B(achelor of Fine Arts Screenwriting)LOG

Some good, wholesome fun.

[beingemmasuits-blog]

Goldilocks: Wearbear Hunter - Locks and Loaded…

[onepageold-blog]

Honestly some of the most gut-wrenching, hard-hitting and beautiful dialogue I have ever had the honour to read. 

[onepageold-blog]

[onepageold-blog]

You get a little sketch of my hero to boot!! 

[unboundfamiliar]

#vcascreenwriting

[doorperson]

Top stuff. Real well coordinated - with the setting and them all spitting together and the gun funnies - which is a prerequisite for any and everything in the actual show, so well done you. Flowed well, and everyone felt authentic and true to what little of American Papa I’ve actually seen. Nice

[onepageold-blog]

While I think here and there it does stray into easy potshots at the “AMERICA!! FREEDOM!!” attitude, one the whole it was a great read! Especially loved the recurring Prius joke! 

[saraidtaylor]

recommendation: don’t read this hahahah #helpme

possibly may have not found time to watch more episodes so sorry to any diehards 

[onepageold-blog]

Good stuff. Loved the juxtaposition with the serene morning with the hungover pair. Good dialogue from Klaus but I would’ve liked Rodger to be a little less mean. 

[onepageold-blog]

OK guys, please don’t judge me for the crude jokes in here. I’m writing as Seth Macfarlane NOT as myself. 

[onepageold-blog]

MOOOD for 1984 

[cappychino49]

Blog Entry 1.pdf

10-12 pager - response to inciting incident, obstacle #1, response to obstacle #1

[onepageold-blog]

Gosh, Thora is an absolute force of nature! Really well characterized. You can tell through her dialogue that she’s much more that a purely spiteful guard - that said there is definitely some antagonistic spite in there which makes her all the more terrifying. Only thing would be to make sure she doesn’t become the main character!  

[onepageold-blog]

SCP (Working Title) - a little more.pdf

Hey, all! So I’ve rearranged the story a little bit so I thought it might be easier to understand if I just upload from the beginning again! So here it is!  Set up, Inciting incident, response to the inciting incident, obstacle #1, response to obstacle #1 and obstacle #2. 

[onepageold-blog]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vRBjHY7ReE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLfm2nnCOpc

Mood!! 

[giordano-david-blog]

Week 9 Industry Perspectives.

Cringe.

[beingemmasuits-blog]

This is magnificent! I love how you are using Venice as a backdrop. The world, characters and events are extremely original and well defined, and I think you are working with gold here, Jordan! I am excited to read more!

[onepageold-blog]

Alive! 

Absolutely beautiful and atmospheric description of the world and a lovely backdrop to such an interesting character dynamic. One thing though, I think perhaps I would’ve liked the inciting incident to be a little clearer.

[arithesocialmedialover-blog]

yea changed my story again. floris back tho. but more badass. maybe i can fit this one into 10-12 pages. okbye gtg

[onepageold-blog]

Savage sums it up nicely. 

A compelling action scene with some lovely and vivid description. Particularly like the punchy one-word sentences - made the read feel like we were falling through the same fast moving landscape as Floris and Ella. Would’ve like a bit more of characterisation Floris - right now she sounds a tiny bit like the stock lost, little girl, but I'm sure that’ll come. Also is the VO at the end meant to be from Floris or Ella?? 

[onepageold-blog]

Set up, inciting incident and obstacle one. 

[onepageold-blog]

Tram ride plot descriptions

Set-up We find Adachi in the middle of an experiment, totally in control, ordering scientists from behind a reinforced viewing screen. We can hear otherworldly shrieks from the room they are observing. Adachi is in his element here and all the other scientists have nothing but respect for him. Inciting Incident Adachi orders a certain type of stimulus to be introduced into the experiment (say a chemical injection or an object placed in the room) - Something slams into the glass barrier, it breaks as a surge of power runs through the facility - destroying much of the control panels. Adachi is faced by a hauling mass of teeth and fur emerging from the room (MO345). Protagonist’s action taken in response to Inciting Incident Pull out to reveal a disheveled Adachi watching the archival footage over and over again - trying to find out how MO345 escaped, or at least, how he survived. We see the 'Eugene Adachi - archive clerk' sign on his cubicle Obstacle #1 encountered in the course of taking action Tapping through the footage he catches a glimpse of a very thin dark entity between himself and MO just as MO goes to attack him. He recognises it, another entity, SO236, Slim. Protagonist’s response to Obstacle Shaken, he runs to find the archival footage of the prisoners he tested with SO236 (Slim) - each black and white reel starts with a short description of SO236 and the prisoner. He watches D'Arcy, the former hitman, who cries out 'I didn't realise', sobs, became catatonic and overnight tried to strip out his own veins. He watches Dee, the teen who murdered the priest she accused of abusing her, who merely cries quietly when with the room with Slim. (During the footage his assistant Margaret is filming and she is sycophantic towards Adachi and he is clearly her boss and is introduced in the footage as head researcher. He is formal, serious, and unconsciously dismissive of the SCPs and prisoners). Obstacle #2 encountered in the course of taking action (if appropriate) As he watched the experiment logs over and over again, Margaret comes by and throws a file down on his desk. She is wearing an ID tag (head researcher). He quickly turns off the projector, but she’s seen it. Saying something condescendingly kind about him needing to stop reliving the past Margaret forces Adachi to hand over the tapes he’s watching and from his failed experiment ‘for his own good’. She also warns him about having to let him go if he doesn’t focus on his new job. Adachi mutters something about SO236 being behind the escape of MO345 but she just scolds him more - it was his fault, no one else's. She also mentions that it was a miracle MO suddenly decided to crawl back into it’s cage - seemingly terrified of something. Protagonist’s response to Obstacle Unable to consult the tapes, a desperate Adachi sneaks away from his desk and makes his way for the cell in which Prisoner Dee is located. He asks her about SO236. He still speaks like the SCP's are vicious and not to be trusted. Dee is not helpful but drops the hint that he has no idea about the SCPs and studies them like insects/viruses, rather than sentient beings. On his way back he notices the tapes on Margaret’s empty desk - he sits and watches the failed experiment once again, this time with a new perspective. Suddenly - it becomes clear that SO236 was guarding him from MO, moreover, it shows that MO was only returned to its containment after because SO236 managed to touched it. Obstacle #3 encountered in the course of taking action (if appropriate) Returning to his desk with this new revelation he is confronted by Margaret and a number of security personnel waiting for him. He tries to raise his suspicions with Margaret that SO236 tried to help during MO’s escape. She dismisses him as the idea of a helpful SCP is unheard of. Instead, she fires him - suggesting that the accident has affected his reasoning. Protagonist’s response to Obstacle As he is being escorted out, Adachi makes a run for it, breaking away from Margaret and her team. He runs towards the control panel for all the containment quarters. Locking himself in the room he does the unthinkable and opens SO236’s containment. Story ending – Reward or Reversal? And why? Outside we hear the crying of the team as SO236 makes its way towards the door. All is quiet. The Alarms turn off. Adachi opens the door and the the team is waiting for him completely calm. Margaret watches him. SO236 appears in the middle of them. Aaaand something happens (gotta iron this one out)

[onepageold-blog]

AKIRA - Kaneda's Theme

The theme for Kaneda from the movie AKIRA. Movie directed by Katsuhiro Ōtomo himself, who is also the creator of the manga AKIRA. The song was made by Geinō ...

[1000storyideas]

Ambient sounds for writers

Find the right place to write your novel… 

Nature

Arctic ocean

Blizzard in village

Blizzard in pine forest

Blizzard from cave

Blizzard in road

Beach

Cave

Ocean storm

Ocean rocks with rain

River campfire

Forest in the morning

Forest at night

Forest creek

Rainforest creek

Rain on roof window

Rain on tarp tent

Rain on metal roof

Rain on window

Rain on pool

Rain on car at night

Seaside storm

Swamp at night

Sandstorm

Thunderstorm

Underwater

Wasteland

Winter creek

Winter wind

Winter wind in forest

Howling wind

Places

Barn with rain

Coffee shop

Restaurant with customers

Restaurant with few customers

Factory

Highway

Garden

Garden with pond and waterfall

Fireplace in log living room

Office 

Call center

Street market

Study room from victorian house with rain

Trailer with rain

Tent with rain

Jacuzzi with rain

Temple

Temple in afternoon

Server room

Fishing dock

Windmill

War

Fictional places

Chloe’s room (Life is Strange)

Blackwell dorm (Life is Strange)

Two Whales Diner (Life is Strange)

Star Wars apartment (Star Wars)

Star Wars penthouse (Star Wars)

Tatooine (Star Wars)

Coruscant with rain (Star Wars)

Yoda’s hut with rain ( Star Wars)

Luke’s home (Star Wars)

Death Star hangar (Star wars)

Blade Runner city (Blade Runner)

Askaban prison (Harry Potter)

Hogwarts library with rain (Harry Potter)

Ravenclaw tower (Harry Potter)

Hufflepuff common room (Harry Potter)

Slytherin common room (Harry Potter)

Gryffindor common room (Harry Potter)

Hagrid’s hut (Harry Potter)

Hobbit-hole house (The Hobbit)

Diamond City (Fallout 4)

Cloud City beach (Bioshock)

Founding Fathers Garden (Bioshock)

Things

Dishwasher

Washing machine

Fireplace

Transportation

Boat engine room

Cruising boat

Train ride

Train ride in the rain

Train station

Plane trip

Private jet cabin

Airplane cabin

Airport lobby

First class jet

Sailboat

Submarine

Historical

Fireplace in medieval tavern

Medieval town

Medieval docks

Medieval city

Pirate ship in tropical port

Ship on rough sea

Ship cabin

Ship sleeping quarter

Titanic first class dining room

Old west saloon

Sci-fi

Spaceship bedroom

Space station

Cyberpunk tearoom

Cyberpunk street with rain

Futuristic server room

Futuristic apartment with typing

Futuristic rooftop garden 

Steampunk balcony rain

Post-apocalyptic

Harbor with rain

City with rain

City ruins turned swamp

Rusty sewers

Train station

Lighthouse

Horror

Haunted mansion

Haunted road to tavern

Halloween

Stormy night

Asylum

Creepy forest

Cornfield

World

New York

Paris

Paris bistro

Tokyo street

Chinese hotel lobby

Asian street at nightfall

Asian night market

Cantonese restaurant

Coffee shop in Japan

Coffee shop in Paris

Coffee shop in Korea

British library

Trips, rides and walkings

Trondheim - Bodø

Amsterdam - Brussels

Glasgow - Edinburgh

Oxford - Marylebone

Seoul - Busan

Gangneung - Yeongju

Hiroshima

Tokyo metro

Osaka - Kyoto

Osaka - Kobe

London

São Paulo

Seoul

Tokyo

Bangkok

Ho Chi Minh (Saigon)

Alps

New York

Hong Kong

Taipei

[kylo-im-ren]

To the person/people who took the time to do this, thank you so much 

[onepageold-blog]

The story begins with Adachi’s failed experiment. It's revealed what we are watching is archival footage that Eugene is watching over and over again, trying to discern what went wrong. Scanning the footage, by chance he lands on a frame in which another entity is present, standing between him and the escaped creature. He recognises it - he has experimented on it in the past - retrieving the archival footage of those experiments he watches test subject after test subject (death row prisoners signed onto the foundation to stay alive) encounter the new entity and go mad - all but one by the name of Dee. He goes to find info about Dee but is stopped by his scientific supervisor, Margaret, who forces him to hand over all the tapes citing mental instability. He sneaks away from his post and visits Dee who reveals that not all entities are bad and begs him to release the new entity. He steals the archival footage from Margaret and rewatches it, realising that the only way they recaptured the escaped creature was with the help of the good entity. As Margaret hunts him down he does the unthinkable and releases the entity. It's revealed it makes you relive the memories of those you have hurt the most - the embodiment of empathy, a primal and natural force in the world, that the foundation has unknowingly trapped away in their facilities. It is released.