firefly soliloquy

hope caught in a bottle

[heteroglossia]

“The whole content of my being shrinks in contradiction against itself. Experience is surely a debate.”

— Soren Kierkegaard

[lifeinstasis]

God, Forgive Me.

God, forgive me.

Or, maybe, God pardon me

Help me

Fix what is

Wrong with me.

But,

Honestly,

That is probably 

Too much to ask.

So maybe,

Just,

God,

Understand me.

Love me, still.

No need to forgive me,

But feel my pain,

And realize me,

Even if

What I do,

Still damns me.

Send my family

My love

And ask them

To forgive me,

Understand me.

At least,

Love me, still.

[devayana]

A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life.

Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf

[quotemadness]

“My real self wanders elsewhere, far away, wanders on and on invisibly and has nothing to do with my life.”

— Hermann Hesse

[aspiritualwarrior]

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”

— Hermann Hesse

[quotemadness]

“You are willing to die, you coward, but not to live.”

— Hermann Hesse

[wnq-anonymous]

“I will no longer mutilate and destroy myself in order to find a secret behind the ruins.”

— Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

[memoryslandscape-deactivated202]

“A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life.”

— Hermann Hesse, from Wandering: Notes and Sketches (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 1972)

[quotemadness]

“Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell.”

— Hermann Hesse

[thoughtkick]

“I will never say the things that I want to say to you. I know the damage it would do. I love you more than I hate my loneliness and pain.”

— Henry Rollins, Solipsist

[thoughtkick]

“She struggled with her sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter these in places she thought no one would find them.”

— Nicole Krauss

[valentina-poem]

[thoughtkick]

“If I have learned anything in this long life of mine, it is this: in love we find out who we want to be; in war we find out who we are.”

— Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale

[thoughtkick]

“My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing.”

— Jillian Medoff

[poetsbloom]

I feel too small for the world tonight,

But that's okay.

Sometimes i like the thought of travelling the earth unnoticed.

[only-of-bones]

broken ceramic

Dollar store plates

And a rubber mallet.

Concrete dusted with

Shards and sand.

It’s 3 am -

Where do you go from here,

The empty parking lot screams.

And I scream back–

The experts were right

Catharsis doesn’t work.

[quotesandstardust]

“And so I repress myself, and swallow the call-note of depth-dark sobbing.”

—

Rainer Maria Rilke, excerpt of The First Elegy (tr. by J. B. Leishman and Stephen Spender)

Original — Und so verhalt ich mich denn und verschlucke den Lockruf dunkelen Scluchzens.

(via antigonick)