That's completely fucking mad, seems to me

A mostly silly sideblog for my fav ex-smuggler and our notp— we don’t like it when kings take up with ladies who burn people alive. Mostly to make/reblog joke posts and maybe post some of my rants. Not usually the type to make a "hate blog," but I really didn't feel like effing up my main blog with asterisks and names like "Johnny Snowflake" and "Denise Store-bought" or bothering my followers.

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Me, watching people who screeched about GoT season 8 for three straight years at every opportunity treat House of the Delusional like it’s the Great, Platinum Blonde Hope. 

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Presenting  Prince Venereal an award for being the best— well, the least shitty I mean—  of his siblings: 

Congrats, Visine. 

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#the targs set the bar so far down in hell that this is TRUUUUUEEEEEEE I just had to let you know that I am straight up cackling over that tag. 😆

I keep picturing everyone shunning him. “Your kill count isn’t even in the triple digits; you’re an embarrassment!”

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Someone innocently  wore a House Stark T-shirt to work yesterday.

Which naturally gave a Damndest Tarnation stan the green light to start bitching about how the Rightful Queen™️ was screwed over by men who thought “women could only make bad rulers.”

And House Stark Shirt said, “Except for… ya know, Yara Greyjoy had a lot in common with [D.T.]. She was the only survivor after her shitty father and brothers got killed, run out from her home, had to fight for everything she had— all without dragons, by the way. And when things didn’t go her way, she somehow managed to only complain for, like, 8 seconds instead of throwing a complete temper tantrum and going on a fiery murder rampage. Then she took a breath and was a grownup and did what was best for her people. Because that’s what a REAL leader does.”

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Soooo I found a website that generates whole paragraphs based on sentences that you type in and the results are hilarious. 

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Credit to the original creator because I got sent this by a friend

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Presenting  Prince Venereal an award for being the best— well, the least shitty I mean—  of his siblings: 

Congrats, Visine. 

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When it’s three months later and those who stan a certain nuke-happy pterodactyl STILL have the fucking gall to try to equate fiery destruction and mass murder with:

Jon executing a kid who freaking murdered him-- Oh, and spared his successor from having to punish the conspirators instead. Then despite all of the trauma from getting Julius Caesar‘ed, he himself had to assassinate a tyrant who was gonna burn the world down because he was the only who could stop her.

Arya avenging her family and Robb’s men and taking great care to ONLY go after those who were guilty. Then she ultimately used her training to save the world.

Sansa being naïve and occasionally bratty as a preteen just like every other preteen to ever preteen/having trust issues after spending half a decade getting screwed over/letting her and Theon’s torturer get eaten by dogs. But Sansa remembered what it’s like to be alone and afraid and treated like a pawn so she made damn sure to feed, clothe, and shelter her people and their allies during the almost apocalypse and despite no combat training, was willing to stay on the battlements with them.

Yeah, sorry that executing traitors, murderers, and sadists and sometimes saying rude things aren’t on the same level as literally incinerating a million people while razing a city.  

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Westerosi Health Class brought to you by Lord Varys. Apparently only Jon attended. 

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When you remember that season 8 did not feature an inbred abomination of fire and blood:

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When you go into various Varys tags looking for quotes and memes and there’s a shitload of bitching that he’s a “traitor.”

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A deleted scene of Sansa and Arya defending their home from the draconian tyrant. 

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A Song of Ice and Fire: Here are thousands of pages all about the shitty things that happen and the shitty PEOPLE that happen directly because of incest. Plus, here’s  a lot of important characters who have major trauma associated with people being burned alive. 

Game of Thrones: Here’s about 80 hours of television all about the shitty things that happen and the shitty PEOPLE that happen directly because of incest. Plus, here’s  a lot of important characters who have major trauma associated with people being burned alive. Also, here’s like 4 seasons of a guy who thinks the best fate of the entire continent is in his hands and a woman who burns people alive. Everything goes to shit and just about everyone dies painfully or disgracefully, so if it wasn’t obvious before: burning people alive is a special kind of super evil.

Some fans: What do you mean that an aunt and nephew who are practically siblings genetically didn’t get married and live happily ever after to save the kingdom? Why didn’t the woman who burns people alive and the guy who is just trying to do what’s best get to incestuously conceive a goblin gnome to follow their glorious reign? Do you really expect me to believe that the inbred woman whose motto is “Bend the knee or get incinerated” wouldn’t make a benevolent queen? This is coming out of nowhere! Such a poorly thought out, last minute twist! 

Me: 

 How on earth can anyone consume media in which the entire narrative can be boiled down to “Wow, look at all the shit that happens when people fuck their close relatives” and still think that anything about incest will be positive? 

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Jon is able to bring together all of the elements necessary to defeat the army of the dead but only because of people in his life like Ned and Benjen and Jeor.

His targ ancestry is  basically the catalyst  for him to destroy the house of fire and blood forever.

What a delightfully massive fuck you to Ragdoll Trashcan.

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Sansa and Arya @ Dny

[cykatome]

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Jon: What do you suggest? That we shoot her like a dog?

Arya and Sansa in unison: No, I like dogs.

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 Sansa is like the only person in this series who can pull off being a competent ruler without being a machiavellian dick or a puppet master, but yes... Denise Store-Bought can’t be queen because D&D think women are too emotional to rule. 

Sure.