Wise Fool

[everybodylikesyou]

[daily-garfield]

04/13/05

[one-smart-cookie]

SHIT! this got me fucked up

[goochie-mane]

When you in bed having an imaginary argument with someone and in your head they say some out of pocket shit

[mugglesofficial]

im SCREAMIBG

[cumdealer-deactivated20200206]

YOU ARE KIDDING ME

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

I think, therefore

[mydogsnokes-deactivated20150723]

not gonna lie i’m pretty uncomfortable like all the time

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[darkislovelyyyy]

This shit is still funny

[candiikismet]

Lmao what the hell!

[maesterroshi-deactivated2020041]

Lmfao fuck that’s me

[yafavblogger]

Why was he in jail?

[hi-imkingdavid]

[hallaisme247]

@illmaticraj right now

[booziebooz]

Yeah I wanna know what he did cuz in all honesty if he r*ped this girl I don’t wanna be supporting him and shit by reblogging

[quasmellito]

Facts

[ellsworthej]

Nah he sold some weed to a undercover and used this as a pickup line

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

Ok in that case lmfaoooooooo

[manticoreimaginary]

New Zealand’s new water safety mascot is amazing and his instagram is a gift

[spybrarian]

OKAY I just noticed the thing @manticoreimaginary FORGOT TO MENTION is that his name is the Swim Reaper.

[princesconsuela]

4 stages of stress

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

this shit intense

[kngshxt-deactivated20180831]

got damn bro i was stressed out lmaoo

[hungwy]

[we-kant-even]

ayn rand: *pronounces a philosophy that attempts to justify inequity as it exists in our current systems by disavowing altruism of any kind and reinforcing traditional prejudices such as racism and homophobia*

libertarians:

[one-smart-cookie]

me n my plant gf

me:bby ur hand is so thin

her:that me leaf

[saltysapphics]

13 year old me was soooo damn proud of not being like other girls because I wasn’t “‘‘‘‘‘boy crazy’‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘ hooty hoo dumbass there’s a reason for that

[marvelparkcheersquad]

[goaliemagics]

me: stutters out fifteen sentence fragments that no-one can make sense of not even me me: you know?

[one-smart-cookie]

me talking to myself: good point

[one-smart-cookie]

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

Please respect my work process: just do it the way I told you to and stop arguing with me, I don't care what you think