VCA Screenwriting @cappychino49 - Tumblr Blog

Background for the scene: Goldie has been in the attic for a week or so now, and her and Baby Bear are starting to become friends. (Goldie being an agent and Baby being a 10-year-old Austrian kid who looks heaps like her).

Mama Bear saw someone get taken away in town or maybe saw a poster of a missing rogue agent, and has had the idea of offering her services to the occupying forces i.e. help in the kitchens, wash their uniforms, essentially enlist. Papa Bear is overcome with worry, pleading with her to run, out of fear for her and their family. They had a fight about it earlier.

cappychino49

Very vivd and detailed in the movement and choreography of the characters. I love that the music becomes a unifying force which unites the characters together in mood despite the characters being placed in difference spaces. I also liked the visual merging of the scenes with the use of the moonlit-circle/fingers and record player motifs. I would love to see that visualised. Brava!

Blog Task - Plotting - Pataphysical Blockbusters

The story is set in German-occupied Poland during the Second World War.

Golde E Lochz is a trained field agent and is a member of the German secret service.

During a previous assignment, Golde refused to carry out orders due to a crisis of conscience and subsequently released an Allies prisoner of war, allowing him to escape across enemy lines. Her act of defiance did not go unnoticed. The SS subsequently branded her as a traitor to the Motherland.

Since then, Golde E Lochz has been on the run and the authorities have been trying to track her down ever since. The authorities fear that she will defect and share the German Secret Service’s intelligence with the Allied forces. And that is exactly what she intends to do

Where we pick up is when Golde E Lochz has taken refuge in the Bears' house. She has stayed there for a period of time. During her time there, Golde and the Bears have grown to know each other and they regard each other with a level of mutual respect and perhaps affection, of a familial sort. They continue to live a rather harmonious bucolic life until someone comes knocking on their door...

Intentional referencesmade to certain films include: Inglourious Basterds, Leon:The Professional.

wentocolesandstolemeat

Three college bears rent a cabin in the woods, throw a party in an attempt to relive their friend of his virginity.

ZACHARY MCDONALD - BLOCKBUSTER BLOG TASK

cappychino49

The style and tone of college frat humour is evident which is great and you really get a sense of the three distinct personalities/college moulds that the three bears have assumed in this story. Awesome.

cybiont

CODENAME: G.O.L.D.I.L.O.C.K.S

COMNG OUT THIS SUMMER

cappychino49

Great script and a great intro into the character of Goldilocks as a killer agent. The details are fantastic and wonderfully adds to the tone of the piece e.g the pearl-gun, the garter, red light district. The references to other films such as Atomic Blonde is wonderfully implied. Finally, the presence of Coco Chanel is fantastic and instantly cements the timeframe of the story in place, the idea that she collaborates with the military and secret service is superb idea and really fits! Kudos, another fab piece.

giordano-david-blog

Blog Task 2 - Superheroes & Supervillains

Wake me up, (WAKE ME UP INSIDE).

cappychino49

Holy Mother Of God, I was in Florence, I was in the orphanage, I was in Asha’s mindscape just from reading these four pages. What an incredibly immersive world this is, as with all the worlds you create in your work. Excellent. The characterisation of Asha is dense and deep, one can sense the nature of her wounds and her longing to stay in touch with Andrezj. Brava, I loved this.

vivaciousignatius-deactivated20

Danni and I mixed the stories of Slice and Diplomacy Boy.

Slice is a 10 year old with razor sharp fingernails. She was trained in the mansion of Felix in the Ivory Coast. She’s a lethal fighter, and has the uncanny ability to read through people’s words to detect the true intentions of their words.

Diplomacy Boy is the product of government secrecy. Killed in action and brought back to life 10 years later by a top secret branch of the United States Army, Diplomacy Boy goes into war torn nations under the ruse of a United Nations figure. He is a highly trained mercenary, and shares many abilities with Slice…

This scene comes midway through the story, as Felix plans to off the local government officials of his neighbourhood and gain financial and political control of the region in their absence.

Get amongst it!

cappychino49

The action is amazing, propulsive and vivid. What I admire is your ability to include so much in the given page length without sacrificing clarity or overwhelming the reader. This is especially testament to that, given that this is an action sequence. Diplomacy Boy’s agility and stealth slays right through the pages.

I wonder who could do this 4-pager justice, Paul Greengrass? Neill Blomkamp? Michael Bay (this may divide people)? #fantasyrecruiting.

Mint material!

nedunimelb

cappychino49

Great two-hander and there’s a great comic conflict which arises out of the exchange between Brett and Ben. Ben is a comic superhero which is refreshing to see. You’ve already signed a catch-phrase for the hero which is great ‘Namaste’. Top stuff.

Blog task - Plotting - Superheroes

The superhero is called Slice. Real name: Bernice Fou.

Slice is a 10-year old girl who has the ability to (literally) sharpen anything at will. She can sharpen or serrate materials which occupy the physical universe e.g. stone, rubber, plastic, steel, fabric, even air.

Slice can sharpen these materials via telepathy or through touch.

And she slices like a mother.

Slice was born without a mouth which has forced her to convey expression through movement of the body and through the eyes. This perhaps explains her extreme agility and precision as a combatant.

She lives with her father. A lonely industrialist who could never pin down a wife and out of selfishness or perhaps sheer lonliness, chose to have a child.

Her father is played by Vincent Cassel (no negotiations, fantasy casting).

I apologize, it is one-and-a-bit pages over the limit but one can easily stop on the 4th.

Cheers :)

regular-old-plumbus

This was a painful exercise.

cappychino49

Mint moments in the kitchen and in the jungle Jas, it's a yes from me! Roger's voice really sings through and we really get a sense of Francine's and her concerns for the family in the wake of Stan's 'death'. the montage is great, an endearing snapshot of the potential that lies in father-daughter bonding but also provides an insight into Klaus' machievellian attempts to muscle into the father-shaped void. Brill

onepageold-blog

OK guys, please don’t judge me for the crude jokes in here. I’m writing as Seth Macfarlane NOT as myself.

cappychino49

Great comic opening scene and setup with the day-after-party. The theme of the said party encapsulates Roger's tastes brilliantly. Great throughline of jokes. A great feat you've achieved is highlighting the key dynamics between members of the family in just four pages e.g. Roger's randiness, estranged father-son relationship between Stan and Steve, Hayley's pro-ecological passions etc.

Brava!

unboundfamiliar

#vcascreenwriting

cappychino49

Brill, the density of gags and jokes were great to sink the teeth into and I felt the moments definitely encapsulated the quick-fire pacing of Mcfarlane and American Dad. The rifle exchanged for a pistol is beaut, the characterisation of each member of the family was also great.

Blog Task - Plotting - Comedy

latenightprosciutto

Week 12: Screenplays

Scream: I loved this one. I loved how instant it was, how engaging it was, and how fun it was to read. The style was lean, economic, but very careful with words, and the connection they’d make with the reader when read on the page. Reading Kevin Williamson’s script inspired that care with my own words, and a concision that makes a script easy and fun to read, exciting when it’s exciting, slow and gradual when it’s tense.

Brokeback Mountain: Initially, I was a little skeptical. It seemed to rub against the style Williamson had made so appealing to me in Scream. But Diana Ossana and Larry McMurty’s script was a grower. It took more time describing the landscape (an integral part of the film), and went in more depth than I would ever think to. But it also was not afraid to tell us what the characters were thinking. Not in an intrusive, lazy way. But a considered, helpful approach, that I try and emulate in my writing.

Psycho: This was so meticulous in its articulation of shot and image. Joseph Stefano was exact, in that every line break indicated a new shot, a new idea. He was in a way, directing it through implication, which I really like. I try very hard to stick to that rule now, and it feels strange to do anything else.

cappychino49

Ditto about the economy of Williamson’s style in Scream. He really cut off all the fat from the script, leaving only the vital and vivid beats of the story.

Mint observation about Stefano’s script for Psycho. I did not realise this until you pointed this out and it is very true: the formatting of the big print is intelligently considered and it does serve as a prime exemplar for how each new line can provide an opportunity to create new visuals, new shots; establishing a clean and concise directorial guide. Brill.

beingemmasuits-blog

Week 12- Industry Perspectives

Scream – Kevin Williamson

What I enjoyed the most about this script is Williamson’s short, and punching dialogue. It made for a fast paced, exciting read. His big-print too, is concise and to the point. Williamson does not get too caught up in the minute details of painting a setting, and instead delivers heart-pumping action that is thrilling for the reader. After reading this, I have cut back on my big print, only including what is absolutely necessary for the scene to be interpreted correctly by the reader and the director.

Psycho – Joseph Stephano

What makes this a stellar script, is that Joseph Stephano capitalizes on his use of suspense, making the read just as thrilling and suspenseful as the on-screen product. He does so by subtly releasing more and more details about the character, so that we know just enough to follow them on their journey, but not too much so that it ruins the surprise. As a fan of the horror genre, watching this skill being implemented was extremely valuable to me being an aspiring horror writer. I have learned that a horror script should be just as thrilling for the reader as the viewer, and that suspense should be my #1 tool.

Brokeback Mountain – Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana

For a film that relies greatly on building a strong relationship between two characters, Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana have excelled in submersing their readers into a vivid world, where we can project the story of Ennis and Jack. This script contrasts greatly against Kevin Williamson’s Scream in terms of big-print, but for this story, it works. They have added an excess about of detail, and included many establishing shots of the countryside, but the consequence of this is that the reader has a complete sense of setting and world, allowing Ennis and Jack’s relationship to feel even more real. What I have learned from reading this is that to make a world and a relationship feel authentic, I shouldn’t be afraid of big-print, so long as it does not distract from the action and pacing of the story.

cappychino49

Ditto Emma, I also admire the economy of text and the sparse amount of big print in the Scream screenplay. His choice of words provide maximum punch which propels the pace of the story and creates such vivid images of the brutality of the killer.

It’s great that you reminded me of the incredible craft of suspense and the ability to create this in a script such as Psycho. Its gradual reveal of everything is masterful and each detail is dropped onto the reader’s lap one by one which draws the reader to turn the page in order to get more.

giordano-david-blog

Last Bloggo, Indust. Pers.

Brokeback Mountain

The screenplay for Brokeback Mountain really spoke to me due to how literary it was and how much prose it actually featured. Even though we’re encouraged to be as precise and economic with our language as possible, it was refreshing to see this in a script that was so well-received and praised. I enjoy a bit of quality prose, and I do think that it has a place in scripts when it contributes to the quality and the tone of the story, as it did in Brokeback Mountain. The descriptions of the landscape, how it matched the story, and how cinematic and vivid it was was truly brilliant in my eyes and it kept me reading despite the pace of the overall story being quite slow.

The Piano

Another slow tale, and one that must have been quite challenging for Campion to write as the protagonist doesn’t speak. What I really admired about this screenplay is, like with Brokeback, how cinematic, vivid and melancholic it was, and how amazingly the writing actually captured this. However what I really adored about it was how alive Ada, the protagonist, felt. Despite being mute, her presence on the page was loud and poetic and raw, and we truly got a glimpse into this world of colonialism through the eyes of somebody who doesn’t speak. Not only that, but how music and the recurring motif of the piano not only informs the character and gives her a way to communicate and drive her and her story forward. The piano is a powerful part of the story and having something symbolic in a future script is certainly something I’d like to explore.

The Big Lebowski

The first 10 pages are an absolute ride and a joy to read. To thrust a character into the story so quickly was surprising and nerve-wracking, and the introduction he receives through narration was something that I was quite drawn to. A world and a character were neatly summarised in two, maybe three, pages in a kind of ‘no bullshit’ way. There’s a story to tell about this specific character and it doesn’t waste time and the pace it set was so engaging and certainly a technique to consider if you’re not feeling like a lengthy set-up.

cappychino49

I agree whole-heartedly about the joy of reading scripts which incorporate fantastic literary big print without compromising the length or quality of the text. Brokeback Mountain and The Piano certainly did that for me.

Big Lebowski is a different beast altogether and is a great tale of mistaken identity gone bombastic. I concur that it has a vivid sense of pace and drive with a thread of comedy and wit that's sewn all the way through.

Blog Task

Scream:

Williamson is a master in the art of economy and demonstrates skill in creating big print in as few words as possible but with maximum punch.

Williamson’s choice of words provide maximum punch which propels the pace of the story and creates such vivid images of the brutality of the killer.

Brokeback Mountain:

The writers have an ability to create dialogue that carries profound subtext especially in characters who are reticent yet complex (Ennis). Also, the ability to establish a pattern of speech that is genuine and true to a certain cultural dialect (in this case, the deep south of United States).

The script also is a great example of adaptation and shows us a way to translate short-story prose into a screenplay form without losing the depth of the characters nor the poetry of the text.

I found the big print to be incredibly affecting, especially in the moments where it captures the unspoken turmoil between the two characters.

Big Lebowski:

The Coen Brothers incorporate a narrator that is both enigmatic and distinctive in voice and point-of-view. To have the narrator infuse his own personal voice through the narration whilst slowly building an enigmatic/enticing picture of the protagonist without giving too much away is a great way to draw one’s attention.

Also, clever plotting and the use of plot devices which subvert audience’s expectations is something I would like to integrate in the future.

PSW Blog - Moodboard

Moodboard for film ‘Archipelago’ dir. Joanna Hogg

Archipelago is a film directed by Joanna Hogg. It centres around a young man, Edward, as he embarks on a family holiday before he sets off for Africa doing volunteer educational work.

The family holiday takes place on the Isles of Scilly, Tresco in England.

The shots are static. The aesthetics of the film are particularly striking and reminiscent of the colour palette seen jn Vilhelm Hammershoi's paintings. The tone is muted and the perspectives are quite detached however, it provides scope for the characters to engage with the space around them. This allows the director to convey the emotional and psychological state of the characters in question. There is a tension between Edward and his sister (who is also on the trip) which is spatially conveyed by the vast vistas of space that exists between them in most frames of the film. The muted greys and whites are also expressions of the family’s angst with each other which is suppressed and almost dulled due to attrition and upper-class stoicism.

The landscape and topography of Tresco also features greatly in the film. Again, its vistas and unkempt wildness provides a physical landscape for the characters to roam around and reflect; an open space to release their innermost fears about life, about their future and about their dynamics as a family. Something that they would not be able to do if they remained in the constrained alleys and vertical edifices of London.

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