I'll Be Here For You

[badbops]

[borderlinepdfeels]

[ghost-of-bpd-deactivated2022071]

You know how people describe bpd with black and white thinking?

 If you don’t have bpd, it is impossible to explain how much this effects our lives. (My life at least because people casually get offended when i generalize what i mean with people like me in mind.)

Just. My point is, I am tired of having no grays.

I either try to starve myself while feeling guilty for not eating healthy or I eat 5 chocolate bars in a row and then spent the rest of the day feeling disgusting and fat.

It is just chocolate. I can’t enjoy a fucking chocholate.

And not just that either;

I don’t go out for months and then one day at a weird ass hour I am out there trying to figure out things to do so I don’t have to go back home any time soon.

I ignore cleaning my room for weeks and then I am cleaning between the tiles with a toothbrush because there may be dirt in there.

I don’t shower for days, sometimes almost weeks, and then I am busy spending an entire day with beauty products because self care is important.

I hate myself for who I became because it is my fault or I hate people who made me this way because it is not my fault.

All I need to get my life back together is just to start doing something but then I see no point in trying because no matter what I do I know it will never be enough to get my life back together ever again.

I am just so tired. That is all I am saying.

[kaunisbaby-deactivated20251113]

bpd be like:

who am i. who am i. WHO THE FUCK AM I

boundaries? I don't know her

if dressing slutty is the only way I can get men to look at me, then So Be It

a new person? THEY'RE A THREAT YOU'RE GONNA BE REPLACED

this is all a dream. it feels so distant it's a DREAM

I'm a burden and everyone is just pretending to like me

either I'm perfect or I should die

I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT MYSELF I NEED TO TEAR MY GUTS APART

eating disorders

second guessing EVERYTHING

overthinking EVERYTHING

obsessions. not being able to enjoy anything in moderation

being jealous of everyone who's sicker than you

wanting to hurt yourself and end up at the hospital just to see who will pay a visit

I'm not even that sick, I'm probably just faking it all

your mood depends on other people ENTIRELY

I'M SO HAPPY AND JOYFUL I RADIATE LIGHT

I've never been this suicidal in my life

alcohol abuse

drug abuse

I'm not good at anything but I'll be a perfect sex object to whoever is desperate enough to want me

being terrified of love

splitting on the most important people in your life

this is a movie. things aren't really happening YOU'RE WATCHING A MOVIE

feeling drained after feeling one (1) emotion

overwhelming loneliness

guilt. guilt all the fucking time

you're a subhuman. die. no one cares about you anyway

embarrassed? more like humiliated, TIME TO SLASH YOUR SKIN OPEN

feeling like you don't belong anywhere. you never really fit in

I HAD THE BEST IDEA OF MY LIFE then hating it two hours later

taking everything personally

being unable to tolerate uncertainty and criticism

anxiety 24/7

I can control my emotions if everything is strictly under my control 24/7 right??

being impulsive and fucking everything up

hyperempathy

not knowing where others finish and you begin

I N S T A B I L I T Y

[one-laugh-a-day]

Jessica Simpson Beeya Two-Piece Platform Sandals ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more stiletto sandals)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Amazon.com | Onlymaker Women's Stiletto Court Shoes Short Shaft Concealed Platform High Heel Boots Shoes With Rivets Black Black 9 M US | Ankle & Bootie ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more black high heel boots)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Dsquared2 High-heeled Sandals ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more print shoes)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Women's Faux Velvet Cute Dress Platform High Wedge Pump with Bow ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more velvet pumps)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Ankle booties ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more black wedge booties)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Alexander McQueen Curved horn-heel velvet sandals ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more strap heel sandals)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Adella Super Platform Ankle Boot ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more platform ankle boots)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Casadei Stiletto Pumps ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more stilettos shoes)

[one-laugh-a-day]

FSJ Women Sexy Ankle Strap Platform Sandals Chunky High Heel Open Toe Velvet Shoes Size 4-15 US ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more ankle strap high heel sandals)

[one-laugh-a-day]

STEVE MADDEN Gonzo sm velvet platform sandals ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more block heel ankle strap sandals)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Tori Black Suedetter Heels ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more heel pumps)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Black Suede Ankle Strap Peep Toe Platform High Heel Pumps ❤ liked on Polyvore (see more heels stiletto)

[one-laugh-a-day]

Outfit 9 by desiree-van-der-stad featuring evening purses

White crop top, €12 / Sequin skirt / High heel stiletto, €15 / John Lewis evening purse, €10 / Bubble necklace, €4,14 / Manic Panic NYC Classic Semi Permanent Hair Colour Cream - Purple Haze, €13