I have just realized that the reason I have been told sometimes that I tend to think like a man, and that during most of my life, I have mostly had more boys than girls as friends, is the fact that I have mainly been raised by men as a kid.
My mum died when I was just about 5 or 6 months old, my dad had been living as a man in a foreign country for almost 10 years, he had a lot of friends there though, some of them were Egyptian, some weren't, and only a few of them had wives. So it pretty much just me and my dad for about 6 days a week, and during some weekends, it was me and all of them.
The situation stayed like that for about 4 years, then he got married, and during their first months of marriage, I stayed a lot at both my uncles' homes, which was in the same building, so technically, I was still around.
Each of my uncles had two boys as sons, they were a lot older than I was, and they were all very different. Both brothers were pretty much the opposite in everything; it was just a constant competition all the time. Everyone had a different favorite singer that they kept defending all the time and fighting about, they both cheered for different football teams as well.
God, I remember watching tons of matches, and of course, the day that every single Egyptian remembers just like it was yesterday. The very famous 6-1 humiliation, fuck, that day was just crazy. I still cannot believe the constant adrenaline rush, the mixed feeling I have received by watching 4 different reactions that was all equally epic!
I still remember my cousin screaming with cheers with every goal, he was laughing like such a maniac, as if he has turned to a Joker, and the other one was getting more blue and silent with every goal, and eventually tearing up. It was such a mess!
I used to play video games a lot too, whatever it is, you name it, and I know I will have played it. It was my most favorite time of the day, going into daily adventures and helping my heroes defeat all evils. Oh, the rush it brought me with every single victory! It was indispensable!
I played a lot with boys too as a kid, we used to play hide and seek, running games, ball games, throw and catch, basketball, table tennis, all of it. I was kind of their partner during play time, cause I was really fast, at some point in upper elementary grade years, I used to be a part of a trio group with two other boys, we used to play basketball in school. I used to beat them a lot too, even in arm wrestling! :D And any running based game was my edge, I was unbeatable and I was well-known for it.
They didn't like to get beaten though; sometimes they took it too personal.
And I still remember that even though as a kid, I was somehow beautiful and also very smart and funny, I was rarely picked by a cool boy. They always liked other girls, and they were mostly girls that almost never play during break times, you know those who are mostly shy and have pretty smiles and a nicely done hair?
Yeah, that was mainly how they looked like, but gosh they were so damn boring, they do nothing, they didn't like to read, play video games or even actual games. "What's fun about that?" was the question I always asked myself about them and never found the answer to.
I guess some of them might have liked using coloring books though, maybe use nail polish and different glittery pens. Yet, they never read comics either, and I used to be one of those top comic collectors, so it was just something crazy for a fan like me.
Unlike the boys my age, all the men in my family were always super proud and crazy about me, they were decent men. They were the kind of family that wants the best for you, always shows you of, and has very high hopes and expectations in you. They were truly content and happy with every success that I have ever made, they used to rush in on the same day of any good news concerning me just to cheer for me and congratulate me. Whenever some of my family came over, I also remember liking to sit around with my dad than with the rest of the women and their kids after we're done eating. I liked listening to their conversations, and whenever I had something to say, they always listened and even considered my point of view. They were good men, some of the very last.
I still remember what my uncle has told me on his death bed too, he said that I am very unique and special; he said I should be more confident, and even arrogant when needed. He also said I should be careful while choosing a man.
And you know what I have concluded? Most boys were actually intimated. They didn’t like the idea that a girl could beat them, even if it was just a game. They were never actually okay with the idea that it's possible to lose to a girl, so while we were young and innocent, they just preferred to keep me as a friend or even avoid me, so it was always pretty clear to me, I never had any false expectations, things were predictable, so it was fine.
But as we got older and started wearing masks, things began to change. They didn’t need to avoid me anymore, if I am that good at something that I do, maybe they could make use of it instead of avoiding me. And if they can't use it or they don’t really want to, there was always a lot of competition, they have always felt challenged, and I guess sometimes small. I was never demeaning though, I was just the way I am, and sometimes it was too much.
The men in my family were different, they were always happy to show me off, they have always whole-heartedly wished me the best of luck in life, they were the exact opposite of almost all the boys I have known.
So let's just say that some boys don't ever grow up to be men, they stay boys. And the above are all signs of how they might act and what they might do. Maybe this knowledge could help open our eyes a little bit.