The majority of the stuff I write is NSFW, so if you’re a minor please get out 🔞
I am very much an amateur writer. I do this stuff for a hobby, and my work is not the most polished stuff in the world. And that’s fine! I mainly started doing this to get back into writing, and because the fandoms I’m in don’t have a ton of fics.
I do take requests! I can’t always guarantee they’ll be done in a punctual manner, but I’d love to give it a go.
ive been the busiest person on planet earth this past month but holy fuck? caped crusader season 2? and they genderbent another character??? and the fanboys are NOT taking it well?????
give me a week. just one week, and I will cave and write yuri between them.
if we’re being honest the shirts should probably be the other way around, but i like the vaguely threatening aura this configuration carries. easily the hardest part was trying to figure out how to style a fedora and t shirt together without it giving Reddit moderator. that, and i never feel like i can get Oz’s beautiful nose right
How Rupert be looking once he seen Penguin in that dress. Also need more of her . I need more fanfics of her. Also came across this amazing woman this year.
I’m back in the fanfic mines and i come bearing cute self-indulgent x reader (what else is new?)
this one came to me after way too many long nights working on various readings and managing to get absolutely nothing done. if only i had a beautiful and slightly intimidating woman to convince me to go to bed at a reasonable time, but otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this, would i?
just a quick lil fanfic this time, i haven’t had much time to proofread lately but i had this one in my drafts for a while and finally finished it.
unlike some of my other works, this one IS actually SFW, but be warned that my other works are not usually, so proceed with caution on the rest of my account.
Full fic under the cut, ao3 link here:
“Now, now, come to bed.”
You hardly registered a word she said. You’d been hard at work for so long, you were blind to anything else. The natural light from the window had been dwindling steadily for a while now (minutes? Hours? Who was to say?), leaving you squinting at your papers in the lamp’s dull glow. Even as the words blended together and your head lolled closer to the desk, fighting to keep your eyes open, there was work to be done, and so work is what you had to do.
“Such a hard worker,” Oz cooed, suddenly behind you. She leaned her head on your shoulder, peering at the mess of papers. “You’ve been at it a while, haven’t you?”
You tried to find a stopping point in your writing, but all of a sudden your hands couldn’t seem to hold a pen. That warm, lilting voice just did something to you, which wasn’t helped by the fact that she seemed to be nuzzling your neck. “You’ve been in this same spot since I left.”
She wasn’t wrong. Losing your focus made all the sensations you’d been ignoring all the more apparent. Your whole body ached, especially the wrist and back, your eyes could hardly focus, and exhaustion and delirium clouded your brain like a boiler room.
“Maybe I do need some rest, just for a moment…”
Oz nodded. “It’s terribly late, you know. Won’t you come to bed with me?”
Her voice trailed off breathily in the last few words, filling them with potential. You couldn’t even tell if she was trying to insinuate anything, or if she was just always this irresistible to you. She put a hand over yours, interlacing the fingers and successfully pulling you to your feet. She spun you gracefully to face her, chuckling at how surprised you seemed.
Trying not to fall over, you wrapped your arms around Oz’s waist. Pressed against her like this, your heartbeat was in your ears. Your mouth went dry, beads of sweat forming on your warm face. Not that you minded resting your head on her ample chest, huffing in her unique scent of amber and tobacco and powdery lilacs.
Your eyes met hers, half-lidded and dewy. Your faces inched ever closer, silently, nervously.
Staying in this embrace a moment, Oz spoke first.
“May I kiss you?”
“I… I don’t know if that’s the best idea…”
“Why not?” She sighed. Her lips were inches away now, nose touching yours.
“I just know that if I start, I’ll never be able to stop…”
Against your better judgment your lips brushed against hers. You could feel her smiling against your mouth. Her lips were soft, remnants of lipstick clinging to them, the lingering taste of cigarette ash and brandy. She draped her arms casually over your shoulders, going slack, content to know she had you right where she wanted you.
You kissed her hungrily, desperately despite your exhaustion, only now realizing just how much you needed this. Needed *her.* The work could wait. Right now, being here, in her arms, at her mercy, was all that mattered.
Oz pulled away first, wordlessly grabbing your hand and guiding you out of the office. The work would pile up like it always did, but lying next to her, breaths and heartbeats synchronized, made it all feel easier.
idk if anyone still keeps track of this acct but ive decided not to post my nsfw fics here anymore, i don’t want to fight with tumblr’s censorship and clog up otherwise sfw tags w/ nsfw out of nowhere, it feels gross and violating and i wish id never done it to begin with. might still post sfw and wips but otherwise im delegating that all to my secret Twitter and ao3 (which I’ll post when they’re better curated)
ive recently been informed that “chaise lounge” is a weird and fancy word by one of my friends, and I’ve just been using it in my fics like everyone knows what it is
do yall know what a chaise lounge is without googling it or have i been coming off as a pretentious French speaker this whole time
Without looking it up, do you know what a chaise lounge is?
i think ao3 should have a feature like an anonymous kudos but instead of kudos its "i jorked it to completion" and you can leave as many of these as you want and obviously authors would opt-in to this feature on a per-fic basis but like. i want the stats, you know.
jerk it to fanfiction??? noooo bro i was just joshing ya. wouldnt that be crazy? haha. fucking got you bro i cant believe youre so gullible. what a far fetched notion. that people would do such a thing. cant believe you fell for it
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#acta…?
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so turns out when you have a panic attack at the doctor bc they try to do an internal ultrasound on you it unlocks years of trauma from that highly invasive and controversial medical procedure you got done as a child
anyway i figure my smutty fanfiction sideblog can also be used for my weird vent poetry
doctor’s office
you are eight years old.
you get to leave school early today
you sit in the front seat, just tall enough, snacking on turkey sandwiches and Thin Mints
you have to go to a big doctor in the big city
you’re outgrowing your little girl body
they put your hand in an x-ray, palm splayed against the cold shiny glass
your mom leaves to talk to the nurse
you can’t tell what they’re saying, lots of choppy punctuated words
“we call it her-”
“frog position”
“contrast dye”
“only takes a minute”
she comes back and for the first time in a while, holds your hand
the doctor shows you on the teddy bear what she’s doing
you pick out a movie
your back hits the cot
the paper feels crunchy
breathe in
breathe out
ouch
please
make it stop
i don’t like this
it feels full
*snap*
shoot
screwed up
take it out
there’s so much blood
don’t look
the room is cold
there’s one two three four five red ceiling tiles
no no red please
one two three four five six seven eight
all done
wipe yourself off
you are quiet the whole ride home
you get the results back months later
she has the hands of a thirteen year old
you are twenty-three
you ask your mom why
why couldn’t i do it
the nurse said she’d hold my hand
i was all ready to go
“you can try holding it yourself”
“tell me how i can make it easier”
warm jelly
firm hands still can’t see everything
you sob into your hands
feet shaking in the stirrups
one two three four five-
i can’t
i can’t
im sorry
you mention being eight
“i don’t remember *that*”
when you get home you will put words to your condition
you will find a lawsuit
two years too late
“i had always just remembered it
as some form of nightmare”
As kids, they underwent a common test for UTIs. As adults, it haunts them as a traumatic "nightmare."
i need a boyfriend. i need a girlfriend. i need to be single forever. i need a toxic situationship. i need a problematically older man to be homoerotically involved with. i need to have gay sex. i need no one to ever touch me ever again in any way. i need top surgery. i need a hug.
thats A Lot Of Beetles @onemillionbeetles - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
