!!FAN MAIL/THOUGHTS, NOT REQUEST!!
So I've always liked your interpretation of Watari as having complicated (leaning negative) feelings toward L's Alpha
Because on the one hand it's hard to raise a person without at some point developing affection for them. So he does want L to be happy, of course he does. And he understands that since L is at the end of the day a person (strange but a person nonetheless), romance & courting & mating were all very likely if not inevitable.
But on the other, it's tough, bc Watari was trying to raise & assist the world's greatest detective, not some guy. And it's hard to fit all the things an Alpha represents- courting, mating, love, being linked to any one person, reducing the ambiguity even just this much- into the image Watari had in his head of his work's result.
And on a secret third level, the Alpha is an uncomfortable reminder that L is human. That L could have had a normal life and, because of Watari, never will. That L can die and feel pain and isn't an infallible unstoppable force.
I just bet it makes Watari all sorts of uncomfortable to think about. (Which, good. I love L the way he is, weird life included, but Watari made a lot of choices an adult responsible for a child should not make and I can't pretend I don't think it had an impact.)
And you portray all of this so well but in such casual ways, and it's just in one fic. I reread it over and over all the time bc it's just that good.
It inspired my own writing on the subject. Honestly I didn't have any of the above thoughts until I read your fic and now it colors every rewatch of Death Note.
I know it was like forever ago and also that you're not as active/open to discussion about it these days but I had to say this at some point. Your fic was so good it permanently changed the way I interact with canon & I think about it way more than a normal amount.
Have a good day and pls don't throw rocks at me lol <3
Im so glad someone was picking up on what I was putting down with Watari. I'm so glad to see that other people are seeing what I see when I rewatch Death Note.
The older I get, the more I look back on the things I consumed as a child and I can see things as an adult that change how I view characters, especially adult characters. I was also a child who suffered consequences of adult actions. Both viewpoints collide when I write about adults in fanon works.
Watari fucked up. And not little mistakes that can be passed off as a parenting slip-up that can be corrected. Watari and Roger both fucked up a bunch of kids and we don't even know what others may be out there in the canon universe and I know for a fact they'd be sooo resistant and negative if those kids had someone who broke them free, even just a little bit.
Watari made 'L' a moniker, a title (as seen with Near becoming L). But L is a person who has never been anything but L. But 'L' is a title not a person. I think Watari made it muddy on purpose so it's easier to dehumanize L by making him a moniker, a symbol. So when someone comes in and sees L as a person and attempts to remove the 'L' moniker, it disrupts the entire plot and reveals the lines Watari is trying to keep blurred and suddenly it's "oh yeah this guy is actually a person". Does that make sense?
I'd never throw rocks at you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see this.