OMG it's SKR!

Sara Runnels is a writer living in New York City. Most notably, her work has appeared in Tinder messages, late-night tweets, Gmail inboxes, group texts, Instagram captions, the Notes app, Tumblr drafts and abandoned Word documents. But luckily, she pays her bills by being a sought-after marketing copywriter, where she has spent a good portion of her career writing for distinguished brands like CBS, JetBlue, Birchbox, MTV, Verizon and Disney. A piece she wrote about God creating millennial earth was the #7 most-read piece on McSweeney’s in 2017. Other buzzworthy accomplishments include being c-r-o-w-n-e-d the 1994 spelling bee champion, and in 2014, Beyoncé posted a picture of Sara wearing a clever bee costume to her Facebook page. Lisa Frank also once bought her a lobster roll. All of her free time is spent watching very good (and very bad) television, traveling as much as possible, documenting first dates in real-time on Instagram and never being able to sleep because she is so full of very good (and very bad) ideas.

[omgskr]

My latest @newyorker piece highlights the can’t-miss, HOTTEST destination of the year!

This place has everything: your neighbor Donna, 2016 flashbacks, Instagram opportunities, trendy nightclub lines, the fate of our country, PARTIES! 🇺🇸

The No. 1 Place to Visit in 2020

Your Local Polling Place has everything—impartial officials, the entire fate of our country, maybe some sexual tension with your neighbor An

[omgskr]

All the Write Angles: A Year in Review

How I Did More Writing in 2019 Than Ever Before

[omgskr]

Classic First-Date Questions Updated for the End Times

What’s your favorite food . . . to store in your doomsday bunker?

You can take the girl out of New York, but you can’t take her out of The New Yorker!!!

My latest @newyorker piece was thoroughly researched simply by...going on hundreds of first dates as the end of the world looms & the earth slowly ghosts us!!!

If you love/read/share it, you’re totally invited back to my doomsday bunker. ;)

[omgskr]

Single Men Pitch Themselves To Me On Shark Tank

This Shark is ready to settle — I mean, invest!

I entered a humor writing contest last month (in between all the other writing I somehow did), and placed in the top 15 (#12) of ~400 entries. 🏆 HONORED to walk away a winner! Unlike all these men who entered my Shark Tank.

[omgskr]

The 48-Hour Second Date

Our connection thrived over text, but 48 hours in person was a different story

I wrote a cathartic and uncharacteristically vulnerable piece about taking big risks in the name of love or something like it. ❤️

[omgskr]

Other Brands Launching Hard Seltzers

Home Depot, Nike, Dove, and more companies present their twisted and spiked versions of the official drink of summer, 2019.

Definitely getting lit on some Home Depot “Tough as Nails” Literally Spiked Seltzers tonight to celebrate my second New Yorker piece!!🍸

[omgskr]

Proverbs for the Modern Dating World

‘A ship in the harbor is safe, but your ship is the reason I slid into your DMs.’

[omgskr]

I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors

Guy, 35 💼 Chief Outdoor Officer at World 🎓 University of Phoenix (Outdoor Campus) 📍Distance Unknown Just a fun-loving PNW guy and f

My move to Seattle has been very inspiring. 😂

[omgskr]

Dating Terms Inspired by Catfishing

Eeling is when you feel an immediate spark, but it’s not mutual. Tilapia-ing is when a date is mild, white, and forgettable.

REELING with excitement about my very first humor piece in The New Yorker. 

THE MOTHERFUCKING NEW YORKER!!!

[omgskr]

Why Be a Victoria’s Secret Angel When You Can Be a T.J. Maxx Cherub?

While Victoria’s Secret applies a rigorous standard to their sparkly, bare-stomached Angels, they can’t hold a discounted scented candle to T.J. Maxx Cherubs.

My piece on the privilege of wearing the dazzling, discounted, heavily manhandled wings of the iconic T.J. Maxx Cherub is featured on @Medium this week! 

[omgskr]

On Letting (Yourself) Go – Sara Katherine Runnels – Medium

An Absolutely Necessary Didion-Inspired Goodbye to New York City

I forgot to tell this 11-year-old blog (!!) that I moved to Seattle a month ago, so! 

[omgskr]

My latest!

[omgskr]

Available in six shades of white, now you can bring this iconic figure from our nation’s past and present into your home or garbage can! 

Read more.

[omgskr]

The Clap-back Cactus 👏 doesn’t 👏 need 👏 sunlight 👏 because 👏 it 👏 prefers 👏shade.

Learn how to care for your Woke Lily, Basic Fern, Lit Orchid, Thirsty Palm and more here! 

[omgskr]

"When spring came—even the false spring—there were no problems except where to be happiest.”

[omgskr]

The Official Application for the Trump White House Internship Program

Apply now, very specific group of people!

1. Please select your ethnicity:

☐ White

☐ White with a tan

☐ White with blond hair

☐ White with dark hair

☐ Other

2. You must be a U.S. citizen to be eligible. I am from:

☐ A red state

☐ A shithole country

....keep reading! 

[omgskr]

Italy is Actual Heaven

My best iPhone pics from a week-long Italian vacation... 

ROME

FLORENCE

CINQUE TERRE

PISA

TUSCANY

OUR CASTLE AIRBNB OUTSIDE OF SIENA 

BEST TIME W MY MAMA FOR HER BIRTHDAY ♥️