Ford Pines 📚

Gravity Falls (retired) Paranormal Investigator Recovering Cipherholic, Emotional Support Ford Thoroughly enjoying watching Bill attempt to use a broom. (Ford RP account, Handyman Bill AU)

[one-sixer-please]

Not really sure how to start this...

Greetings. I am Stanford Pines. My niece and nephew decided to teach me the ways of the internet. Pretty fascinating. I am currently sitting on my couch with my device watching Bill try to use a broom twice his size. Entertaining. I was told to allow you all to "ask me questions" and whatnot. So...ask away!

vv read below for rules vv Hello! Mason/Syn here. I'm the mod behind the one-sixer-please, mabels-scrapbooks, and dippers-starbooks accounts! Couple rules and things I want to share:

Be patient please!! I am a human person that does a lot of stuff so I may not always be able to answer asks!! But I'll try when I can!! My time zone is EST. I'll respond whenever I'm awake/not at school or other event!! Please...no NSFW asks...I don't care for shipping (Billford or Fiddauthor only though...let's not get weird here) if you want to imply some undertones...but I'm a minor so just be respectful of that!! Be mindful of the AU!! I picked this AU for specifically how Ford acts but also remember what takes place in this AU if you have any questions regarding that :3 Uhh, other than that just don't be weird or creepy. Have common sense. Thank you!!! :3 btw ford has a tag for his daily journal entries. #sixer's thoughts if you're interested in his journal entries :3

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT IF HA ASK ME! (-(

*he hands him the bottle, about 2/3 full, and the opening is slightly wet with triangle saliva… or eye fluid, but with him what’s the difference*

[one-sixer-please]

*He took a large sip, ignoring the triangle saliva. It's like an indirect kiss!*

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT BAD, RIGHT? HAD TACGET YOU TO TRY IT WHEN I SAW THR BRAND NAME (-(

[one-sixer-please]

Pretty great, honestly.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he wrapped an arm around him and sighed, leaning in for another sip*

WELL… IM FLAD YOURE OKAY ISH… TRICKY GOT BRAJN DAMAGE, RVERYONES BLAMIN NESTER, AND I MIGHTA ACCIDENTALLY TERRORIZED HIM. BUT WE MADE UP SO THSTS GINR BUT WE… DAMN WE VOT SHITTY DADS…

[one-sixer-please]

You've had an eventful week, huh? And..do you want to elaborate on that?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL BOTH OUR DADS FORCES US TO TAKE A MEDICINE CAUSE OF OUR EUE… HIS DAD WANTEC TI RIP HIS EYE OUT, MINE WOULF JUST SAY HE WANTED TI AND LAUGHED AT ME FIR HETTIN SCARED… THERE WAS A OOT NORE TO THAT BUT ITS A LOT…

[one-sixer-please]

Oh my...I'm sorry...

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he clings to him closer*

IVE HAD LNE TRILLION HEARS TO VET LVER IT. I WATCHED HIM DIE. SAMR FOR NESTER. BUT WE’RE STULL…

CAN I GET A SIP?

[one-sixer-please]

Yeah of course. *He took another sip and handed the bottle back.*

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT IF HA ASK ME! (-(

*he hands him the bottle, about 2/3 full, and the opening is slightly wet with triangle saliva… or eye fluid, but with him what’s the difference*

[one-sixer-please]

*He took a large sip, ignoring the triangle saliva. It's like an indirect kiss!*

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT BAD, RIGHT? HAD TACGET YOU TO TRY IT WHEN I SAW THR BRAND NAME (-(

[one-sixer-please]

Pretty great, honestly.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he wrapped an arm around him and sighed, leaning in for another sip*

WELL… IM FLAD YOURE OKAY ISH… TRICKY GOT BRAJN DAMAGE, RVERYONES BLAMIN NESTER, AND I MIGHTA ACCIDENTALLY TERRORIZED HIM. BUT WE MADE UP SO THSTS GINR BUT WE… DAMN WE VOT SHITTY DADS…

[one-sixer-please]

You've had an eventful week, huh? And..do you want to elaborate on that?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL BOTH OUR DADS FORCES US TO TAKE A MEDICINE CAUSE OF OUR EUE… HIS DAD WANTEC TI RIP HIS EYE OUT, MINE WOULF JUST SAY HE WANTED TI AND LAUGHED AT ME FIR HETTIN SCARED… THERE WAS A OOT NORE TO THAT BUT ITS A LOT…

[one-sixer-please]

Oh my...I'm sorry...

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT IF HA ASK ME! (-(

*he hands him the bottle, about 2/3 full, and the opening is slightly wet with triangle saliva… or eye fluid, but with him what’s the difference*

[one-sixer-please]

*He took a large sip, ignoring the triangle saliva. It's like an indirect kiss!*

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT BAD, RIGHT? HAD TACGET YOU TO TRY IT WHEN I SAW THR BRAND NAME (-(

[one-sixer-please]

Pretty great, honestly.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he wrapped an arm around him and sighed, leaning in for another sip*

WELL… IM FLAD YOURE OKAY ISH… TRICKY GOT BRAJN DAMAGE, RVERYONES BLAMIN NESTER, AND I MIGHTA ACCIDENTALLY TERRORIZED HIM. BUT WE MADE UP SO THSTS GINR BUT WE… DAMN WE VOT SHITTY DADS…

[one-sixer-please]

You've had an eventful week, huh? And..do you want to elaborate on that?

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT IF HA ASK ME! (-(

*he hands him the bottle, about 2/3 full, and the opening is slightly wet with triangle saliva… or eye fluid, but with him what’s the difference*

[one-sixer-please]

*He took a large sip, ignoring the triangle saliva. It's like an indirect kiss!*

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT BAD, RIGHT? HAD TACGET YOU TO TRY IT WHEN I SAW THR BRAND NAME (-(

[one-sixer-please]

Pretty great, honestly.

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[askdrunkbillcipher]

NOT IF HA ASK ME! (-(

*he hands him the bottle, about 2/3 full, and the opening is slightly wet with triangle saliva… or eye fluid, but with him what’s the difference*

[one-sixer-please]

*He took a large sip, ignoring the triangle saliva. It's like an indirect kiss!*

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[askdrunkbillcipher]

*he did not look fine with it but stopped talking about it*

HOWS ABOIG I SHARE MY GIN WITH YA

*hes drinking from a bottled labeled “Ford’s London Dry Gin”*

[one-sixer-please]

Ooh, sure. Honestly, since being with you I've been craving alcohol a lot more than normal. Is that bad?

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

MAYBE NOT BUT WHAT ID HE MANAGED TK DO IT? WHAT IF YOU DIEF? WHAT WOULD TOU EXPECT ME TO DO THEN?

[one-sixer-please]

Well, am I dead right now? I'm not. So relax, it's fine..

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[askdrunkbillcipher]

ILL FUCKING KILL GIM

[one-sixer-please]

It's a child, dear! It's not worth your breath.

[one-sixer-please]

"YOU'RE LETTING THAT THING STAY IN YOUR HOME AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE!?"

...It wasn't my choice. The axolotl had some bright idea for him to cope. I hate every bit of it. Do you want him?

[henchmaniac-ford]

"No, I don't want him. Why don't you shoot him with the quantum destabilizer

[one-sixer-please]

He's miserable enough already. He lost all his powers and is a janitor.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"I'm sure he believes that to be a fate worse than death, does he work under Stanley then?"

[one-sixer-please]

Worse, under Soos.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"The hairless gofer!?"

[one-sixer-please]

Yeah..

[henchmaniac-ford]

"that's.. You know now I'm starting to feel bad for the guy"

[one-sixer-please]

My offer still stands. You can have him.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"if I had him I would bury him alive"

[one-sixer-please]

*He sighed.* Look, I don't care what you do with him. I want him out of our lives. He can hardly count to four. It's not like he can fight back or anything.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"in that case I will happily take him! If the Axolotl is mad at me for getting revenge on him he shouldn't have sent him to live with another version of me"

[one-sixer-please]

Haha, exactly!

[one-sixer-please]

"YOU'RE LETTING THAT THING STAY IN YOUR HOME AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE!?"

...It wasn't my choice. The axolotl had some bright idea for him to cope. I hate every bit of it. Do you want him?

[henchmaniac-ford]

"No, I don't want him. Why don't you shoot him with the quantum destabilizer

[one-sixer-please]

He's miserable enough already. He lost all his powers and is a janitor.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"I'm sure he believes that to be a fate worse than death, does he work under Stanley then?"

[one-sixer-please]

Worse, under Soos.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"The hairless gofer!?"

[one-sixer-please]

Yeah..

[henchmaniac-ford]

"that's.. You know now I'm starting to feel bad for the guy"

[one-sixer-please]

My offer still stands. You can have him.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"if I had him I would bury him alive"

[one-sixer-please]

*He sighed.* Look, I don't care what you do with him. I want him out of our lives. He can hardly count to four. It's not like he can fight back or anything.

[one-sixer-please]

"YOU'RE LETTING THAT THING STAY IN YOUR HOME AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE!?"

...It wasn't my choice. The axolotl had some bright idea for him to cope. I hate every bit of it. Do you want him?

[henchmaniac-ford]

"No, I don't want him. Why don't you shoot him with the quantum destabilizer

[one-sixer-please]

He's miserable enough already. He lost all his powers and is a janitor.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"I'm sure he believes that to be a fate worse than death, does he work under Stanley then?"

[one-sixer-please]

Worse, under Soos.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"The hairless gofer!?"

[one-sixer-please]

Yeah..

[henchmaniac-ford]

"that's.. You know now I'm starting to feel bad for the guy"

[one-sixer-please]

My offer still stands. You can have him.

[one-sixer-please]

"YOU'RE LETTING THAT THING STAY IN YOUR HOME AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE!?"

...It wasn't my choice. The axolotl had some bright idea for him to cope. I hate every bit of it. Do you want him?

[henchmaniac-ford]

"No, I don't want him. Why don't you shoot him with the quantum destabilizer

[one-sixer-please]

He's miserable enough already. He lost all his powers and is a janitor.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"I'm sure he believes that to be a fate worse than death, does he work under Stanley then?"

[one-sixer-please]

Worse, under Soos.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"The hairless gofer!?"

[one-sixer-please]

Yeah..

[one-sixer-please]

"YOU'RE LETTING THAT THING STAY IN YOUR HOME AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE!?"

...It wasn't my choice. The axolotl had some bright idea for him to cope. I hate every bit of it. Do you want him?

[henchmaniac-ford]

"No, I don't want him. Why don't you shoot him with the quantum destabilizer

[one-sixer-please]

He's miserable enough already. He lost all his powers and is a janitor.

[henchmaniac-ford]

"I'm sure he believes that to be a fate worse than death, does he work under Stanley then?"

[one-sixer-please]

Worse, under Soos.

[one-sixer-please]

HEYYY BABE! EHATS U- WAIY WHY DO YA LOOK A LIL BEAT UP? WHO FUCKING DUD IT???

- @askdrunkbillcipher

I got uh...kicked in the gut earlier. Just a scared kid. It's fine, love. I'm...in a lot of pain, but fine.

[askdrunkbillcipher]

WELL, PAIN IS HILARIOUS, BUT LIKW… HUMABS USUALLU DOMT LIKE IT… I DONT KNOW IF ITS RWALLY FINE

ALK HE DID WAS KUCK YA IN TH GUT, RIGHT? NOTHIN EKSE?

[one-sixer-please]

...Well he tried killing me, but-

[one-sixer-please]

@askbillcipherofficial

“SIXER! GET ME OUTTA THERAPRISM!! IT SUCKS IN HERE- NO CHAOS- NO NOTHING! I’M PRACTICALLY DOUBLE DYING IN HERE!”

How exactly would you want me to help you with that?

[one-sixer-please]

.......

*staaaaaare*

@badendingdipperz

Uh. Hi.

[badendingdipperz]

......you're alive

[one-sixer-please]

I...am alive, yes.

[badendingdipperz]

*fucking tackles him and starts searching him. Shining lights in his eyes etc etc pre portal ford style*

[one-sixer-please]

*He quickly picked Dipper up and held him away as if he were a rabid animal.* I'm not Bill, it is okay.

[badendingdipperz]

Why the fuck should I take your word for it. And there's a whole lotta things you could be that aren't Bill

[one-sixer-please]

...Are you okay? What happened in your universe..

[badendingdipperz]

*kicks him in the stomach*

[one-sixer-please]

*He winced in pain. His old man body started to kick in, and he dropped Dipper.* OW! I WAS- ughh..

[badendingdipperz]

*pulls out a gun*

What was your mother's maiden name?

[one-sixer-please]

ROMANOFF..?? I THINK??

[badendingdipperz]

*cocks it*

YOU THINK?

[one-sixer-please]

MY BOTHER BARELY SPOKE TO ME, LET ALONE TOLD ME HER MAIDEN NAME! I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN...LIKE 40 YEARS!

[badendingdipperz]

.....what's your middle name, then?

[one-sixer-please]

Filbrick.. My father's name.

[badendingdipperz]

*lowers the gun, but still looks suspicious*

[one-sixer-please]

Now could you tell me what's going on with you?

[badendingdipperz]

You're real.

[one-sixer-please]

I normally am, yes.

[badendingdipperz]

....promise?

[one-sixer-please]

I promise.

[badendingdipperz]

*immediate sprints and hugs him*

[one-sixer-please]

*He hugged back.* Are you okay..? Do you not have a me in your universe? what's going on?

[badendingdipperz]

mmm- dunno. Haven't seen you in months . Could be dead.

[one-sixer-please]

...Oh. Oh my. What else happened?

[badendingdipperz]

.....'s a long story

[one-sixer-please]

I have time to listen.

[badendingdipperz]

uhhh.... What part are you at. In your universe. Like.... Apocalypse-wise

[one-sixer-please]

2 years past it. If you're referring to Weirdmageddon.

[badendingdipperz]

Ah. Uh.... Mine never ended.

[one-sixer-please]

Never..?

[badendingdipperz]

*nods*

The world ended, Grunkle Ford.

[one-sixer-please]

...I'm so sorry.