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@onewomanonevoice-blog
Affirmation for the day: When I love myself so fiercely and shine the light of that love, no person, no cultural construct such as racism can diminish that loving light.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
Affirmation for the day:Somewhere deep inside of me I know that I produced the problem so that I might find the solution.
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” ―Byron Katie
Affirmation for the day: Today I stop playing small by giving obstacles too much of my attention. I keep my focus on my desires and dreams, and steady my gaze on the road that will lead me there.
"The road to success is not a path you find but a trail you blaze." ~ Robert Brault
Art by Vinicius Carbonera
Affirmation for the day: I step out of the smallness of being one thing into the fullness of accepting that I am all the seasons and all the colors of the earth.
"And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief." ~ Khalil Gibran
Photo by Zhang Jingna
Affirmation for the day: Today I make peace with myself by looking into my darker emotions to see the light they are trying to direct me toward.
"Pull that ugly and unwanted emotion out of the dungeon and into the light of day. You’ll start to see the natural transformation that occurs when you bring a fresh awareness to a toxic emotion." Debbie Ford
Sculpture by artist Paige Bradley
3 Easy Steps to Magically Turn Struggle into Joy
What happens in our life is either a lesson or a blessing." -Michael Bernard Beckwith
A shift in perception can change your feelings of being in the energy of struggle to being blessed with something wonderful. As women, we put our attention on everything but ourselves-our work, our children, our husband or partner. Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom calls it our "egg wisdom." It is our biological makeup, as Northrup explains, to make everything around us better. We "egg on" our men, our children, our co-workers. At some point we burn out feeling stripped and stressed, and as a result struggle.
First Step Toward Joy - Understanding
Xun Kuang, a Chinese Confucian philosopher said, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” We are intimately involved when our learning is tethered to struggle. It is important to understand that our struggles are lessons and bring us to a beautiful place of knowledge if we are open to learning. The story of the butterfly and the cocoon, attributed to Henry Miller, is the tale that helps me to understand the importance of struggle in my life:
A boy is given a cocoon and brings it inside his home for safe keeping. When he sees the butterfly trying to emerge from the cocoon, at first he is thrilled. It is not long before his excitement turns to concern when the butterfly does not emerge after days of trying. The boy, in an act of compassion, clips the cocoon with a pair of scissors to set the butterfly free. What he finds is a butterfly that is deformed with swollen wings. The boy's act of compassion was to the detriment of the butterfly. It never soared. It could never be set free. Instead the butterfly suffered a grounded life with swollen wings that could never fully develop.
Second Step - Redefine Struggle
When I think of this story when I am in a difficult situation, I can shift that feeling of struggle to a feeling of joy, yes, joy with this simple question:
What am I learning during this time? How will this situation help me to soar even higher in my life?
I am actually giddy with the knowledge that I am being stretched and evolving, and it absolutely feels magical. It is the struggle to get out of the cocoon that gives the butterfly's wings enough blood to fully develop. We need our struggles to develop our wings.
Third Step - Practice Self-Care
In addition to understanding and shifting our thoughts by reminding ourselves that our wings are just getting stronger during a time of trial, we can "egg" ourselves on by practicing self-care. We can forgive ourselves when we make a mistake, and we can treat ourselves to simple pleasures like a ten dollar bouquet of flowers or scented salt bath, or the luxury of simply doing nothing. When we are struggling to feel good, that is the most important time to put ourselves on the largest rung of our inner-life tree.
Affirmation for the day: With love our parents gave us their dreams and their fears, but today I return to the infinite possibilities that existed within my curious, unafraid child self.
“Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds called "All the Things That Could Go Wrong.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Affirmation of the day: We may think we are struggling but if we look with open eyes and an open heart there is always a gift.
“The passing moment is all we can be sure of; it is only common sense to extract its utmost value from it.” ~ W. Somerset Maugham
Photo by Orly Faya
Affirmation for the day: It is okay for us to let go of the pain of our parents. It is not ours to hold through this life.
"Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you...If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it." ~ Emmet Fox
2 Key Ways to Learn from what Irritates Us
“We all attract certain people into our lives who have developed qualities opposite to the ones we are most identified with. In other words, they mirror our disowned selves, and we mirror theirs.”—Shakti Gawain
What is that thing that just irritates you about another person more than anything else? Is it selfishness? Is it judgments? Passiveness? Aggressiveness?
Have you ever wondered why some behaviors deeply upset you, while you can let other behaviors go? The understanding that we are looking at our mirror image, often an image that is stored in our unconscious mind, reveals why we react the way we do to friends, relatives, and associates. Understanding our reactions will help us to better understand ourselves.
We all possess, but often stifle, what we may term negative qualities. Perhaps our partner, friend, or boss is angry, lazy, or judges and blames. Our childhood conditioning may not allow for these qualities to be acceptable and therefore we suppress those emotions. We must accept our full range of emotions in a balanced way. When we have strong reactions to behaviors, it may be an indication that we are out of balance by denying an aspect of ourselves—the harsher our reaction the stronger the denial of that quality in ourselves.
1. Learn to Reinterpret Denied “Shadow” Characteristics
‘‘The shadow,’’ wrote Carl Jung, is ‘‘that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality.’’ Jung also wrote, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.” We all carry our shadow parts whether we are aware of it nor not. It all goes back to childhood when our very survival depended on our parents. As children, we learn to please our parents to survive. It was not safe to show anger in my home with an alcoholic father; anger is one of the behaviors that I suppressed and attracted a partner with short fuse. A client told me it was not safe to disappoint her mother as a child. She consistently attracts friends who let her down.
The degree to which we conceal that quality that we may have suppressed as a child determines our attraction to that quality within our relationships. Do you keep attracting the same angry man or woman when you are peaceful person? Do you attract friends who are stingy when you see yourself as generous? The quality of generosity could very well be of balance. We attract the selfish person to teach us about boundaries. Our overly generous natures may not be servicing us when we give beyond our capacities or put our own dreams on hold to take care of others. Thus, we attract the selfish friend to remind us that we need to give to ourselves, too.
2. Taking Responsibility - It is Never about the Other Person
Our emotions are our internal sensors telling us where we are out of balance. We give our power away if we keep our focus on the other person's behaviors. Simply asking ourselves why we are responding so strongly to another will open us to an awareness of what we are denying in ourselves. Becoming aware of our denied “shadow” qualities will help us to find balance within ourselves and in our relationships. We may still not like a quality in another person, but we will be less reactive. If the behavior is extreme, we may choose to move on to another relationship or set boundaries, but we can do this with love and and full acceptances of the other. We can release our need to "fix" that person. The "fixing" is within. When we can accept ourselves for who we are and learn to understand the signals our emotions are giving us, we give our partners, friends, and family permission to do the same.
What have you learned from your reaction to the behavior of others? Share your voice below!
Affirmation for the day: I thank my body for the wake up call when I am in dis-ease and both hear and heed the wake up to change my life.
"Fear, doubt, anxiety, anger, resentment pull down the cells of the body, shock the nervous system and are the causes of disease and disaster." ~ Florence Scovel Shinn
Photo by: Johannes Stoetter
Affirmation for the day:
Today I embrace all that I am and all that I have experienced. To love my fate is to love myself.
“My formula for human greatness is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not in the future, not in the past, not for all eternity. Not only to endure what is necessary...but to love it...” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Artwork by Natmir
Affirmation for the day: Instead of staying in the small space of "Why is this happening to me," ask yourself, "What is your moment of crisis asking of you?
"Rock bottoms and divine storms are not punishment but a wake-up call." ~ Mastin Kipp
Affirmation for the day: Letting go of anger is as easy as taking off a pair of too tight shoes. The relief is immediate. “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Affirmation for the day: Today I make the choice to reside within the language of my heart and not the negative loop of thoughts from my monkey mind.
“My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone.” ~ Anne Lamott
Artwork by Heather Gorham
Affirmation for the day:
Today I honor my body in all of its incarnations. I honor its sweat, its pain, its ability to move or not move.
”It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now…with its aches and its pleasures…is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.” ~
Pema Chödrön
Affirmation for the day: Today I let go of the anxiety and fear of what the future will hold and simply live in the beauty of this moment. “Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke