[on-the-record]

I've been collecting these for a while and thought I should finally get around to posting them

Everyone is quoted verbaitum, mostly out of context and according to their relationship with me because we don't believe in real names

Some of these have a lot of potential, so feel free to use them as incorrect quotes for your own things! (mayhaps tag me if you're feeling generous)

Any posts (like this one) that are just me talking will be tagged #off the record to make them easier to avoid

[on-the-record]

"Look, if I have to be in a pyramid scheme,,,,,, it's gonna be vampirism"

- Me

[on-the-record]

"You're gonna make my eyeballs crusty"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Your foot would look like a nokia brick"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

" 'We saved Bloom's life!' Bloom: drifting by the moon as a baby corpse"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"He's wearing the outfit-equivalent of a mullet"

- Me

[on-the-record]

"They heard of typhus and they were like 'this slaps' "

- Me

[on-the-record]

"I mentally drank it, and then I was like 'thirst quenched' "

- Me

[on-the-record]

"How will you survive without a poked nose?"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"I'm so aware of my ankles"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Well what alphabet do you think worms use?"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Ican'thelpifmyeyesarejuicy"

- Sister, whispering

Translation: "I can't help if my eyes are juicy", but said so fast it was basically one word

[on-the-record]

"Yeh!! Gwompus!!"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Bitch! It's my stink! This is where it lives!"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"You see these hands? These are the hands of a soft summer maid. I am delicate"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Smell. Smell! S m e l l m e"

- Sister

[on-the-record]

"Australia is just our criminal child accross the sea"

- Sister