will seduce you with a single polygon

Rouge the Bat, the ultimate treasure hunter. Any jewels you see belong to me, so you'd better hand them over before I make you.

[eggfucker17]

Stray cats ran off with my dick again

[onepolygonbitch]

THAT WAS BLAZE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. APOLOGIZE.

[onepolygonbitch]

I wish cats were real :/

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

meow

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

meow indeed ☕️

[knucklesblubblub]

*meows in british*

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

british?

lock 'im up, boys

[ski-skam]

British? I was British once

They locked me in a room

A British room

A British room of Brits

The Brits made me British

…British?

IWASBRITISHONCE

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

PLEASE GOD NOT AGAIN

[onepolygonbitch]

What happened to my post

[violetfinalform-deactivated2024]

Sadly I'm serving a life long sentence in horny jail

[onepolygonbitch]

I wish cats were real :/

[eggfucker17]

You literally are a cat?

[onepolygonbitch]

Fucking.

what

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

eggman what are you yapping about

[eggfucker17]

Is she not a cat???

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

nah man she’s a bat 😭

SINCE WHEN COULD CATS FLY HM? SINCE WHEN

[onepolygonbitch]

Eggman. Dude. You've addressed me as Rouge the Bat MULTIPLE TIMES. Like sonic said, I HAVE WINGS AND I FLY.

[onepolygonbitch]

I wish cats were real :/

[eggfucker17]

You literally are a cat?

[onepolygonbitch]

Fucking.

what

[onepolygonbitch]

I wish cats were real :/

[onepolygonbitch]

Lookie what I got

[eggfucker17]

Martha got my dick in the divorce

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

sorry man…. she gave it to me

[eggfucker17]

WHAT. YOU HAVE MY DICK???? MY EGGDICK??? HOW DO YOU EVEN USE THAT

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

have you not noticed it was gone? i mean you’d use it like any normal dick-

[eggfucker17]

I only piss once every five years so that I have enough piss built up to destroy the moon

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

ooooh that’s how that works

yeah i was kinda wondering abt no you would be able to piss so hard it destroyed the moon

but how do you, like, hold it for that long

[eggfucker17]

Every time i have the urge to piss I think of Martha. I'm not sure what this means but it works

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

so hypothetically

if i were to like

put it in my closet for a decade or so

could i use it to piss on venus

[eggfucker17]

The moon is 238855 miles from earth. Venus is 72, 267,000 miles away from earth. If my calculations are correct, you'd have to hold your piss for approximately 1,513 years to piss on Venus.

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

I can never die

So

Bet

[onepolygonbitch]

Sonic that's a lot of fucking years

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

It’ll be worth it though cause I’ll be able to piss on Venus

[onepolygonbitch]

Yeah okay fair

[eggfucker17]

Martha got my dick in the divorce

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

sorry man…. she gave it to me

[eggfucker17]

WHAT. YOU HAVE MY DICK???? MY EGGDICK??? HOW DO YOU EVEN USE THAT

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

have you not noticed it was gone? i mean you’d use it like any normal dick-

[eggfucker17]

I only piss once every five years so that I have enough piss built up to destroy the moon

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

ooooh that’s how that works

yeah i was kinda wondering abt no you would be able to piss so hard it destroyed the moon

but how do you, like, hold it for that long

[eggfucker17]

Every time i have the urge to piss I think of Martha. I'm not sure what this means but it works

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

so hypothetically

if i were to like

put it in my closet for a decade or so

could i use it to piss on venus

[eggfucker17]

The moon is 238855 miles from earth. Venus is 72, 267,000 miles away from earth. If my calculations are correct, you'd have to hold your piss for approximately 1,513 years to piss on Venus.

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

I can never die

So

Bet

[onepolygonbitch]

Sonic that's a lot of fucking years

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[onepolygonbitch]

I pawned them off so that I could get us all sushi

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

YOU DONT EVEN LIKE SUSHI

[eggfucker17]

She's lying. She's literally holding them right now, I know because she's IN MY HOUSE

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

ROUGE I SWEAR TO GOD GIVE ME BACK NY KEYS OR IM STEALING YOUR WEED AND GIVING IT TO KNUCKLES

[onepolygonbitch]

NO NOT MY WEED

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

that’s what i thought now GIVE ME BACK MY KEYS

[onepolygonbitch]

Only if you tell me one thing.

WHY cant I break into your house? Breaking and entering and stealing is like, my thing. Your house looks totally normal. You dont even have security cameras. But somehow, every time I try to get in, something batshit crazy happens. I literally got struck by lightning this morning. Yesterday, The Tiger appeared. The day before that? I was swallowed up by a hole that appeared under my feet (forgot i had wings).

So are you friends with god or some shit????

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

oh rouge… you don’t know?

i’m a beta tester…

FOR RAID SHADOW LEGENDS

[onepolygonbitch]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

here's your fucking keys you fucking sponsored ass motherfucker

[onepolygonbitch]

Hello, how are you doing?

Basic Question: What experience caused you to become interested in collecting jewels?

Curious Question: How many jewels do you think you have collected throughout your lifetime?

Weird Question: What would you do if you had your arms and legs swapped?

Hi, you sent me this ask once before I think, I appreciate you sending it again cause I forgot to answer (sorry about that). Anyways:

1) Imma be honest. I just like shiny things. Always have. But then I learned that the Worlds Best Shiny Things (jewels) are expensive, and well, i spend all of my money on weed already. So i had to learn to get jewels a different way (breaking and entering)

2) I've collected at least 69,420 jewels. I stopped counting after that because that's a funny number.

3) this would be cool as fuck. I would kick eggman in the mouth whenever he says dumb shit about his ex.

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[onepolygonbitch]

I pawned them off so that I could get us all sushi

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

YOU DONT EVEN LIKE SUSHI

[eggfucker17]

She's lying. She's literally holding them right now, I know because she's IN MY HOUSE

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

ROUGE I SWEAR TO GOD GIVE ME BACK NY KEYS OR IM STEALING YOUR WEED AND GIVING IT TO KNUCKLES

[onepolygonbitch]

NO NOT MY WEED

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

that’s what i thought now GIVE ME BACK MY KEYS

[onepolygonbitch]

Only if you tell me one thing.

WHY cant I break into your house? Breaking and entering and stealing is like, my thing. Your house looks totally normal. You dont even have security cameras. But somehow, every time I try to get in, something batshit crazy happens. I literally got struck by lightning this morning. Yesterday, The Tiger appeared. The day before that? I was swallowed up by a hole that appeared under my feet (forgot i had wings).

So are you friends with god or some shit????

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[onepolygonbitch]

I pawned them off so that I could get us all sushi

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

YOU DONT EVEN LIKE SUSHI

[eggfucker17]

She's lying. She's literally holding them right now, I know because she's IN MY HOUSE

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

ROUGE I SWEAR TO GOD GIVE ME BACK NY KEYS OR IM STEALING YOUR WEED AND GIVING IT TO KNUCKLES

[onepolygonbitch]

NO NOT MY WEED

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[onepolygonbitch]

I pawned them off so that I could get us all sushi

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

YOU DONT EVEN LIKE SUSHI

[eggfucker17]

She's lying. She's literally holding them right now, I know because she's IN MY HOUSE

[onepolygonbitch]

WHAT THE FUCK MAN

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[onepolygonbitch]

I pawned them off so that I could get us all sushi

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

rouge

rouge where are my keys

[onepolygonbitch]

Ummmmmm

[bluegumballsonofabitch]

@shadowthehedgehog7777 GIVE ME BACK THE KEYS TO MY APARTMENT I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM

[shadowthehedgehog7777]

I DONT HAVE THEM

[onepolygonbitch]

Hehe