Disguised as a bear

[onlyasmalllizard]

Stop

Whilst looking for a present for my sister, I have just discovered that there are A LOT of colouring books of serial killers. Guys. This is not cool. There should not be a market for this.

[onlyasmalllizard]

I feel like trying to pass at work early in my transition has led to me having the wardrobe of wealthy white nerd villains on TV shows.

[onlyasmalllizard]

Important information about buying a musical instrument

A lot of shops either already have a policy about paying for instruments in instalments or will be willing to work with you on the condition that the instrument stays with them until it is paid off. My local violin shop has a payment plan for under-25s to pay in instalments and take the instrument home whilst still paying. A lot of shops have rent-to-buy programmes.

Don’t be shy about asking for information about payment plans! Musical instruments are expensive and the employees know not everyone can drop the cost of an instrument all at once.

I’ve bought several instruments this way and realised that I only knew this was okay to ask about because my parents told me about it.

[onlyasmalllizard]

Every single time my layout looks weird when working in CSS it is because I added a margin or padding somewhere for Reasons and forgot

[solarpunk-aesthetic]

This adorable little robot is designed to make sure its photosynthesising passenger is well taken care of. It moves towards brighter light if it needs, or hides in the shade to keep cool. When in the light, it rotates to make sure the plant gets plenty of light. It even likes to play with humans.

Oh, and apparently, it gets antsy when it’s thirsty.

The robot is actually an art project called “Sharing Human Technology with Plants” by a roboticist named Sun Tianqi. It’s made from a modified version of a Vincross HEXA robot, and in his own words, it’s purpose is “to explore the relationship between living beings and robots.”

I don’t care if it’s silly. I want one.

[human-aliens-collection]

Could you imagine a whole greenhouse full of these? I always thought of spaceship greenhouses as big stationary things, but imagine a rotating “sun” and a bundle of little, shuffling planters that come find crew member when their plants are dehydrated.

[onlyasmalllizard]

@unlimitedgoats

[sanwichsays]

Honestly, I’m happy to be socially isolated with my partner. Imagine if I was quarantined with my family??? 😱😱😱

[onlyasmalllizard]

I’ve been grateful to be isolated with my partner as well! I’ve spent a lot of my adult life living either alone or with near-strangers, and my mental health would have been loads worse in either of those situations.

[silentassassin21]

[onlyasmalllizard]

As a queer cellist who watches a lot of horror films, I can only recommend the first part of The Perfection, the part with the bugs/virus (though with the COVID-19, maybe we shouldn’t be watching that part right now either). After that, I felt the script used sexual assault as lazy horror writing. Very slight spoilers below the cut.

The twist is that it is a rape-revenge story on the teachers at an abusive cello school. And the abuse is sexual. I’m pretty sure a lot of musicians have had experiences with feeling like they need to over-practice in order to keep up with others, imposter syndrome, and authority figures with unreasonably high standards. Honestly, you don’t need to have sexual assault to write a compelling abuse narrative centred around professional musicians, and I felt pretty insulted that The Perfection decided to go that route instead of attempting to portray how much damage you can do to a student psychologically.

[onlyasmalllizard]

Nothing like having an idea for the composition you’ve been stuck on for ages, getting your cello out to test it, and instantly breaking the exact string you need.

Out into the cold and wet I go...

[sanwichsays]

It's difficult to find drum sheet music for songs I like! (Maybe I need to search in kanji because it's Japanese songs?) Luckily I can just play by ear.

I'm guessing most drummers don't rely on sheet music like I do? That's what I lack, I think. Makes me wonder if I'm not actually as musical as initially thought because I need so much direction...

[onlyasmalllizard]

I don’t think it’s not being musical, just different instruments are taught in overall different ways based on common usage. For example, as a string player I was taught exclusively on sheet music and was never required to try to improvise. The most common performance ensembles for string players involve playing from sheet music, so it makes sense from that angle. All of the wind and brass players I knew growing up got a lot training in improvisation because it set them up to be able to play well in jazz ensembles in addition to orchestras.

I don’t think it’s amazing that thing are set up this way, because improvisation, playing by ear, and being able to read sheet music are all very useful musical skills. It does limit people as musicians to skip over them based on what type of instrument/style they’re playing.

And for all of these skills, some will come more easily from the start to you than others, but at the end of the day they’re all learned skills. I have a harder than average time with rhythms, but it doesn’t mean I can never learn them. I just spend more of my time on internalising the rhythm than another person might when learning a new piece.

Good luck with your practice!

[onlyasmalllizard]

“French” Potatoes

This is a dish that my mum made growing up and always called french potatoes. I don’t know what makes them french, especially since googling “french potatoes” doesn’t bring up anything like this dish. I have finally gotten the recipe from her, and thought I’d share it with the internet.

Ingredients

4-6 potatoes, unpeeled

half an onion (you can have more onion if you like, but keep in mind that it doesn’t get cooked before you add chop all of the onions in the world*)

1/4 cup olive or vegetable oil

white wine vinegar or whit vinegar or balsamic vinegar

salt to taste (preferably sea salt or kosher, but regular table salt is fine too)

pepper to taste

Chop the potatoes in ~1/4″ thick slices and put them in a pot with water. Boil them until they’re soft.

While the potatoes are cooking, dice the onion finely.

Drain the potatoes and put them back in the pot. Add the oil, salt, and pepper and stir.

Add the onion. Add the vinegar a little bit at a time, stirring and tasting until you get a balance you like.

You are finished! Eat the potatoes! They are also good cold!

*my normal mode of cooking

[contemplatingchicken]

the weight of things

Currently chopping vegetables for soup night and considering the vegan meringue I’m about to attempt making with extreme dread.

This month has involved a lot of Thinking About Shit and Having Feelings so far, because it has involved a lot less of Hanging Out and Talking. I was getting to a point where it felt like every time I talked to someone, they said they something that hurt, and as much as I wanted to just howl BE MORE GENTLE WITH ME, I’m also pretty sure that a lot of that was me not coping well with being a human in a body, etc. 

The intractable problem is that I am lonely and feel unwanted, but socializing enough to make that feeling abate somewhat is really expensive to me in terms of energy, time, and money – because I don’t want my friends to think I’m an ungracious skinflint who can’t hang, goddammit. And – because – why am I even making money if not to put it back into people I care about? I waste enough of it on convenience foods and books I’m not going to read, that’s for sure.

A local friend – someone I have known since August 2018, so, let’s say, a year and five months – when listening to my anxiety, tried to pop in with “well, friendships don’t need maintenance!” And – well – COME AGAIN, MY DEAR. The kindness was clearly intended – I think she meant to ease up my anxiety about the lengths I need to go to entertain – but oof. Strange wording –

Friendships need SO much maintenance. I have friends because of all the time I’ve spent with them and the things we’ve shared and the joy we take in each other’s company – but also because of the money and the effort I’ve spent to get to where they are, to host them in my home, to feed them and give them gifts. So many stupid, roundabout ways I’ve taken to go somewhere I wanted to visit so that it could include someone I care about! 

I’ve invested so much. And it’s not to say that I’m sad or resentful about that – after everything, I’ve quietly, embarrassingly receded to only pouring my effort into people who make me feel good about that effort – but it wasn’t optional. I don’t really have anything else to show for my 31.6 years of being here, except my friendships and a smattering of good stories. Maybe I could have gotten medicated early on in the process and poured that effort in creating a nuclear family in hopes of having more stability and comfort at this stage – more visible return on my effort, I guess – but man, so many people I know who did that are just as fucked and lonely as I am. 

I dunno. There’s so much work to be done, and hard decisions to make, and I feel very unsteady about doing all of it and unsure that I’m not just going to drill my life into the ground.

[onlyasmalllizard]

They definitely take an investment that people don't talk about. Years ago, I could afford my rent but literally nothing else. I had just started dating someone who would come over and buy me groceries under the pretence that they were getting dinner for us as a date. We had a nice relationship for a while, but in retrospect, I think it was a bit poisoned by how poor I was during it. (I was also very sick from a mix of stress, mental health difficulties, and being in the space before I clocked that I was trans and some of the above was gender dysphoria, so... difficult times in general.)

I didn't really know anyone else and was lonely and exhausted. I got a £5 tip and kept it in my wallet because two acquaintances had suggested going out one-on-one. I knew I couldn't afford both, but I decided to use it for whoever made solid plans with me first. One of them did, and because I couldn’t afford a drink and a bus ticket, I walked two miles to get to the pub they suggested.

We ended up having a lovely time and she became one of my closer friends in that city. But if I hadn’t gotten a tip or been able to walk there and back (or had the walk worn me out too much to talk easily that day), it wouldn’t have happened. So much of getting to know people to even make friends involves going out and money and energy.

And then if it’s been a while since you’ve seen someone, it feels like you need to suggest a similar sort of meeting because that’s casual and normal. Or you need to do the effort of planning because then you can suggest the options that work better for you, but that comes with the stress of decision-making, and worrying about whether you care more about the friendship than the other person.

This has pretty much been a long ramble to say that I relate to what you wrote, and I wish you the most rewarding path possible with your decisions.

[onlyasmalllizard]

I did not think I loved my spouse enough to peel 400g of hazelnuts but apparently I do

[onlyasmalllizard]

Could someone please send me some luck? Or some nice pictures of rats?

Thanks!

[hroethvitnir]

Good luck! Have some old pictures of my babies!

[onlyasmalllizard]

They are so tiny and wonderful! Thank you! <3

[onlyasmalllizard]

Could someone please send me some luck? Or some nice pictures of rats?

Thanks!

[pleasurebeach]

homophobic rights

[that-twink-over-there]

I’M LOSING MY MIND 😂😂😂

[rabbit-exe]

this is a fucking stellar representation of terfs I love it

[i-will-stab-god]

TERFs and transmeds

[doomedvoyages]

it’s jsut fucked up that we bred pigeons to be our companions and then when we no longer had use of them we just abandoned them and now we treate them like menaces and pests and  people want them dead they are our FRIENDS

[doomedvoyages]

I was drunk but right

[onlyasmalllizard]

The most Me thing

Me: gets new oven

Me: instantly burns myself on oven