If life doesnāt kill me, feeling everything too deeply will
People say having a soft heart is a good thing. That it makes you kind. That it means you care. That the world needs more people like that.
But what they donāt tell you is that it hurts. A lot.
It hurts when you feel everything too much. When a strangerās sadness sits on your chest like it belongs there. When someone elseās pain feels like itās your own. When you see things that arenāt even happening to you, but they still find a way to carve themselves into your bones.
I donāt know how to turn it off. I never learned how.
I tried. I really did. I told myself to stop caring so much. To stop making other peopleās problems mine. To stop letting things get to me. But it never worked. Because how do you stop feeling? How do you make your heart stop reacting when it was built to do exactly that?
Iāve been called too sensitive. Too emotional. Too soft. Like itās a bad thing. Like being able to feel is a weakness.
But I donāt think it is. At least, not all the time.
Because even though it hurts, even though it feels like my heart is too open, too exposed, I donāt want to be the kind of person who doesnāt care. I donāt want to be numb. I donāt want to walk through life without being moved by anything.
I just wish it didnāt feel like drowning.
Some days, itās manageable. Some days, I can carry it. But other days, itās too much. Too heavy. And I wonder if this is how itās always going to beāfeeling everything so deeply that it almost breaks me.
I donāt know. Maybe itās not something to fix. Maybe this is just who I am. Maybe the world needs people like me, even if it doesnāt always make space for us.
Maybe feeling everything isnāt the worst thing.
āItās both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.ā
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
