Once Upon a Stolas

Once upon a time there was this nice old bird dad, and we really liked him. Let us tell you about him.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

A short but very cute one from July 5th that slipped under the radar. As thanks for taking care of him the night before, Blitzo returns Insta!Stolas's frilly, be-ribboned underwear to his house.

On the 15th, it was confirmed that they were definitely having sex, and never expressly stated that this was the kickoff point for that. But I like to imagine it was.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

It's often been said on this blog that Instagram Stolas was extremely kind to everyone, and that he was always doing his best to uplift everyone around him. Let's talk a little about that.

Instagram Stolas was a prime example of a flawed, but well-meaning wealthy character. Although his extremely affable nature was often tinged with a touch of Hellborn classism he couldn't shake -- he had a bad habit of calling imps "little," and sent someone to clean up after the events of July 4th rather than doing it himself -- no one could say he wasn't sincere or that he wasn't trying. He decided very early on that Moxxie and Millie were people he liked, and was filled with boomer fatherly affection for "Miss Loona," calling her dear and suggesting she and Octavia would get along.

He also got along well with Angel, whose "cultural videos" he claimed to be a big fan of (oh, Stolas...), and every now and then the two would exchange pleasantries or advice. Even when it came to Vox and Velvette, neither of whom he liked in the least, he made it a point to tell them they could do better than Valentino.

He had a special soft spot for Moxxie, giving him advice on sunflowers and praising his cooking photos. In at least one post to come, it will be heavily suggested that he idolized the relationship Moxxie and Millie have, and very much wanted the same for himself and Blitzo.

Perhaps most telling of all though is the fact that this is by no means a complete list of examples. There were just that many of these.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

do you think you'll post again when mission zero comes out?

Shot out out the time Blitzo and Insta!Stolas had sex in Blitzo's office and it was mutually enjoyable, hot as all get out, and something they did for absolutely no other reason than they both wanted to.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Remember the entry featuring Stolas and Stella's teatime when I mentioned that there would be at least one more like it? Well, that post is here, and it's a bit of a spooky one.

July 27th of 2020's post shows a family portrait of Stolas, Stella (then unnamed and drawn in a different style), and Octavia, all wearing polite, stiff smiles. Stolas and Stella are pointedly avoiding one another's hands.

What stands out about this one is the caption, written in the third person and wishing the audience a good day from "his Highness, Prince Stolas and his lovely family." It's very carefully curated and it obviously wasn't written by Stolas (and is much too calm to be written by Stella). Of all the Instagram/Voxtagram posts, on Stolas's account or otherwise, this is the only one to feature such a caption. In the comments, Moxxie tips Stolas off that Blitz is out getting coffee and free to meet, and Stolas thanks him, but says he has to remain where he is.

(Blitzo, seemingly unconcerned, simply comments "3 chimken," Stolas gently chides him for this, not wanting Octavia to be referred to in such a way but apparently not caring if Stella is. He points out that he never says such things about Loona, referring to her as Blitz's daughter, and this is not the first time Instagram Stolas has done this. It's a marked change from Series Stolas, who despite having two seasons under his belt, has showed no such interest in Loona.)

All of this implies that there was someone or something working to ensure that the royal family's good image remained intact, and that Stolas's open flaunting of his affair on social media jeopardized that. While in the series, we learn that Via was conceived "as a precautionary heir" and that Stolas could have divorced years ago, but remained in the marriage for his child's sake, that's not the case here. Here, something bigger than both Stella and Stolas needed them to play happy family.

However, the artist and writer behind Stolas's Instagram has long vanished, and this sinister presence is never brought up again.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Thsi is great, like, I knew of the instagrams but never paid much attention, just had videos in the background of people talking about em

And like with everything that's been going with stolas(god do I hate s2!stolas) this is, frankly, a bitter sweet find

Like, it sucks that this stolas was erased. Frankly, the deal definitely made their relationship more complicated, but even then, s1 was still good, stolas wasn't shown to be in the right and did show regret. S2 stolas, though.....is just a gaslighter, guiltripper, and hypocrit for the narrative to not have to give him any consequences and to make Blitz look like he's in the wrong

Sorry for the mini rant, just, I like this new information, I like this stolas I never knew existed

It really does, and it's very bittersweet. Season one Stolas had the potential to become his own compelling, albeit very different character from his Instagram iteration, while season 2 thinks they're the same character, even as Stolas abuses everyone unfortunate enough to come near him.

Instagram Stolas would have never in a hundred thousand years have trashed Blitzo's office, Blitzo who was feeding and clothing and giving up his own bed for him, while having a breakdown at the fact that he was no longer rich.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Does instaStolas/Blitzo have a ship name yet?

Instalitz. Sometimes people also give him blue eyes, which Stolas is said to manifest with in demonology.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

What exactly prevents these interactions not only from Stolas, but all the others as well, to be part of their characterization currently?

Because Stolas's first ever appearance in Murder Family sees him "following up on our last little conversation" regarding the grimoire, referring to the pilot. At this point in the Instagrams, Blitz and Stolas are basically dating happily, and it'll only become more pronounced by the time Instagram Stolas ends his run.

Even Viv herself knew this. Right before Murder Family, the Instagrams received a major overhaul to bring them more in line with the series; Stolas suddenly became a lot more overbearing and sexually possessive, Blitz openly disgusted and annoyed by it, and they started referencing canon events and meeting every month as part of their deal.

It's all very confusing.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Did the Furby appear in a previous post? I don’t remember seeing it before.

It did, but not one I posted because it didn't really have anything to do with Stolas and this is his little eulogy/time capsule. It was just something weird Blitz did, which happened often.

That said, there are a couple of interesting little things to be gleaned from the Furby post.

There's a very sharp generational divide between fans who think this is a Furby and fans who think it's a Tattletail. It's actually sort of a mix of the two; it has a Tattletail's mammalian nose instead of a Furby's beak, but a spectacle-esque outline around the eyes like a Furby.

No one seems sure on what Moxxie means by "new" creepy ball of unholy fur. A couple of people speculated that this refers to Blitzo's invisible horse. I actually thought it was a dig at Loona.

The fandom was a lot meaner to Valentino in those days and I miss it. You almost never saw people claiming Angel was ungrateful or deserving of what happened to him.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

The beginning of August, 2020. Or, that time Blitzo broke his leg.

We begin with Blitzo...well, breaking his leg. Specifically, he breaks it riding a two-headed ride-on hellhorse built for children at the playground, something Loona rips into him for a little harsher than is probably warranted, but that's another discussion. This keeps him confined to the house, throws a damper on his birthday (sidenote: that's Blah Blah the clown, another Brandon Rogers creation, and Blitz is turning 32) and generally leaves him feeling pretty miserable.

Stolas signs his cast and expresses hopes that he'll feel better soon. It's at this point that Stolas shows up with a care package, returning the favor after Blitzo and co. did the same for him a month earlier. A commenter who was present in one of the art streams Blitzo held during this time points out that Stolas was present for this, and assured everyone that he was taking care of Blitz.

Blitzo's predictably surly about it all, but unlike in the series, he's actually shown to enjoy Stolas's presence -- they've been repeatedly shown just spending time together, and as I remind everyone in every post, the full moon book deal that will retcon the Instagrams hasn't come about yet. Because of this, we actually believe that Blitz isn't always sure how to respond to love and care, because this Stolas was so willing to give it.

(In another sweet little moment, Moxxie thanks Stolas for looking after Blitz and suggests he throw out the Furby Blitz found and brought home, and Stolas responds very casually, as anyone might respond to a friend. Instagram Stolas frequently showed interest in the other members of I.M.P., especially Moxxie, but in the series, he's extremely dismissive of them all.)

I know I just reblogged this, but I feel like it bears posting again in light of the most recent episode. It's really the point at the heart of this blog.

Love isn't about grand gestures; it's about being dependably good, dependently kind. It's about showing up every day and being there for someone, even when it's just the small things, and even when it would be easier not to.

Instagram Stolas did this, and he did it even when Blitz's life wasn't in danger. And because he felt safe around him, Instagram Blitzo did it back.

It really was as simple as that.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

howdy, just wanted to ask if you will be making any more posts as a send off to season 2?

Oh, there will be plenty more posts. After that last episode, there are a lot of things to talk about.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Long post tonight, but we can't talk about Pre-Murder Family Instagram Stolas without talking about his relationship with Valentino.

But first, a quick rundown for anyone new to this blog, or to these characters...

None of the HH/HB Instagram accounts were run by Vivziepop herself.

Both the Instagram accounts and Blitzo's art streams were crossover events in which the Helluva and Hazbin characters would mingle freely, leading to dynamics such as this one.

It's been speculated that the Hazbin accounts were shut down for legal reasons. This is not true, or at least not the sole reason for it. There was friction between the players and Viv that we will not be going into here.

The Instagram Vees, like Instagram Stolas, were profoundly different characters from the ones who would eventually come to be canon. Instagram Valentino, in addition to abusing and raping Angel Dust, was an animal abuser who routinely used his lover, Vox, as a punching bag.

Instagram Stolas was generous, respectful, and incredibly mindful of Blitzo's consent. There was no full moon deal at this time; Stolas simply allowed Blitzo to use the grimoire at his leisure, his only caveat that Blitzo be responsible with it. When they spent time together, sexually or otherwise, it was purely because they both wanted to.

All of that being said? It should come as little surprise that Stolas despised Valentino. Loathed him, detested him, referred to him as a rat and never missed an opportunity to throw shade at him. The feeling was very mutual, and their interactions were so venomously entertaining that even Vox and Velvette were having a good time.

It can't be stressed enough that Instagram Stolas behaved this way with absolutely nobody else, not even Vox and Velvette, suggesting to both that they could do and deserved better. Instagram Stolas was slow to anger, quick to forgive, and full of good-natured affection for just about everyone he came into contact with, not just Blitzo. The only other time he ever came close to being this disgusted by someone was when a commenter suggested he take advantage of a drunk Blitzo. Here, Stolas pulls no punches, gets Valentino by the throat and throws him around, and he's very good at it. He's classy, sharp, witty, exposing Valentino for the stupid, crass bully he is. He's a prince, knows it, and carries himself like one.

A punk like Valentino who mistreated others, but especially the people he's sleeping with? That was something Stolas couldn't and wouldn't stand.

(There's a blink and you miss it moment where Valentino refers to Stolas as a lonely, thirsty old man, the only time Valentino appears to hit a nerve. One might easily brush this off as a random insult, but Stolas as a character Blitzo's age was actually a very last minute -- arguably too last minute -- plot development that came after Vivzie saw a piece of fanart of the two as children. Instagram Stolas, like canon Stolas at this point, was a lonely older man.)

The last exchange here was posted on October 31, 2020, the day that Murder Family aired. After that, Stolas's characterization on the Instagrams was retconned to align with the character seen in that episode...the one who had no qualms with taking advantage of Blitzo's life being in danger to coerce a sexual bargain out of him. Therefore, it could be said that that reply marked one of the last times this Stolas, the Stolas this blog is about, would appear before his permanent transformation into a character that's often compared to Valentino, and who Instagram Stolas would have undoubtedly loathed.

At a time when Stolas's most defining trait was his patience, his unfailingly warmth and kindness towards everyone around him, and his respectfulness toward his sexual partner, it speaks volumes to his character that Valentino was the only person in the world he truly hated.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

(verosikastrikerexcuser here) Omg thanks for making this account. I remember the instas before they got taken down and seeing them brought back up and analyzed now in the current era of HB is fascinating. I'm sorry this version of Stolas was lost to you, while I'm honestly not sure how to feel about him as a whole these days, since I liked problematic S1 Stolas bc the complexity/class commentary (and he was called out) I can see why losing Insta Stolas sucks. He was so cute.

I appreciate it. No good thing is ever lost as long as we remember it...but also, he's very much gone (along with problematic, complex S1 Stolas) and it absolutely does suck.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

With all that's happened these past few days, a part of me wishes I had a more eventful set of Stolas posts to share with you. On the other hand, it may be that there's never been a more fitting time to discuss this extremely ordinary handful of updates that Stolas posted around the end of July of 2021.

(The exception: one that concerns Stella and Via, which is unusual enough that I want to talk about it separately.)

These posts paint a very quiet picture of Stolas's day-to-day life; a portal to the sky where the Northern Lights are taking place, a serene shot of a comfortably clad Stolas reading "50 Shades of Red," snapped by Via, which Stolas elected to share because he "thought it was a nice picture," and he was right. There's a selfie of himself and Via having a movie marathon of their universe's answer to Twilight (Stolas, perhaps not unsurprisingly, is on "Team Edwin") and though Via points out that he's embarrassing her, he can't help but use the hashtag to gush about how much he loves her. Last but not least, a shot of Stolas ringing up Blitzo, not to harass him sexually -- remember, the full moon deal was not present in this story -- but simply to see if Blitzo wants to meet up somewhere.

The Stolas of this brief window of time was night and day from the Stolas of the series. This is a Stolas that's not riding off with Blitzo on a white horse, but nonetheless enjoys a fulfilling life full of cozy reading, celestial viewing, selfies he posts just because he thinks they look nice, and the love of his child. In addition, because he's spent the last few months actually caring about Blitzo as a person, the two are on warm enough terms to meet up and spend time together in broad daylight.

This is, in short, a Stolas who would never spend hours watching his crush do bad standup while his daughter roamed a strange, dangerous city...a Stolas who would never in a hundred, never in a thousand years dream of guilt tripping Blitzo for taking his daughter to the doctor.

And that Stolas, in the opinion of this blog, is worth remembering.

Always beautiful.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Not a Stolas related post, but because this blog focuses so heavily on the character Instagrams, I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about what's happened with Kaz.

Please take the time to read Kaz's testimony. There's a very common misconception in the fandom -- even I assumed it for a while -- that the Angel Dust blog was taken down because of copyright issues and that's simply not the case.

Kaz's Angel Dust was a treasure, a welcome respite during hard, frightening times. I'm sure they're not perfect, no one is, but they didn't deserve how they were treated and they certainly didn't deserve this.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Hi I just wanted to send you some positivity and thank you for making this blog! It’s so interesting to see, and feels like a historic record. It seems I misunderstood it’s purpose completely, and for that I’m sorry! It’s great to see that the Instagram character was a comfort for you, though for me unfortunately, the new current stolas is one of my biggest discomfort characters ever because of reasons you and I both know. I tend to block any blogs dedicated to him cause of the cruel new fans :(

It’s hard I’m sure, but I hope you can see this blog through to the end cause it’s a fascinating journey to see the transition from actual nice guy to this newer…r/niceguys ™ stolas we have now.

No worries, I understand completely!

I'm in the same boat myself. This Stolas was my comfort character at one time, and new current Stolas is the very opposite, and it's pretty excruciating to see both Viv and the fandom try to hijack the mysterious Instagram operator's gorgeous art, sensitive writing, and actual hard work.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

are there any posts you're particularly looking forward to/saving for a special occasion?

Nothing I'm saving for any particular occasion, but there are a couple of posts I'm very much looking forward to. The ones where Stolas shows off his artwork specifically because he's inspired by Blitzo doing the same always make me tear up a little. The kidnapping arc is amazing, and there's also a post towards the end where they go on an adorable little coffee date.

[once-upon-a-stolas]

Hey there. Been a while, hasn't it?

Getting back into the swing of things with a couple of very soft, extremely silly entries from July 22nd and 23rd of 2020. The former features an offering from one of Blitzo's art streams (which we'll discuss in the next entry); among the rainbow of ridiculous horse doodles, there's a drawing of Stolas, who looks like a cross between Stolas, a giraffe, and two pairs of high heeled boots. The real Stolas loves it -- loves Blitzo -- and if anyone's ever wondered why I draw a distinction between pre-Murder Family Instagram Stolas and post- Murder Family Instagram Stolas, this is one of the reasons. Post- Murder Family Instagram Stolas, apart from being a soft reset who adhered to the full moon deal where his predecessor hadn't, was shown to be deeply unimpressed by Blitzo's love for horses.

July 23 sees Stolas posting a picture of himself in a white poet shirt and oversized pantaloons that say "Art thou nasty" on the butt. He eagerly tags Blitzo, and rather than being disgusted or put off, Blitzo responds with a laughing emoji. Stolas sends back an emoji that's blowing a kiss.

By now, we've reached the point in the Instagrams where we've seriously got to wonder if these two can be said to be dating, and while I don't know that they're quite there yet, it's still a wonderful thing to behold. There's no full moon deal, none of the dubious consent implications that came with it...they're just two characters who slept together once, then started hanging out together, have been implied to continue sleeping together, and now a few months later are becoming comfortable enough to swap blushing and heart emotes.

It was nice. It was just so incredibly nice.