Fire and Ash

I am fire. I am rebirth. I am.

[neilsonrivers-blog]

Neilson made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, looking up to spot the rest of the camp some odd distance away before returning his attention to the sharpened blade resting in his lap. Peering behind at her offering, he grasped the hilt and carefully took it from her to glance at the blade. Dull. “Make it tight, now. Won’t be stoppin’ in the heat of battle for you to braid it pretty again,” he teased, digging a flint rock from his pockets.

[olenarivers-blog]

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, the smile evident in her voice as she held the strands taunt in one hand as she gathered some more hair from the side of his head to twist and braid into the main. “I know if I mess up you’ll just have Ma fix it. Everyone knows the only clevers in my fingers is with a bow.”  

Aw hells, she’d forgotten to sharpen her own knife and as she watched her da search for what she was pretty sure was a rock, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would be just as forgetful later on. For a moment, she wasn’t too certain she could match up to him. She had a head for battle, to survive and help others survive, but... there were other things she suddenly realized she might not have the abilities for.

She realized she’d stopped preparing his hair in her thoughts and hurried to continue on. “How’d you balance it all?” She asked him. “Bein’ leader and father?”

[neilsonrivers-blog]

“Again?” Sharp, but of course he didn’t move. Neil may come back from battle looking like a storm, but that didn’t mean he had to go into it looking like one. Eyeing a knife in his hand, he glanced back to Ol. “Hand me that knife by your side, will ‘ya?”

[olenarivers-blog]

“Well if you’d stop movin’.” She retorted, crossing a strand of hair over another. Again.

This was the time to tell him. She probably wouldn’t get another moment alone with him afterwards, not until after all this, but she was hesitating - how could she even begin to bring this up?

At his request though, she felt for her knife at her side, handing it to him hilt first. “Here.” 

[theoprophet]

Theo leaned into the familiar weight, Feeling their own braids fall from where they were, onto Olena’s face, “We cannot all be the Sun, Olena.” They tutted, and let their hands fret at her hairline, picking at small soft hairs, tucking them into the braided crown.

“I’ve not seen anything but the king and his men takin’ the piss in weeks, Ol’” Theo reminded, “I know I am not trained, nor can I see, so I am not meant for fighting, But I can too, hold my own. I hate to be trapped back here alone, what with children who will not listen and the injured who I cannot heal.”

[olenarivers-blog]

Sunlight streamed through flaxen strands, a broken halo around Theo. “Trapped?” The word dug in her skin like a thorn and she rolled out of Theo’s lap to face them.

“What would you do, Theo?” she asked, quietly, not patronizing but honestly asking. “We cannot lose you, not just because of your Sight but because you are so much to everyone here. What would we do without you? Name me anything you can do that I know you will not die and you can go.”

[theoprophet]

“Dunno.” Theo said, tugging a strand of her hair harder, so her head tipped back. They couldn’t see her face, nor confirm that this worked, but leaned down anyway, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’ve not seen a lot lately.”

“You take your time. I only wish to come with, I feel useless from afar, no matter what I see,” The busied their hands back in her hair to keep the last words from slipping out. Illias would not let them fight, there was no way Olena would okay it.

[olenarivers-blog]

“Oh,” she said, finding herself tipped back into Theo’s lap. Her mouth curved in a smile Theo couldn’t see but they could for sure hear in a complete mockery of high society, “Have I ever told you you look so fetching from every angle?”

She didn’t move from Theo’s lap but her face fell immediately. “We need you here.” She said firmly. “You’re not useless, your sight is a gift, you are helping us more than you could imagine. And, if I could be so selfish, you are my light at the end of this very long, very dark tunnel.” 

[antonyvitello]

“They hardly sleep unless Alycia and I are in the room, we’ve moved them both to be closer, as if we needed another reason too.” He turned his eyes back to the girls, smiling as Nettie and Peyton rolled around on the soft grass, their laughter ringing out loud in clear on the cloudy day. “They do not hurt, if I have any say in it. Not yet. They are young.”

“I do.” He said, and looked back to her, “Alycia, should she take the time, but I rarely allow that. She has much more important things to do.”

[olenarivers-blog]

She nodded. “You’re a good father, Antony.” The hint of a smile was evident in her voice. “You’ll do right by them.” There wasn’t much outside the cover of darkness, the bedroom, that Olena saw with Antony. Only one side most of the time, glimpses of others in the rare meetings in the sun outside the walls of the castle. She was... happy to see this of him, however short it was. 

“Don’t deny Alycia that all the time.” She came to stand beside him. “ You could burden her more than help her.” 

[illiasrivers-blog]

“I’ll still manage to hit more than you. I’d gladly place a bet on that.” He reached forward to ruffle her own locks, not quite enough to mess up the intricate braids. “It’s a good thing we’re on the same side, you know.” 

[olenarivers-blog]

She gently smacked his shoulder. “What a load of shit,” she laughed, “you know better than to be tellin’ stories, Illias Rivers. Now sit ya arse still and let me take care of you one last time.”

[theoprophet]

“That’s why I made her teach me instead of you.” Theo ribbed, smirking as they looped another flower into her hair, fingers finding the stem, which they tucked back into her hair. “Galen seems promising, If I look,” they said, but then sighed, lightly. 

“I am always alright with you near, Olena.” They said, fingers moving slow and carefully as they braided around the crown of her head, careful to tuck the excess locks back around, so they would not fall into her face during battle, “But come morning, you will be gone again.”

[olenarivers-blog]

“Har har.” She grinned, taking a piece of long grass and sticking it in her mouth. She still didn’t know how to feel about Galen. Some days she felt she might be too unfair to him. Other days she didn’t care. “Does this mean Galen survives?”

Olena found herself smiling again, a faint heat in her cheeks that was suddenly unimportant at Theo’s words. “But I’ll come back. I always come back, don’t I?”

[antonyvitello]

“I don’t think I could, even if I had it in me too.” He told her, smiling slightly. He kept his back to her, a sign of trust, but listened carefully.

“They’ve lost enough in their short lives. I do all I can to be sure they are safe and happy. I’d die, easily, before I let harm come to them.” Antony said to her, and it was true. All he had left in these days was his girls. His own, born of his wife, and Nettie, who had come to him as Astrid had come to his father. 

“They are my stars and my sky.”

[olenarivers-blog]

“You’re there when they need you? When they’re hungry, thirsty, cold? When they wake from nightmares, when they hurt?” Her eyes slid to his back, looking him over. 

“And who takes care of you?”

[illiasrivers-blog]

“Have your braiding skills improved then?” 

[olenarivers-blog]

“Alright, fine, do it yourself,” she teased, giving a sharp tug on his hair. “And have your hair in your face, miss a target. But I mean, your aim is shite whether your hair is in your face or not, so.” 

[theoprophet]

“No, let me.” Theo protested, fingers running throw the bright red hair to fight the loose braid, “I’m supposed to do it.” They reminded, hands quickly tightening the loops, before tucking it back, carefully finding a flower and weaving it into the next braid. “It won’t be as good, but at least you’ll have’m” They said quietly, unseeing eyes looking at something that only they could see.

[olenarivers-blog]

Olena’s hands stopped mid-reach as she smiled, her hands dropping in her lap. “What do you mean they won’t be as good? You’re the best braider of us all. Well, maybe Ma is better, but no one can do better than her.” 

The gentle tugs on her hair sent a wave of gooseflesh down her arms. “Are you alright, Theo?”

[olenarivers-blog]

“Wait, don’t move.”

“Let me fix the braid.”

[antonyvitello]

Antony hummed, recognizing her voice instantly, as if her bright hair hadn’t given her away. “I do not think it is wise for you to be here, Olena. We are at war, you and I, you know.” He said, voice soft.

But his children, she was right there. He watched as Nettie scooped up his little Peyton in her arms, Peyton’s blonde curls bouncing as Nettie spun her around, their dresses swirling around them. “No one should stay inside for too long.”

[olenarivers-blog]

“Our people are at war, there’s a difference. Besides, you won’t do anything to me.” She watched his children play, bright and beautiful in the light, and felt a strange longing.

Children were born free, taught to restrict themselves, hold themselves back, for others who were doing the exact same for the same purpose. Where did it get anyone?

“You’ll keep them safe, won’t you?” She asked, her eyes not straying from the little ones. “Not let anything come before them?”

[antonyvitello]

The light was terribly bright, and having stayed indoors much of the past month, Antony had grown used to drawn curtains and dim lights. However, it had been much too long since he had spent time with his children, so now he did. The garden was green and thick with flowers, he watched as the trees danced beneath the light weight of his children, tilting his head slightly to the side when he heard another join him. 

[olenarivers-blog]

Going unseen was a talent of Olena’s. And there were benefits to being the former mistress of the now disgraced king and queen, she knew where all the hidden holes were get inside.

She found him with his children, the little ones playing in the sunlight while he stood watch, the only dark spot in a sea of color. “They’re cute,” she said, coming to stand beside him. “Small ones shouldn’t be kept inside for too long, it’s not good for them.

[theoprophet]

r e s c u  e | theodore&

[theoprophet]

Theo wished they could see, wish they could see Olena now, their memories of her seemed so distant, constantly hazy. And the visions, they weren’t… The same. Theo missed Olena’s bright red hair and her grey eyes and her sharp smile, a small comfort before the Sight had taken over their vision. Keeping her hand knotted into her hair, Theo shook their head just slightly, “My Olena, I will not leave, not until my time comes, not until you are ready.”

“A life for a life. Take his before he takes me from you. I do not want to go.” They said, voice drifting off, almost a whisper, a sigh. Any of them knew, they wildlings, that death could strike at any moment, But not for us, Theo always thought. Olena and them, they were forever. In every vision, there she was, and Theo, Theo could see. And yet, once those weeks in the dungeons, Once Pierce had spoken… Theo could not see much of themself anymore. 

“I am here now. Olena I am here now.”

Injured? Theo slowly detached themself from Olena, touching the slowly drying blood at matting the back of their head, their red stained fingers, “I have no injury, Olena, Only the blood of a traitor.” They leaned close again, “My limbs ache and my head pounds, but I am where I am supposed to be, my heart beats and my blood flows.”

[olenarivers-blog]

Olena couldn’t lose Theo. They were a part of her family and even the idea of losing them was - unbearable. “Tell me who it is. Tell me so I can make them pay.” So I can keep you safe. 

Her parents had each other, Illias had Galen, Uncle had Ashlynn. Olena had Theo. She couldn’t lose Theo. 

When Theo tried to sit up, Olena was immediately helping, saying, “Be careful, don’t hurt yourself.” But Theo said there was no injury. “None?” Immediately, Olena was parting their hair to check for wounds, feelings along their back and ribs and stomach, checking their thighs to be sure there really was no harm in the worst spots. “Oh, thank Gods,” she breathed, wrapping her arms tight around Theo. ”I can’t... I can’t bear,” relief and fear mixed in a whirl, pulling Olena in different directions as she held Theo close like she was trying to pull Theo into her body, the only way she could keep them safe. She turned her face into Theo’s and kissed them, her lips catching the corner of Theo’s mouth. 

[theoprophet]

r e s c u  e | theodore&

[theoprophet]

“I will not leave you, no, not yet, my Olena.” Theo let their hand slide along her face, head shaking softly, “Olena, be strong now, you are mine, my warrior.” They reminded her, pulling themselves up further to press their forehead against hers, “Warriors do not need to fret about little things like stupid boys who betray us, little things like prophets who cannot see the sun. I was to take care of it, I saw him and his mouth telling the king of our plans.” They told Olena, knotting a hand in her hair to keep close.

“He came to speak his stupid words at us, so I ripped him up and made him pay. He lives still but you will fix that I know.” Theo said with a small nod, “I wanted to be brave, Olena, my Olena, I wanted to be brave like you,” They told her, and then, Theo, softly and hesitantly, ran their hand down to Olena’s neck, where they knotted their fingers back into her hair and pressed in close.

“Olena I am but a seer, a prophet, there are no tears for me,” Theo’s voice was but a whisper, “I know I should not have left so sudden, in the night without you, without da or Illias, but he was here and I had to make him pay, Olena. A life for a life. I am no good at taking lives, but I still see him die, I still see me leaving you.”

For moment, Theo was silent, “I do not want to leave you.”

[olenarivers-blog]

“Not yet? Not ever.” It might have come out a little harsher than she meant. “You’re not going nowhere, not without me.” Her eyes closed against the new onslaught of tears, burning behind her lids. She could feel Theo’s hand in hers, their pulse beneath their skin, their words catching in Olena’s hair as they pressed foreheads, life still flowing through them strong and still Olena was terrified this would be taken away. 

She both heard and didn’t hear what Theo was telling her - Olena would hunt this bastard down and make him pay, there was no doubt, she’d burn the entire kingdom to ash for Theo alone, but she couldn’t think about that right now, not with her little bird alive and breathing and going to be alright (they had to be alright) and Olena had to clean them up and get them back to bed and they were alive. 

“I’ll take care of him,” she swore through her teeth as Theo’s fingers knot in her hair, “I’ll make him pay, I’ll do it, Theo, but please, let me get you back. Let me see how injured you are, let me take care of you.”

Theo’s voice was hardly heard above the breeze but it still slapped Olena -- that they thought - they weren’t - “No.” She snarled. “You’re can’t leave me. You won’t leave me, I won’t allow it. I won’t let you.” 

[theoprophet]

r e s c u  e | theodore&

[theoprophet]

The sun was hot and Theo swore they could almost see red, as if they could see behind closed eyelids. But no, their eyes were open and the sun streamed down unto unseeing eyes. But a familiar scent…

Everything seemed to turn dizzyingly fast, and Theo, for a moment, felt ill. Someone was there, someone good. Someone they trusted. 

Right?

Trust. Trust was good and the scent was good, it was home. Theo knew it. Their brows knitted together as they pushed past the dull ache in their head, the lack of sleep that haunted them, the nothingness that slowly faded way into a voice that made their bones settle and their muscles relax.

Theo blinked, and took a sharp breath in, reaching up to find who it was that had moved them from their shady spot under a tree. Finding smooth skin and thick hair, Theo felt lower, finding a notch, a scar. Theirs. Olena.

Theo’s voice came out rough, likely from all the screaming they had done to the Stupid boy, “Olena,” They said softly, hands going down down down until they linked with her own, “Not yet, Olena. I am here.” 

Pulling themself closer to her, Theo half sat, running their free hand through the bloody mess of tangles that was their hair, half aware that their hands were caked in blood that didn’t belong to them. “I didn’t get him. I almost did, but he got away.” They said, voice low, angry. “Stupid boy and his stupid mouth. He did not kill me yet, but the war has yet to begun and now you must kill him with no mercy.” They told Olena, hand leaving hers to find her face, “A hand for a hand, Olena. A life for a life.”

[olenarivers-blog]

Theo took a gasping breath as if the Gods had heard her prayers. In overwhelming relief, Olena slumped over Theo, tears accompanying the violent sobs. “I thought you were dead,” she cried, turning her face into Theo’s seeking hand. “I thought you were lost to me forever, why did you leave?” She took Theo’s hand in a crushing grip, needing to know that they were alright, that they couldn’t slip away. 

Their voice was so rough and Olena hated herself. They sounded awful and Olena hadn’t known what had happened to them, much less that they had even been gone and she was next in line to watch over all their people and keep them safe and she couldn’t even keep Theo from harm.

Sniffling, she sat back up. “Got who? Who did this to you?” Her relief, her fear, was quickly turning sharp and hot, hatred that was Olena’s closest friend. “Tell me who he is, give me a name, anything you can remember, I’ll kill him myself, slit his throat and spill his blood, drain him for doing this to you.” Her words were harsh and broken with tears, her free hand taking Theo’s reaching hand and kissing their palm. “What happened? Why did you leave? Why didn’t you wake me? Theo,” tears broke her words and she couldn’t stop them. 

[theoprophet]

r e s c u  e | theodore&

The ground was cold. Cold and wet and everything was dark.The footsteps of the dumb knight had long since retreated, and sound flooded through Theo’s ears, a white noise of water, the animals of the forest, and deafening nothingness. Their back ached. There was a warmth spreading around the base of their head, warm and wet. Blood, probably, but they couldn’t tell if it was their own. Theo took another breath, listening to it rattle around their rib cage like something was let loose in their lungs, and let it out, softly, softly, softly. The visions played distantly in their head, all grey and washed out and faded, far away. Part of Theo wondered if the blood was their own, would they die here? If not, maybe something wilder than them would get to them before the others had a chance to look. 

Between the cool night breeze on their skin, and the ever so slight warmth of the morning sun, years seemed to pass. Theo drifted in and out of a hazy sleep, wanting for their warm grass bedding with Olena and the snores of the men distantly lulling them into a comfortable sleep. 

It had to have been days when the sound of footsteps, close footsteps, right by their head footsteps, snapped them out of the haze.

[olenarivers-blog]

Something wasn’t right. She wasn’t completely awake, aware enough that it was still dark enough without a sound that would warn of danger... meaning she still had time to sleep. Rolling over, Olena threw her arm out for Theo -- and found dirt. Blearily, she picked her head up to squint in the dark grey of early morning, thinking they had just rolled further away in their sleep. 

But Theo wasn’t there. Adrenaline surged through her as she scrambled to her feet, scanning the surrounding area, the morning mist layering over her family, but Theo was nowhere in sight as the panic set in. 

They had to have left on their own, she tried to rationalize as she stepped over her sleeping brother. No one could have gotten past any of them and even if they had, Theo wouldn’t have gone so quietly. But where the fuck did they go?

Bow in hand and an arrow at the ready, Olena took off down the path with the flat laid grass, finding a few strands of Theo’s hair caught on a tree branch. 

Theo was fine, Theo was fine, Theo was fine. Nothing had happened, they’d gotten up to do something and couldn’t find their way back was all. Olena would find them and bring them back and they’d go back to sleep and that would be enough.

Until she found Theo sprawled on the ground, black blood glinting red in the weak morning sun, matting their blonde hair, the streaks of light reflecting in their eyes and truly, Olena’s heart stopped as she thought them dead. 

Skidding to her knees, Olena dragged Theo into her lap. “Theo, my Theo, please, please, Theo.” They couldn’t be dead, they were just there settling down to sleep beside Olena and Olena hadn’t thought anything of it, had taken it for granted that they’d been there and now Theo-, Gods please please please don’t leave her, don’t take Theo from her.