shit my friends say as starters: round 2
“Why would you plant your COTTON over LAVA?”
“Why would you put ice cubes in PEE?!”
“You can’t get human remains at Goodwill!”
“YOU JUST SAID WE LIVE IN A GIANT NIPPLE!”
“You used to be all whips, ballgags, and leather, and now you’re just leather. And not even the right kind!”
“The cheese sticks have to come from SOMEWHERE.”
“I have to watch every video with an American Woodcock in it.”
“Excuse you, I like capsacin, but not on my DICK!”
“Can you imagine being pepper sprayed in the dick?”
“I DON’T HAVE ONE, I WAS BORN IN PHILADELPHIA!”
“So, like… should I just leave, and go drink vodquila?”
“SINCE WHEN WERE YOUR GONADS IN YOUR POCKET?”
“Hi, there, friend, I’m gonna give you hope, and I’m gonna FUCKING EAT IT!”
*inhales deeply* “How do you delete people?”
“Just shove a recorder up my ass and fart the national anthem.”
“Wait a minute…THESE ARE JUST COTTON BALLS IN PETROLEUM JELLY!”
“We aren’t even full fucks, we’re just nuggets of fuck.”
“I’m not here for five minutes and we start talking about an ass in a casket!”
“HA HA! YOU WEREN’T EVEN PART OF THIS CONVERSATION AND I DRAGGED YOU IN!”
“It’s like mozzarella in lingerie.”
“No, _____, you’re not for people anymore.”
“i’M GONNA PLAY SOME TETRIS”
“What the flipflapfrickityfrackfripfrap FUCK”
“This is the woman that smacked her brother’s friend in the face with a dildo.”
theartofmadeline
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
titsay
yousharknotpass
