ONI: Official Blog @oni-official - Tumblr Blog

Attention citizens,

This blog has been created in order to serve as the Office of Naval Intelligence's official method of correspondence with the public. Here, you can view declassified senior level communiqués, both official and personal, as well as receive ONI's official stance upon any such matters which may arise.

Please stand by for further communication and remember:

Semper Vigilans

Director

Section Zero

#oni #oni halo #halo #official blog

*crawls inside the remains of a destroyed Guardian Custode*

Wait, here, take this camera. We usually have to pay people to do stuff like this!

#halo #oni #office of naval intelligence #midas

i know what the spartans are

Why don't you come join us in this unmarked black van and we can discuss exactly what you do and do not know? We'll talk about what we know as well.

#halo #oni #office of naval intelligence #midnight facility

Someone broke the toilet.

You know, we're not in the habit of dealing with nebulous terms like "someone" at the Office of Naval Intelligence.

#halo #oni #office of naval intelligence #i know it was you

Director: *sitting back in chair* How much more of this?

AD: Well, sir, it's only Wednesday...

Director: *rubbing temples* Alright, I'll bite. Who do we have to overthrow to make the weekend come quicker?

AD: ....

Director: Charet? Hood? Osman? Father Time? Bring me their dossiers.

#halo #oni #midweek blues

The calendar turns once more. The world has been difficult recently. To those going through tough times, we hope that you overcome your challenges soon and are able to move forward to greater things.

The news will make you believe that every last person is evil and suffering is inevitable. Nothing could be further from the truth. Kindness is flourishing and much has been accomplished to help the peaceful and worthy causes of humanity. Trust in your fellow man. Seek shelter with the ones you love - they love you back. Good news makes for poor headlines.

We hope that the coming year proves to be a wonderful one of growth and that you are met with success in all your endeavours.

Be strong. Be safe. Be kind to each other.

A very happy new year to you all.

#happy new year

Alright, spooks, new tasking. Today, you just gotta do your best.

#halo #oni #you've got this

holyshonks

Snippet Sunday

Thanks for the tag @poisonheadcrabsalesman! I have a wip in its very very infancy (still in phone notes app) based on this ask to @oni-official, lovingly realized by @superintendent-b in a comic that has bewitched me.

A Flood combat form must become forklift certified without infecting anyone. It encounters something worse than the Halo rings: corporate bureaucracy.

We lurch toward the classroom. A pathetically small one blocks our passage. It sits at a white folding table, inattentively typing into some device. It makes no attempt to shield its carotid arteries. "Hello there...Brian," it chirps, reading our badge. "Are you here for the forklift certification course? Can I have your Training HQ username?" We moan uncertainly. "Oh, are you new? Sorry, you can't take our certification classes until you get set up in Training HQ. Lorraine in HR can create a user ID for you." Our oculars peer into the classroom. This one would not join the chorus. We could turn it into meat. Already we can hear ourselves sloshing through its insides and passing into the class. "HRGHHHH." "No, I'm not seeing that username in the system." "MMPHHH." "Sorry, Brian, there's a line forming behind you. Like I said, Lorraine can help you." It presents its mouth bones. We find the creature called "Lorraine". It is old and weak, and solitary. It should never have been given this much power. Its wet oculars narrow. It sets down a tome called "sudoku" and sighs. "Can I help you? I'm very busy." "FORK...Ngggh...lift." "Oh, did Kerry finally hire someone? It's about time. I thought I was the only one who worked around here. So you need a username, hm? You know I'm the only one who knows how to use this system?" That should not be. These creatures have no chorus. If this meat expires, the knowledge rots with it. "HHNG." "I don't know what they'd do without me." It snaps a sticky substance in its disgusting maw. "Name?" "B...BRIAN." Your last name, hun." Its face hole scrunches. We were not prepared for this. Our tendrils scan the area. Carpet...desk...poster with "Hang in There" kitten...no, no... "BRIAN. HRNG. BRIAN...JOB." "Brian Job?" "YEEEE" "Uh-huh. Here. Your username is Bjob. It's auto-generated. No, we can't change it. No, I won't make an exception for you." Excellent...with this Bjob we are one step closer to our goal.

This was fun!! Not tagging but please join if you have something you want to share!

#beautiful

oni-official

Nyaster Chief? Nyaster Chief.

Moving on.

oni-official

Nyaster Chief Anniversary

biomecharnotaurus

Little thing I made.

Inspired by this item on Etsy

idontthinkineedaclevername

@oni-official Are you missing a couple vials?

oni-official

You give that back right now or so help me-

Midas, I think this one requires slightly more than a harshly worded warning.

#halo #oni #the flood #halo flood #office of naval intelligence #really cool

*echoing down the hall*

"What do you mean we've "literally lost" 300,000 ODSTs?

...

WHERE?

....

What the FUCK is Super Earth?"

#halo #oni #helldivers 2 #helldivers x halo collab is very fun #ODST

One of your scientists got STUCK inside the Ross-Ziegler Blip…

Let's see Iqbal explain that.

#halo #oni #Ross-Ziegler blip #extended lore stuff is fun #office of naval intelligence

oni-official

#halo #oni #the director #tales from the chat

bloodgulchblog

If I can find it in my heart to forgive Sangheili and Spartans for fighting for things that suck because they were preyed upon by the institutions they trusted, I can find it in me to forgive Catherine Halsey for the same.

monitorchakas

I mean since oni people like parangosky and osman hate her, and the rest of osman team hates her (I forget their names because they forgettable) not to mention karen traviss hates her

The enemy of my enemy is my friend?

bloodgulchblog

Right???

Parangosky is a fucking black hole.

Parangosky thought what she was doing was correct at the core under the awfulness.

ONI hates Halsey because she refused to stay in the box they put her in.

Parangosky never swerved. Parangosky never stopped believing that she was the necessary monster, a kind of martyr even.

"I have to do horrible things because if I don't, worse things will happen" is the ideological poison at the core of so much in Halo. It's so seductive.

That's why Halsey trying, as what she thinks might be the last thing she might ever do for him, to teach John that it's wrong means so much to me for these characters.

Halsey tries to get him to understand that sacrificing a few innocents now to maybe save many in the future is not the correct answer.

She's right, she's finally right. It's not just morally wrong, it's also futile. You can't know the future, you can't guarantee that sacrificing an innocent will mean a single thing you intend.

Halsey's living with regrets that are ancient, based on decisions she made when she was young and believed in her ability to see the future coming and that there was such a thing as a necessary monster.

And she's had to watch what her influence and beliefs have done to the Spartans.

#halo #oni #what can we sacrifice? what do we stand to gain? what do we stand to lose?#there's a cold logic that can be applied to everything #some of the world's hardest questions become so simple when you break it down into numbers #but for all that #for all the terrible arithmetic of war #oni had to take something away from the spartans #their humanity #oni had to #and if she can save this one #just this one #not in any traditional sense #but perhaps in the realest one #maybe halsey's mind will let it all have been worth it #life is more than probabilities and objectives #life is messy #life is beautiful #life is not something you control #it's something you experience #that oni had the audacity to look those children in the eyes and say “not for you”#“not for you to leave tomorrow to chance”#“not for you to watch without doing”#“not for you to fall”#“not for you to fail”#“not for you to hope”#that is a crime which may take a lifetime to reverse #dr. halsey #john 117

thenetherxd

Hi hello I swear I'm a cool artist 😔 (I mostly draw traditionally </3)

#halo #master chief #the arbiter #cortana #art #other people's art #love it

Heyyyyyy you guys wouldn't happen to be responsible for the giant laser-wing cyborg dragon currently flying around and crisping Covies? Like. Not that I don't appreciate it, but it's kinda freaky having a giant reptile come screaming out of nowhere and start torching everything.

Oh, that's nothing to worry about, ONI is always innovating and developing new ways to further the war eff-

Oh, that's... uh...

Oh.

Oh, where's Hayden when you need him?

#halo #oni #assistant director #doom #samuel hayden #uac #serrat