Sugar Free Chocolate Ice Cream

1 (13.5 fl oz) can of coconut milk

1/4 cup of coca powder

1/3 cup of stevia 

A pinch of salt

Sugar Free Cinnamon Ice Cream

1 (13.5 fl oz) can of coconut milk

1 teaspoon of vanilla

1 tbs of cinnamon

1/3 cup of stevia

a pinch of salt

Incidentally, this is also a vegan recipe.

[oldsnacknope]

Soft Peanut Butter Cookies

I feel like peanut butter cookies are the cookie you get at the coffee shop when they’re sold out of chocolate chip cookies. The dry, hard as a rock, frisbee like ones that crumble in your mouth and make you desperately thirsty. I feel like the only people who want peanut butter cookies are the same people who order bran muffins. Obviously, I’m not a fan of peanut butter cookies....unfortunately, my Dad is. So I made it my mission to make soft, delicious peanut butter cookies. These cookies have the consistency of a sugar cookie and are very moist. I used chopped mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups but in the past I’ve used Reese's chips to equally tasty results!

Ingredients

1 cup of creamy peanut butter

1 cup of packed brown sugar

1 cup of white sugar

1 cup of softened butter

2 eggs

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 1/2 cups of white flour

2 cups of mini chopped Mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Directions

Preheat oven at 350 degrees. Cream the butter, peanut butter, white sugar and brown sugar together in a standing mixer. Add the eggs to the mixer. Add the baking soda, powder, and vanilla extract. Once well combined, sift in the flour. Add the mini chopped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups into mixture. Roll into 1 inch balls and place on a lined cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes.

[oldsnacknope]

New York Times Classic Brownies - Review

I had some friends over recently and decided to try out the New Classic Brownies Recipe from the New York Times. Overall, I’m going to give it 8/10. I made a slight change to the recipe by adding brown sugar in lieu of a little white sugar, but otherwise did exactly as the recipe directed. My guests seemed to like them but despite doing an admirable job making an ice water bath, the edges of the brownies came out like a rock. Also, I would note that the tin foil gave the edges of the brownies a very weird shape since it’s impossible to make it lay flat in an 8x8 pan. These brownies are also exceptionally crumbly and the batter has the consistency of Elmer’s glue. In my not-so-humble opinion, I think with some tinkering this could be a great recipe but it needs a little work.

Ingredients

8 tablespoons unsalted butter

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate

1 cups of white sugar

¼ cup of brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon salt

2 eggs

½ cup all-purpose flour

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line an 8-inch-square metal baking pan with foil. In top of a double boiler set over barely simmering water, or on low power in a microwave, melt butter and chocolate together. Stir often, and remove from heat when a few lumps remain. Stir until smooth.

Stir in sugar, vanilla and salt. Stir in eggs one at a time, followed by flour. Stir until very smooth, about 1 minute, until mixture pulls away from sides of bowl. Add nuts, if using. Scrape batter into prepared pan and bake 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare a water bath: Pour ice water into a large roasting pan or kitchen sink to a depth of about 1 inch. Remove pan from oven and place in water bath, being careful not to splash water on brownies. Let cool completely, then lift out and cut into 1-inch squares or wrap in foil.

[oldsnacknope]

Chocolate Malt Cake with Chocolate Malt Frosting

I’m fucking obsessed with malt so maybe I’m biased but THIS IS SO RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING GOOD.

Ok, I’m 100% sure I’ve said this before but this is the perfect chocolate cake recipe. It brought me out of my (almost) year long blogging hiatus; it’s that important. You don’t taste the malt in it at all but it adds a super moist and rich texture which made me almost more excited about the cake than the frosting (an anomaly, I can assure you). 

The frosting however is VERY malty and delicious. The original recipe called for 349234235 cups of powdered sugar and it was astonishing so I halved it and it was still a little too sweet. *I edited the recipe to reflect this necessary change. 

I made this cake for the joint birthday of the lovely Laura Beth and the exuberant Charles and they both cleaned their plates. I couldn’t recommend this recipe enough. It was simple, delicious, and unique. I will definitely use it again. 

Ingredients

Chocolate Malt Cake (makes three 9 inch layers)

4 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

2 1/2 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups of unsweetened cocoa powder

3 teaspoons of baking soda

2 teaspoon of baking powder

1 teaspoon of salt

2 cup of milk

2 cup of malted milk powder

2 cup of vegetable oil

6 large eggs

2 cups of sour cream

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

Chocolate Malt Frosting

2 cups of butter, softened

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream

2 cups malted milk powder

3 to 4 cups confectioners' sugar

Directions

Cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour 3 (9-inch) cake pans.

Sift together flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.

In a standing mixer with a whisk attachment combine milk and malted milk powder, stirring to dissolve. Add oil, eggs, and flour mixture to the mixer and beating at medium speed until smooth. Add sour cream and vanilla, beating just until combined. Pour batter evenly into prepared pans, and bake for 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Let cool in pans for 10 minutes. Remove cakes from pans and let cool completely on wire racks.

Frosting: To make the frosting, in a standing mixer beat room temperature butter and cocoa powder at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy.

In a small bowl, combine cream and malted milk powder, stirring to dissolve. Add cream mixture to butter mixture, beating at low speed to combine. Gradually beat in confectioners' sugar until smooth. Spread frosting between layers and on top and sides of cake. Garnish with malted milk balls, if desired.

Recipe adapted from Bakergirl.

[oldsnacknope]

Rice Krispie Treat

I love Rice Krispie treats, they’re the ultimate guilty pleasure. They’re not creative or pretty or sexy, they’re just crunchy sugar rectangles. Sometimes, that’s all I’m looking for in a treat.

I feel a little embarrassed trying to write a recipe for Rice Krispie treats, it feels like trying to write a recipe for making a bowl of cereal. It’s more of an arranging of ingredients. So, I guess this is just a proportional suggestion. Rice Krispies are EASY to make but the measurements are important, otherwise you can end up with dry Krispies and no one wants that.

Anyway, if you too are in the throes of a meltdown and want a sweet tray of hormone quenching sugar rectangles; this is the recipe for you.

Ingredients

4 tablespoons of butter

1 (10 oz) bag of marshmallows (mini’s melt faster)

5 cups of Rice Krispies

Directions

Melt the butter and marshmallows together. I usually do this in a pot over low heat but you could conceivably do this in the microwave.

Once thoroughly combined, add the cereal. Stir.

Line a 9x13 inch pan with wax paper and pour the cereal/marshmallow into the pan. To flatten the cereal without gluing it to your skin, I would recommend buttering your hands. I realize this is gross but trust me, it works. Allow it to cool for about 30 minutes before cutting it into squares.

[oldsnacknope]

Vanilla Pudding

Ingredients

2 cups of whole milk

1/2 cup of white sugar

3 tablespoons of corn starch 

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract 

1 tablespoon of butter

Directions

Make sure your whole milk is COLD when you start otherwise you will end up with cornstarch lumps. Pour your milk into a sauce pan, add the sugar and stir until incorporated. Then add the corn starch, one tablespoon at a time while whisking constantly. Add the salt, vanilla, and butter to the saucepan. Turn on the stove to medium heat until bubbles for at the edges. Stir slowly until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Remove from heat, pour into serving dishes, and refrigerate. 

[oldsnacknope]

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie

This is it. This is the chocolate chip cookie recipe I’ve been trying to perfect ever since I started baking. Would ya look at that, I finished something I started for once, good for me. I was really surprised with how aesthetically pleasing these turned out, they look hot. They’re exactly how chocolate chip cookies are supposed to look and taste. 

Makes about 20 cookies

Ingredients

1 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup of white sugar

3/4 cup of unsalted melted butter

1 egg, room temperature

1 egg yolk, room temperature 

1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

1 + 1/4 cup of white flour

3/4 cup of cake flour

3/4 teaspoon of baking soda

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 tablespoon of malted milk powder

2 cups of semi sweet chocolate chips

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a standing mixer, combine melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugars. Add in the egg, mix, then add the egg yolk, and mix until combined. Then add in the vanilla.

Sift together your flour, baking soda, salt, and malted milk powder. Gradually add it to the standing mixer and combine. Fold in the chocolate chips.

Line your baking sheets with parchment, and scoop out two tablespoon sized balls onto your sheets. Bake for 13 minutes, until slightly golden.

[mothurs]

friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it’s the stress

[oldsnacknope]

Smitten Kitchen’s Birthday Cake: Review

My step dad turned 70 this past Valentines Day! Yay Stan! I decided to pull out the big guns and use Smitten Kitchen’s Best Birthday Cake recipe. I’ve tried millions (ok, like 12) of her recipes to consistent success so I figured it was a safe bet. I loved the actual cake; it has that famous ‘yellow cake’ flavor with a much more adult feel to it. I’ll definitely use it again. The original recipe calls for 2 & 1/4 cups of sour cream; this gave me an understandable amount of concern. Sour cream is well, sour, who wants sour frosting? Ultimately, I decided that the queen knew best and dutifully marched down to the grocery store to get sour cream. I ended up using 2 cups of sour cream (I didn’t want to buy two containers) and, unsurprisingly, it tasted like shit. I guess I was expecting the sour cream flavor to be hidden under the 1/2 cup of corn syrup. I was wrong, so so so wrong. I proceed to add a stick of butter and a cup of powdered sugar. It softened the sourness (sort of) but when my step dad asked if the frosting had orange extract in it, I just lied and said yes. Confessing that I’d been conned into using sour cream as a base for a chocolate frosting sounded too stupid to say out loud. 

So, my overall review?

Cake: Excellent Frosting: Gtfo 

I decided to leave the frosting recipe where it was, the unedited yellow cake recipe is bellow.

Yellow Layer Cake 

Ingredients

4 cups plus 2 tablespoons cake flour 

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 + 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda

1 teaspoon of salt

2 sticks of unsalted butter, softened

2 cups of white sugar

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

4 large eggs, at room temperature

2 cups of buttermilk, well-shaken

Directions Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter two 9-inch round cake pans and line with circles of parchment paper, then butter parchment. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl. In a large mixing bowl, beat butter and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium speed until pale and fluffy, then beat in vanilla. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well and scraping down the bowl after each addition. At low speed, beat in buttermilk until just combined (mixture will look curdled). Add flour mixture in three batches, mixing until each addition is just Incorporated. Spread batter evenly in cake pan, then rap pan on counter several times to eliminate air bubbles. (I like to drop mine a few times from two inches up, making a great big noisy fuss.) Bake until golden and a wooden pick inserted in center of cake comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool in pan on a rack 10 minutes, then run a knife around edge of pan. Invert onto rack and discard parchment, then cool completely, about 1 hour.

Recipe by smittenkitchen

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Goat Brownies

I’m a bit of an oddity, I’m super picky when it comes to brownies. I don’t like my brownies too sweet, too chocolatey, too cakey, or too gooey (I’m so easy to please). These brownies are none of those things and (bonus) a little tangy from the goat milk yogurt. I absolutely love them. I think the tanginess is a welcome addition to the boring sweetness of brownies buuuuuut everyone else hates them! So, proceed with caution. 

Ingredients

3 ounces of unsweetened chocolate, chopped

1/2 cup of unsalted butter

1 + 1/3 of a cup of white sugar

2 eggs, room temperature

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1/4 of a teaspoon of salt 

2 tablespoons of goat milk yogurt

2/3 cup of white flour

Directions

Preheat oven to 375. Melt the chocolate and butter together, over the stove or in the microwave. Allow to cool slightly. In a standing mixer combine sugar, eggs, vanilla, yogurt, and salt. Once well combined, add the chocolate mix and stir. Then, add the white flour. Line an 8x8 square baking pan with parchment paper and spoon the mix into the pan. Bake for 40 minutes.

[oldsnacknope]

Baked Cinnamon Donut

My Mom always told me not to go to the grocery store while you’re hungry, otherwise you end up buying twice as much shit as you intended. What she neglected to mention was going to the grocery store if you’ve got an itch to bake something is also a bad idea, especially if you don’t know what you want to bake yet. I have pounds of cocoa powder (what if we ran out?), hundreds of holiday themed cupcake liners (god why), and a lot of random bakeware that was on sale at Safeway. Like a donut tray. I’ve had this donut tray for well over a year. I was staring at it this morning, bitterly wondering how much money I’d wasted on it, when I finally caved and decided to use it. Generally, I don’t like donuts but these may have tipped the scales for me a little. 

Ingredients

3/4 cup of white flour

2 tablespoons of cornstarch

1/3 cup of white sugar

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg

1/3 cup of half and half (or buttermilk)

1 egg, room temperature

1 tablespoon of melted butter

1 teaspoon of vanilla

For topping:

3 tablespoons of melted butter

1/2 cups of white sugar &1 teaspoon of cinnamon, combined

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375. Sift together flour, cornstarch, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. In a standing mixer, mix the half and half, egg, butter, and vanilla. Once well combined add the dry ingredients and combine. Pour the batter into a ziplock bag and cut off a corner. Squeeze the mix into a well greased donut pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes. While still warm, brush both sides of the donut with melted butter, then dip it into the cinnamon sugar.

[oldsnacknope]

Cardamom Mini Cakes with Honey Buttercream Frosting

I made mini cakes today. Why? I saw a proper food blogger doing something similar and I wanted to be hip and adorable too. So, I put on my most expensive flannel, put my hair into a meticulously sloppy bun, and had at it. Unsurprisingly, they turned out offensively cute. I was surprised how simple it was too. Make a cake, get a large cookie cutter, punch four holes into your cake, and frost accordingly. Your dinner guests will all fawn over how creative you are and you can modestly bask in the showers of compliments.

Cardamom Cake

Ingredients

1 + 3/4 cups of white sugar

2 + 1/2 cups of white flour

1 + 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda

1 + 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 + 1/2 teaspoons of salt

1 teaspoon of ground cardamom

2 large eggs, room temperature

1/2 cup of butter, room temperature

1/2 cup of plain goat milk yogurt

1/2 cup of canola oil

1 + 1/2 tablespoons of vanilla extract

3/4 cup of HOT water

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease one 9 inch round cake pans and line the bottom with parchment paper. In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients. In a standing mixer combine the eggs, butter, yogurt, oil, and vanilla. Add the dry ingredients to the mixer and stir until well combined. Once thoroughly combined, add the water. Pour it into the prepared pan and bake for 30 to 45 minutes. Allow it to cool for 10 minutes in the pan before removing it.

Honey Buttercream

Ingredients

1/2 cup of butter, room temperature 

3 tablespoons of honey 

1 cup of powdered sugar 

a pinch of salt

a splash of half & half as needed

Directions

In a standing mixer, cream the butter and honey until smooth then add the powdered sugar and salt. Add some some half & half until it reaches the right consistency. Honey can have very different levels of sweetness depending on the brand. If it ends up too sweet, get liberal with the salt.

recipe adapted from mynameisyeh.