YOU'RE WELCOME

how can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad? trying hard not to smile though I feel bad. i'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean? well, you soon will. — adam kane. — thirty five twelve. — human & silver-aware. — drug dealer. — meme machine. — boat lover. — party boy.

[omfgadam]

mrssofiavasquez‌:

Considering she was still establishing herself as a personal trainer in Kingsholm, her schedule was rather empty. As a result, she spent most of her shifts at the front desk of the gym. She was glad she was attached to the gym and thus wasn’t dependent on specific paying clients to earn a living. Besides, it was fun to help the beginning gym-goer who was still learning the ropes but wasn’t quite prepared to pay for frequent personal training sessions. 

When someone approached the desk, she looked up and offered them a polite smile. “Welcome to Run The World. How can I help you today?” The standard phrasing was a remnant from her days of working in LA. Where they’d found it very necessary for her to announce the name of the gym whenever welcoming any guests or clients. 

He felt like an ass. But at the same time, his intentions were harmless, and he counted brownie points for his honesty. That being said, as he approached the front desk of the gym he and his friends frequented, he knew he’d be getting them back at some point. 

“Hey,” The greeting slipped out casually, watching as she was just doing her job, and felt bad he had to bother her. “Alright, this is going to be a weird one but just bear with me. See the guy over my left shoulder, orange shirt? Yeah, his name’s Isak and he’s put fifty kroner on the table that if I came over here and asked you out, you’d say no purely on the base that you’re out of my league.” Adam explained, again, feeling idiotic. Normally when he went after women, it was on his own terms, he had his own rules to play by. But this — this was just dumb jock shit. “So, I guess what I’m saying is... Even though you don’t know who I am and you have no reason to do me any favors... It would be super amazing if you made sure I didn’t lose bet money to a guy who still lets his mom do all his own laundry like an actual child.”

[omfgadam]

novakslovensky‌:

Glaring at the man as he responded, Novak sat a few cans back on the display. How had could it be to just walk away or at least go about your business? “So you are choosing to be an asshole then?” He snapped back busying himself with tidying up the mess he had even though the other watching was putting him on edge. Why did he have to be greeted by one of the biggest dicks in town today? Any other day he might have been able to deal with the other better but today he didnt even want to be around anyone, let alone this guy. He was already on high alert, higher than he usually set and it meant that he felt the need to be more cautious though he was already failing. So much for being a ghost and not drawing attention. “I hate to ruin your day but you still look like an ass. Has more to do with your face than your behaviors though.” 

“Hey, I was just watching the mess you made. If that’s counted as being an asshole, then the world’s way more sensitive than I thought it was.” Adam laughed, not bothered by the kid’s response and thinking he was sorely over-dramatizing the situation. It was just a stack of cans, not a bomb threat. At his next comment though, Adam rose his brows in surprise. “Shit... Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?” He scoffed, “You know, I was going to help you pick this crap up but I think I’ll just let you sit in it. Maybe next time you’ll give a guy a minute before turn into a raging black pot, huh?”

[omfgadam]

novakslovensky‌:

Things were beginning to feel safe here which both comforted and terrified Novak. Getting too comfortable was a bad thing because it meant guards went down and he could be caught but damnit, he deserved at least a little bit of time without feeling on high alert. Still, the easy and basic things to life were welcomed today as he was tired from work. Pushing his cart through the grocery store, he passed for a moment to push up his sleeves a bit. Kingsholm’s weather allowed for him to hide the scars from his past, especially an incomplete LSRN that the staff at the facility in Germany had loving branded into his upper arm but the grocery store was warm. He had already tossed off his jacket and hat but damn it was still uncomfortable in the store.

Rounding the corner, he felt his cart collide with the end display. Cans tumbled from the impact, the noise ringing out into the store as they rolled in all directions. “Fuck it.” Came out before he could stop it as he moved to start picking up the cans he had knocked over. His eyes locking on someone close by. “What? You can stop staring.” 

Adam had been waiting on a client’s call for the last fifteen minutes and frankly, he was not only minorly upset with them being unreliable but mostly, bored out of his mind at this point. So, with a peckish rumble in his gut, he took a swift turn into the local grocery with the idea of getting himself a snack. Any snack, something sweet, something savory. He had no idea, but it was going to satisfy him, whatever it was. On his escapade to the candy aisle however, he was stopped in his tracks by a man and his miniature cart accident. Looking on, Adam watched them throw a bit of a micro hissy-fit, a light laugh puffing out of him and giving away his reaction. At their own, Adam gave a shrug of nonchalance. “Oh I know I can. Best part is though, I don’t want to.” He replied, gesturing a little at the young man with a jut out of his chin. “That’s usually me though, so I appreciate you taking one for the team. Saves me the effort of looking like an ass in the middle of a store.”

[omfgadam]

rasmushedqvist‌:

Rasmus raised his eyebrows as the man began to describe this supposed Norweigan taco, doubtfully surprised it wasn’t anything worse than what he was exposed to back home in Sweden. Taco was a luxury for someone such as himself, hard to get your hands on unless you had the spare money and time to waste on countless ingredients – meat at that – and he could barely remember when he had last sat down to experience it. However, he couldn’t recall ever having a taco that didn’t come with corn and cucumber, now more curious about what a proper taco should taste like. “I’m sorry to break it to you, but it’s not just Norway doing that stuff, Sweden does it too. I thought you were to tell me some proper nasty ingredients – I’m kind of disappointed actually”, he replied with a soft chuckle. “What would you prefer, then? I don’t think I have seen any other variation than the one you just described.”

Adam looked at the man, the nuance of his tone implying that he either must have been from Sweden himself or at least extremely familiar with their taco customs. Either way, he feigned a horrified look with a small gasp to match. “No.” He breathed, disappointed in this information before jumping on with the next. “Well, where I come from, Tacos obviously come from the Mexicans so... You know, meat... uh, black beans, onion, salsa, and guacamole... That’s the real good stuff. Then, of course, you’ve got the tasty garbage that’s Taco Bell, of course.”

[omfgadam]

nadiakazmi‌:

“Okay, well, first things first: I don’t need you to do this. I could have easily asked someone else,” Nadia explained, tightening the scarf around her neck. “You just happen to be one of the only people I know without an actual day job, which made you available.” She had gotten off work at two, with no real plans to work on tomorrow morning’s show until later in the afternoon, and for lunch she happened to want to take advantage of The Waffle Factory’s special. Adam might not have been her absolute first choice for a lunch companion, but he was the second body she required. “And you need two people to, uh—” she snapped her fingers, struggling to remember the right word in English, “be valid? Allowed? Whatever. You need two people to get the second meal free, so I’m doing you a favor here. If we split the bill, we’re paying half as much as we usually would.”

His lips peeled into a wide grin, eyes squinting off into the distance as he remained smug about her first point. It was true, she could have asked anybody else, but she hadn’t. Now she was stuck with him for the day whether she liked to accept it or not. He basked in the glory of this; marinated even. “I’m between jobs,” He corrected her like always, and like always, got ignored as Nadia plowed through the conversation on her own terms. So he let her until she was done. “Interesting... Two weeks ago you were ready to force feed me a stale kebab and hope I choke... now you want to go into the meal-deal business with me. One might be suspicious you’re turning a new leaf...”

[omfgadam]

alecmorgenstcrn‌:

           “I don’t know about that,” Alec said, making a face at the mere image of doing so. The truth was, he didn’t even want to know what was hiding in the depth of the internet. “I’m sure your soul can handle seeing all that dark, twisted stuff on there, but mine? Nope. I’m still an innocent little boy, and it better stay that way.”

“You complaining I’m corrupted? I mean, you’re not wrong. So, sure. If you enjoy being a boring norm.” He teased. “Bet the ladies would rather you weren’t, though.”

[omfgadam]

margotlindberg‌:

             “That didn’t take as long as I expected,” Margot said in surprise, getting up from her seat on a bench close to the entrance. “I need you to help me pick up my new desk. I can’t do it on my own, I need a pair of strong arms. Think you can do that?”, she asked with arched brows, feeling a tiny bit guilty about asking for that favor. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you your taco. Without cucumber. I’ll make sure not a single piece of it lands in your taco, you look like you could be helpful again.”

“Well, I’m a speedy guy,” Adam said with his arms outstretched, then frowned and held up a hand. “Or... when I need to be. Don’t think... Like, I’ve actually got the stamina of a stallion. I’m not a rusher, or anything...” He began to correct, though got the feeling Margot didn’t care for hearing about his sex life, so he moved on pretty quickly after that. “Oh yeah. Desk picking up, it’s at the top of my skill list actually. Right under talking too much and being devilishly handsome.” He grinned at her. "Four tacos and it’s a done deal. When do you need it by?”

[omfgadam]

emiliafreygard‌:

“Very wise, Adam,” she commented with a small, amused grin. Emilia didn’t complain about the company. Most of the time, she liked it and Adam’s in particular would surely be entertaining.

“You never told me what it is you do here.” She said as she sat down. Emma put down her muffin and coffee before glancing back up at her companion. They’d hadn’t spoken much before. It had been a whirlwind of an acquaintanceship involving spontaneous DNA testing and jokes but she was just now starting to get curious about him. “Don’t you have work too?”

“No, I haven’t. But that’s ‘cause I’d have to kill you if I did.” He agreed while taking a seat opposite her and sliding into it with great ease. Adam made everything look effortless, from the way he casually cased a joint for anyone who might recognize him through his line of work, to avoid potentially problematic encounters, to the way he flagged down a waitress and ordered a coffee for himself, given that Emma already had one. Clearing his throat, he dragged up the story he gave everybody. “No, actually, the truth is that I’m kind of between jobs at the moment. See, I used to work for my dad back in California but he’s kind of a finely-aged jerk, so... I felt like it was just time to get away for a while. Check out some new places. I haven’t got a lot of credentials but... I know how to drive a stick, I’ve worked on a farm, so... Wherever I go, I find that manual labor’s always needed.” The key to his story, Adam figured, was to make it sound as ordinary as ever so that nobody got too curious and he didn’t leave any mysterious holes for anybody to go poking around in. According to anybody outside his small circle of friends who really knew him, he was just some American tourist. “So I guess that goes without saying if you ever need someone who can navigate their way around a toolbox, I’m your guy.”

[omfgadam]

bentenilsson‌:

“Well, I need an extra pair of hands to help me with preparing a hall I’ve rented out of an event for my law firm. Only two of my brothers have time tomorrow. So I’d really appreciate it if you could pitch in.” Even though the firm obviously had its own building, the event required something more than the meeting rooms available in their building. After all, an event hosting 200 people for networking purposes required a larger and more relaxed environment. “What’s your problem with cucumber,” Bente chuckled with a raise of her eyebrows. She then shrugged and added: “But, sure. I promise there won’t be any cucumber in it. I’ll owe you, anyway.” 

“Sure, what kind of stuff do you need me to do? I’m an expert chair arranger.” Adam offered, happy to help with the manual labor, but party-planning was a bit outside his realm of skills. Sure, he knew how to throw a good rager... Or well, he knew how to invite people, supply the fun, and then just expect everyone to have a good time... The food prep, the decorations, function stuff? That wasn’t his forte. Not to mention he was allergic to the L word she’d used. “I don’t know, it’s like eating a water bottle. A weird, rubbery, water bottle and I literally I hate it.” He complained, then sighed.  “Or, well... My brother made me eat one once when we were kids that had shit in it, so I guess you could say I’m a little scarred.”

[omfgadam]

rasmushedqvist‌:

Rasmus’ slowed his steps as he heard a voice by his side, glancing over at the stranger that was suddenly – what seemed – speaking in his direction. A confusion came over him, opening his mouth to respond as he dearly hoped the guy wasn’t just talking through a bluetooth. Although, he had seen someone rush off in the opposite direction a few moments ago. A misunderstanding? “I think you might be confusing me with someone else, unless I’ve been struck with amnesia and you’re trying to kick me back with a secret message of sorts.” Rasmus clicked his tongue, glancing over at the other male. “I have to admit though, I’m kind of curious though, what’s the difference between a Norweigan taco and a normal taco?” 

It was probably Adam’s fault for being so blasé about the whole thing — about his life in general — but when he double-took and paused in his tracks, he had a moment then to realize he was talking to a completely random stranger. Looking the guy over once though, Adam decided in an instant from his demeanor, tone and all round good looks that this wasn’t the worst thing to have happened to him today. In fact, it was pretty hard to make Adam feel shame or embarrassment. A new face to him just meant a new experience. “Huh... Well, if you did, it’s bad news to both of us.” He said simply, before kicking into motion. “Oh man, these tacos... From what I’ve heard, they’re still your tortilla goodness, but they put all kinds of weird stuff in them and dub it the Friday night fashion, or something. I mean, trust the Norskies to put weird stuff in them... I don’t know about you, but cucumber and corn don’t belong in a taco in my books.”

[buckykingofmemes]

‘are you decent?’  not morally, but im wearing pants, if thats what youre asking

[ryanreynoldssource]

[omfgadam]

viviansandvik‌:

This time Ian does roll her eyes — excessively. Making a face, the blonde dramatically wagged her hand, as if dismissing the whole argument. “If by modern day greatest innovations you mean a poor attempt at recreating classics, then sure, you’re right. All mint chocolate chip has done is perpetuate the elitist culture that is prizing something complicated over simplicity.” By the end of it she’s actually not sure what they’re arguing about anymore, though she doesn’t dare admit it. Letting Adam win at anything would bring forth a long period of gloating and that certainly wasn’t something Ian could let happen. “I am, aren’t I?” she agrees, sitting up straighter with a proud grin. “I’m totally a Switzerland and I’m not ashamed of it.” A graceless snort leaves her next and she shakes her head, “Yeah, sure, three of the main food groups, we’ll go with that. Pretty sure you just can’t count green things as veggies. Though you’re right, however much I hate to admit it, seaweed’s actually classified as a sea vegetable.”

Adam’s lips only peeled into a wider grin the more Ian argued her case against mint ice cream in a passion so fierce and charming, he wouldn’t be surprised if his jeans got tight over it. There was something attractive about the way she argued with him, determined to keep his wins on the low end of the scale and doing so with more grace than he ever would. So he let her have it with a raise of his eyebrows and a slow sigh, a white flag of sorts. Snorting lightly at her next words though, he laughed. “Totally. Oh — except for when it comes to mint ice cream.” He pointed out to her, though kept his gaze averted, not wanting to start the dilemma from square one. He didn’t have the attention span for it. “Wait, are you fucking with me? A sea vegetable? That’s what they’re actually called?” Adam began to laugh, acclaiming her in a sense. “Okay, that’s a thing only you would know. But I rest my case. Equal scoreboard.”

[omfgadam]

alecmorgenstcrn‌:

          “Are you fucking–,” Alec broke off as he stared at the photo added to the Wikipedia article, slowly starting to shake his head. “Man, that’s fucked. Who would even think of something like that? And put it on the internet?” He shuddered slightly, turning his head away before popping another piece of sushi into his mouth. “I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Thanks for that image. It’s like… wow. I can get the whole weird shit about human sex, but that’s a whole other level.” 

Adam grinned, “The Japanese.” He knew it was a rhetorical question, but it still was a very real answer. He tabbed the page for later on his phone but would likely forget to look back at it, especially if he got high tonight. “Oh please, that’s like... the most average stuff on the internet. You, my friend, need to travel down the dark rabbit hole of Pornhub sometime. There’s some Big Yikes in there, I’ll tell you that.”

[omfgadam]

“Alright, we’re back. So what’s this thing you needed me to do, or go to, or whatever?” He asked as they walked, having told them to put a quick pin in the converation until he was done inside with a client. Of course, he’d kept that little meeting private and brief, and now acted as if he was just carrying on his regular day like anybody else and he hadn’t just made some privilated skeevy kid’s day. “Oh, and my one condition. Next friday, you buy me one of those weird Norwegian tacos, but I’ll kill you if you put cucumber in it. I’m never doing anything for you ever again if there’s cucumber in it, kapiche?”

[omfgadam]

emiliafreygard‌:

Emma wrinkled her nose at his complaint but smiled nonetheless. It was hard not to find almost everything he did amusing in some way. Maybe because she rarely got to deal with Americans and she was sure he didn’t mean any harm to anyone. 

She laughed a bit. “I get it but at the same time I don’t… Why do you always have to shorten things?” Emilia huffed. “Anyway, I am going to sit right there,” she said, briefly looking over to the nearest cafe table. “-before I spill this. If you’re not waiting for an order and looking to buy something I suggest all the pumpkin flavored things. They’re amazing this month.”

“Because life’s watch is always ticking, Emma! We’re all running out of time here, so we’ve gotta make room for all the good stuff by shortening the average stuff, right?” He explained, profoundly too, as if this was some big joke the rest of the world might be in on as well. Glancing over at the table, Adam grinned. “Oh yeah? That a, uh... invite, or?” He smirked, “Alright, I’m going to take it as an invite. You’re so nice, sure, I’ll sit with you, make sure nobody thinks you’re a loser sitting by herself on her lunch break. Again. So lucky to have me around.”

[omfgadam]

viviansandvik‌:

Ian sighs, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “Don’t,” she flicks his shoulder, “make me regret tell you that.” She’d only admitted it to get him to stop asking, and even then she knew that it probably wouldn’t keep him quiet. Atlas was far too interested in the marshmallow Dusty was licking, head cocked to the side in wonderment. “Of course you wouldn’t,” Ian retorts with a graceless snort, a hand running through each of the dogs fur. “Which is why I’m not going to do it.”

He winced, playfully of course, as if her flick made some kind of enormous impact. Adam wasn’t exactly dressed to the nines tonight, he wore a skelly jacket that zipped up the front and glowed in the dark, and the face-paint was all thanks to an artistic makeup artist friend of his. He’d supplied her for her handiwork before she went off to some whacky secret party or something, he’d tried to get an invite but she’d refused. So instead, he’d texted Ian about seven times in a row asking if she’d be at the movie marathon. “Oh you know I will. Forever and ever. And whatever else comes after that,” He grinned over at her with a second set of pearly whites, ready to hold the information over her forever. “You know what you are? You’re a buzzkill. But kudos, ‘cause that’s the most terrifying thing I’ve seen this Halloween so far. See, I’ve got a serious phobia of being bored, true story.”