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07' - find anything interesting?

[sunniques]

— 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞

the one where heeseung spirals into a twisted obsession after meeting his lovely stepdaughter.

➺ PAIRING: lee heeseung x female reader

➺ GENRE: stepdad au, a/b/o au, smut

➺ WORD COUNT: 9.2k

➺ CW/TW: alpha!heeseung, omega!reader, stepcest, infidelity, age gap, obsession, possessiveness, grinding, begging, spanking, spitting, fingering, biting, daddy kink, breeding kink, size kink, hand job, pussy slaps, oral sex (f), squirting, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, knotting

NOTE: don’t like, don’t read.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Heeseung has always had obsessive tendencies.

Ever since he was a kid, he would fixate on something (or someone) until it became his or until he grew sick of it. His parents had brushed it off as a normal alpha disposition. They claimed he was territorial like any other alpha, so there was nothing to really worry about. Even back then, Heeseung knew that obsessive was a better word to describe him. Either way, because of this enabling, he never tried to correct his behavior despite knowing it wasn’t entirely normal.

As the years passed, Heeseung was able to control himself better (for the most part). After college, nothing really grabbed his attention the way it used to, and he mistakenly thought it was because he had finally grown out of his obsessive tendencies.

That undesirable part of him lay dormant for so long that he was able to lead a normal life. He even found a nice beta to settle down with. She was older than him and willing to placate him in every way. Even though Heeseung didn’t love her, she gave her entire heart to him. His selfishness allowed him to accept everything she was willing to give him, and he never once felt bad about it. After all, his wife wanted nothing more than to support him and make him a better man. Which she sort of did. At some point, Heeseung was convinced that he was slowly shedding the obsessive part of his personality completely thanks to his wife.

That illusion shattered the moment he met his wife’s daughter.

Heeseung always knew his wife had a daughter that was in college because she told him about you on their second date. Honestly, he’d put the information in the back of his mind because his wife made it clear that you had your own life and weren’t all that interested in hers. According to her, you deviated from the typical omega because you weren’t affectionate or clingy. She made the offhand comment that your unnatural disposition is the reason you haven’t gone through your first heat despite being well past the age for it.

Even though he thought that was beyond strange, he didn’t care enough to ask more. After all, he would probably only ever see you a few times a year.

It’s a hot summer day when Heeseung meets you. His wife isn’t all that thrilled about you coming over, but apparently you need to get something from her that can’t wait for another time. There are no secrets in his marriage, but for the first time ever, his loving wife refuses to tell him what it is that you need so badly.

Heeseung comes downstairs when he hears his wife open the door. Her greeting is unenthusiastic, and he manages to catch the tail end of an awkward hug. At first he thinks it’s because of your supposed aversion to affection, but when he watches his wife shove a small bag in your hands like it’s some big inconvenience, he thinks maybe you’re not the problem.

Once he gets closer, he’s hit with an unnaturally sweet scent at full force. It’s mouth-watering and dizzying in the best way. The beast inside him wants nothing more than to bury its nose in the source and never come up for air.

“Honey!” His wife exclaims as she leads you to the living room. “Come here. I want you to meet someone.”

The second he lays his eyes on you—a pretty college girl that has yet to go through her first heat—he’s unable to control the familiar dark feeling building in his chest. His pulse starts to race, and right then he realizes that his wife hadn’t helped him break his obsessive streak at all.

Your alluring eyes and bashful smile are completely entrancing. They radiate an intense beauty he didn’t believe existed in this world. Somehow, Heeseung is able to hide the dark desire consuming him as he introduces himself. Your voice is soft and gentle when you say your name as if you’re still wary of him. He finds it adorable, and so damn tempting. Already, his cock is twitching and coming alive.

“Why didn’t your little boyfriend come with you?” Your mom’s voice yanks Heeseung out of his trance.

A sickening feeling pinches his gut. Boyfriend?

“Jake and I aren’t together anymore, mom.” You say it so indifferently that Heeseung has to hold back a sigh of relief. “I told you that last time we talked.”

Not that you having a boyfriend would have posed too much of a problem, but it definitely would’ve made things more difficult for him.

“Are you staying for dinner, Y/N?” Heeseung wonders, hoping you’ll say yes.

You tilt your head slightly, eyes shifting beside him to exchange a look with your mom. Whatever you see on her face makes you shake your head. Your pretty lips pull down slightly in genuine regret. “No—Sorry. Maybe next time.”

Heeseung resists the urge to shake off his wife’s touch when her hands snake around his arm. He can feel her smile against his bicep. It’s revolting and puzzling. Why wouldn’t she want her own daughter around?

“That’s okay, sweetie. We’ll have dinner some other time whenever you’re free.”

She sounds smug, but you don’t offer her any reaction. All you do is politely say your goodbyes before hastily leaving the house.

If Heeseung were any other man, he would’ve been happy to have his wife all to himself again. However, all he can think of is you now. His hidden stepdaughter who evoked emotions from him that are intense enough to fuel the sprouting of an obsession.

“Classes start soon,” Heeseung mentions casually the next morning. “Does Y/N usually stay on campus?”

The sour look on his wife’s face is quickly masked when she takes a sip of her coffee. “She started living with that Jake boy after she graduated high school. He has an apartment near the university.”

Heeseung tries not to sneer at the mention of the boy who had clearly been an important part of your life. “It didn’t bother you that she ran off to live with some boy so soon after finishing school?”

His wife scoffs. “She was already an adult when she decided to live with him. It’s not like I could stop her.”

More like she didn’t want to.

“Invite her to stay with us.”

The words are casual and could be seen as considerate to anyone who didn’t know of the dark intentions looming in Heeseung’s mind. His wife almost chokes on her drink when she hears his suggestion. Her eyes widened the slightest bit. An unsettling amount of rage swims in her irises as his suggestion sinks in. It’s gone within a few seconds, but he caught it.

“Honey,” her voice is tight. “That’s very nice of you, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Heeseung challenges, raising an eyebrow at the fumbling woman.

“I– She—She probably won’t want to,” his wife clears her throat to cover up how flustered she feels. “I’m sure she already made plans to stay with one of her friends instead.”

“Call her.” It’s not a suggestion anymore. “Tell her to come stay with us.”

And that’s the moment his obsession began to spiral out of control.

It’s obvious that your mother isn’t thrilled about having you around, but Heeseung feels the exact opposite. Unlike his wife’s malicious description of you, you’re so unbearably sweet and polite to him that he can’t help but be completely endeared by you. He’s not sure if it’s his natural instinct or the inappropriate feelings he has, but he basks in the emotions you evoke from the depths of his heart.

You’re a sweet girl through and through, always offering to help around the house, or keeping him company when your mom’s working late. Heeseung can tell you genuinely like to help him and spend time with him which makes him all the more crazy for you.

This is incomparable to how he feels when he realizes how comfortable you’ve gotten around him. When Heeseung told you to treat his home as your own, you took him up on the offer (much to his pleasure). You sometimes walk around in a tiny nightie that barely covers anything or tiny sleep shorts and a thin tank top that does nothing to hide the fact that you aren’t wearing a bra.

“Good night, Hee,” you’d call from the door sweetly, leaning against the doorframe with an alluring smile.

His cock would spring awake, loving how you slowly started to use cute little nicknames for him. Heeseung can tell it bothers his wife. Her face twists the tiniest bit any time she hears you call him Hee. Not that he cares. In fact, he was quick to put her in her place when she scolded you for not calling him Mr. Lee. Much to her displeasure, Heeseung made it clear to both of you that you can call him whatever you want.

Making his wife upset was the last thing he cared about because nothing was more important than you and your happiness.

Heeseung usually doesn’t get up so early, but ever since he’s gotten used to sleeping next to his wife, he always notices when she’s not in bed next to him. He looks at his phone to see that it’s four in the morning. Just before sleep can claim him again, he hears faint voices. Even through the sleepy haze, he can tell it’s an unfriendly conversation.

Immediately, his mind goes to you. The thought that something might be happening to you or upsetting you has him springing out of bed. He speedwalks down the hall to your room. You have the second biggest one in the house not only because he wanted you to have the best, but because he wanted you close to him.

“—being serious. Don’t bother Heeseung while I’m away.” His wife’s harsh voice makes his stomach turn unpleasantly. “He’s a busy man, and I don’t want you getting on his nerves.”

“I won’t, mom.” You sound tired.

“Good,” she snaps. “And be grateful that he’s letting you stay here for free. Remember he can change his mind any time.”

Never.

“I know that,” you sound so down that Heeseung wants to gather you in his arms and reassure you that he’d never do something despicable like that. “I won’t get in his way”

“You better not,” your mom hisses. “I mean it, Y/N. We better not get back to find the house smelling like all your little friends.”

Now Heeseung wishes his business trip didn’t fall at the same time as your mother’s. She wouldn’t be berating you so much if he was staying behind. It’s especially infuriating because he explicitly told you it was okay to have friends over, just no boys. You laughed sweetly and promised him just that there would be no one over at all. It made him a bit sad because he didn’t want you being overly cautious.

“I’m not that irresponsible, mom. Like, I’m obviously not going to bring random people to a house that’s not mine.”

That feels like a punch to the gut. Heeseung had worked so hard to make you feel like this was your home, and it pisses him off that your mom is destroying all that work. Never in a million years would he have thought that his biggest obstacle in making you see this house as your own would be your own mother.

“Good. Also, don’t go into my room while I’m gone. I don’t need it smelling like you—”

Heeseung has to walk away. He can’t stand listening to his wife anymore. It makes him sick to his stomach to think that this is what you used to put up with all the time. No wonder you ran off to live with your ex as soon as you were able to.

His wife leaves in a few hours for the airport, and he decides right then and there that he’s going to show you the love you deserve.

Later that morning, Heeseung goes down to the living room to wait for you to wake up. He plans to spend the day with you and make sure you know that he doesn’t mind having you around. Luckily for him, he doesn’t have to wait long. You come downstairs shortly after in a pair of sweats and a large shirt, looking unbelievably cute. 

“Good morning, Hee,” you say with a sleepy smile.

“Morning,” he says in a strained voice. It takes everything in him not to call you a cute pet name like he desperately wants to. “Come watch TV with me.”

Heeseung pats the spot next to him with a pretty smile that makes your heart jerk. You can’t deny that the invitation excites you. And so, in spite of the nerves you feel, you go sit by him.

“I’m happy we can spend some time together,” Heeseung hums as he leans back against the cushions, stretching an arm over the back of the couch. “Come here.”

You’re such a good girl that you don’t hesitate to snuggle up under his arm. Heeseung feels completely alive when you make yourself comfortable against him. This is what his life should constantly be like. He drapes his arm across your shoulders and squeezes you against him. Heeseung can’t resist the temptation and presses a gentle kiss on the side of your head. You whimper softly when you feel his lips graze your ear.

Heeseung smirks into your hair and presses another gentle kiss to the tip of your ear. His cock twitches when he sees you press your thighs together but make no attempt to move away. He lets out a pleased hum and starts to press more kisses on the side of your head. Eventually, those sweet pecks start to trail down your neck. Now you can’t hold back your soft sighs of pleasure.

“You feel good, baby?” He wonders against your skin before he starts to bite and suck on it.

You tilt your head to give him more access. “Y-Yeah.”

It’s wrong, but your nipples get hard under your shirt, and you’re starting to feel hot all over. 

“Fuck. You have no idea what you do to me.”

You let out a quiet moan, mind swimming. “God, Hee.”

Heeseung nips at your neck. “Be a good girl for daddy, baby. Give me a kiss.”

As if you’re in a trance, you turn to meet his dark eyes before leaning in. Your eyes close when his lips meet yours. His lips are impossibly soft, and you moan when his tongue runs across your bottom lip before he forces it in your mouth. He kisses you with an urgency that makes you feel dizzy. Heeseung groans, cock throbbing as he tastes you to his desire. You’re just as sweet as he thought you’d be.

You whine when your stepdad reluctantly pulls away.

“You want more?” His smile is sweet yet teasing.

The way you nod has his cock twitching in his pants. He gives into your silent request, groaning as he kisses you again. Your tongues tangle together as he devours you, acting like your lips are the sweetest things he’s ever tasted. Every movement is passionate and is making your pussy pulse with need. Once again, it ends too quickly for your liking.

“Another one,” you demand cutely. “Please.”

Your stepdad’s smirk is so attractive, and it matches the heat in his eyes. Heeseung raises his eyebrow at you teasingly before he’s leaning back in to give you what you want. He groans into your mouth again when he feels one of your hands rest on his thigh.

Heeseung kisses you with more need as he slowly guides your hand to his very prominent bulge. He smirks when you gasp into his mouth after feeling how hard he is. You don’t fully pull away, so he uses that to playfully bite your bottom lip. Your cunt clenches at the action as your wide eyes look where your hand is cupping his dick.

“Look how hard you made me, sweetheart,” Heeseung whispers as he presses a gentle kiss on your temple. “Be a good girl and pull my cock out.”

Arousal is clouding your mind, which is why you don’t hesitate to do as he says. You unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants until you see his underwear. Licking your lips, you pull on his waistband while your other hand pulls his dick out.

Heeseung groans deeply as soon as your soft hand touches his hot skin. You’re gawking at it so cutely, and it’s obvious that you can’t look away. He smirks as his cock throbs in your hand.

Your stepdad’s dick is long and girthy. It’s also really fucking pretty—the prettiest one you’ve ever seen. Your mouth waters as you realize that it’s way bigger than Jake’s. The thought of taking it makes your pussy clench in anticipation. Your fingers slowly trail up the prominent veins to tease the leaking head. Fuck. You know it’s going to feel amazing.

“Shit, baby,” Heeseung groans. “Touch me as much as you want. Daddy’s cock is all yours.”

As if to prove his point, his dick twitches in your hand and more precum oozes from his fat tip. You run your fingers through the sticky mess, smearing it along the length as you start to caress the soft skin.

“It’s so big,” you whisper in awe as your clit pulses with need.

Heeseung groans and squeezes you into his side. The hand that’s hanging off your shoulder slowly trails down your body until it’s slipping inside your loose sweats. Heeseung’s cock leaks steadily as he goes to cup your hot cunt. Your stepdad shoves his face into your neck and groans. His lips drag against your skin as you use your hand to work his dick.

“Is this all for me, sweetheart?”

“Yes,” you whine as you start to roll your hips into his hand to get some friction. “Never been so wet before.”

Heeseung almost cums from your words alone. He pulls back to watch you grind your needy pussy into his palm. Your nails dig into his bicep as he presses his hand against you harder. Thet soft moans you’re letting out are driving him crazy. He bucks his hips into your hand, and you take the hint and move your hand faster.

“That’s it, baby. Ride my hand like a good little girl. My good girl,” he growls.

“Daddy,” you whine as your juices start to wet his hand.

“God, you’re perfect,” he grunts after kissing your cheek sweetly. “So fucking good for me.”

Slowly, he slips his hand out of your sweats and orders you to pull them off. Your core burns with need as you get off the couch to do as he says. 

“Come here.”

Heeseung pulls you into his lap so your back is against his chest. He holds your hips as his soft lips brush against your ear. 

“Take your panties off.”

You arch your hips up and slide your underwear down your legs until they’re all the way off. Heeseung groans when he sees your bare pussy. Your stepdad hooks your legs over thighs so your pussy is spread and on display for him. He whispers a quiet be good before he slaps his hand on your sensitive clit. You cry out when he spanks your cunt again.

“You like getting your pussy slapped, don’t you, little girl?”

Your toes are curling in your socks as you arch back into Heeseung, grinding down on the dick you feel against your ass. He starts to fuck it between your plump cheeks, groaning at how filthy you are. He fucking loves it.

“Yes, daddy,” you gasp out wantonly. “I love it when you slap my little pussy.”

Heeseung smirks and gives your swollen clit another stinging slap. Your body jerks like you’ve been electrocuted, and you moan loudly from the tingling feeling coursing through your pussy. The smacks keep coming, each harder than the last. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your stepdad keeps spanking your throbbing pussy. At this point, you can’t do anything other than moan. 

Heeseung stops his movements to slip his middle and ring fingers into your tight hole. You’re completely submerged in pleasure as you feel his wedding band glide against your slick walls.

“Fuck, little girl,” Heeseung laughs delightedly. “Even your mom doesn’t get this wet for me. You’re just a perfect little slut, aren’t you?”

You clench hard around his fingers at those words. Your hips are rolling, grinding your ass into his wet cock while you fuck his fingers deeper into your pussy.

“Oh?” Heeseung’s voice gets deeper. “You like hearing that your stepdad likes you better than your mom?”

You’re moaning again as you dizzily nod your head. “Yes, fuck. Tell me how you like my pussy better than hers, daddy.”

Heeseung moans, fucking his cock faster against your plump ass. “Shit, baby. You know you’re better than your mom. Ever since she introduced me to you, I knew you were better.”

“Daddy!” You moan loudly as his fingers continue to plunge into you at a quick pace.

Heeseung feels you tightening around his fingers. Your cunt is so hot and tight, and he knows it’ll feel better wrapped around his cock. He starts to plant wet kisses on your neck, wanting to push you over the edge.

“You gonna cum for daddy, baby?”

Those words are enough to get you to do just that. The coil in your stomach snaps as you cum around your stepdad’s long fingers. 

Seeing you cum on his lap helps Heeseung reach his own climax. He cums with a groan of your name, grinding his cock into your soft ass as he releases his thick cum on your lower back. Your stepdad slowly pulls his fingers out of your pussy with a lewd wet sound before bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them. His moan makes your core throb all over again.

“So fucking sweet.”

Before you can say anything in response, Heeseung’s ringtone cuts through the silence. He tugs you closer as he goes to answer the phone. You’re too distracted to listen to what’s being said, but you come to your senses when Heeseung grumbles something about heading to the airport right away.

“You’re leaving?”

It kills Heeseung to hear how vulnerable you sound. He buries his face in your neck again, scenting you to reassure you that him leaving has nothing to do with what just happened.

“The clients want to meet sooner than planned. I have to go.”

You can feel his pout against your skin, and your heart thrums with fondness. Heeseung has always been unexpectedly cute in your eyes. That’s why it was so easy for you to give into him.

“Okay,” you relax against him. “I understand.”

As always, you’re a perfect angel through and through. Heeseung presses a soft kiss to your neck before he helps you stand. Immediately, he helps you clean up before going upstairs to shower. He really doesn’t want to leave, but he can’t act irresponsibly no matter how badly he wants to. And now that he knows you want him just as much as he wants you, he’ll have plenty of time to make you all his.

Once Heeseung has all his things, he goes downstairs to find you waiting for him. He gathers you in his arms, not really wanting to let you go. When he pulls back, he gives you a passionate kiss to remind you that he doesn’t regret what’s happened between you two.

“When you get back, can we play some more?” You ask hopefully.

Heeseung grunts softly at the imagery he’s creating in his head. “Of course, baby. I’m all yours now.”

Coming back home from a long and tiring business trip isn’t anything new for Heeseung. What is new is the excitement he has to get home. He knows you’ll be waiting for him, and he can’t wait to show you how much he’s missed you.

The excitement he feels is ruined completely when he gets off his plane and finds his wife waiting for him. It’s an unpleasant surprise, but she doesn’t realize just how badly she ruined the day. Heeseung almost wishes he would’ve asked for a divorce before he boarded the plane. At least then he wouldn’t have had to deal with her right when he got back home.

“How was the trip, honey?”

“Fine,” Heeseung’s voice is curt, but once again, his wife seems impervious to his obvious attitude.

He doesn’t ask about her trip, but she tells him anyway. She talks all the way back to the house as if Heeseung is actually listening to her. In reality, he’s an expert in blocking her out at this point. This time is way easier since all his thoughts are filled with nothing but you.

The house is quiet when they arrive, and Heeseung barely holds back from calling your name. Your mom is obviously not interested in seeing you because she suggests going out for dinner after they go upstairs and put their things away. He doesn’t feel bad for turning down her suggestion with the excuse of being jet lagged.

As soon as Heeseung and his wife get on the second floor, the overwhelming scent of an omega in heat hits them. Heeseung’s cock comes alive instantly, getting completely hard in less than a minute. Without waiting for his wife to follow, he goes directly toward your room where the pungent smell is coming from.

Heeseung throws your door open without bothering to knock. What he finds is devastating to him. You’re laying in the middle of the large bed in nothing but a large shirt, eyes screwed shut as you tremble in pain. The thin sheen of sweat lining your forehead is evidence that you’ve been in heat for a while now.

Your eyes slowly open and settle directly on your stepdad. They stare at him before slowly trailing down to the large bulge in his pants. You lick your lips, and it takes everything in Heeseung not to rip your clothes off and take you right then and there.

“Y/N!” His wife’s angry voice brings him out of his debased fantasy. “Why the hell are you in heat?”

Heeseung looks back at his wife with an incredulous glare. So many things are going through his mind, but one question keeps coming up. Why is she so angry over something that’s natural?

“Sorry, mom,” you say through a pant. “I ran out of the suppressants you gave me.”

Before you can continue, Heeseung turns to your mother with a murderous look on his face. “You gave her suppressants?”

An omega taking suppressants is practically unheard of since they cause so many health issues. The drugs are practically poison, and the fact that your own mother was giving them to you made him sick to his stomach. It makes him think back to the first time he met you. Now he understands why she was so determined to hide what she was so insistent on giving you.

“They help her,” his wife says frantically. “But that’s not the point right now. She has to leave so her heat doesn’t affect you.”

Heeseung growls under his breath. Over his dead body will you leave his house looking and smelling how you do.

Your mom turns her nasty glare back on you. “Call Jake and have him pick you up. I’m sure he won’t have any problem helping you through your heat—”

“Get out,” Heeseung spits, barely controlling his rage.

How dare his wife suggest that you ask another man to help you through your heat? No one except him is ever going to see you like this.

“What?” His wife’s stunned expression only makes him growl impatiently.

“I’m going to help Y/N through her heat.”

Your mom’s eyes widen in anger, and she glares over at you like what’s happening is your fault. Normally, you’d feel guilty or anxious about upsetting your mom, but the pain isn’t letting you think straight. You need Heeseung’s cock, and you don’t care if it’s going to hurt your mom in the process.

Heeseung ignores his wife and goes to you. He sits down on the bed next to you before pulling you on his lap. A soft moan of relief cuts through the tense silence as his hard bulge presses up right against where you need him the most. You feel so hot all over, and your head is clouded with such potent arousal that you forget your mom is still standing in the room until Heeseung looks at her over your shoulder.

“I told you to get out,” he growls. A mean smirk takes over his face. “Unless you want to watch me knot your daughter.”

You whimper and roll your hips into Heeseung. The fact that he’s saying he’s going to give you his knot is making you gush with more slick. It excites you that he’s going to help you, and to think he doesn’t care to hide it from your mom makes a deep satisfaction settle inside you.

His wife is looking on with tears in her eyes. She’s disgusted and enraged, but she knows no matter what she says or does, Heeseung isn’t going to change his mind.

“It hurts, daddy,” you whine as you grind your pussy on his clothed dick, no longer thinking to spare any of your mom’s feelings. “Want you to make me feel better.”

You swivel your hips and press down harder onto his hard cock. With a throaty groan, Heeseung grabs your ass to help you bounce on his bulge. “Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s going to give you exactly what you need.”

His voice dips into a low moan when you lean forward to lick and bite at the sensitive spot on his neck. You feel his cock twitch and kick against your panty clad pussy, and it makes you whine.

Your mom flinches when she sees Heeseung’s glare from over your shoulder. It’s a silent command for her to get out, and she finally does. She doesn’t get far, only being able to take a few steps out of your room before she collapses on the floor with a quiet sob.

“Fuck, little girl. Couldn’t wait until your mom was out of the room, huh?” His laugh is cruel, but it only turns you on.

“Don’t care,” you whine before leaning in to smash your mouth against his. “Just want your cock.”

You gently nip his bottom lip before messily forcing your tongue into his mouth. There’s a desperation you’ve never felt before as you grind down on his thick cock. The fact that he’s leaking with enough precum to stain his pants is driving you more insane. You keep rocking your hips so your clit rubs against the rough material of his jeans.

“Yeah?” Heeseung groans when you pull away. He continues to help you grind your messy pussy on his bulge. “You need daddy to stuff your little pussy?”

Your eyes roll back when he dry humps your pussy slowly. He’s grinding the thick outline of his cock right against your wet slit to get you more riled up than you already are. 

Eventually, Heeseung decides he needs to prep you. Because as badly as he wants you, he can’t forget that this is your first real heat. So, he pulls you off his lap and tosses you back on the bed.

“I need to taste you properly, sweetheart. Last time wasn’t enough.”

A tingle goes straight to your pussy when he pulls your large shirt off and tosses it across your room. Heeseung buries his nose between your legs, sniffing across your soaked panties. The fabric sticks to your pussy lips, allowing your stepdad to lick at your clit easily. 

“Oh, daddy!” you moan, hands reaching down to tangle your hands in his hair.

He grunts and laps up the slick leaking down your thighs before roughly rips your underwear off to lap at your leaking hole. 

“You taste so fucking good, little girl,” his muffled voice causes vibrations that make your toes curl. “Fuck. I could eat your little cunt all day.”

“Daddy, please,” you grind against his mouth, eyes locked on his blown out gaze.

He hums and the vibrations make your clit tingle as more slick drips onto his tongue. The thick muscle slides in and out of your hole before he licks his way back up to your clit. You cry out wantonly when your stepdad softly sucks the swollen bud into his mouth. Your thighs tremble as his tongue swirls around your pudgy clit before he starts to gently suckle on it.

“It feels so fucking good,” you moan loudly, thighs falling open as far as they can go.

Heeseung growls, tongue fucking your pussy until sloppy wet sounds fill the room. His hands trail up the underside of your thighs to push your legs to your chest. You moan when he pulls back to spit on your cunt. He quickly dives back in, burying his face in your soaked pussy. Another loud cry tumbles out of you when he starts to lick and suck on your sensitive nub.

“Such a sweet pussy,” Heeseung moans.

His tongue languidly laps at your wet folds, eyes locked with yours from where he’s lying between your legs. Your stepdad’s hands come up to the inside of your thighs and press down, leaving you spread open for his hungry mouth. The sight of his beautiful face buried in your cunt makes you drip with more slick. Heeseung keeps licking into your slick hole like a starved man, desperate to not waste one drop of your sweet essence. You’re crying out for him as your hips roll into his mouth. He pulls away slightly to spit into your pussy again before fucking his spit into your clenching hole.

You moan and pull on his hair. The dark strands are wrapped around your fingers to help guide his face to where you want it most. Heeseung smirks against you and starts to press wet, open mouthed kisses on your throbbing clit. He sucks the swollen bud into his mouth and flicks his tongue against it over and over again. Your stepdad hums into your pussy, suckling on your clit softly as he indulges in your sweet taste.

“I’m gonna cum! You’re gonna make me cum, daddy!" you moan loudly.

“Cum all over my face, sweetheart. Show daddy how good he makes you feel,” your stepdad says before he presses his face between your folds to suck your clit back into his mouth.

“Daddy!” You moan loudly as you cum.

You jolt as your slick completely coats his lower jaw and slowly starts to drip down his chin. He looks so hot covered in your juices that another wave of arousal hits you with full force.

“Messy fucking girl,” Heeseung grunts as he starts to take off his clothes.

Your mouth waters when you see his big cock slap his lower abdomen. Since he’s been gone, you’ve been dreaming about that pretty dick every night. 

Heeseung goes to kiss you roughly, eagerly shoving his tongue into your mouth. Tasting yourself makes you arch up into his body. Fuck. You’re so turned on and desperate that you feel like you might die if he doesn’t shove his cock inside you soon.

Seeing you so needy makes Heeseung pull back slightly to stroke his cock. Your eyes follow his movements, and you lick your lips when you see the amount of precum beading at the tip. With a deep groan, your stepdad notches his leaking tip against your clenching hole. Heeseung groans as he glides the fat head up your slit to smack it against your clit.

The feeling of the hot skin of his cock pulsing against your pussy makes you whine desperately. He keeps dragging his dripping cock against your throbbing cunt repeatedly, loving how you’re squirming against him. Teasing you is everything he imagined it would be, and he makes a note to do it often from now on. Heeseung thrusts his hips to rub his cock through the slick dripping from your cunt, moaning at how easily it coats the length of his cock.

“Look how deep daddy’s cock is gonna go, baby.” His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it.

Heeseung uses his thumb to press his tip down against your skin as your unfocused eyes take in how far his cock will reach inside your needy cunt. It pulses and throbs, and more slick leaks out of you.

“Oh god, daddy. It’s too big,” you mewl even though the thought of having his monster cock inside you turns you on to no end. 

With an endeared chuckle, he pulls his cock back to slide it across your pudgy bud. The bulbous head grinds against your sensitive clit until you’re whining and dripping more slick onto your sheets.

“Your pretty pussy’s just small, sweetheart,” he coos softly before he licks a broad stripe up your neck. “But don’t worry. Daddy’s gonna stretch out your cute little cunt so you can take my knot.”

Those filthy words make you whine and buck your hips desperately.

“Ready to take this cock, little girl?”

Without waiting for an answer, he slips the head of his dick inside your clenching hole. He presses into your pussy slowly, and it makes you moan wantonly as you instantly feel some of your pain fade. Your moan breaks off into a gasp when you feel the burning stretch.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be tight,” he laughs in delight. “A tight little pussy for daddy.”

You dig your nails into his back, eyes rolling into your skull as his girthy cock stretches your cunt. “It’s too big, daddy.”

“Too big?” Heeseung repeats as he gently bites your neck. “I guess daddy’s just going to have to train you to take his big cock then, huh?”

With that, he sinks his cock another inch into your clenching hole. Your walls clench down on his dick and make his hips stutter. His veiny cock feels so fucking good that you that the unbearable pain fades instantly. You feel so full and stretched out, but you want more. Your body reacts by getting wetter, easing the way for Heeseung to bully his cock further into your pussy until he bottoms out.

“I’m gonna spend all week training you, little girl,” he promises. “Daddy’s staying buried in this cute little pussy until you’re all nice and bred.”

You moan high in your throat, walls clamping down around Heeseung’s thick cock as you cum hard.

“Oh, fuck me,” he laughs, extremely pleased. “You like that? Like that I’m gonna breed this sweet pussy all week?”

He pulls his cock halfway out then slowly sinks back into your wet and willing body. You mewl as your cream coats his cock. 

“Yes, daddy! Want you to stuff me full all week long!”

Heeseung starts fucking his cock deeper into your pussy, eager to give you what you want. He reaches between your bodies and begins to rub and pinch your clit. “I’m gonna fuck you through your heat, sweetheart. Gonna cream this pussy over and over again.”

You’re letting out filthy moans like your mom isn’t right outside your room crying her eyes out because you’re fucking her husband. Not that you care. All you can think about is the mind-numbing pleasure you’re receiving.

“Cum on my cock again, baby,” Heeseung groans as he spears his cock into your sloppy hole. “I want you to squeeze me with that hot little cunt while I cum in you.”

You cry out loudly as his leaking tips rams into your g-spot. Your stepdad’s girthy cock is rutting into your squelching cunt mercilessly, heavy balls slapping against your ass with every thrust. Heeseung’s fingers circle your clit until your pussy is clenching and spasming around him again.

“Are you gonna give me your cum, daddy?” Your eyes shine with anticipation. “Your knot?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna give you a nice hot load. Then, I’m gonna knot you so it takes. That’s how much I love you.”

His words make you gush more slick, eyes rolling back as the musky scent of sex fills the room. You cry out, feeling feral all over again.

“Fuck yes!” You scream in pleasure. “Cream my little pussy, daddy! Want it so fucking bad!”

“Yeah? Then let’s make it easier.”

Without letting you answer, Heeseung pulls out of you with a lewd squelching sound and flips you onto your hands and knees. One of his hands presses down on your back while the other grips your hip to raise your ass up. Your stepdad’s big cock slides into your hot cunt much easier in this position. He bottoms out with a loud groan as you claw at your sheets.

Mewling, you press your ass backwards, working more of Heeseung’s big cock into your dripping pussy. You feel your slick dripping down your thighs and coat his heavy balls.

“Want you to knot me,” you slur, nails digging into your plush bedding. “Want your knot, daddy!”

He growls and starts to slam his cock into your sloppy pussy, making you cry out from the rough movement. Your walls clamp and pulse around his fat dick as he keeps spearing you open. The way you moan and mewl for him only makes him fuck you harder.

“Good girl,” he groans loudly, making you shiver all over. “My good little girl.”

“Daddy,” you whimper as your pussy walls flutter around his thick length.

Heeseung’s cock throbs inside you. He pulls out halfway before roughly slamming his dick back into your sopping wet hole. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he says as he squeezes the globes of your ass. Your eyes roll back as his fingers dig into your skin. “This perfect pussy was made for me. Isn’t that right, baby?”

“Yes!” You gasp out in agreement as Heeseung pounds your cunt hard. “This little pussy is all yours, daddy!”

Heeseung moans loudly and spanks your bouncing ass. You scream, pussy fluttering and pulsing around his dick as your third orgasm takes you both by surprise. 

“Good girl,” he coos, grabbing the fat of your ass with both hands again. “Such a good fucking girl. Gripping me with your tight pussy and working for my knot like a good little slut.”

Your body trembles as Heeseung keeps thrusting his fat cock right against your g-spot. His fat tip slams against your cervix, and you can’t stop crying out in pleasure.

“Cum one more time for me, pretty girl,” your stepdad roughly spanks your ass again, making you whine. “Just give me one more, and I’ll knot this pretty pussy so you’re nice and full. Don’t you want that? For your hot cunt to be bred until you’re stuffed to the brim?”

“Please, daddy!” You cry out, ass bouncing back against his rough thrusts. “Want your knot! Want it so fucking bad!”

One of his hands slides down your body to circle the swollen bundle of nerves coated in your slick. Your pussy clamps down on his dick as he softly teases your clit. 

“That’s it, baby.” Heeseung hunches over your back to kiss your neck. His tongue laps against your sweaty skin right over the sensitive spot that’s meant to take his mark. “I feel you getting tighter, baby. Cream all over my cock.”

As Heeseung keeps hammering into your pussy, his fingers circle and tease across your pudgy bud until one last thrust has your orgasm whiting out your vision. Your ears ring so loud you don’t even hear as your stepdad curses against your neck while he snaps his hips against your ass before burying his cock deep in your spasming pussy.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m gonna cum,” he pants into your neck. “Take my knot. Fuck. Take it.”

You cry out loudly. That desperate noise has Heeseung fucking his cock deep inside you until he cums.

“That’s it,” he’s groaning and panting as he licks at your neck. “Milk my cock, little girl.”

You wail when his knot locks you together, stretching your cunt even further as you feel his hot thick cum spill inside you. Ropes and ropes of his hot seed spill into your pussy, and you love that his knot is keeping it stuffed inside you.

“So good for me,” Heeseung groans, hands smoothing over your sides and back. He starts to scent you. “Such a perfect omega. So fucking perfect.”

You sigh in content, body going limp as Heeseung continues to fill your pussy with load after load. You’ve heard that alphas cum more than usual when helping an omega in heat, but you didn’t expect it to be this much. Not that you’re complaining. You’re taking every drop he gives you with a blissful smile on your face

Your stepdad grinds his dick inside your pussy until the steady stream of cum stops filling you. He slowly shifts your bodies until you’re both able to lay on your sides comfortably. Heeseung buries his nose in your neck as his hands start to caress your body. 

“Feels nice,” you mumble, relaxing even further against him.

“Good.” He says before he kisses your neck.

You mewl when he keeps pressing soft kisses on your neck and dragging his teeth over a sensitive spot that no one else has dared to touch. Heeseung keeps you two in the same position until his knot slowly deflates.

You whine when he slowly pulls out. Heeseung watches with dark eyes as his cum leaks out of your pussy. He uses two of his fingers to scoop it up and smear it across your clit. You mewl as slick starts to drip out of you again. Heeseung takes the opportunity to shove your legs open and rub your clit until your body arches off the bed. A mix of slick and cum gushes from your pussy as you climax again.

“Let me lick that pussy, baby,” Heeseung murmurs as he starts kissing his way down your body. “Want to suck on that swollen little bud until you’re creaming my tongue.”

“Fuck,” your whine is high-pitched and needy. “Do it, daddy. I want your mouth on my pussy.”

He groans and sloppily kisses your slit in thanks. When he pulls back a bit, you see his lips coated with your juices. Your pussy pulses and clenches in eagerness.

“So messy, sweetheart.” 

With that, your stepdad pushes your thighs against the bed to keep you spread for him. He repeatedly plants wet kisses on your pulsing clit, worshipping you until you’re writhing against him. His teeth scrape and nip your pudgy nub as his dark eyes watch you carefully. 

Heeseung spanks your pussy when you keep squirming. He smirks when you jolt with a loud cry. Slick pours out of you, filling the room with your lovely scent. It’s your body’s way of signaling that it’s ready to be knotted again. 

“What a needy little girl,” he coos as he blows air on your soaked cunt. “Just desperate for me to clean up this sloppy pussy, hm?”

“Yes, yes!” You moan, pussy throbbing with need. “Eat my pussy, daddy. Lick me clean.”

“Dirty little slut,” Heeseung groans before he slaps your wet cunt again. “I’m gonna stay here with you all night. Keep my tongue buried in your tight hole until you squirt all over me.”

“Fuck. Yes, yes!” you moan as you arch your hips up to entice him. “Let me cum all over your face, daddy!”

Heeseung smirks and buries his face in your cunt to give you what you want.

You lose complete track of time as Heeseung makes you cum on his tongue over and over again. After the second orgasm, you start squirting like he wants. He’s so delighted that he keeps fucking his tongue into you, indulging himself in your addicting taste. You’re happy to lay there and let him eat your pussy until you’re nothing more than a gushing mess.

“Good girl,” Heeseung moans into your cunt, his face completely drenched in your slick.

You mewl in response, hoping he’s had enough fun playing with your pussy to give you his cock. He flips you over and arches your back so your ass and pussy are on full display for him. He groans when he sees your soaked pussy and thighs. 

“Hee,” you whimper desperately. “Want your cock.”

“Spread those legs for me, baby. Show daddy that sloppy pussy.”

With a loud whine, you bend forward more and spread your thighs apart further to give him a better view of your holes. Your pussy is dripping with slick, and Heeseung commits the filthy sight to memory. 

“Daddy,” you whimper. “Please.”

Your stepdad lets out a deep laugh before his hands slide down your back to cup your ass and spread you open even more. Heeseung groans deeply.

“God, baby. I’m never gonna get tired of seeing this hot cunt gushing for me,” he tells you with a pleased hum. “I’m gonna breed this little pussy all night.”

“Please,” you beg through a moan, pressing your ass back against him. “Want it so bad, daddy.”

Heeseung rubs his cock against your soaked pussy lips, gathering your wetness all over his length. He licks his lips, loving how you feel against him. His cock throbs because he can tell how badly you’re aching to be fucked and knotted and stuffed full of cum.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re gonna get my knot. I’m gonna stuff your little pussy to the brim.” Heeseung promises before he slams his cock into your clenching heat.

Your moan is loud as he completely bottoms out into your needy pussy. Heeseung doesn’t let you adjust and pulls all the way out before slamming back inside. Your stepdad’s instincts completely take over, his only goal being to knot and breed your pussy. 

You cry out when you feel your cunt stretching around his dick. He groans and drapes his chest across your back, hips slamming against your ass. The lewd sounds of skin slapping and the wet squelching of your pussy fills the room. You whine loudly, turned on from the fact that your mom can hear all the filthy noises.

“I’m gonna keep you knotted for hours, make sure it takes,” Heeseung groans before he starts to nip at your jawline, 

“Fuck!” You mewl wantonly. “I want it, daddy! Want you to breed my pussy so fucking bad!”

Your legs start to shake when Heeseung reaches around to play with your clit. He bites down on your neck and starts spearing his fat cock into your clenching hole. He fucks you deep and fast, his slowly expanding knot brushing your entrance with every rock of his hips. You can only lay there and take it, moaning and whining in pleasure as he fucks your pussy. His cock pounds your soaked cunt, thick head knocking against your cervix. 

“Good girl,” he groans, biting at your ear. “Good girls deserve to have their cute little pussies bred, don’t they, sweetheart?”

“Yes!” you cry as he rubs your clit faster. “I’m gonna cum, daddy. Gonna cream your fat knot.”

“That’s it, little girl,” he keeps rubbing fast circles on your swollen bud. “Cum all over me. Show me how much you want me to fill your pretty pussy.”

Heeseung starts to bite and suck on your neck as you moan for him. His hips snap against yours as he roughly fucks you into the mattress. With every thrust, his balls slap against your slippery clit until he’s pulling another orgasm from your exhausted body. 

“Best fucking pussy I’ve ever had,” Heeseung groans, pulling out to slam back in, dick bullying into your swollen, fluttering walls. “Goddamn. You’re so fucking tight. My little girl just loves her stepdad’s dick so much.”

“I fucking love it, daddy!” You cry out. “Love your big cock so much!”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your orgasm overtakes your senses. Heeseung groans as your cream stains his cock. Your body trembles as your pussy milks his dick. His hips piston against your ass, dragging your orgasm out until you spiral into a second one. Your stepdad groans, hips pumping his cock into your dripping cunt harshly.

Heeseung buries his cock deep in your spasming hole, knot locking you together as his cum floods your cunt, breeding your pussy full. He groans your name as he cums, walls milking him to shoot hot rope after rope of hot cum inside your little pussy. Pleasure consumes your entire body as you feel each spurt of his thick cum pumping into your cunt. 

“Taking it so good, baby,” he murmurs against your neck, tongue licking the sweat beading at your skin. “Such a perfect little slut.”

You hum dazedly, body sinking down across your bed as you feel each spurt of his thick seed filling your pussy. 

“So full, daddy,” you mewl, legs shaking as he softly ruts his knot further into you.

That’s how you spend the rest of your night. Being knotted by your stepdad over and over again until you can’t handle anymore. 

It’s almost dawn by the time your mom hears all the filthy moans and groans from your room stop. By now, she’s ran her tears dry, and she thinks she might not be able to cry for a long time. With a heavy heart, she gets up from her bed and walks to your room. The heartbreaking sight of you laying on her husband’s chest, sleeping peacefully as he caresses your head is like a breaking point.

There’s a blanket draped over your bodies, but she can te you’re both still naked. She feels sick at the thought of her husband’s cock still being lodged inside you.

Heeseung turns his dark eyes on her, not at all affected by her puffy, bloodshot eyes. Her pitiful face only makes him feel disgusted.

“You’re not coming to bed?” Her voice is hoarse and weak.

“I’m still knotted to your daughter.”

A lone tear slips down her cheek.

“Heeseung—”

“You should leave. Y/N’s heat is more intense because of how long it was suppressed.” Heeseung’s voice is cold. “We can discuss the divorce after I finish helping her through it.”

His wife sobs, but he doesn’t feel sorry. He can’t. Especially not now that he’s finally had you in the way he wants. She turns and walks away from him like a zombie. He groans when you shift against him in your sleep. Your movements tug gently on his knot, and it makes his cock throb and twitch in need.

Heeseung hums in content. When you get up, he’s going to knot you all over again. Except this time, he’ll do it on his own bed since that’s where you’ll be sleeping soon.

As soon as your mom gets out of his house, he’s going to have you take her place. No matter how badly she begs, Heeseung won’t change his mind because he knows that there’s no getting rid of this feeling he has for you, and he doesn’t care what he has to do to keep you at his side forever.

[hooniq]

3:17 ᴀᴍ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ — ʟᴇᴇ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ — ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴᴏɴʏᴍᴏᴜꜱ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴅᴄᴀꜱᴛ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡꜱ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ ᴡʜᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ.

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ — ᴇxᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ, ᴀɴᴏɴʏᴍᴏᴜꜱ ꜱᴜʙᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴꜱ, ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʀᴀᴅɪᴏ ʜᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ, ʟɪɴɢᴇʀɪɴɢ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ, ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇꜱꜱʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ꜱᴍᴀᴜ, ᴄʜᴀᴏᴛɪᴄ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱʜɪᴘꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ — ᴘʀᴏꜰᴀɴɪᴛʏ, ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴏʀ, ᴜɴꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ, Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴄᴏᴘɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴄʜᴀɴɪꜱᴍꜱ, ᴇxᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜɴʀᴇꜱᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢꜱ, ᴇxᴄᴇꜱꜱɪᴠᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ɴɪɢʜᴛ ꜱᴘɪʀᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴜꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀᴄᴇᴄʟᴀɪᴍꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ɪɴᴀᴄᴄᴜʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱᴛᴀᴍᴘꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴜɴʀᴇᴀʟɪꜱᴛɪᴄ ᴘᴏᴅᴄᴀꜱᴛ/ʀᴀᴅɪᴏ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ꜱɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ — ᴏɴɢᴏɪɴɢ

ᴘʟᴀʏʟɪꜱᴛ

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ — ᴏᴘᴇɴ

ᴍ. ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

9.5 ᴀꜱ ᴍᴇ ᴘᴛ.3

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

🢘ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ɴᴇxᴛ🢚

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @enhoonxx @wndrlndhee @zqxej @cokewithcameron @sievenderz @written-by-music @jenlunes @bensabrifirildak @kociluvsatoru @ellsbigshoes @jazzygirlengene @kluvswon @wonceinalifetime @adorevxn @iiunique @hee-isyumaf @jakeycakeys @firstclassjaylee @wvndrls @bananabread785 @k4y-sh @hevvannn @shoberrii @heeseungismywifee @xoheedeung @yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii8 @ocyeanica03 @sfiakamo @sunnyinwonderland @kioxflw @svtenfate @goosemantheweeb @nattisbored

[layxmint]

HeeHoon Audio MDNI❗️

Sunghoon thought it would be cute to tease Heeseung about his size, in result Heeseung had to show him how big he really is🩵

🔼Heeseung

🔽Sunghoon

[gyuuberryy]

user error

pairing: nerd!jake x reader

genre: college au, eventual simp x simp dynamic, smut, slow burn

synopsis: getting partnered with jake, the tall awkward nerd from on of your computer science classes, should've been simple—work on the project, get your grade, move on. except now you're completely obsessed with him and he's totally clueless about it. between tutoring sessions you definitely don't need and "coincidental" dorm hall run-ins, you're pulling out all the stops. too bad jake's more interested in his textbooks than your very obvious flirting.

you've never been rejected before, so this should be fine. …right?

warnings (MDNI 18+ only!!) : smut (oral sex(f. and m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, size difference, big dick!jake, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pussy drunk!jake, dry humping, heavy makeout, whiny!jake), cursing, mild alcohol use, emotional manipulation, jealousy, themes of insecurity, angst, lots computer science related terms(i kind of geeked out here), reader's kind of delulu and a jerk

note: i'm back to my writing style for lighthearted fics for this one hehe. i lovelovelove nerdy shy men tropes sooo much. i did try to keep it a little realistic though. i hope you like this! enjoyyy

word count: 21.8k

taglist | more works!

you were alone in the computer science lab at nearly midnight, which wasn't unusual. assignments had a way of turning the building into a second home. but tonight felt wrong. everything felt too much. the lights buzzed too loud, drilling into your skull with that persistent electrical hum. your eyes burned from staring at your screen for four hours straight, vision going fuzzy at the edges. somewhere around hour three, you'd stopped actually processing code and started just staring through it.

your cold coffee sat forgotten beside your laptop, abandoned but still somehow necessary because the alternative was admitting defeat and going back to your dorm where your roommate and her boyfriend were probably still taking up the entire common space. you'd rather deal with this. the overstimulation. the way every tiny sound felt amplified in the empty lab. the aggressive brightness of your laptop screen. the uncomfortable pressure building behind your eyes that meant you were about to either cry or throw your laptop across the room. probably both.

your code wasn't working. hadn't been working for two days, and you'd tried everything. every forum suggestion, every stack overflow solution, every pathetic office hours visit where you'd explained your problem three times and still left confused. the cursor blinked at you on line two thousand and forty seven, mocking. the compiler kept throwing errors you didn't understand, and you'd rewritten that function six times already. your hands shook slightly from too much caffeine and not enough food. that tight, hot feeling crept up your throat. the one that signalled imminent breakdown.

you pressed your palms against your eyes until you saw spots, trying to reset something in your overwhelmed nervous system. didn't work. nothing worked tonight.

the silence in the lab was the worst part, it was so quiet that it made you hyper-aware of your own breathing, your heartbeat, the small wet sound your tongue made against the roof of your mouth when you swallowed. you hated it.

then suddenly, the power cut out. total darkness that swallowed everything in an instant, your laptop screen going black, even the emergency exit signs disappearing. your heart kicked into overdrive, adrenaline flooding so fast you felt dizzy. you reached out instinctively for your laptop, fingers scrabbling across the desk, needing to confirm it was still there, that everything you'd been working on wasn't just gone.

suddenly you heard footsteps. someone else was in the lab. you hadn't known anyone else was here. the realisation sent fear spiking through your chest because you'd been so certain you were alone. now there was someone moving closer, footsteps uneven and hurried like they couldn't see any better than you. you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could form words there was sudden pressure against your shoulder, hard and unexpected, and then there was the splash of cold liquid, spreading across your lap and chest.

your coffee. the cup tipped and spilt, liquid soaking through your jeans, spreading sticky and uncomfortable across your thighs. panic hit first, pure and primal, because for a split second all you could think was laptop, everything's gone, hours of work, my entire project. your hands flew out in the darkness, patting frantically at the desk, trying to assess the damage. your chest was so tight you couldn't get a full breath.

then came the anger. fast and hot and overwhelming, rising from somewhere deep in your stomach. you wanted to scream. wanted to grab whoever crashed into you and shake them. wanted to cry from sheer frustration because this was exactly what you didn't need tonight, not when you were already hanging on by a thread.

"oh my god, oh my god, i'm so sorry, i didn't see you, i didn't think anyone else was here, i'm so sorry." the voice came rapid-fire from somewhere to your left. male, young, pitched higher than normal with genuine distress. 

he kept apologising, words tumbling over each other, and there was something in his tone that didn't sound rehearsed. he sounded actually afraid, like he'd just committed some unforgivable sin. 

"i didn't mean to, i couldn't see, the power just went out and i was trying to get to the door and i'm so sorry, did it get on your laptop? please tell me it didn't get on your laptop."

you took a breath, trying to force words past the tightness in your throat, trying to formulate some response that matched the fury still coursing through your veins. your mouth opened, something sharp and cutting right on the edge of your tongue.

the emergency lighting kicked in. not much, just pale green strips along the baseboards casting everything in eerie, insufficient glow. enough to see by. enough to make out shapes, faces.

the guy who'd run into you stood about two feet away, and the first thing you noticed was his hands. hovering in the air between you, trembling visibly even in the dim light, fingers spread like he wanted to help but didn't dare touch anything. he was tall and lean, dark hair stuck up in odd directions like he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly. glasses had slipped down his nose, and behind them his eyes were wide. genuinely panicked in a way that didn't feel performed at all.

"your laptop," he said, voice still shaking with that same desperate concern. "what model is it? did the coffee get on it? the keyboard is the main concern, if liquid got into the keyboard we need to shut it down immediately and flip it over to drain, we need to know if you had everything backed up." 

he was already moving closer, trembling hands reaching toward your desk, and you realised with a start that he hadn't even looked at you properly yet. his entire focus was on your laptop. on the problem he'd created. on fixing it.

"it's fine," you managed, voice coming out rougher than intended. you looked down at your computer. sitting safely to the right of where your coffee had been, completely dry and unharmed. "it didn't get on it."

the relief that washed over his face was so profound you almost felt embarrassed witnessing it. his shoulders sagged. his hands finally dropped to his sides. he let out a long, shaky breath like he'd been holding it since the collision.

 "okay. okay, that's good, that's really good." then, almost as an afterthought, his eyes finally moved to actually look at you. taking in your coffee-soaked lap, your tense posture, your expression which you were sure wasn't friendly. "are you okay? did you get burned? that coffee looked hot, if it was hot we should get you to a sink, run cold water on it."

"it was cold," you said. true, but didn't make the situation better. your jeans were soaked through, fabric clinging uncomfortably to your skin, coffee starting to seep into your chair. you were sticky and irritated and still running on too much adrenaline. but he looked so genuinely distressed that some of your anger started deflating despite yourself.

"cold coffee is still a problem," he said, already pulling his backpack off his shoulder, unzipping it with fumbling fingers. "the sugar content means it'll get sticky when it dries, and it can stain, especially on lighter fabrics. i have napkins, i think, or maybe paper towels, i definitely have something." 

he was rummaging through his bag now, pulling out crumpled papers, a graphing calculator, several pens, tangled earbuds, talking the entire time in that same rapid, anxious way. 

"i'm really sorry, i should have been more careful, i knew the power was out, i should have used my phone flashlight, i just thought i knew the layout well enough to navigate in the dark but obviously i was wrong."

you watched him. something uncomfortable shifted in your chest. you'd been prepared to snap at him, to unleash all your accumulated frustration on whoever had been careless enough to run into you. but he wasn't making excuses. wasn't trying to minimise what he'd done or deflect blame or make some joke to lighten the mood. he was just genuinely, almost painfully concerned about the problem he'd created. the way he kept apologising, kept trying to fix things, made it very hard to stay angry.

"here," he said triumphantly, producing a small pack of tissues from the bottom of his bag. he held them out, then seemed to realise how inadequate they were and let out a frustrated sound. "these aren't going to be enough. we should go to the bathroom, get some actual paper towels. or maybe the kitchen area on the second floor, they have those industrial dispensers that are way more absorbent." 

he paused, finally seeming to register that you hadn't moved, that you were just sitting there watching him. his ears went red, visible even in the dim green emergency lighting. "sorry, i'm sorry, i'm doing it again. my sister always tells me i go into problem-solving mode when i'm anxious and it makes people feel like i'm not actually listening to them. are you okay? like, actually okay, not just physically okay?"

the question caught you off guard. nobody had asked you that in days. maybe weeks. everyone just assumed you were fine because you were handling things, meeting deadlines, showing up to class. but this stranger who'd just spilt coffee all over you was looking at you with genuine concern, waiting for a real answer. something in your chest felt suddenly too tight.

"i'm fine," you said, softer than intended. you took the tissues from him, dabbing uselessly at your jeans. he was right. they weren't nearly enough. but the gesture felt important somehow. "it's been a long night."

"assignments?" he asked. when you nodded he made a sympathetic noise. "yeah, same. i've been here since six. had a project deadline at midnight but then the power went out fifteen minutes before and now i don't know if my submission went through because the wifi died with the electricity." he pushed his glasses up his nose. nervous gesture you got the impression he did frequently. 

"i'm jake, by the way. jake sim. i feel like i should probably introduce myself since i just, like, assaulted you with your own beverage."

despite everything, ruined jeans and exhaustion and broken code, you felt the corner of your mouth twitch. not quite a smile, but close. "assaulted me with my own beverage?"

"well, yeah," he said, looking vaguely embarrassed. "i mean, i weaponised your coffee against you. that's technically assault, right? or maybe battery? i always get those mixed up. my roommate's a poli-sci major, he'd know."

 he was rambling now, words spilling out in that same anxious rush, and there was something almost endearing about how completely lacking in artifice it was. he wasn't trying to be charming. wasn't trying to be funny. just genuinely nervous and dealing with it by talking too much.

you told him your name. he repeated it carefully, like he was committing it to memory. "i really am sorry," he said again, quieter this time. "what were you working on? before i interrupted?"

"data structures project," you said. just thinking about it made your shoulders tense again. "it's due tomorrow and there's a bug i can't figure out and i've been staring at it for hours."

his eyes lit up behind his glasses, spark of interest that transformed his whole face. "what kind of bug? runtime error? logic error? is it a pointer issue? those are always the worst, especially with linked lists."

 he was already moving closer to your laptop, stopping himself at the last second like he'd realised he was being presumptuous. "sorry, i mean, i could take a look if you want? i'm pretty good with data structures. it's kind of my thing. i'm a TA for comp 201 actually, so i see a lot of common bugs. but also totally no pressure, i know i just dumped coffee on you so you probably don't want my help."

you should have said no. didn't know this guy, didn't owe him anything. you'd been managing just fine on your own. except you hadn't been managing fine. you'd been on the verge of a breakdown in an empty lab at midnight. now here was this nervous, rambling stranger offering help without expecting anything in return, looking at you like your problem was genuinely important to him.

it was disorienting. how quickly your anger had evaporated, replaced by something you couldn't quite name. you found yourself noticing details you shouldn't care about. the way he kept pushing his glasses up. the way his hands had finally stopped shaking now that he had something concrete to focus on.

"okay," you heard yourself say. his whole face brightened in a way that made something flutter uncomfortably in your stomach. "yeah, if you don't mind looking at it."

"i don't mind at all," he said quickly, already pulling up a chair. he left careful distance between you though, hyper-aware of not invading your space again. "show me what you've got."

you turned your laptop toward him. he leaned in, eyes scanning the lines with immediate focus. his expression shifted into something concentrated, intense. this was probably what he looked like when he wasn't tripping over people in the dark and panicking about it. he started asking questions about your implementation, your logic, what you'd already tried. his voice had lost that nervous edge. this was clearly where he was comfortable. in the clean logic of code, in problems that had solutions.

you answered his questions. watched as he nodded, occasionally pushing his glasses up, finger tracing lines of code on the screen without quite touching it. the emergency lighting cast strange shadows across his face, highlighting his cheekbones, the strong line of his jaw, the way his brow furrowed in concentration.

you were noticing things you shouldn't notice. but you told yourself it wasn't because you found him attractive. you were just paying attention because he was helping. because he'd disrupted your solitary misery and replaced it with something else. something that felt almost like companionship.

"there," he said suddenly, pointing to a line in the middle of your function. "you're incrementing the counter before you check the condition, but you need to check the condition first. it's causing an off-by-one error. see? you're accessing index n when your array only goes up to n minus one."

you stared at the line he was indicating. slowly, horribly, you realised he was right. such a simple mistake, the kind of thing you should have caught hours ago. but you'd been too tired, too frustrated, too deep in your own head to see it. "oh my god," you said quietly. "that's it. that's the whole problem."

"easy fix," jake said, smiling now. a real smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "just move that line down two spaces and add the conditional check first. you want me to...?" he gestured at your keyboard, asking permission. you nodded, watched as he made the adjustment with quick, confident keystrokes. "there. try running it now."

you hit compile, holding your breath. for the first time in two days the program ran without errors. the output printed exactly the way it was supposed to. clean and correct and perfect. relief flooded through you so intensely you felt dizzy with it, all the tension you'd been carrying suddenly releasing at once. "thank you," you said, voice more emotional than intended. "seriously, thank you, i've been losing my mind over this."

"it happens to everyone," jake said gently. "sometimes you just need fresh eyes. i've definitely been there." he leaned back in his chair, that nervous energy returning now that the immediate problem was solved. "your code is really clean, by the way. like, really well-structured. that bug was literally the only issue, everything else is solid."

the compliment settled warm in your chest. you realised with a start that you felt calm. actually calm, for the first time all night. your heart rate had slowed. your hands were steady. the overwhelming pressure behind your eyes had eased.

the lab was still too quiet, the emergency lighting still eerie and insufficient, your jeans still soaked with cold coffee. but somehow none of it felt as unbearable as it had fifteen minutes ago. and that was because of him. because jake had crashed into you in the dark and apologised too much and fixed your code and made you feel less alone in this empty building at midnight.

jake was gathering his things, shoving papers and pens back into his backpack with the same energy he'd had while searching for tissues. "i should probably try to find someone about the power situation," he said. "and you should probably change before that coffee stains permanently. there's a campus store in the student centre that's open twenty-four hours, they have overpriced sweatpants but at least they're dry."

"yeah," you said, surprised to find you didn't want him to leave yet. "yeah, i probably should."

he stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and hesitated. "hey, um. if you ever need help with code stuff again, or if you just want to work in the lab at the same time, i'm here most nights. usually not spilling beverages on people, but, you know. tonight was special." he smiled awkwardly. you found yourself smiling back, a real smile this time.

"i might take you up on that," you said. meant it.

jake's expression brightened again. that same transformation you'd noticed earlier. he nodded. "cool. yeah, that would be cool. okay. i'm gonna go now before i accidentally break something else." he gave you a small wave, started toward the door, then turned back. "your code really is good, by the way. i wasn't just saying that."

then he was gone, disappearing into the dark hallway beyond the lab. you were alone again. but that realisation, that awareness that a stranger's clumsy kindness had affected you so much, sat uncomfortable and warm in your chest as you saved your work and finally, finally, packed up to leave.

you walked into your lecture the next morning running on four hours of sleep and caffeine-induced alertness that felt vaguely hallucinogenic. your jeans from last night were balled up in your laundry basket, probably stained beyond saving, and you'd thrown on the first clean thing you could find. 

you slid into your usual spot next to yunjin, who was already comparing notes with beomgyu across the aisle. they were your people. your safe zone. the ones you'd suffered through intro courses with, pulled all-nighters with, shared desperate pre-exam breakdowns with.

"you look like death," yunjin said cheerfully, not looking up from her phone.

"thanks. love you too."

"late night?" beomgyu leaned over, stealing one of yunjin's chips. "you missed the group chat meltdown about the algorithms homework."

you hummed noncommittally, pulling out your laptop. your code from last night was still open, that perfect, error-free output staring back at you. you'd submitted it at 12:47 am, seventeen minutes after jake had fixed it. seventeen minutes after he'd disappeared down that dark hallway.

you hadn't told yunjin and beomgyu about any of it. the power outage, the coffee, jake. especially jake. it felt somehow private, like explaining it would cheapen it or make it feel less significant than it had been in the moment.

professor kim walked in, and the room settled into that particular brand of restless attention that morning lectures always had. "alright, alright," she said, pulling up a slide that made half the room groan in unison. "i know you're all thrilled to hear this, but it's time to discuss your semester-long project."

chairs scraped against floors as people twisted around to look at their friends. voices overlapped, people already calling out names, forming pairs out of habit and convenience. you felt yunjin's hand on your arm at the same time beomgyu leaned over.

"partners?" yunjin said.

"obviously we're doing a group," beomgyu added. "the three of us, right?"

you nodded, half-listening, your attention already drifting across the lecture hall. you weren't sure what you were looking for until you found it. him. jake was sitting near the back with a small group of guys you vaguely recognised from other cs classes. he was hunched slightly over his notebook, pen moving across the page, taking notes while everyone else was busy forming alliances. his hair was even messier today, sticking up on one side like he'd rolled out of bed. his glasses kept sliding down his nose and he kept pushing them back up with his index finger, that same nervous gesture from last night.

he looked small somehow, despite being tall. like he was trying to take up less space. one of his friends said something and laughed, nudging jake's shoulder, but jake just smiled politely without really engaging. his attention stayed on his notebook.

you watched him for a moment longer than necessary. watched the way his shoulders curved inward, the way he held his pen, the concentrated furrow of his brow. something in your chest did an uncomfortable little flip.

"so we're agreed then?" yunjin was saying. "i'll handle the frontend, beomgyu can do the database stuff, and you can—"

you stood up. the decision happened before you'd fully processed it, your body moving on instinct or impulse or something you didn't want to examine too closely. your chair scraped loud enough that a few people glanced over.

"actually," you said, already stepping past beomgyu into the aisle. "i'm gonna partner with someone else."

"what?" yunjin's voice pitched up in genuine confusion. "who?"

but you were already walking. moving up the steps toward the back of the lecture hall, weaving between people who were still negotiating partnerships and arguing about skill distributions. you were aware of people watching. of yunjin and beomgyu's matching expressions of confusion. of the way conversations paused as you passed.

jake's friends noticed you first. one of them, a guy with bleached hair, nudged jake's arm and nodded in your direction. another one went quiet mid-sentence, eyes tracking your approach with unconcealed curiosity. jake looked up last, following their gazes, and when his eyes met yours he froze. actually froze, pen suspended over his notebook, lips slightly parted like he'd been about to say something and forgotten how.

you stopped at the edge of their row. suddenly hyperaware of how many people were definitely watching this interaction. "hey," you said, aiming for casual and landing somewhere near awkward. "you have a partner yet?"

jake blinked. once, twice. his friends were staring at him now, then at you, then back at him like they were watching a tennis match. "i—what?"

"for the project," you clarified, gesturing vaguely at professor kim who was still explaining requirements at the front of the room. "do you have a partner?"

"i—" jake's hand came up to push his glasses up his nose even though they hadn't moved. his ears were already turning red. "no? i mean, no, i don't, but—" he glanced at his friends, then back at you, looking genuinely lost. "are you—do you mean—"

"i'm asking if you want to partner up," you said, more directly this time. your heart was doing something weird and arrhythmic in your chest. "for the semester project."

the guy with bleached hair made a noise that might have been a strangled laugh. another one of jake's friends just gaped openly. jake himself looked like you'd just spoken to him in a language he only half understood. "you want to—with me?"

"yeah."

"but—" he gestured helplessly toward where yunjin and beomgyu were sitting, both of them now watching with unconcealed shock. "don't you usually work with your friends? i thought—"

"i'm asking you," you said, cutting him off before he could talk himself out of it or before you could overthink what you were doing. "if you already have other plans it's fine, i just thought—" you paused, scrambling for justification that didn't sound insane. "you're good at this stuff. you're a TA. you knew exactly what was wrong with my code last night in like, five seconds. it makes sense. strategically."

strategically. god, you sounded unhinged.

jake stared at you. his friends stared at you. half the lecture hall was probably staring at you at this point. "i—" jake swallowed visibly. "yeah. yes. i mean, if you want to, then—yeah. okay."

"yeah?"

"yeah." he nodded, more firmly this time, though he still looked vaguely shell-shocked. "we can—yeah. that would be—yeah."

his friends exchanged glances that were absolutely loaded with unspoken communication. the bleached hair guy, jungwon you think, was grinning now, looking between you and jake like he'd just witnessed something phenomenal. "well," he said, voice thick with amusement, "this is interesting."

you ignored him. "cool. we should probably meet up sometime this week to go over the requirements?"

"yeah, definitely," jake said quickly, already pulling out his phone with hands that trembled slightly. "i can—do you want my number? or i can get yours, or—we could use email if that's easier—"

"number's fine." you rattled it off, watching him type it into his contacts with endearing focus, tongue poking slightly between his teeth. when he looked up his expression was softer, less panicked. almost shy.

"okay," he said. "i'll text you?"

"sounds good."

you turned to head back down to your seat, acutely aware of the weight of multiple stares following your retreat. yunjin grabbed your arm the second you sat down, eyes wide with questions, but professor kim chose that moment to actually start the lecture and yunjin had to settle for furious whisper-hissing "what the hell was that?" while you studiously ignored her.

you pulled up your laptop, pretending to focus on the slides about project requirements and grading rubrics. but your attention kept drifting. you could feel it, that awareness of jake sitting several rows behind you. you wondered if he was taking notes. if his friends were grilling him. if his ears were still red.

you told yourself this was practical. logical. jake was skilled, focused, clearly knew his stuff. working with him made sense from a grades perspective, from an efficiency perspective. it was a smart choice. strategic, like you'd said.

but the justification felt thin even as you repeated it to yourself. because practical partnerships didn't make your pulse spike like this. strategic choices didn't leave you feeling weirdly breathless, or hyperaware of your phone in your pocket, waiting for a text that might come in an hour or a day. smart decisions didn't come with this flutter of satisfaction sitting warm and dangerous in your chest, the kind that felt unearned and a little reckless.

you'd just chosen jake over your actual friends for a semester-long project. you'd walked across the entire lecture hall in front of everyone to ask him specifically. you'd done it without planning it, without fully understanding why, acting on instinct alone.

your phone buzzed. you grabbed it maybe too quickly, ignoring yunjin's pointed look.

unknown number: hi, it's jake. from the lab? and also from just now. obviously. you know who i am. anyway this is my number. unknown number: we can meet whenever works for you btw. i'm pretty flexible. unknown number: sorry i'm rambling over text now apparently. i'll stop.

despite everything, despite the weirdness of the entire situation, you felt yourself smile. properly smile, which made yunjin lean over and whisper, "oh my god, you're blushing," which you absolutely were not.

you saved his number. typed out a response. deleted it. typed it again.

you: library tomorrow at 6?

his reply came almost instantly.

jake: perfect. i'll see you there.

yeah. perfect. that's exactly what this was.

you'd gotten there ten minutes early, which was ridiculous and you knew it, but you'd told yourself it was just to secure a good table. not because you were nervous. definitely not because you'd changed your shirt three times.

jake showed up at 6:02, slightly out of breath like he'd been rushing, backpack slung over one shoulder and hair even messier than usual. 

"sorry, sorry," he said, sliding into the chair across from you. "my last class ran over and then i couldn't find my charger and—" he stopped himself, ears going pink. "sorry. you don't need the full explanation. i'm here now."

"you're fine," you said, surprised by how much you meant it. "i just got here too."

it was a lie, but whatever.

he pulled out his laptop, a slightly battered thing covered in tech company stickers, and immediately opened what looked like a meticulously organised project folder. 

"so i was thinking we could start by breaking down the requirements," he said, already pulling up the assignment sheet. "if we divide it into modules we can work on different parts simultaneously and then integrate everything at the end. i made a rough outline last night, but obviously we can change whatever you want."

you blinked at him. "you made an outline? already?"

"i—yeah?" he looked uncertain suddenly, like he'd done something wrong. "was that—should i not have? i just thought it would be helpful to have a starting point, but if you wanted to plan it together—"

"no, that's—" you leaned closer to look at his screen, close enough that you could smell whatever soap or shampoo he used. something clean and faintly citrusy. "that's really good actually. you're like, super organised."

"oh." he pushed his glasses up, not quite meeting your eyes. "thanks. i just like having things structured, it makes the actual coding part less chaotic."

you shifted your chair around the table, closing the distance between you under the pretence of seeing his screen better. your knees almost touched under the table. jake didn't seem to notice, already walking you through his outline with the kind of focused enthusiasm that made his whole face more animated. he talked with his hands a little, you realised. small gestures that punctuated his explanations.

it was kind of endearing. he was kind of endearing, in this unpolished, genuine way that made you want to keep watching him talk even though you should probably be paying attention to the actual content of what he was saying.

"—so if we use that framework it'll save us a ton of time on the backend. does that make sense?" he glanced at you, expectant.

"yeah, totally," you said, even though you'd caught maybe half of it. "you're really good at this."

"at what?"

"explaining things. breaking stuff down." you let your voice soften deliberately, the kind of tone you'd use on someone you were interested in. testing. "you must be a really good TA."

jake's expression brightened with genuine pleasure, completely innocent. "oh, thanks! i really like teaching actually. it's really satisfying when something clicks for someone, you know?" he turned back to his laptop. "okay so for the first module, i was thinking we could—"

you felt something deflate slightly in your chest. he'd just. moved on. thanked you politely and redirected straight back to work like you'd commented on the weather.

you tried again twenty minutes later, when he'd finished explaining the database architecture. "seriously, how is your brain even wired like this?" you said, letting your hand rest on the table between you, close enough to his that moving a few inches would mean touching. "like, this would've taken me hours to figure out and you just see it."

"i mean, i've been coding since i was like twelve," jake said, smiling in that self-deprecating way that made your stomach flip. "my dad's a software engineer so i kind of grew up around it. you'd be just as good if you'd had the same exposure." 

he grabbed his water bottle, took a sip, completely oblivious to the way you were looking at him. "anyway, should we start on the initial setup? i can handle the repository if you want to draft the pseudocode for the first function?"

"sure," you said, trying not to sound as frustrated as you felt.

it continued like that. you'd find little ways to compliment him, to touch his arm when he said something funny, to lean into his space. and every single time jake would light up with friendly appreciation and then just. keep going. keep working. keep being nice in this utterly platonic way that was starting to drive you slightly insane.

when you suggested taking a break and offered to buy him coffee, he'd said "oh that's so sweet, but i'm good, i don't want to lose momentum." when you'd asked about his hobbies, trying to find some common ground beyond code, he'd given you a genuine answer about gaming and soccer and then immediately asked about your hobbies with the same earnest interest he gave to literally everything.

he wasn't being cold. wasn't being dismissive. he was just. friendly. sincerely friendly in a way that suggested he thought you were also just being friendly and nothing more. the idea that you might be flirting with him clearly hadn't even crossed his mind.

it shouldn't have bothered you. it was one study session. you barely knew him. but there was something about the way he was so completely unaffected that made you want to push harder, try more obviously, make him see you the way you were apparently seeing him.

which was insane. you were being insane.

"okay i think that's a good stopping point," jake said eventually, glancing at his phone. "we got through way more than i expected, honestly. you're really fast at this."

"we work well together," you said, maybe too much emphasis on the together part.

"yeah," he agreed easily, already packing up his stuff. "this is gonna be way less painful than i thought. usually group projects are a nightmare but i think we're pretty compatible."

compatible. he said it like he was talking about software versions.

you packed up your own stuff, trying to shake off whatever weird frustrated feeling had settled in your chest. this was good. you had a competent partner who was easy to work with. that's what mattered. not whether he noticed when you laughed at his jokes or sat closer than strictly necessary.

the library had gotten dark outside while you'd been working, the early winter darkness that feeking too heavy for eight pm. you pushed through the doors together, the cold air immediately biting at your face.

"which way are you headed?" jake asked, adjusting his backpack.

you pointed toward the east side of campus. "miller hall."

jake stopped walking. just fully stopped and stared at you. "wait, seriously?"

"yeah?"

"i'm in miller," he said, and his face did this thing, this open, delighted thing like you'd just told him something genuinely exciting. "i'm on the fourth floor. what floor are you?"

"third," you said, trying to keep your voice normal even though your brain was already racing ahead. same building. same building. you lived in the same building and you hadn't known. "that's—what are the odds?"

"i know, right?" jake fell into step beside you, and he seemed more relaxed now, less formal than he'd been in the library. "i can't believe we haven't run into each other before. though i guess i'm not around that much, i'm usually either in class or the lab or—" he laughed. "okay i'm making myself sound really boring."

"no you're not," you said, maybe too quickly. "i'm the same way. especially during midterms."

"the worst," he agreed. "hey, at least now if we need to meet up for the project it's super convenient. we can literally just knock on each other's doors."

he said it so casually. so normally, like it was just a nice logistical benefit and nothing more. meanwhile your mind was already cataloguing possibilities. you could time your meals to match his schedule. figure out when he usually left for class. find reasons to be in the common areas when he might pass through. it would look natural, coincidental. just friendly neighbors running into each other.

you were already strategising.

the realisation made something uncomfortable twist in your stomach. this was. this was too much maybe. you were thinking about him too much, cataloguing details about him like you were studying for an exam. getting frustrated when he didn't respond to your flirting even though you had no actual reason to expect him to. you'd had one late-night interaction and now one study session and somehow you were already rearranging your mental map of campus to accommodate his presence in it.

"you good?" jake asked, and you realised you'd gone quiet.

"yeah, just tired."

"same." he smiled at you, easy and warm. "thanks for picking me as your partner, by the way. i know you could've worked with your friends and i'm—i'm really glad you asked me instead. i think this is gonna be fun."

fun. he was looking forward to the project because he thought it would be fun. because he liked coding and teaching and he probably thought you were a cool person to work with. he was just. happy to have company. happy to make a new friend.

meanwhile you were over here planning imaginary coincidental run-ins and getting weirdly possessive over someone who didn't even know you liked him.

god, you were pathetic.

"yeah," you managed. "me too."

you reached miller hall, and jake held the door open for you, still talking about some technique he wanted to try for the project. you half-listened, watching the way his hair flopped over his forehead, the animated way he gestured when he got excited about something.

the elevator ride to your floor felt too short. jake got off with you, said he'd just walk up the extra flight of stairs for the exercise. "text me if you think of anything for the project," he said, already heading toward the stairwell. "or honestly just text me whenever. i'm always on my phone."

then he was gone, and you were standing alone in the hallway outside your door, feeling weirdly deflated and wired at the same time.

your phone buzzed before you'd even gotten your key out.

jake: forgot to say this but your idea for the UI was really smart. i think it's gonna make the whole thing way more intuitive. jake: ok NOW i'm done bothering you. have a good night!

you stared at the messages, that dangerous warm feeling spreading through your chest again. he'd texted you immediately to compliment your idea. with absolutely no prompting.

you were smiling at your phone like an idiot.

yeah. you were definitely pathetic.

"i'm just saying, he's clearly not interested," yunjin said, stabbing her salad with more force than necessary. "like, you've tried everything."

you were sitting in the dining hall, picking at your food while yunjin and beomgyu conducted what was essentially an intervention about your jake situation. an intervention you hadn't asked for and definitely didn't want.

"maybe he's just shy," you said, defensive.

beomgyu snorted. "shy guys still notice when someone's flirting with them. they just get weird about it. this guy sounds like he genuinely has no idea."

"which means he's not into you," yunjin added, gentler now. "and that's fine, you know? you can just be project partners. you don't have to keep torturing yourself."

except the thing was, you weren't entirely convinced jake wasn't interested. or maybe you just didn't want to accept it yet. because he texted you unprompted sometimes, sent you memes he thought you'd find funny, always smiled when he saw you in the hallway. that had to mean something, right?

"i'm not torturing myself," you muttered.

"you've mentioned him like fifteen times in the past hour," beomgyu pointed out.

"have not."

"you literally just told us about how he holds his pen. his pen."

okay. maybe you were torturing yourself a little.

you left the dining hall feeling irritated and restless, your friends' words circling in your head. he's not interested. he has no idea. you're torturing yourself. maybe they were right. probably they were right. you should just focus on the project, get a good grade, and move on like a normal person.

you were cutting through the student centre, not really paying attention to where you were going, when you passed the community bulletin board. the usual chaos of flyers and posters, study abroad programs, club meetings, someone selling a barely-used microwave. your eyes skimmed over it automatically, not really looking.

then you saw his name.

TUTORING AVAILABLE - COMP 101, 201, 301

patient, experienced, flexible schedule

contact: jake sim

there was a row of little tear-off tabs at the bottom with his phone number. several were already missing. the flyer itself was simple, almost plain. you stared at it. people flowed around you, conversations and footsteps and the ambient noise of the student centre, but you just stood there staring at jake's handwritten flyer.

you didn't need tutoring. your grades were fine. good, even. you and jake were in the same advanced class, for god's sake. he'd probably seen your test scores when he was TAing. this would be…obvious. wouldn't it? taking a tab would be transparent and desperate and—

your hand moved before you'd fully decided. the paper tore with a soft sound that felt too loud. you stared at the little strip in your palm, jake's number printed in his neat handwriting even though you already had it saved in your phone.

what were you doing?

you shoved the tab in your pocket and walked away quickly, like someone might have witnessed you doing something incriminating. your heart was beating too fast. this was insane. this was transparent. he was going to see right through it.

but.

but it was also legitimate, wasn't it? people got tutoring all the time, even when their grades were fine. wanting to understand the material better, wanting a different perspective, wanting to be extra prepared. those were all valid reasons. normal reasons. and yeah, maybe you had ulterior motives, but the cover story was solid enough that you could maintain plausible deniability. to him. to yourself.

you made it back to your dorm before you pulled out your phone.

you: hey! i saw your tutoring flyer in the student centre. do you still have availability?

you hit send before you could overthink it. then immediately started overthinking it anyway. he was going to ask why. he was going to point out that you clearly didn't need help. he was going to—

your phone buzzed.

jake<3: oh hey! yeah i have some slots open. but wait, aren't you doing pretty well in class? i've seen your test scores when i'm grading and you're like, consistently in the top range jake<3: not that you CAN'T get tutoring obviously! everyone can benefit from extra help jake<3: i just want to make sure you actually need it and aren't just being nice or something

god, he was even considerate about this. checking in to make sure you weren't wasting your time or money on something you didn't need. being thoughtful and genuine while you were over here manipulating the situation to manufacture more time with him.

you felt a twinge of something uncomfortable. guilt maybe. but you pushed it down.

you: i mean yeah my grades are okay, but i feel like i'm just memorising patterns without really UNDERSTANDING the concepts you know? like i can solve the problems but i couldn't explain WHY you: i just want to make sure i actually get it. especially since the material keeps building on itself

it wasn't entirely a lie. you did sometimes feel like you were pattern-matching your way through assignments. and deeper understanding was always good. these were reasonable concerns. the fact that they weren't your primary motivation didn't make them untrue.

jake<3: oh yeah that makes total sense actually. i see that a lot with students. they can execute but the underlying logic isn't solid jake<3: okay yeah we can definitely work on that! my rate is $20/hour but honestly for you i'd be happy to just do it for free? since we're already working together on the project anyway

you: no way i'm paying you. you're already helping me so much with the project

jake<3: the project is a two person thing, you're helping me just as much jake<3: but okay we can argue about payment later. when works for you?

you felt that warm, dangerous flutter again. he'd offered to tutor you for free. just casually, like it was no big deal. like spending extra time with you was something he actively wanted to do, even without compensation.

you: i'm pretty flexible. whenever you have time

jake<3: thursdays at 7? we could do the library again or somewhere on our floor if you want somewhere quieter jake<3: also i promise i'll actually TEACH and not just fix your code for you like last time lol

you smiled at your phone. somewhere on your floor. which meant his room or yours. which meant private, just the two of you, no other students around.

you: thursdays work for me! 

jake<3: cool! we can switch off. i'll bring snacks jake<3: this'll be fun :)

he'd sent a smiley face. an actual emoticon. it shouldn't have made your heart skip but it did.

you locked your phone and sat on your bed, that satisfaction settling warm in your chest. you'd done it. you'd created a legitimate, recurring excuse to see jake outside of project work. an hour a week, minimum, where you'd have his complete attention. where you could sit close to him in the privacy of a dorm room, help him help you, let those boundaries get just a little bit blurrier.

it was harmless. he was offering tutoring anyway, you were just taking him up on it. and yeah, maybe your motivations weren't entirely pure, but you weren't lying to him. not really. you did want to understand the material better. the fact that you also wanted to be around him more was just. additional context. secondary reasoning.

you were being smart about this, honestly. creating opportunities without being pushy. letting things develop naturally within structures that already existed.

you ignored the small, quiet voice in the back of your mind that whispered this was too much. that you were engineering situations and manufacturing proximity and maybe that wasn't as harmless as you wanted to believe. that jake was offering to help you in good faith while you had an agenda he knew nothing about.

you were good at ignoring that voice.

your phone buzzed again.

jake<3: btw i've been thinking about the database structure and i had an idea

and just like that you were smiling again, typing back, that uncomfortable feeling dissolving into something easier and warmer and more immediately gratifying.

it was fine. everything was fine. this was just tutoring. just spending time with someone you enjoyed being around. there was nothing wrong with that.

nothing wrong with it at all.

you'd been doing the tutoring sessions for three weeks when your roommate officially moved out. well, not officially officially. her stuff was still there, her side of the room still technically occupied. but she'd been spending every night at her boyfriend's off-campus apartment for the past month, and one day she just stopped pretending she was coming back.

"i'm still paying rent," she'd said, shoving clothes into a duffel bag. "so like, it's still my room. i'll probably crash here sometimes. but you basically have the place to yourself."

you'd nodded sympathetically while internally celebrating. your own space. privacy. no need to coordinate schedules or deal with her boyfriend's annoying habits. it was perfect.

it took you less than a day to realise it was perfect for other reasons too.

the next tutoring session was supposed to be in the library. thursday at seven, like always. but you'd been sitting in your empty apartment that afternoon, looking at your space with new eyes, and the idea had planted itself so naturally you'd almost convinced yourself it was practical.

you: hey, would you maybe want to do tutoring at my place tonight instead? my roommate moved in with her boyfriend so it's way quieter than the library you: totally fine if you prefer the library though!

the response took longer than usual. long enough that you started second-guessing yourself. maybe this was too much. too obvious. crossing some line from study partner into something else.

jake<3: oh jake<3: um jake<3: yeah that's fine. if you're sure? jake<3: i don't want to like. intrude or anything jake<3: but yeah quieter is definitely better for focusing

you: you're not intruding i literally invited you haha you: i'm in 3B. just come by at 7

jake<3: okay! see you then

you spent the next two hours in a cleaning frenzy you absolutely did not want to examine too closely. you weren't trying to impress him. you just wanted the place to look nice and presentable. the fact that you changed your clothes twice and lit a candle that made the whole apartment smell like vanilla and sandalwood was just. coincidence.

the knock came at exactly seven. jake was annoyingly punctual.

you opened the door to find him standing in the hallway looking uncertain, backpack slung over one shoulder, holding a bag of chips. "hi," he said. "i brought snacks. i didn't know what you liked so i just got the variety pack."

"you didn't have to do that."

"i know, but—" he shifted his weight. "i don't know, it felt weird showing up empty-handed."

you stepped back to let him in, watching as he moved into your space with obvious hesitation. he didn't walk in so much as carefully entered, like he was worried about disturbing something. his eyes went immediately to your walls, taking in the art prints you'd hung, the string lights, the bookshelf crammed with novels and textbooks. then to your desk setup, the small kitchen area, the couch that your roommate had left behind.

"wow," he said quietly. "this is. really nice."

"it's just a dorm apartment."

"no, i know, but—" he gestured vaguely at everything. "it's decorated. like, actually decorated. my place looks like a prison cell compared to this." he was still standing near the door, like he hadn't fully committed to being here. "is that an original print?"

you glanced at the framed artwork he was pointing at. "yeah. local artist. i got it at a campus market thing."

"it's really cool." he finally took a few more steps inside, setting his backpack down carefully on the floor like he was afraid it might scuff something. his attention caught on your kitchen counter, where you'd left out the fancy coffee you'd bought yesterday. the expensive cheese and crackers. the fruit you'd pre-cut and arranged in a bowl because apparently you were that person now.

jake went quiet for a second. then he laughed, but it sounded a little uncomfortable. "okay i have to ask. are you like, rich?"

you felt your face heat. "what? no."

"because this—" he gestured at your apartment again, at the candle burning on your coffee table, the throw blanket artfully draped over your couch, the general aesthetic coherence of the space. "this seems like. i don't know. very put together for a college student."

"i just like my space to feel nice," you said, defensive. "there's nothing wrong with that."

"no, definitely not! i didn't mean—" he ran a hand through his hair, flustered. "i just meant. my room has like, a bed and a desk and some clothes on the floor. this looks like an apartment from a magazine. in a good way," he added quickly. "it's impressive. i'm just. you know. mildly intimidated."

"don't be intimidated," you said, softer now. trying for casual. "seriously, make yourself comfortable. do you want something to drink? i have coffee, tea, juice, those fancy sparkling waters—"

"you have fancy sparkling water?"

"they were on sale."

they were absolutely not on sale. you'd bought them specifically because you remembered jake mentioning he liked trying different flavours. but he didn't need to know that.

"um, sure. i'll try one." he was still standing awkwardly in the middle of your living room, like he couldn't figure out where he was allowed to exist.

you grabbed two cans from the fridge, handing him one and gesturing toward the couch. "we can work there if you want. or the desk. whatever's comfortable."

"couch is good," he said, finally sitting down and immediately looking slightly less tense. he opened the sparkling water, took a sip, and made a surprised noise. "oh this is actually really good."

"told you." you sat next to him, closer than you would have in the library. not touching, but close enough that you could feel the warmth of him next to you. close enough that when he leaned forward to pull his laptop out of his backpack, you caught that familiar scent of soap and citrus.

he pulled up the lesson he'd prepared, something about optimisation algorithms, and fell into his teaching rhythm. you'd noticed this about jake before. when he was explaining code, he became more confident. less apologetic. his hands moved as he talked, tracing invisible diagrams in the air, and his whole face became more animated.

you were trying to focus. really, you were. but you kept getting distracted by the fact that he was here, in your space, sitting on your couch. his knee bumped yours at one point and he apologised even though it was barely contact. you told him it was fine. his handwriting was neat when he sketched out examples in your notebook. he had a small scar on his left hand you'd never noticed before.

"are you following?" he asked, glancing over at you.

"yeah," you said, snapping back to attention. "sorry. just thinking."

"it's kind of a dense topic," he said, apologetic again. "we can take a break if you need."

"no, keep going. you're good at this."

something in his expression softened. "thanks. i—i actually really like doing this. the tutoring, i mean. it's nice having someone to talk through concepts with who actually cares about understanding them properly." he paused, looking around your apartment again like he was seeing it with fresh eyes. "and this is. yeah. this is better than the library for sure."

"yeah?"

"the library's always so loud, even in the quiet sections. and people keep interrupting to ask if they can take chairs from our table." he settled back into your couch slightly, his shoulders loosening. "this is way better. i can actually think here."

you felt that dangerous satisfaction bloom in your chest. this is better. i can actually think here. he was comfortable. in your space. comfortable enough to relax, to take up room, to exist without that careful hesitation he'd had when he first arrived.

"we should do all our sessions here," you said, trying to sound casual. "if you're cool with it."

jake glanced at you, then around the apartment again. for a second you thought he might question it. might recognise this for what it was. but then he just smiled, easy and genuine. "yeah, i'd like that. this is really nice."

"cool," you said. your heart was doing that annoying fluttery thing again.

you went back to the lesson, jake's voice steady and patient as he walked you through increasingly complex problems. his knee stayed pressed against yours. he'd stopped apologising for taking up space. he reached for the fancy crackers you'd set out without asking if it was okay first, just casual and comfortable like he belonged here.

and god help you, you liked seeing him like this. liked having him in your space, surrounded by your things, relaxed and focused and entirely unaware of how much thought you'd put into creating this exact scenario.

he was more comfortable here than he should be. settling into your life with an ease that should have alarmed you but instead just made you want to pull him deeper.

you were playing a game he didn't know existed. creating intimacy in careful increments. manufacturing closeness that felt organic to him but was entirely designed by you.

"okay your turn," jake said, pushing your laptop toward you. "try implementing that function we just talked through."

you pulled the computer into your lap, fingers moving over the keys, hyper-aware of jake watching. of his presence next to you, patient and encouraging. of how easy it would be to let this become routine. thursday nights on your couch, just the two of you, the rest of the world locked outside.

professor kim handed back midterms on a wednesday, and the energy in the lecture hall was exactly what you'd expect. nervous shuffling, people immediately comparing scores, that girl in the front row who always cried regardless of her grade already tearing up.

you flipped your exam over and saw the 100 staring back at you. perfect score. you felt a flush of satisfaction that had nothing to do with the grade itself and everything to do with the fact that jake would see it.

"holy shit," yunjin whispered, leaning over to look. "you got a perfect score?"

"apparently."

"that's insane. i got an 87 and i thought i did well." she shook her head, impressed and maybe slightly annoyed. "what did jake think? he must be so proud, that's basically a direct result of his tutoring."

speaking of jake, he was two rows behind you, and you could hear his friends' voices carrying.

"dude, you got a 98," one of them said. "that's insane."

"i missed this one question," jake said, and he sounded genuinely disappointed. "i can't believe i mixed up the time complexity."

you turned around without really thinking about it, catching his eye. he was already looking at you, and his face did this thing, this hopeful uncertain thing. "how'd you do?"

you held up your exam. his eyes widened.

"you got a hundred?" he said it loud enough that a few people glanced over. then he was standing up, moving past his friends, coming down to your row with his exam still in his hand. "holy shit, that's—that's amazing. you—" he stopped himself, looking almost embarrassed by his own enthusiasm. "sorry, i'm like. weirdly excited about this."

"don't apologise," you said, smiling despite yourself. "you sound more excited than i am."

"because i—" he gestured at your exam, then at you. "you understood it. like really understood it. i could tell during our sessions that things were clicking but seeing it actually translate to a perfect score is just—" he ran his hand through his hair, grinning in a way that made your stomach flip. "i'm really proud of you."

the words hit you weird. i'm proud of you. said with such genuine warmth, such unironic sincerity. like your success was somehow his success too. like he was personally invested in your performance because he'd helped you get there.

except you hadn't really needed the help. you'd manufactured the entire situation. you'd been doing fine before the tutoring started and you'd probably have gotten a perfect score regardless. jake's proud smile was based on a false premise. he thought he'd helped you achieve something when really you'd just. used him. used his time and his patience and his genuine desire to help people, all so you could sit close to him once a week.

something uncomfortable twisted in your chest. you shoved it down.

"i couldn't have done it without you," you said, because that's what you were supposed to say. what he expected to hear. even if it made you feel slightly sick.

"i know, i know. it's a good grade. i just hate making careless mistakes." he smiled at you again, softer this time. "but seriously, i'm really happy for you. you worked really hard for this."

"we should celebrate," you said, before you could second-guess it. "both of us. good scores, successful tutoring, whatever. come over tonight? i'll make dinner, we can watch a movie. my treat, as a thank you."

jake hesitated, just for a second. "you don't have to thank me."

"i want to," you said firmly with a smile. "you've been helping me for weeks and not accepting any payment. the least i can do is feed you."

"when you put it that way." he was smiling again, that easy smile that made your heart do stupid things. "yeah, okay. what time?"

"seven?"

"perfect."

...

you went slightly overboard with dinner. not crazy overboard, just. more effort than was strictly necessary for a casual thank-you meal. homemade pasta, the good parmesan, a salad that actually had more than three ingredients. you'd also bought wine, which felt very adult and sophisticated until you remembered you were literally just having your study partner over.

jake showed up at seven on the dot, holding a bag of cookies from the expensive bakery near campus. "i know you said your treat, but i can't show up empty-handed," he explained, handing them over. "it's like, physically impossible for me."

"you're ridiculous."

"i've been told." he stepped inside, immediately more comfortable than he'd been that first time. he knew where to put his shoes now, where to set his bag. he went straight for the couch like he belonged there.

dinner was easy. conversation flowed naturally, jumping from classes to campus gossip to a debate about whether the dining hall pizza was underrated or genuinely terrible. jake argued passionately for underrated, gesturing with his fork, getting sauce on his chin that he didn't notice until you pointed it out. he laughed, embarrassed, wiping it away.

"wine?" you offered, after you'd cleared the plates.

"oh, um. sure?" he looked uncertain. "i'm not really a big drinker."

"me neither. but we're celebrating, right?"

"right." he accepted the glass you poured, taking a small sip and making a face. "god, why do people like this? it tastes like someone made juice go bad on purpose."

you laughed despite yourself. "it's an acquired taste."

"that's what people say about things that are objectively bad." but he took another sip anyway, settling back into the couch as you pulled up netflix.

you ended up on some action movie neither of you had seen, the kind with improbable stunts and a plot that didn't require much attention. which was good, because you weren't really watching it. you were too aware of jake next to you, closer than he needed to be, his shoulder occasionally brushing yours. he'd finished his wine faster than you expected and seemed looser now, more animated. he kept making commentary on the movie, pointing out plot holes and questionable physics, his hands moving as he talked.

"—and there's no way that building would still be structurally sound after that explosion," he was saying, gesturing at the screen. "like, basic engineering, you know?"

"you're thinking too hard about it."

"i can't help it. my brain won't turn off." he glanced at you, something warm in his expression. "this is nice though. just hanging out. we're always studying or talking about the project, it's cool to just…exist. without an agenda."

without an agenda. the words hit harder than they should have. because you did have an agenda. you'd had one this entire time. this whole evening was carefully constructed, from the homemade dinner to the wine to the deliberately casual intimacy of it all.

"yeah," you managed. "it's nice."

the movie continued. jake shifted closer, his thigh pressing against yours. you didn't move away. his arm ended up along the back of the couch, not quite around your shoulders but close enough that you could feel the warmth of it. neither of you acknowledged it, but neither of you adjusted either.

"can i ask you something?" jake said during a particularly slow part of the movie.

"sure."

"why did you pick me? for the project, i mean." he was looking at you now instead of the screen, his expression curious and open. "you could've worked with your friends. people you already knew. but you walked all the way across the lecture hall to ask me."

your heart kicked up. "i told you. you're good at this stuff."

"yeah, but." he paused, like he was trying to figure out how to phrase something. "it felt like. i don't know. like you went out of your way. and i've been trying to figure out if i'm reading too much into it or if there was something else."

the air felt suddenly thinner. "something else like what?"

"i don't know." he laughed, self-conscious. "i'm probably being weird. forget i said anything."

"jake."

"i just—" he met your eyes, and there was something vulnerable in his expression that made your breath catch. "i really like spending time with you. like, more than i probably should for someone who's just a project partner and tutoring student. and sometimes i think maybe you. i don't know, feel the same? but i'm also really bad at reading these things so i'm probably completely wrong."

oh. oh.

"you're not wrong," you said quietly.

his eyes widened slightly. "i'm not?"

instead of answering, you leaned in. gave him enough time to pull back, to stop this, but he didn't. he met you halfway, his lips soft and uncertain against yours. for a second neither of you moved, the kiss chaste and almost careful. then something shifted. his hand came up to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheekbone, and you pressed closer, your fingers curling into his shirt.

jake made a soft sound against your mouth, surprise or maybe pleasure, and kissed you back with more confidence. his other hand found your waist, tentative at first then firmer, pulling you closer. you ended up in his lap somehow, his hands spanning your back, your fingers threading through his hair. he tasted like wine and something sweet from the cookies he'd brought.

"is this okay?" he whispered against your lips, breathing hard.

"yes," you said, and kissed him again before he could second-guess it.

his hands moved under your shirt, warm against your skin, and you felt him shiver when you rolled your hips experimentally. "god," he breathed, sounding almost pained. "we should—are we really—"

"do you want to stop?"

"no. god, no. i just—" he looked up at you, pupils blown, lips kiss-swollen. "i didn't think this would happen. i'm not. i don't usually."

"it's okay," you said softly, meaning it. "we don't have to do anything you don't want."

jake didn’t stop you. instead, he seemed to melt into the contact, his hands trembling as they slid further up your back, skin hot through the thin fabric of your shirt. when you moved to guide him off the couch and onto the rug, he followed with a sort of dazed compliance, his glasses slightly askew on his face.

you knelt between his legs, and the shift in atmosphere was immediate. the movie was still playing—some distant sound of tires screeching—but all you could hear was the ragged, uneven hitch of jake’s breath. when you reached for the button of his jeans, his hand flew to your wrist, not to stop you, but just to steady himself. his knuckles were white.

"are you sure?" he whispered, his voice cracking. "i—i'm not... i don't want to mess this up. our project, the tutoring... i don't want to make things weird for you."

"jake," you said, looking up at him through your lashes. "shut up and let me."

he let out a shaky, half-strangled laugh, his head hitting the base of the couch as he let go of your wrist. "okay. okay, yeah. shutting up."

as you eased his jeans down, you realised the lanky, awkward way he carried himself in the halls was a massive deception. he was built with a surprising, heavy sturdiness that the oversized hoodies always hid. his legs were long, his thighs thick with the kind of muscle that suggested he actually did play soccer as more than just a hobby. and when you finally freed him, you couldn't help the small, sharp intake of breath that escaped you.

"jake," you breathed, your eyes widening. "holy..."

he groaned, the sound vibrating deep in his chest, and covered his eyes with his forearm. "don't. don't look at me like that. i know. i'm sorry, is it... is it too much? i can—"

"it's perfect," you cut him off, reaching out to touch him. his skin was searing, and the moment your fingers closed around him, his entire body jolted like he’d been hit with a live wire.

when you leaned forward to take him into your mouth, jake’s reaction was explosive. he arched off the floor, his fingers tangling desperately in your hair, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. he was so sensitive, so completely overwhelmed by the sensation that it felt like he was losing his grip on reality.

"oh god," he choked out, his voice high and strained. "wait, wait—that's—you’re so... the pressure, i can't—"

you didn't slow down. you liked the way he lost his composure, the way the articulate, logical TA was reduced to incoherent stutters. you used your hands to keep him steady, your tongue swirling around the head of him, and jake’s hips began to move in a frantic, uncoordinated rhythm. he was trying to keep some semblance of control, trying to stay "polite," but the sheer intensity of it was breaking him.

"i'm gonna... i'm actually gonna..." he gasped, his hands tightening in your hair, pulling you closer until he was practically burying himself in you. "please, don't stop. don't stop, just like that—right there—"

he hit his limit with a loud, guttural shout that was muffled only by the back of his hand as he bit down on his own knuckles to stay quiet. his body went rigid, muscles in his arms and chest standing out in sharp relief as he came, the force of it leaving him limp and shuddering against the couch.

it took him a long time to come back down. for several minutes, the only sound in the room was his heavy, labouring breath and the flickering light of the tv. you pulled back, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, feeling a fierce, glowing sense of triumph. he looked completely wrecked—hair a disaster, glasses hanging off one ear, chest heaving.

you felt powerful. you’d spent weeks engineering this, calculating every move, and seeing him like this—totally undone by you—was better than any perfect exam score.

"you okay?" you asked, leaning your chin on his knee.

jake let out a long, shaky exhale, finally moving his arm to look at you. his eyes were hazy, his face flushed a deep, beautiful red. "i... think my brain just short-circuited," he whispered, a small, dazed smile tugging at his lips. 

"in a good way?"

"in the best way." he reached out, his fingers trembling as he tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. "thank you. seriously. i don't—i don't even know what to say."

you smiled, leaning into his touch. the apartment was warm, the air still smelling of vanilla. "you don't have to say anything. you should just stay."

the words were soft, natural. it felt like the obvious next step. but the second they left your mouth, you felt the shift.

it was subtle at first—the way jake’s fingers went still against your skin. then his pupils, which had been blown wide with pleasure, suddenly constricted. he blinked, the haziness clearing as his internal "problem-solving mode" kicked back in with a vengeance.

"stay?" he repeated, his voice sounding suddenly small.

"yeah. it's late, and it's cold out. just stay over. we can... i don't know, wake up and have coffee. maybe look at the project again."

jake’s eyes darted toward his hands, then to his backpack, then to the door. the relaxation in his shoulders vanished, replaced by a rigid, frantic tension. he looked like he’d just realised he was standing in the middle of a minefield.

"i—" he started, scrambling to pull his jeans up. he was moving so fast he almost tripped over his own feet. "i can't. i mean, i should... i have that grading to finish. for kim. and i—i didn't bring my toothbrush. or my meds. and my roommate, he—he'll wonder where i am. he gets worried."

"jake, it’s fine, you can borrow—"

"no!" he said, a bit too loudly. he was fumbling with his belt, his fingers shaking so badly he could barely loop it through. he wouldn't look at you. his face wasn't flushed with pleasure anymore; it was pale, his expression twisted into something that looked dangerously like panic. "no, i really should go. i’m sorry. i just... i realised the time. i have to go."

you stood up, feeling a cold, hollow pit open in your stomach. "did i do something wrong? was it... was it too much?"

"no! no, it was... it was amazing," he said, finally getting his shoes on, not even bothering to tie the laces. he grabbed his backpack, clutching it to his chest like a shield. "it was too amazing. that's the... that's the problem. i'm—i'm not good at this. i think i need to... i need to think. logically. about the implications."

"the implications?" you asked, your voice rising with a sharp, hurt edge. "it was just a night, jake. it doesn't have to be a 'logical problem' to solve."

"i know, i know. i'm sorry. i’m just... i'm a mess." he backed toward the door, his hand fumbling for the handle behind his back. "i'll text you? about the project? we still have that deadline on tuesday."

"jake—"

"goodnight! thank you for dinner. the pasta was really... the texture was perfect. okay. bye."

he practically fell out of the door, the sound of his hurried footsteps echoing down the hallway as he sprinted toward the stairs.

the click of the door closing felt final. you stood in the centre of your perfectly decorated, candle-lit apartment, surrounded by the remnants of the dinner you’d spent hours on. the half-empty wine glasses, the bag of expensive cookies, the rumpled rug.

you felt a hot, stinging prickle behind your eyes. you’d done everything right. you’d been strategic, patient, and kind. you’d gotten him to open up, to trust you, to want you. and yet, watching him run away like you were a bug in his code—something to be deleted or fixed—hurt more than any midterm failure ever could.

you sat back down on the couch, the silence of the room suddenly feeling just as oppressive as it had back in the computer lab. you picked up your phone, looking at his last text. this'll be fun :)

you threw the phone onto the cushions and buried your face in your hands, the smell of his citrus shampoo still clinging to your skin, mocking you.

jake didn't text.

you stared at your phone for the entire next day, watching the screen like you could will a message into existence. the "i'll text you" he'd thrown over his shoulder before fleeing felt increasingly like a polite lie. by saturday afternoon you broke first.

you: hey, you okay?

the message sat there. delivered, but no response.

you tried again sunday morning, going for casual.

you: still on for project work this week?

still no response.

by monday you'd moved past confusion into something that felt uncomfortably like panic. this wasn't how things worked. people didn't just. stop responding to you. they didn't ignore you or avoid you or remove you from their orbit like you were some problem to be managed. you were used to being wanted, pursued, the one who had to let people down gently. this reversed dynamic was unfamiliar and honestly humiliating.

you saw him in the dining hall on tuesday. he was with his friends, laughing at something one of them said, looking completely normal. like nothing had happened. like he hadn't been on your couch four days ago falling apart under your touch.

you started walking toward their table before you could think better of it, but jake's eyes flicked up, met yours for a fraction of a second, and then he was standing, gathering his tray, saying something to his friends. they all got up and left. just. left. walked out the side exit while you stood there holding your lunch like an idiot.

yunjin grabbed your arm. "okay, what the hell was that?"

"nothing," you said, but your voice came out wrong. 

"that was not nothing. did something happen with you and jake?"

"no. i don't know. it's complicated."

it wasn't complicated. it was actually pretty simple. you'd pushed too hard and now he wanted nothing to do with you.

wednesday he wasn't in his usual spot in lecture. you spent the entire class scanning the room, finally spotting him in the very back corner, a place he'd never sat before. he kept his eyes on his laptop the entire time, didn't look up once. when class ended he was the first one out the door.

thursday was supposed to be tutoring. seven pm, his room or yours, the standing appointment you'd had for weeks now. you waited in your apartment, laptop open to the half-finished project, telling yourself he'd show up. he was responsible and dedicated. he wouldn't just bail without saying anything.

seven came and went. then seven-thirty. by eight you accepted he wasn't coming.

you: are we still working together on the project? i need to know so i can plan accordingly.

again, no response.

friday morning you were walking to class when you saw him ahead of you on the path. for once he hadn't spotted you first. you sped up, closing the distance, and watched in real time as he seemed to sense your presence. his shoulders tensed. then he took a sharp left turn down a path that definitely wasn't toward any of his classes. he was actively avoiding you. taking different routes. altering his entire routine just to not run into you.

something hot and humiliated burned in your chest.

by next week, you'd had enough. you knew his schedule. knew he had algorithms right before lunch on mondays, in the engineering building, third floor. you positioned yourself outside the classroom before class ended, ignoring the curious looks from other students filing out. you spotted jake immediately when the doors opened. he saw you at the same moment and actually stopped walking, causing someone behind him to bump into his back.

"we need to talk," you said.

"i have—i need to get to—"

"jake." your voice came out sharper than intended. "five minutes. please."

something in his expression shifted. resignation maybe. he nodded once, following you to an empty study room down the hall. you closed the door. the small space suddenly felt suffocating.

"you've been ignoring me," you said.

"i know."

"for a week. you didn't text, you didn't show up to tutoring, you're literally avoiding me on campus."

"i know," he said again, quieter. he wasn't looking at you, his eyes fixed somewhere around your shoulder. "i'm sorry. that wasn't— i should have communicated better."

"so communicate now. what's going on?"

jake was quiet for a long moment. when he finally spoke, his voice was careful. measured. "what happened last week. that crossed a line for me."

"we both wanted it."

"did we?" he looked at you now, and there was something in his expression that made your stomach drop. "because i've been thinking about it a lot. about how we got there. and i feel like. i don't know. like maybe i missed something."

"what do you mean?"

"the tutoring," he said. "you didn't actually need it, did you? your grades were already good. and the project. you had friends you could have worked with. people you actually knew. but you picked me." he paused. "why did you pick me?"

the question hung in the air between you. you could lie. deflect. but something about the way he was looking at you, patient and a little sad, made it feel pointless.

"i liked you," you said finally. "i wanted to spend time with you."

"okay." he nodded slowly. "so the tutoring was. what. an excuse? a way to manufacture time together?"

"it wasn't like that."

"wasn't it though?" there was no anger in his voice. just. tiredness. "because from my perspective, i thought i was helping someone who needed help. i thought we were becoming friends. and then suddenly we're… doing that. and i'm trying to figure out when the shift happened and i can't. because maybe there was no shift. maybe that's what you wanted the whole time and i just didn't see it."

"i did want to be your friend," you said, defensive now. "i wasn't. it's not like i was using you."

"weren't you?"

the words hit harder than they should have. because he wasn't wrong. you had used him. used his kindness, his eagerness to help, his complete inability to see through your motivations. you'd engineered situations and manufactured proximity and told yourself it was harmless.

"i like you," jake said, and somehow that made it worse. "i really do. but i feel. god, i don't even know how to explain it. exposed? like you saw something in me that made me an easy target and you just. went for it. and i didn't even realise what was happening until it had already happened."

"that's not—"

"and the thing is," he continued, talking over you gently, "you're so far out of my league. like, objectively. you're smart and pretty and confident and you have your shit together. and i'm just. me. i'm awkward and i ramble and i spend friday nights debugging code for fun. so the fact that you were interested never made sense. i kept waiting for it to click, for me to understand why, and now i think i do. it wasn't about me. it was about. i don't know. the chase? the conquest? i was a project to you."

"no," you said, but your voice came out weak. "jake, that's not true. you weren't a project."

"then what was i?"

you didn't have an answer. or you did, but it was complicated and messy and saying it out loud would mean admitting things you didn't want to admit.

jake sighed. "i'm not trying to be cruel. i'm really not. but being around you right now makes me feel uncomfortable. like i can't trust my own judgement because i didn't see any of this coming. and that's. that's my issue to work through. but i need space to do it."

"what about the class project?"

"we can do it over email. divide up the work, combine it at the end. we don't have to see each other."

"and tutoring?"

"i think we should stop. you don't actually need it anyway."

each sentence felt like a door closing. practical, reasonable, and completely final.

"i'm sorry," you said, and meant it. "i didn't mean to. i wasn't trying to hurt you."

"i know," jake said, and he sounded sincere. "i don't think you set out to do anything malicious. i just think you didn't really consider how it would feel from my side. and now we're here."

"so that's it? we just stop talking?"

"for now, yeah. maybe later we can be normal around each other. but right now i need. distance."

he moved toward the door, his hand on the handle. you wanted to say something, anything that would fix this. some argument that would make him see you differently. but looking at his face, at the quiet certainty there, you knew there was nothing you could say. he'd made up his mind. he'd set a boundary. and you had no choice but to respect it.

"i really am sorry," you said again.

"i know," jake said. "me too."

then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him with that same horrible finality. you stood there in the empty study room, staring at the space where he'd been.

you couldn't even argue with his reasoning. everything he'd said was true. you had manufactured situations. you had used his kindness and his obliviousness to get what you wanted. you'd told yourself it was harmless, that your feelings were real even if your methods were questionable.

but intent didn't matter when the impact was someone feeling manipulated and exposed.

you left the study room feeling hollowed out. the campus looked the same. people laughed and talked and went about their days. somewhere out there jake was probably headed to lunch with his friends, relieved to have finally said what he needed to say.

and you were just. alone. with the sharp realisation that you'd ruined something before it even had a chance to be real.

the party was exactly the kind of loud, chaotic mess you needed. bass thrumming through the floors, bodies packed into every available space, the air thick with sweat and cheap alcohol and too many competing perfumes. yunjin had dragged you here, insisting you needed to "get out of your head" after moping around for two weeks straight.

so here you were. red cup in hand, smile fixed in place, laughing at jokes you weren't really hearing. performing normalcy while your brain kept circling the same thoughts on loop. jake's face in that study room. the careful way he'd said i need space. the hollow feeling that had taken up permanent residence in your chest.

"you good?" beomgyu asked, leaning close to be heard over the music.

"yeah, great," you said automatically, taking another drink.

you were on your third. or fourth. you'd stopped counting. the alcohol sat warm in your stomach but hadn't managed to quiet your thoughts yet. maybe if you drank enough you'd stop replaying every conversation with jake, analysing every moment for signs you'd missed, evidence of how thoroughly you'd fucked everything up.

"i'm gonna get another drink," you said to no one in particular, pushing through the crowd toward the kitchen.

that's when you saw him.

jake. standing near the makeshift bar someone had set up on the counter, red cup in hand, talking to a girl you didn't recognise. and he was laughing. actually laughing, head thrown back, completely at ease in a way that made something hot and ugly twist in your chest.

because he never looked like that with you. even before everything went wrong, even during those tutoring sessions in your apartment when you'd thought you were building something real, he'd always been slightly careful and polite, like he was containing himself. but now he was loose and animated, gesturing with his free hand while the girl laughed at whatever he was saying, her hand resting on his arm.

her hand was on his arm.

you watched as she leaned closer, saying something that made jake grin. that specific grin, the one where his eyes crinkled at the corners and you could see his perfect teeth on display. you'd thought that smile was special. something you'd earned. but apparently he was just like this, with everyone who wasn't you.

the jealousy hit so hard it felt physical. burning through your chest, turning your vision sharp and focused. you were moving before you'd decided to, weaving through people, your jaw clenched so tight it hurt.

jake saw you coming. his smile faltered, something uncertain crossing his face. "hey—"

"who's this?" you said, gesturing at the girl. your voice came out sharper than you'd intended, heavy with something you couldn't quite name.

the girl looked between you and jake, confused. "i'm mina. jungwon's sister remember? we just met like ten minutes ago."

"oh right." you focused on jake, ignoring her entirely. "you look like you're having fun."

"i—yeah?" jake's eyebrows drew together. "it's a party?"

"funny how you can make time for parties but couldn't respond to any of my texts about the assignment."

"i told you we could do it over email—"

"is that what you're doing right now? project work?" you knew you sounded irrational, accusatory, but you couldn't stop. the words kept spilling out, poisoned by alcohol and jealousy and two weeks of feeling like you'd been the only one affected by any of this. 

"or are you just. moving on? found someone new to—"

"okay, i'm gonna go," mina said, backing away with her hands up. "this seems like. a thing. nice meeting you, jake."

she disappeared into the crowd. jake stared at you, his expression shifting from confused to something harder. "what the hell was that?"

"you tell me. you've been ignoring me for two weeks and now you're here flirting with random girls?"

"flirting?" jake's voice pitched up slightly. "flirting? i was literally just talking to her. she asked where the bathroom was and then we started chatting about the music. that's—that's not flirting, that's called being polite."

"she had her hand on your arm."

"so?" jake looked genuinely baffled now. "people touch arms when they talk. that doesn't mean anything. and even if it did—" he stopped himself, jaw tightening. "i don't owe you an explanation. you don't get to. we're not together. we're not anything."

the words hit exactly where they were meant to. "right. because you decided we're not."

"no, because you decided we weren't, like a month ago when you started playing games instead of just being honest." his voice was rising now, frustration bleeding through. "and now you're mad because i'm talking to someone else? you don't get to do that. you don't get to manipulate me into something and then act possessive when i try to move on."

"i'm not—" you started, but stopped. because he was right. you were being possessive and irrational. reading intent into a harmless conversation because you wanted there to be something there. wanted confirmation that jake was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about him.

but he wasn't. he was just living his life. talking to people at parties. laughing easily with strangers. completely unaffected while you spiralled.

"i wasn't flirting with her," jake said, quieter now. tired. "i was just being friendly. that's what normal people do. they don't engineer entire relationships or manufacture situations. they just exist around each other."

"i know," you said, your voice coming out smaller than you wanted. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have. that was out of line."

jake nodded once, already turning away. "yeah. it was."

you watched him disappear back into the crowd, leaving you standing alone by the kitchen counter. your hands were shaking. you downed the rest of your drink in one go, the burn doing nothing to quiet the noise in your head.

you'd just proven everything he'd said about you. possessive. manipulative. unable to let go. you'd projected your own feelings onto a completely innocent interaction and made a scene because you couldn't handle seeing him okay when you were so thoroughly not okay.

you'd been so certain. so sure he was flirting, that the girl meant something, that you'd caught him in some kind of lie. but you'd been wrong. completely, embarrassingly wrong. because you didn't actually know what jake was thinking. you never had. you'd just assumed, projected, filled in the gaps with your own narrative.

and now he was probably telling his friends what a psycho you were. probably regretting he'd ever let you into his life in the first place.

you grabbed another drink.

…

the party had devolved into that late-night haze where everything blurred together. people you didn't recognise, conversations you weren't part of, music that had gotten somehow both quieter and more invasive. you'd lost track of yunjin and beomgyu somewhere around drink number six. or seven. the room tilted slightly when you moved too fast.

you were trying to find your jacket, ready to call it a night, when you spotted him. jake. sitting alone on a couch in the corner, looking absolutely exhausted. his head kept drooping forward like he was fighting to stay conscious, then jerking back up. his eyes were half-closed, his usual careful posture completely abandoned.

you should walk past him. nothing good could come from another interaction tonight. you'd already embarrassed yourself once. but your feet carried you closer anyway, some magnetic pull you couldn't quite resist even knowing it was a bad idea.

you were almost past him when his hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist. "don't," he said, not looking at you. his voice was rough, slurred slightly. "don't leave."

you stopped. "jake—"

"been trying," he mumbled, his grip loosening but not releasing. "trying so hard. but you make it impossible."

"what are you talking about?"

he finally looked up at you, and his eyes were unfocused, glassy with alcohol. "you. i'm talking about you. can't stop thinking about you. it's driving me insane."

your heart lurched. "you're drunk."

"i know but so are you," he said, like that explained everything. "that's the only reason i'm saying this. because sober me knows better. sober me has self-control and boundaries and all that shit." he pulled gently on your wrist, making you stumble slightly closer. "but drunk me is tired. so tired of pretending i don't want you."

"you said you needed space."

"i do need space. because when i'm around you i can't think straight. i can't trust myself." his words were coming out uneven, tripping over each other. "you think i was avoiding you because i was mad? i was avoiding you because if i saw you i'd—" he made a frustrated noise. "i'd do something stupid. like this. this is stupid."

you sat down next to him, his hand still wrapped around your wrist. "jake—"

"you're so pretty," he said, almost accusatory. "and you smell good. and you're smart, like actually smart, not just good at school. and when you laugh it's. it does things to me. and i hate it. i hate that you have this much power over me when i don't even know if you actually like me or if i'm just… convenient."

"i do like you," you said quietly. "i've liked you the whole time."

"but do you?" he turned to face you more fully, his eyes searching yours even though he seemed to be having trouble focusing. "or do you like the idea of me? the nerdy guy you can manipulate? your little project?"

"that's not—" you stopped. "it wasn't like that. it's not like that."

"then what is it like?" he was still holding your wrist, his thumb pressing against your pulse point. "because i've been trying to figure it out for weeks and i can't. i can't understand why you'd want me. what you get out of this. and maybe i'm just stupid but i need you to tell me. plainly. what do you want from me?"

"you," you said, the word coming out more honest than you'd intended. "just. you."

jake laughed, bitter and tired. "that doesn't make sense."

"i know."

"i'm not interesting. i'm not cool or funny or—"

"you are though," you interrupted. "you are all of those things. you just don't see it."

he went quiet for a long moment. then, so quietly you almost missed it: "i've been trying so hard not to want you back. because i knew—i know it's not good for me. but i can't stop. and i'm so tired of trying."

his hand slid from your wrist to your hand, fingers threading through yours. the touch was so much gentler than you expected, almost reverent. "i deleted your texts without reading them," he admitted. "because if i read them i'd respond. and if i responded i'd end up right back where i started. wanting you. letting you in. getting hurt."

"i don't want to hurt you."

"i know. that's what makes it worse." he leaned his head back against the couch, eyes closing. "you don't mean to. you just. do."

you didn't know what to say to that. didn't know how to fix the damage you'd done or convince him that your feelings were real when your actions had been so calculated. so you just sat there, holding his hand, feeling the warmth of him next to you.

"i missed you," jake said, so quiet you barely heard it over the music. "i fucking missed you and i hated myself for it."

"i missed you too."

"yeah?" he opened his eyes, looking at you with something raw and unguarded. "you missed manipulating me?"

"that's not fair."

"isn't it though?" but there was no heat in his words. just exhaustion. "god, i'm so tired. tired of being angry. tired of trying to stay away from you. tired of pretending i don't want you so badly it hurts."

the confession hung in the air between you. jake was looking at you like he was waiting for something, permission or rejection or maybe just confirmation that you'd heard him.

you leaned in. gave him time to pull away, to remember all the reasons this was a bad idea. but he didn't. he met you halfway, his lips crashing against yours with none of the careful hesitation from before. this was messy and desperate, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair. he kissed you like he'd been holding back for too long, like all that careful control had finally snapped.

you shifted closer, practically climbing into his lap, and he made a sound against your mouth that went straight through you. his hands were everywhere, spanning your waist, sliding up your back, gripping like he was afraid you'd disappear if he loosened his hold even slightly.

"been thinking about this," he mumbled against your lips, barely pulling back enough to speak. "every night. hated myself for it but couldn't stop."

"me too," you admitted, kissing along his jaw. "i couldn't sleep. kept replaying everything."

"i lied about the texts i didn't respond to," he said, tilting his head to give you better access. "i read them. all of them before deleting. at like three am. read them over and over."

"why didn't you answer?"

"because i wanted to say things i shouldn't say. like how much i missed you. how i kept going to the lab hoping you'd be there. how seeing you at the party tonight fucking destroyed me even though i pretended i was fine." his hands tightened on your waist. "how i've been so fucking miserable without you."

you kissed him again, harder this time, swallowing his words. he responded immediately, pulling you fully into his lap now, and you could feel how much he wanted this, wanted you. it was overwhelming. intoxicating. the desperation in every touch, every small sound he made.

"we should," he said between kisses, "we should probably stop."

"do you want to stop?"

"no. god no." he pulled back just enough to look at you, his pupils blown, lips swollen. "but i'm drunk and you're drunk and tomorrow we're gonna regret—"

"i won't," you said firmly. "i won't regret this."

something shifted in his expression. softened. he touched your face with a gentleness that made your chest ache, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. "you're gonna break my heart," he said, not quite a question.

"i'm not."

"you will." but he kissed you anyway, softer this time. slower. like he was memorising the feel of you. "and i'm gonna let you. because i'm weak and pathetic and i want you so much i don't even care anymore."

"you're not weak."

"i am though." he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closing. "i'm so weak for you. it's embarrassing."

you could feel his exhaustion creeping in, the way his body was getting heavier against yours, his movements slowing. "come on," you said softly, standing and pulling him up with you. "let's get you somewhere you can actually sleep."

"don't wanna sleep," he protested, but let you guide him anyway. "wanna stay with you."

"you will. i'm not going anywhere."

you found an empty bedroom on the second floor, the door unlocked and the bed mercifully unoccupied. jake collapsed onto it immediately, pulling you down with him. he was asleep within minutes, his arms wrapped around you, face buried in your neck. his breathing evened out, deep and steady.

you should probably feel guilty. taking advantage of his drunken honesty, letting him confess things he'd normally keep locked away. but you were too tired, too overwhelmed by everything he'd said. i want you so badly it hurts. i've been so fucking miserable without you. you're gonna break my heart and i'm gonna let you.

you didn't have answers. didn't have promises you could make. didn't know how to fix the fundamental imbalance between you, the manipulation and hurt that had gotten you here.

but for now, in this quiet room with jake's warmth pressed against you, you could pretend tomorrow didn't exist. could pretend this was simple. just two people who wanted each other, tangled together in the dark, nothing more complicated than that.

you fell asleep still wearing your shoes, jake's arms tight around you, his heartbeat steady against your chest.

you woke to pale morning light filtering through unfamiliar curtains and the warm weight of jake still wrapped around you. for a disorienting moment you couldn't place where you were. then it came back in pieces. the party. the confrontation. jake's drunken confessions. falling asleep tangled together.

jake stirred against you, his breath catching as he woke. you felt the exact moment awareness returned, the way his body went tense. slowly, carefully, he pulled back just enough to look at you. his hair was a disaster, sticking up in every direction. his glasses sat crooked on the nightstand. his eyes were cautious but clear.

"hi," he said quietly.

"hi."

he didn't let go of you. didn't immediately scramble away or apologise or retreat into panic like last time. he just looked at you, searching your face for something.

"i said a lot of things last night," he finally said.

"yeah."

"i meant them." his voice was serious, steady despite the embarrassment colouring his cheeks. "i know i was drunk, and i probably shouldn't have said half of it, but. i meant it. all of it."

your heart kicked up. "jake—"

"i like you," he said, cutting you off gently. "i've liked you since that first night in the lab when you were stressed about your code and i got to actually help you with something. and it's been killing me trying to stay away from you because every time i see you i just. want you. so much that it scares me."

"why does it scare you?"

"because i don't know how to want someone this much and still protect myself." he shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow so he could see you better. "last time i didn't protect myself at all. i just. gave in. and then i panicked because it felt too big, too fast, and i didn't know how to handle it."

"and now?"

"now i'm still terrified," he admitted. "but i'm more scared of not trying. of walking away and spending the rest of college wondering what could have happened if i'd just. been brave enough to give you a real chance."

you felt something tight in your chest start to loosen. "i want that. a real chance. i want to do this right."

"yeah?"

"yeah." you reached up, brushing his messy hair back from his forehead. "i'm sorry. for all of it. the manipulation, the games, not being honest about what i wanted. you deserved better than that."

"i know," jake said simply. then, softer: "but i also know you were scared too. just in a different way."

he leaned down, kissing you with a gentleness that made your chest ache. different from last night's desperate intensity. this was slow, careful, almost questioning. you kissed him back, trying to pour everything you couldn't quite say into it. apology and promise and want all tangled together.

when he pulled back his eyes were dark, pupils blown. "i want to try again," he said. "properly this time. but i need you to be honest with me. about what you want. about what this is."

"i want you," you said. "not as a project or a conquest or whatever i convinced myself it was before. just you jake."

something in his expression softened. "okay," he said. "okay. we can work with that."

he kissed you again, deeper this time, and you felt his weight settle more fully over you. "i want to make it up to you," he murmured against your lips. "for running away before. for making you feel like you did something wrong when i was just scared."

"you don't have to—"

"i want to." he was already kissing down your neck, hands sliding under your shirt. "let me. please."

there was something in his voice, almost pleading, that made you nod. he smiled against your skin, helping you out of your clothes with more confidence than he'd had before. when you were bare beneath him he just. looked. taking his time, hands mapping your body like he was memorising every detail.

"you're so pretty," he said, almost reverent. "i thought about this. about you. so many times."

then he was moving lower, pressing kisses down your stomach, your hip bones, the inside of your thighs. when his breath ghosted over where you needed him most you couldn't help the small sound that escaped.

"tell me if anything's too much," he said, glancing up at you. then he lowered his mouth to you and your brain short-circuited.

he started slowly, almost tentatively, like he was learning you. his tongue moved in careful strokes, testing what made you gasp, what made your hips shift toward him. when he found the rhythm that had your fingers tightening in his hair, he made a low, satisfied sound against you that you felt everywhere.

"jake," you breathed, and he looked up at you through his lashes, pupils blown wide, lips glistening with your arousal.

"tell me," he said, voice rough. "tell me what feels good."

"that—" your words cut off as he did it again, tongue flicking over your clit with that same perfect pressure. "right there. just like that."

he was a quick learner. always had been. he catalogued every reaction, every sound you made, adjusting and refining. except this wasn't detached or analytical. this was hungry. desperate. he sucked your clit into his mouth and you moaned, loud and unrestrained, your thighs trembling on either side of his head.

"fuck, jake—"

"god, you taste so good," he mumbled against your pussy, barely pulling back enough to speak. his chin was wet, his glasses fogged slightly. "been thinking about this. wanted to do this right last time."

he was getting lost in it now, the careful control slipping into something messier, greedier. he alternated between focused attention on your clit and broad, indulgent strokes through your folds, like he couldn't decide between making you fall apart and simply savouring you. his tongue pushed inside you and you keened, your back arching off the bed.

"oh my god," you gasped. "jake, your mouth—"

he moaned against you, the vibration making your thighs clench around his head. he didn't seem to mind, just gripped your hips harder, pulled you closer, like he wanted to suffocate in your pussy. when his fingers joined his mouth, sliding through your wetness before pressing inside, you nearly sobbed.

"so wet," he murmured, almost to himself.

he crooked his fingers, finding that spot inside you that made you cry out, and worked it mercilessly while his tongue circled your clit. the dual sensation was overwhelming, pleasure building so fast you couldn't catch your breath. your fingers tightened in his hair, probably painful, but he just groaned and doubled his efforts.

"jake, i'm—fuck, i'm gonna—"

"i know," he said against you, his voice wrecked. "i can feel it. let go for me."

his fingers thrust deeper, faster, his mouth sucking hard on your clit, and you shattered. your orgasm hit like a shockwave, your whole body going taut as pleasure whited out your vision. you were dimly aware of the sounds you were making—high, desperate whimpers and moans—but you couldn't stop them.

jake moaned against you, the sound vibrating through your core, and he didn't let up. he worked you through it with devastating patience, his tongue lapping up everything you gave him like he was starving for it.

"jake," you gasped, trying to push at his head. "too much—"

but he just whined—actually whined—and gripped your thighs tighter, keeping them spread. "please," he mumbled against your pussy, his words muffled and desperate. "please, just one more. need to feel you come again. please."

"i can't—" but your protest died as he sealed his lips around your clit again, sucking gently, his fingers still working inside you. the overstimulation was almost painful but it was already shifting into something else, something that had you gasping and arching into his mouth instead of away from it.

he was making sounds now—desperate, needy whimpers and moans that vibrated against you. he was rutting against the mattress, you realised dimly, seeking friction while he lost himself in eating you out. his hair was a mess from your fingers, and he looked absolutely wrecked.

"so good," he whined between licks. "taste so good. could do this forever. please let me—need to make you come again—"

he was babbling now, drunk on you, his movements getting messier and more desperate. his tongue worked your clit in frantic circles while his fingers curled inside you, and the pleasure was building again impossibly fast. you were so sensitive that every touch felt electric, overwhelming.

"that's it," he gasped, feeling you start to tighten around his fingers. "yeah, give it to me. please, please—"

your second orgasm hit even harder than the first, ripping through you with an intensity that had you crying out his name, your thighs clamping around his head. jake moaned like he was the one coming, his hips jerking against the mattress as he worked you through it, tongue lapping up everything, fingers gentling but not stopping until you were actually sobbing from oversensitivity.

only then did he pull back, and when he finally lifted his head he looked completely gone. his face was flushed and wet, his eyes glazed and unfocused, his lips swollen and red. he looked drunk on you, his eyes unfocused and dark.

"fuck," he breathed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "you're so hot when you come. the sounds you make—"

you pulled him up into a kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, feeling the way he groaned into your mouth. his cock was rock hard against your thigh, leaking and desperate.

"your turn," you said, reaching down to wrap your hand around him.

he hissed at the contact, his hips jerking forward. "you don't have to—"

"i want to." you stroked him slowly, base to tip, feeling how hot and heavy he was in your palm. precum leaked from the slit and you used it to ease the glide. "you're so hard, jake. does eating my pussy turn you on that much?"

"fuck—" his voice broke. "yes. god, yes. you have no idea."

"tell me." you tightened your grip slightly and he whimpered. actually whimpered. "tell me what you were thinking about."

"i was thinking—" he gasped when your thumb swept over the sensitive head. "thinking about how good you taste. how you were shaking. how i could feel you clenching and i wanted—wanted to be inside you—"

"yeah?" you stroked him faster, loving the way his abs tensed, the way his thighs trembled. "you want to fuck me, jake?"

"so bad," he choked out.

you guided him between your legs, not quite inside yet, just letting the head of his cock slide through your wetness. he made a strangled sound, his whole body shuddering.

"we should—do you have—" he was trying to think through the haze of arousal, being responsible even now. "condom?"

"pill," you said. "i'm on the pill. and i'm clean. tested recently."

"me too. clean, i mean." his cock twitched against you, smearing precum through your folds. "can i—fuck, can i feel you bare?"

"yes," you breathed. "want to feel all of you."

he positioned himself at your entrance, the thick head pressing against you, and even that felt like too much. he pushed in slowly, so slowly, and the stretch was intense. you were wet enough that he slid in smoothly at first, but the sheer size of him was overwhelming.

"oh fuck," you gasped, your hands flying to his shoulders. "jake, you're so—you're so big—"

"i know, i'm sorry—" he froze, only halfway in. "am i hurting you?"

"no, don't stop," you urged, your legs wrapping around his hips to pull him deeper. "just—go slow. need to adjust."

he sank in another inch and you both moaned. he was splitting you open, stretching you so full you could barely breathe. when he finally bottomed out, buried completely inside you, he dropped his forehead to yours.

"oh my god," he choked out. "you're so tight. so fucking tight and wet and—i can't—"

"don't move yet," you managed, clenching around him involuntarily. he was so deep you could feel him everywhere, pressing against spots that made your toes curl. "just let me—fuck—"

"you feel incredible," he said, his voice shaking. "i've never—nothing compares to this."

you tightened around him experimentally and he swore, his hips jerking forward. "sorry, sorry," he gasped. "i'm trying to hold still but when you do that i want to—"

"want to what?" you rolled your hips slightly and he groaned, deep and guttural.

"want to move," he admitted, his control clearly fraying. "want to fuck you."

"then do it," you said.

something in him snapped. he pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in hard, the force of it punching a cry from your lips. he did it again, and again, finding a rhythm that was deep and relentless. the bed creaked beneath you, the headboard hitting the wall with each thrust.

"yes," you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders. "just like that—don't stop—"

"god," he panted, his voice wrecked. "you feel so good."

you looked down between your bodies and moaned at the sight—his thick cock disappearing into you, glistening with your wetness, stretching you obscenely. "jake, oh my god—"

"feel how deep i am?" he thrust particularly hard and you keened.

"yes—fuck yes—"

he wasn't being careful anymore, wasn't being gentle. he fucked into you with abandon, each thrust hitting that spot inside you that made sparks shoot up your spine. the sounds were obscene—skin slapping against skin, the wet slide of his cock, his grunts mixing with your moans.

"wanted this," he said against your neck, his breath hot. "wanted you. for so long."

"tell me more," you demanded, loving this unfiltered version of him.

"thought about this constantly," he admitted, his thrusts getting harder. "thought about having you like this. making you feel good. hearing you say my name."

"jake—" you were getting close again, that familiar tension building low in your belly.

"touch yourself," he said. "want to feel you come on my cock. need it. please."

you slid your hand between your bodies, finding your clit, already swollen and sensitive. the added stimulation made you clench around him and he swore, his rhythm faltering.

"that's it," he encouraged, his eyes fixed on where your fingers worked. "fuck, that's so hot. you're so hot. make yourself cum. let me feel it."

you worked your clit in tight circles, the pressure building faster with each thrust of his cock. he was so deep, hitting all the right spots, the slide of him inside you absolutely perfect. you were making sounds you'd never made before—high, desperate whines and gasps.

"close," you managed. "so close—"

"come for me," he urged, his voice strained. "squeeze my cock. want to feel your pussy milk me. come on, baby, let me feel it—"

the orgasm hit you like lightning, sudden and intense. you cried out his name, your whole body convulsing, your pussy clamping down on him rhythmically. waves of pleasure crashed over you, so intense you forgot how to breathe.

"oh fuck," jake choked out, his hips stuttering. "you're—i can feel you—i'm gonna—"

he tried to last, you could see it in the tension of his jaw, the way his arms were shaking. but your pussy was still fluttering around him, still clenching in aftershocks, and it was too much. he buried himself deep with a broken moan, his cock pulsing inside you as he came. you felt the warmth of it, felt him fill you up, and the intimacy of it made something in your chest crack open.

"fuck," he gasped, collapsing on top of you. "oh my god. that was—i've never—"

you wrapped your arms around him, both of you breathing hard, hearts racing in sync. he was still inside you, softening slowly, and you could feel his release leaking out around his cock.

"that was amazing," you said when you could finally speak. "you were amazing."

he lifted his head to look at you, his expression soft and vulnerable. "i think i might be falling for you," he said quietly. "is that okay? am i allowed to say that?"

your throat felt tight with emotion. "yeah. that's okay."

"good." he kissed you gently, sweetly. "because i don't think i could stop even if you told me to."

he pulled out carefully and you both hissed at the sensitivity. immediately he was gathering you into his arms, pulling you against his chest like he couldn't stand not touching you. you fit there perfectly, your head tucked under his chin.

"we should probably talk about this," you said after a while. "about us."

"we will," jake promised, his fingers tracing patterns on your spine. "but can we just stay like this for a bit first?"

"yeah." you pressed closer, breathing in the scent of him. "we can stay like this."

and you did. stayed tangled together as the morning light grew stronger, as the sounds of people leaving the party filtered up through the floor. his cum was still leaking out of you, making a mess on your thighs, but neither of you moved to clean up. you just held each other in this new, tentative peace.

jake changed almost overnight once you started dating. it was like giving him permission to want you openly had flipped some switch in his brain. suddenly he was everywhere.

he'd show up at your door before your 9 am lecture with coffee, your exact order memorised, his hair still messy from sleep because he'd woken up early just to see you. he'd kiss you goodbye and then text you five minutes later with some random thought he forgot to mention. did you know that octopuses have three hearts? just learnt that. thought you should know.

in class he'd sit next to you instead of in his usual back corner spot, his knee always pressed against yours under the desk. sometimes his hand would find its way to your thigh, just resting there, his thumb tracing absent patterns while he tried to focus on the lecture. you'd catch him staring at you instead of his laptop, and when you'd raise an eyebrow he'd just smile, unashamed.

"you're distracting," he'd whisper.

"i'm literally just sitting here."

"i know. it's very distracting."

study sessions became impossible. you'd be explaining a concept and he'd lean over to kiss your shoulder, your neck, the corner of your mouth. "jake, i'm trying to help you."

"i know, keep going," he'd say, already doing it again.

"you're not even listening."

"i am. you were talking about. um." he'd grin sheepishly. "okay i wasn't listening. but you're just so pretty when you're focused."

your friends noticed immediately. yunjin had taken one look at jake's arm slung around your shoulders at lunch, the way he was playing with your hair while talking to beomgyu, and pulled you aside.

"okay so he's like. obsessed with you," she said. "it's actually kind of cute. in a golden retriever kind of way."

"he's not obsessed."

"babe, he just offered to carry your bag even though your apartment is literally three minutes away. and he's been smiling at you for the past ten minutes like you hung the moon. it's obsessed behaviour."

but she said it fondly, and later you caught her telling beomgyu that she'd never seen you this relaxed before. "she's not performing," yunjin had said. "she's just. being."

and she was right. with jake you didn't have to strategise or calculate or perform anything. he wanted you. obviously, openly, without games or subtext. when you showed up to his place in sweats and no makeup, he'd light up like you'd dressed up specifically for him. when you stole his hoodies, he'd just buy more so you could steal those too.

"i like seeing you in my clothes," he'd admitted once, pulling you close. "makes me feel like. i don't know. like you're mine."

"possessive," you'd teased.

"is that bad?"

"no," you'd said, kissing him. "i like it."

jake's friends had their own reactions. you'd been nervous meeting them properly, remembering that disastrous first encounter at the party. but they'd welcomed you easily, even if they did give jake endless shit.

"dude, you're so whipped," his roommate said, watching jake immediately get up to refill your drink without being asked.

"and?" jake had said, completely unbothered.

"and nothing, it's just funny. remember when you said you'd never be that guy who drops everything for someone? and now you're literally—"

"finish that sentence and i'm not helping you with discrete math anymore."

but he was smiling when he said it, and later his roommate told you that jake talked about you constantly. "it's honestly annoying how happy he is."

the thing was, you were happy too. unexpectedly, overwhelmingly happy. jake made you sharper somehow, more focused. when you studied together you actually retained information because he made learning feel collaborative instead of competitive. he celebrated your successes like they were his own, staying up with you before big presentations, bringing you stress-relief snacks, sending you encouraging texts.

and you did the same for him. learnt his patterns, his tells when he was overwhelmed. you'd show up at the lab with dinner when you knew he'd been working for hours. you'd run your fingers through his hair when he was stressed, and he'd melt into your touch, all that tension draining away.

"you make everything easier," he'd told you once, late at night when you were both too tired to filter. "like the world's less heavy when you're around."

"that's the cheesiest thing you've ever said."

"i know. i mean it though."

weeks blurred together in the best way. stolen kisses between classes. jake's hand always finding yours. the way he'd kiss you goodbye at your door and then text you goodnight five minutes later even though he lived one floor up. movie nights that turned into makeout sessions on your couch, jake's glasses getting in the way until you carefully removed them, setting them aside so you could kiss him properly.

he got clingy when he was tired, wrapping around you like a koala, mumbling into your neck. "don't leave."

"i'm just going to get water."

"too far. stay."

"jake, i'll be gone thirty seconds."

"thirty seconds too long."

you'd laugh, running your fingers through his hair until he fell asleep, and feel something warm and settled in your chest. this was what it was supposed to feel like.

the beach had been jake's idea. "there's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight," he'd said, eyes lighting up behind his glasses. "and i know this spot that's perfect for stargazing. barely any light pollution. we could bring blankets, make a whole thing of it?"

so here you were, sitting on a blanket in the sand while the ocean crashed softly in the background. the sky was impossibly clear, stars scattered across it like someone had spilt diamonds. jake lay with his head in your lap, one of your hands playing with his hair while he pointed up at the sky.

"okay, so see those seven stars there?" he traced a pattern with his finger. "that's the big dipper, which is part of ursa major. but if you follow those two stars at the edge, they point directly to polaris. the north star."

you hummed, only half listening to the actual words. you were too busy watching him. the way his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, how animated his expressions were when he talked about something he loved. the moonlight caught on his features, highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips.

"and that one—" he was still going, completely absorbed. "that's cassiopeia. she was a queen in greek mythology who bragged about being more beautiful than the sea nymphs, so poseidon punished her by placing her in the sky upside down. you can see how the constellation kind of looks like a W? that's her throne."

"jake," you said softly.

"oh, and if you look over there, that really bright one? that's actually venus, not a star. common misconception. planets don't twinkle like stars do because—"

you leaned down and kissed him, cutting off his rambling mid-sentence. he made a surprised sound but responded immediately, his hand coming up to cup the back of your neck. when you pulled back he followed your lips automatically, trying to chase another kiss.

"you were saying?" you teased.

"i—" he blinked up at you, slightly dazed. "what was i saying?"

"something about venus."

"right. venus. because of the. um." he lost his train of thought as you leaned down again, kissing him slower this time. "you're distracting me from the meteor shower."

"am i?"

"yeah. very effectively." but he was smiling, pulling you down for another kiss.

you shifted, moving to straddle his lap properly. jake's hands immediately found your waist, sliding under your shirt to rest against bare skin. 

the kissing turned heated quickly. jake made these small, needy sounds that drove you crazy, his hands roaming over your back, your sides, anywhere he could reach. when you rolled your hips experimentally he gasped into your mouth, his grip tightening.

"fuck," he whispered. "you're gonna kill me."

you kissed down his jaw, his neck, feeling his pulse racing under your lips. his hands had moved to your hips now, guiding your movements, and you could feel how affected he was. "still thinking about the stars?" you teased.

"what stars?" he pulled you down for another bruising kiss, one hand tangling in your hair. "can't think about anything except you."

you ground down harder and jake made a sound that was almost a whine, his head falling back against the blanket. "please," he gasped. "please, i need—"

suddenly, the loud, insistent beeping of his watch interrupted the moment.

you both froze.

jake's face went bright red as he fumbled with his wrist. "oh my god. oh my god. it's my fitness watch. it thinks i'm exercising because my heart rate—" another beep. "make it stop."

you couldn't help it. you burst out laughing, burying your face in his shoulder while his watch continued its concerned beeping about his elevated heart rate. "it's not funny," jake groaned, still trying to silence the watch. "this is so embarrassing."

"it's a little funny."

"my watch just cockblocked me. there's nothing funny about that."

you kissed his jaw, still giggling. "i think it's cute. your heart rate got that high just from kissing me?"

"you were not just kissing me, you were—" he made a frustrated noise. "yes. okay. yes. you have that effect on me. are you happy?"

"very." you settled against his chest, feeling his heartbeat still racing under your ear. the watch had finally stopped beeping. "for what it's worth, my heart's doing the same thing."

"yeah?" he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.

"yeah."

you lay there together, the ocean providing a steady soundtrack, the stars scattered above you. jake pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "i love you," he said softly. "in case that wasn't obvious from the way my watch literally staged an intervention."

you lifted your head to look at him. his eyes were soft, open, vulnerable in the moonlight. "i love you too," you said, meaning it completely.

he smiled, that full, genuine smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. then he kissed you again, sweet and unhurried, his hands gentle on your face.

"we should probably head back soon," you murmured eventually. "it's getting late."

"five more minutes," jake said, pulling you closer. "just. let me hold you for five more minutes."

you settled back against him, his arms wrapped securely around you, both of you looking up at the vast sky. you'd come here to watch a meteor shower but you'd been too distracted by each other to notice if any had passed.

somehow, you didn't mind at all.

"hey," jake said softly. "thank you."

"for what?"

"for giving me another chance. for being patient with me while i figured my shit out. for. this. all of it." his arms tightened around you. "i know i was difficult at first."

"you weren't difficult. you were protecting yourself. i get it now."

"still. you could have given up on me. but you didn't."

"of course i didn't," you said, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "you're worth it. you've always been worth it."

jake made a soft, overwhelmed sound, burying his face in your hair. "i'm gonna marry you someday," he mumbled. "just so you know."

"jake—"

"not now. obviously not now. but someday. when we've graduated and figured our lives out and i can actually afford a ring. i'm gonna marry you."

you felt your chest go tight with emotion. "okay," you whispered. "someday."

"yeah. someday."

you stayed like that until the cold started seeping in, until you were both shivering despite being pressed together. finally, reluctantly, you packed up the blanket and headed back to campus. jake held your hand the entire walk, occasionally pulling you close to kiss you at random intervals.

"what was that for?" you asked after the third surprise kiss.

"just because," he said, smiling. "because i can. because i love you. do i need more reasons?"

"no," you said, kissing him back. "no more reasons needed."

if you liked this please comment or reblog to give me your feedback! <3

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr ˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

[wonsiwon]

s. jaeyun 심재윤 ! irritating?

심재윤) being with jake meant never having to think before you spoke. he was the first person you told everything to, no matter how important or stupid it was. but after hearing him call you irritating, even once, you can’t stop wondering if he’s been thinking it all along. what starts as giving him a little space slowly turns into shorter answers, unfinished stories, and eventually, complete silence.

content warning !

emotional hurt, relationship conflict, miscommunication, insecurity, self-doubt, crying, hurt feelings, guilt, comfort, reconciliation, and fluff with angst.

the apartment had that soft late afternoon glow. rain tapping the windows and a candle burning somewhere in the kitchen because you swore expensive candles made the place feel “emotionally moisturized.” jake said that phrase haunted him daily.

you were curled up on the couch beside him in oversized pink pajama shorts, talking with your hands at full speed.

“and THEN she blended the contour with a damp sponge instead of a brush and i’m telling you jake, it literally changed the structural integrity of her face.”

jake blinked slowly from where he sat, one arm stretched behind you. “structural integrity.”

“yes!” you laughed. “like she went from moon emoji to greek statue in thirty seconds.”

he gave a small chuckle at first. he always did. even when he didn’t understand you, he liked hearing you excited. your voice filled rooms too easily. like confetti someone forgot to clean up.

“and okay wait because THEN i started thinking maybe i should try that peach undertone thing? but i don’t know because the lighting in sephora is literally government propaganda.”

jake rubbed a hand down his face.

“mhm.”

you didn’t notice the shift at first.

“and babe, imagine me with that glossy lip combo i showed you? the one with the liner and—”

jake exhaled hard this time.

you paused for half a second. “what?”

“nothin.” but his eyes had already drifted away from you toward the tv that wasn’t even on.

you tried smiling anyway. “no, tell me.”

another sigh.

“baby…” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “i just… i don’t understand any of this stuff.”

your fingers slowly stilled in your lap.

“i know…” you said softly, trying to laugh it off. “you don’t gotta understand makeup.”

“no but it’s like…” he shook his head. “can you stop talking about it for like, one second?”

the room went weirdly quiet after that.

jake looked irritated in the careless way people do right before they realize they crossed a line.

“it’s just… damn.” he let out a dry laugh. “you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.”

and there it was.

it wasn’t not yelled or cruel. just tossed at you casually like it wouldn’t land somewhere permanent.

your smile faded almost invisibly.

jake finally looked at you properly then.

you swallowed once and nodded a little too quickly. “oh.. yeah. okay.”

jake looked like he had been slapped by his own sentence. just genuinely stunned at what came out of him earlier.

his eyebrows pulled together.

“no—” he let out a breath, almost disbelieving at himself. “no, i did not mean that.”

“no, you’re right.” your voice stayed painfully polite. “i totally understand.”

the bubbly energy that had been bouncing around the room seconds ago vanished like somebody unplugged it from the wall.

you stood up carefully, smoothing your shorts even though they didn’t need smoothing.

“i think i’m gonna take a nap.” you said quietly. “i’m tired.”

you usually argued back. teased him. dramatically gasped and called him rude before talking again five minutes later anyway. but this? this was different. your eyes wouldn’t even stay on him now.

he sat up straighter. “baby, wait, i didn’t mean it like that.”

you nodded again. too nice. too fast. “it’s okay.”

it was the “okay” people use when it absolutely is not okay.

you started walking toward the bedroom.

jake stared at your back for two seconds before standing abruptly. “babe.”

you stopped but didn’t turn around.

he ran a hand through his hair, already hating himself. “don’t do that.”

you looked down at the floor. “i’m not doing anything.”

and somehow that hurt him more.

jake reached for your wrist gently. “baby… look at me.”

you finally did and your eyes were glossy now, trying so hard not to be.

the regret hit him like a truck with brass knuckles.

“shit…” he whispered immediately. “no, no, sweetheart…”

his hand slid up your arm carefully like he thought you might pull away.

“i didn’t mean you’re irritating.” his voice softened fast. “i was irritated. that’s different.”

you gave the tiniest shrug. “it’s fine.”

“it’s not fine if i made you feel bad.”

your face crumpled just a little at that, enough for him to realize how hard you were trying to hold it together over one stupid comment.

jake cursed under his breath and pulled you into him before you could protest.

“you get excited and you ramble.” he murmured into your hair. “i know that. i love that about you.”

you stayed quiet against his chest.

“i’m just an idiot.” he rubbed your back slowly. “a giant one. like medically concerning levels.”

a tiny laugh escaped you accidentally.

“there she is…” he whispered immediately, relief flooding his voice like sunlight through cracked blinds.

you hid your face against him. “you hurt my feelings.”

“i know.” his grip tightened. “i know, baby. i’m sorry.”

after jake apologized. more than once, actually. he hugged you and kissed your forehead and called himself an idiot, and swore he never meant it the way it came out.

but suddenly that sentence would flash through your head out of nowhere.

irritating.

it lodged itself somewhere ugly in your brain and refused to leave.

and you hated that.

because logically, you knew jake loved you.

you knew it every time he pulled you into his lap while playing games. every time he saved the pickles from his burger because you liked them. every time he looked for you first in crowded rooms like his eyes did it automatically.

you knew.

but insecurities are weird little parasites.

they don’t care about logic.

so now every time you got excited, something inside you hesitated first.

you started noticing yourself more. maybe too much.

the way your voice got louder when you were passionate about something. the way you interrupted yourself because your thoughts moved too fast. the way you jumped from topic to topic without warning.

before, it used to feel natural.

now it felt embarrassing. like becoming aware of how loudly you chew. you couldn’t unnotice it anymore.

and the worst part?

jake didn’t even realize how much it affected you because you tried so hard to act normal.

you still smiled, still laughed and still cuddled him at night.

you just… edited yourself now.

when you got excited about something from tiktok, you’d think about bringing it up… then decide not to.

sometimes you caught yourself literally checking his face while talking to see if he looked annoyed.

that part made you feel pathetic.

and the next few days they felt… off.

not in an obvious fighting way, probably worse. but you just got quiet.

jake noticed it almost immediately.

usually when you came home from college, the apartment exploded with noise within five minutes. your bag hitting the floor dramatically. you talking about professors like they were reality show villains. random makeup opinions nobody asked for. twenty different stories tangled together at once.

but now?

nothing.

that afternoon the apartment was filled with the low hum of rain again, the tv playing some random show neither of you were paying attention to.

you sat curled into the opposite end of the couch, knees tucked to your chest while scrolling on your phone silently.

too silently.

jake glanced over from where he sat.

usually you would’ve been halfway laying on top of him by now.

instead there was actual distance between you two.

it bothered him more than he expected.

he muted the tv after a while. “how was college today?”

you didn’t even look up from your phone.

“alright.”

jake waited.

normally that question unlocked a forty minute recap complete with impressions, side quests, and emotional damage.

but that was it.

“…busy, i guess.”

his eyes narrowed slightly.

“busy?” he repeated.

“mhm.”

silence again.

the rain tapped softly against the windows.

jake stared at you for another second before leaning back slowly.

another ten minutes passed and you barely spoke. every answer was short, polite or neat. like you were trying not to bother him.

jake finally tossed the remote onto the couch with a sigh.

“okay, no.”

you looked up finally. “what?”

“why are you acting like that?”

you blinked innocently. “like what?”

“like you’re in a waiting room.”

your fingers paused against your phone screen.

“i’m not.”

“baby, you’ve said maybe six words since you got home.”

you shrugged lightly. “i’m tired.”

jake stared at you.

that shrug almost pissed him off because it was so obviously fake-casual.

he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “you’re still upset about the other night?”

your eyes dropped back to your phone instantly. “i said it was fine.”

“yeah, and i’m starting to realize that when you say ‘it’s fine’ it actually means i should start preparing my funeral arrangements.”

that almost got a smile.

he scooted closer slowly. “hey…”

you kept staring at your phone even though you hadn’t scrolled in thirty seconds.

his voice softened.

“baby.”

you swallowed. “what?”

“talk to me.”

your throat tightened a little at that because the stupid part was… you wanted to.

you missed talking to him normally.

but now every time you got excited about something, that sentence echoed in your head.

you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.

so instead you just shrugged again. “there’s nothing to talk about.”

jake’s expression shifted immediately.

hurt.

real hurt.

“don’t do that.”

you frowned softly. “do what?”

“shut me out because i said something stupid.”

you finally looked at him then.

“i’m not shutting you out.”

“yes you are.” he said quietly. “you don’t even ramble anymore.”

that word made your chest ache.

ramble…

because before, he used to say it like it was something fond.

now it just felt embarrassing.

you looked down at your lap. “i didn’t realize it was that annoying.”

jake’s face dropped instantly.

“baby…”

“it’s okay.” you said quickly. too quickly. “i’ve been trying to chill out more anyway.”

that sentence hit him like a brick to the throat.

because you sounded sincere.

like you were genuinely trying to make yourself smaller for him.

“no.” jake moved closer immediately. “no, don’t do that.”

you looked confused. “do what?”

“this.” he gestured toward you helplessly. “being all quiet and weird.”

your voice came out tiny. “i thought you wanted me to.”

jake physically flinched and silence filled the room again.

then suddenly he was pulling your phone gently out of your hands and tossing it onto the couch beside him.

“c’mere.”

before you could protest, he tugged you into his lap.

you let out a surprised noise, hands instinctively grabbing his hoodie.

jake wrapped both arms around you tightly. “i was irritated one time.” he muttered into your shoulder. “one time, and now my girlfriend acts like she needs customer service training before speaking.”

you huffed the tiniest laugh despite yourself.

“baby, i miss hearing you talk.” he admitted quietly. “the apartment feels creepy without it.”

you looked down. “really?”

“yes, really.” he said immediately. “i wanna hear about your professors and your makeup theories and whatever random thing your tiktok algorithm taught you today.” he rested his chin against your shoulder, holding you a little closer. “i don’t want you sitting here and second guess every thought before you say it.”

your eyes stung a little at that.

jake noticed instantly and groaned softly. “i meant it baby.”

he pulled you closer against his chest, rubbing your back slowly.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart.” he murmured into your hair. “seriously.”

then after a second.

“…now tell me how college was for real this time.”

you sniffled once.

“my sociology professor accidentally emailed the entire class her grocery list.”

jake blinked.

“…see? this is the quality content i’ve been missing.”

[wonsiwon]

s. jaeyun 심재윤 ! irritating?

심재윤) being with jake meant never having to think before you spoke. he was the first person you told everything to, no matter how important or stupid it was. but after hearing him call you irritating, even once, you can’t stop wondering if he’s been thinking it all along. what starts as giving him a little space slowly turns into shorter answers, unfinished stories, and eventually, complete silence.

content warning !

emotional hurt, relationship conflict, miscommunication, insecurity, self-doubt, crying, hurt feelings, guilt, comfort, reconciliation, and fluff with angst.

the apartment had that soft late afternoon glow. rain tapping the windows and a candle burning somewhere in the kitchen because you swore expensive candles made the place feel “emotionally moisturized.” jake said that phrase haunted him daily.

you were curled up on the couch beside him in oversized pink pajama shorts, talking with your hands at full speed.

“and THEN she blended the contour with a damp sponge instead of a brush and i’m telling you jake, it literally changed the structural integrity of her face.”

jake blinked slowly from where he sat, one arm stretched behind you. “structural integrity.”

“yes!” you laughed. “like she went from moon emoji to greek statue in thirty seconds.”

he gave a small chuckle at first. he always did. even when he didn’t understand you, he liked hearing you excited. your voice filled rooms too easily. like confetti someone forgot to clean up.

“and okay wait because THEN i started thinking maybe i should try that peach undertone thing? but i don’t know because the lighting in sephora is literally government propaganda.”

jake rubbed a hand down his face.

“mhm.”

you didn’t notice the shift at first.

“and babe, imagine me with that glossy lip combo i showed you? the one with the liner and—”

jake exhaled hard this time.

you paused for half a second. “what?”

“nothin.” but his eyes had already drifted away from you toward the tv that wasn’t even on.

you tried smiling anyway. “no, tell me.”

another sigh.

“baby…” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “i just… i don’t understand any of this stuff.”

your fingers slowly stilled in your lap.

“i know…” you said softly, trying to laugh it off. “you don’t gotta understand makeup.”

“no but it’s like…” he shook his head. “can you stop talking about it for like, one second?”

the room went weirdly quiet after that.

jake looked irritated in the careless way people do right before they realize they crossed a line.

“it’s just… damn.” he let out a dry laugh. “you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.”

and there it was.

it wasn’t not yelled or cruel. just tossed at you casually like it wouldn’t land somewhere permanent.

your smile faded almost invisibly.

jake finally looked at you properly then.

you swallowed once and nodded a little too quickly. “oh.. yeah. okay.”

jake looked like he had been slapped by his own sentence. just genuinely stunned at what came out of him earlier.

his eyebrows pulled together.

“no—” he let out a breath, almost disbelieving at himself. “no, i did not mean that.”

“no, you’re right.” your voice stayed painfully polite. “i totally understand.”

the bubbly energy that had been bouncing around the room seconds ago vanished like somebody unplugged it from the wall.

you stood up carefully, smoothing your shorts even though they didn’t need smoothing.

“i think i’m gonna take a nap.” you said quietly. “i’m tired.”

you usually argued back. teased him. dramatically gasped and called him rude before talking again five minutes later anyway. but this? this was different. your eyes wouldn’t even stay on him now.

he sat up straighter. “baby, wait, i didn’t mean it like that.”

you nodded again. too nice. too fast. “it’s okay.”

it was the “okay” people use when it absolutely is not okay.

you started walking toward the bedroom.

jake stared at your back for two seconds before standing abruptly. “babe.”

you stopped but didn’t turn around.

he ran a hand through his hair, already hating himself. “don’t do that.”

you looked down at the floor. “i’m not doing anything.”

and somehow that hurt him more.

jake reached for your wrist gently. “baby… look at me.”

you finally did and your eyes were glossy now, trying so hard not to be.

the regret hit him like a truck with brass knuckles.

“shit…” he whispered immediately. “no, no, sweetheart…”

his hand slid up your arm carefully like he thought you might pull away.

“i didn’t mean you’re irritating.” his voice softened fast. “i was irritated. that’s different.”

you gave the tiniest shrug. “it’s fine.”

“it’s not fine if i made you feel bad.”

your face crumpled just a little at that, enough for him to realize how hard you were trying to hold it together over one stupid comment.

jake cursed under his breath and pulled you into him before you could protest.

“you get excited and you ramble.” he murmured into your hair. “i know that. i love that about you.”

you stayed quiet against his chest.

“i’m just an idiot.” he rubbed your back slowly. “a giant one. like medically concerning levels.”

a tiny laugh escaped you accidentally.

“there she is…” he whispered immediately, relief flooding his voice like sunlight through cracked blinds.

you hid your face against him. “you hurt my feelings.”

“i know.” his grip tightened. “i know, baby. i’m sorry.”

after jake apologized. more than once, actually. he hugged you and kissed your forehead and called himself an idiot, and swore he never meant it the way it came out.

but suddenly that sentence would flash through your head out of nowhere.

irritating.

it lodged itself somewhere ugly in your brain and refused to leave.

and you hated that.

because logically, you knew jake loved you.

you knew it every time he pulled you into his lap while playing games. every time he saved the pickles from his burger because you liked them. every time he looked for you first in crowded rooms like his eyes did it automatically.

you knew.

but insecurities are weird little parasites.

they don’t care about logic.

so now every time you got excited, something inside you hesitated first.

you started noticing yourself more. maybe too much.

the way your voice got louder when you were passionate about something. the way you interrupted yourself because your thoughts moved too fast. the way you jumped from topic to topic without warning.

before, it used to feel natural.

now it felt embarrassing. like becoming aware of how loudly you chew. you couldn’t unnotice it anymore.

and the worst part?

jake didn’t even realize how much it affected you because you tried so hard to act normal.

you still smiled, still laughed and still cuddled him at night.

you just… edited yourself now.

when you got excited about something from tiktok, you’d think about bringing it up… then decide not to.

sometimes you caught yourself literally checking his face while talking to see if he looked annoyed.

that part made you feel pathetic.

and the next few days they felt… off.

not in an obvious fighting way, probably worse. but you just got quiet.

jake noticed it almost immediately.

usually when you came home from college, the apartment exploded with noise within five minutes. your bag hitting the floor dramatically. you talking about professors like they were reality show villains. random makeup opinions nobody asked for. twenty different stories tangled together at once.

but now?

nothing.

that afternoon the apartment was filled with the low hum of rain again, the tv playing some random show neither of you were paying attention to.

you sat curled into the opposite end of the couch, knees tucked to your chest while scrolling on your phone silently.

too silently.

jake glanced over from where he sat.

usually you would’ve been halfway laying on top of him by now.

instead there was actual distance between you two.

it bothered him more than he expected.

he muted the tv after a while. “how was college today?”

you didn’t even look up from your phone.

“alright.”

jake waited.

normally that question unlocked a forty minute recap complete with impressions, side quests, and emotional damage.

but that was it.

“…busy, i guess.”

his eyes narrowed slightly.

“busy?” he repeated.

“mhm.”

silence again.

the rain tapped softly against the windows.

jake stared at you for another second before leaning back slowly.

another ten minutes passed and you barely spoke. every answer was short, polite or neat. like you were trying not to bother him.

jake finally tossed the remote onto the couch with a sigh.

“okay, no.”

you looked up finally. “what?”

“why are you acting like that?”

you blinked innocently. “like what?”

“like you’re in a waiting room.”

your fingers paused against your phone screen.

“i’m not.”

“baby, you’ve said maybe six words since you got home.”

you shrugged lightly. “i’m tired.”

jake stared at you.

that shrug almost pissed him off because it was so obviously fake-casual.

he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “you’re still upset about the other night?”

your eyes dropped back to your phone instantly. “i said it was fine.”

“yeah, and i’m starting to realize that when you say ‘it’s fine’ it actually means i should start preparing my funeral arrangements.”

that almost got a smile.

he scooted closer slowly. “hey…”

you kept staring at your phone even though you hadn’t scrolled in thirty seconds.

his voice softened.

“baby.”

you swallowed. “what?”

“talk to me.”

your throat tightened a little at that because the stupid part was… you wanted to.

you missed talking to him normally.

but now every time you got excited about something, that sentence echoed in your head.

you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.

so instead you just shrugged again. “there’s nothing to talk about.”

jake’s expression shifted immediately.

hurt.

real hurt.

“don’t do that.”

you frowned softly. “do what?”

“shut me out because i said something stupid.”

you finally looked at him then.

“i’m not shutting you out.”

“yes you are.” he said quietly. “you don’t even ramble anymore.”

that word made your chest ache.

ramble…

because before, he used to say it like it was something fond.

now it just felt embarrassing.

you looked down at your lap. “i didn’t realize it was that annoying.”

jake’s face dropped instantly.

“baby…”

“it’s okay.” you said quickly. too quickly. “i’ve been trying to chill out more anyway.”

that sentence hit him like a brick to the throat.

because you sounded sincere.

like you were genuinely trying to make yourself smaller for him.

“no.” jake moved closer immediately. “no, don’t do that.”

you looked confused. “do what?”

“this.” he gestured toward you helplessly. “being all quiet and weird.”

your voice came out tiny. “i thought you wanted me to.”

jake physically flinched and silence filled the room again.

then suddenly he was pulling your phone gently out of your hands and tossing it onto the couch beside him.

“c’mere.”

before you could protest, he tugged you into his lap.

you let out a surprised noise, hands instinctively grabbing his hoodie.

jake wrapped both arms around you tightly. “i was irritated one time.” he muttered into your shoulder. “one time, and now my girlfriend acts like she needs customer service training before speaking.”

you huffed the tiniest laugh despite yourself.

“baby, i miss hearing you talk.” he admitted quietly. “the apartment feels creepy without it.”

you looked down. “really?”

“yes, really.” he said immediately. “i wanna hear about your professors and your makeup theories and whatever random thing your tiktok algorithm taught you today.” he rested his chin against your shoulder, holding you a little closer. “i don’t want you sitting here and second guess every thought before you say it.”

your eyes stung a little at that.

jake noticed instantly and groaned softly. “i meant it baby.”

he pulled you closer against his chest, rubbing your back slowly.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart.” he murmured into your hair. “seriously.”

then after a second.

“…now tell me how college was for real this time.”

you sniffled once.

“my sociology professor accidentally emailed the entire class her grocery list.”

jake blinked.

“…see? this is the quality content i’ve been missing.”

[minhosimthings]

You, my eternity || 18+

Synopsis: Your husband just can't keep it in his pants when he sees you holding baby clothes.

Pairing: husband!fuma x fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, p in v, unprotected sex (not for you), mating press, big dick fuma, size kink, breeding a shit ton of breeding, fingering, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, dom!fuma, sub!reader, we're fucking against a wall btw, mentions of pregnancy, fuma's just horny asf, romance because obviously, yudai cameo i love him

A/N: i love you anon for requesting this, initially wrote about it here! i fainted 3497348 times writing this because lord knows im so pathetic for husband fuma THE SHIT I'D DO FOR HIM TO CALL ME DARLING THE SHIT I WOULD DO. Tagging my mother @blueuijoo because i need to get revenge 🫶 as always, enjoy, my babies!

Word Count: 6.7k (yall are getting bred good)

“What about this one? Too green?” 

Murata Fuma was a fucked man. 

He knew that the moment you had asked him to accompany him to the mall to buy presents for your best friend’s baby shower, his dick twitching at the prospect of seeing you run your hands over baby clothes. Earlier that week he had already seen you fawn over your baby nephew, holding him close to your chest and bouncing him up and down, all wide smiles and laughter that sounded poetic to him.

Murata Fuma was a fucked man everytime he thought about having children with you, laying you down on your bed and drilling you with his cock all damn night, pumping you full of his cum and waking up the next morning to go to the gynaecologist.

“Not green enough.” He chuckled, leaning against the shelf as you scanned your eyes with laser precision through all the shades of green of baby clothes neatly folded in front of you.

“Well, can’t say I trust you, baby.” You laughed, reaching to the very back of the shelf, “If it was up to you, we’d be shopping for Pokemon baby toys.”

“Hey, gotta get them in young.” Fuma shrugged his shoulders, crossing his arms and feigning deep thought as you pulled out an olive green shirt the size of his biceps, “Perfectly green enough.”

“I know right?” You smiled at him, looking down at the cloth in your hand with shining, triumphant eyes, “God, I hope she likes this.” 

“Of course she will, darling.” Fuma stepped forward slowly, filling your senses with his cologne, “You picked it out didn't you?” His hands came up to your waist, eyes fixed on your lips as he ran a tongue over his. 

Fuma stepped closer until the shelf behind you pressed lightly against your back, the tiny green shirt still clutched in your hands. You barely had time to raise an eyebrow before he leaned in.

“Fuma—” you started. But his lips met yours first.

Warm, oh so warm and certain, like he already knew you were going to laugh about it a second later. His hand stayed at your waist, steadying you as he kissed you, gentle but lingering enough that your protest turned into a muffled giggle against his mouth.

You pushed lightly at his chest. “We’re in public,” You whispered, breathless and amused.

“And?” He pulled back just a fraction, close enough that you could still feel the warmth of his breath, “Can I not kiss my darling wife in public?” The playful look in his eyes made your resolve wobble.

You shook your head, trying to look annoyed, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. For a moment you simply looked at him and something about the closeness, the familiar comfort of it, pulled you right back.

Before you could overthink it, you leaned forward again. This time the kiss was yours, soft and unhurried, your lips brushing his as if you were testing the moment rather than stealing it. His hand tightened slightly at your waist in quiet surprise, and he leaned into it instinctively, deepening the warmth of the kiss. You tasted faintly like the honey he’d put on your pancakes earlier in the morning.

When you finally pulled away, your cheeks were warm and your heart was beating a little faster than it should have been for a quiet aisle full of baby clothes. The moment sparked a memory so vividly that it made you smile.

The first time you had ever kissed each other was on your third date, You could still see the scene in your mind—your apartment lit softly by the ikea lamps you got on sale, the city lights outside the window flickering against the glass. A half-finished glass of wine sat on the table between you while the two of you talked about everything and nothing and the newest pokemon cards.

He had been sitting beside you on the couch, turning the stem of his wine glass slowly in his fingers, pretending to be calm but clearly working up the courage to do something. You had noticed of course—call it a lover’s intuition.

And when he finally leaned in that night, the kiss had been messy as messy could be, teeth accidentally bumping into each other, you almost biting his lips off and a glass of spilled wine. 

But here you were, years later, wedding band on your finger and his wine stained shirt sitting somewhere at the back of your closet. 

How beautiful a thing love was, you thought, even after all these years, kissing him felt exactly the same.

“You wanna go checkout?” You smiled, pressing your forehead to his. Fuma laughed softly.

“Five minutes more.” 

___________________

Spring had arrived softly that year.

The air in the backyard carried the faint sweetness of blooming jasmine and freshly cut grass, sunlight filtering through the branches of a large maple tree that stretched comfortably across the yard. Someone had strung delicate pastel ribbons between the branches, and they fluttered lazily whenever the breeze passed through.

Tables were arranged across the lawn with soft cream tablecloths, each one decorated with small glass jars filled with pale pink roses and sprigs of baby’s breath. A long wooden table near the patio held the gifts—colorful boxes stacked in cheerful towers. Somewhere near the fence, a group of guests laughed over plastic cups of lemonade and iced tea.

It was the kind of afternoon that felt warm without being heavy, the perfect afternoon for a baby shower.

And the perfect afternoon for Fuma to internally combust whenever he saw you.

You had chosen a soft pastel summer dress for the occasion, the color somewhere between blush pink and pale peach, the fabric light enough to move gently whenever the wind touched it. The hem reached your lower thigh, brushing lightly against your legs as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

Your hair caught the sunlight every time you turned your head, strands glowing gold for just a second before settling again. You sat beside the mother to be—your best friend—talking excitedly with animated gestures, your hands moving as laughter erupted.

Even from across the yard, Fuma could hear the brightness in your voice. He leaned casually against the wooden railing of the deck, a plastic cup of lemonade in his hand that he had completely forgotten to drink. His attention was fixed entirely on you, watching the way you smiled when your friend showed you a tiny pair of baby socks.

Something about it made his chest feel tight.

“Man.” The voice beside him cut through his thoughts. Yudai appeared at his shoulder, arms folded as he followed Fuma’s line of sight across the yard. It took him about half a second to realize exactly what his friend had been staring at.

“You look ridiculous.” Yudai snorted, looking ridiculous with a flower crown on his head.

“What?” Fuma said absentmindedly, not moving his eyes away from you.

“You,” Yudai said, pointing directly at his face, “look like a wide eyed idiot.”

That earned him a small huff of laughter from Fuma. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious,” Yudai continued, leaning his elbows on the railing. “You’ve been standing here staring at her for ten minutes like she’s the last person on earth.”

“That obvious?” Fuma finally looked at him. Yudai stared at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s worse than I thought.”

Across the yard, you had crouched down beside the stroller someone had brought as a decoration display, picking up a tiny stuffed bear and holding it up with a delighted smile. Your friend said something excitedly, and the two of you dissolved into laughter.

Fuma turned his attention back to you without even realizing he had done it. The sight made something warm, like coffee steam, settle in his chest.

“Oh wow,” Yudai said slowly, noticing immediately, “How close is your heart to giving out right now?”

Fuma sighed heavily, “Extremely.” The admission slipped out more easily than he expected. Yudai tilted his head, studying him.

“You know,” He said thoughtfully, “I used to think you were exaggerating when you talked about her.”

“What do you mean?” Fuma frowned, turning his attention to his older friend now.

“I mean,” Yudai gestured toward the yard, “the way you talk about her sometimes? I figured it was just normal relationship stuff.” He paused to adjust his falling crown, “But that look on your face right now?” he added with a grin. “That’s like……the exact same expression every male lead in a romance anime makes.”

Fuma leaned back against the railing, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah.” He admitted quietly.

“You’re not even going to deny it?” Yudai blinked, the only time he’d ever seen his friend like this was at an eevee convention.

“What’s the point?” Fuma said, “I didn't marry her for nothing, you know.” His gaze drifted back to you again. You were still laughing with your friend, holding the tiny stuffed bear to your chest, the sunlight catching the soft folds of your dress, making the pastel fabric glow softly.

For a moment you looked angelic.

“I just….love her so much.” Fuma exhaled slowly.

“And?” Yudai’s brow arched.

Fuma watched as you stood up again, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear while listening to someone else talk.

“She’d be such a good mom,” He murmured, almost to himself. Yudai followed his gaze again.

“You’re thinking about that already?” He said, nudging his shoulder.

“It’s been two years already.” Fuma shrugged slightly, “Is that too fast?”

Yudai studied his friend carefully, watching the way his eyes went all droopy and drunk every time his gaze landed on you. 

“You’ve got it down bad, man.” A giggle came from Yudai. 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Fuma chuckled under his breath.

For a moment they stood there in silence, the sounds of the party drifting through the yard—laughter, soft music playing from a speaker near the patio, the clinking of glasses.

“You should tell her.” Yudai nudged him with his elbow.

“Tell her what?” Fuma blinked at him.

“That.” Yudai said simply.

“What do you mean, ‘that’?” Fuma frowned.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Yudai replied. “If you’re standing here thinking about having kids with her, maybe you should actually say something.”

Fuma hesitated. The idea made his stomach twist slightly. You two hadn't had a proper conversation about kids before getting married—he knew it was an immature thing to do, but love always seemed to make time seem like an ephemeral thing, passing by like the honest wind. And he would rather die than put that burden on you.

“She might think it’s weird.” He said, gaze flickering down to the grass.

“Why?”

“It’s a baby shower.”

“Exactly, you stupid man.”

Fuma blinked at him as Yudai sighed and gestured toward the yard again, clearly done with the lack of romantic tropes in his best friend’s life. 

“You’re literally surrounded by baby decorations, gifts, and people talking about parenting. If there’s ever a moment to say something about wanting a future together, this is probably it.”

Fuma glanced back toward you. You had moved closer to the gift table now, examining the olive green baby shirt you had picked out together. The sight made him smile automatically. You looked so proud of that tiny shirt.

And suddenly, without warning, the thought appeared again. A family with you. You laughing in a backyard like this again someday, except the baby everyone was celebrating would be yours. The idea sent a strange mix of excitement and nervousness rushing through him.

“Oooh you’re thinking about it.” Yudai teased, his voice a pitch higher as he giggled at the expression on Fuma’s face, “Go tell her, already!”

Across the yard, you turned slightly, scanning the guests as if searching for someone. For a brief moment, your eyes met, your face lighting up instantly as you waved to him. Fuma felt his heart stumble in his chest as he raised his hand in return without thinking.

“She’s looking at you like you hung the moon,” Yudai said casually.

“You’re exaggerating.” Fuma laughed softly.

“I’m really not.” He nudged Fuma again. “Seriously. Go.”

Fuma looked at you one more time. You were still smiling at him, waiting for him to come over. And suddenly the world felt like the simplest thing ever—just you two in it, sitting atop clouds and drinking lemonade wrapped up in each other’s arms.

“Alright,” He said, “But I’m doing it when we get home.” 

“That’s my guy.” Yudai grinned, triumphantly pushing up his crown.

Fuma pushed himself off the railing, setting his untouched drink down on the deck table. As he stepped onto the grass and began walking toward you, the sounds of the party seemed to fade slightly into the background. The only thing he could really focus on was the way your smile grew wider the closer he got.

Love was a simple thing really, or at least the definition of it was.

Every version of it always started with you.

_________________

You stepped through the front door of your home, the faint scent of baby powder and cake from the baby shower still clinging to your clothes. The afternoon had been sweet—eating cake and getting pumped with lemonade as you cooed over baby clothes with your friends. It was one of those rare moments when the world felt like something more than gray matter.

But now, exhaustion tugged at you, and you kicked off your shoes, heading straight for the bathroom. Fuma had left before you did, tugged away by a work call which he apologised at least fifteen times for before you placed your hand on his and told him gently that it was alright.

He was already home; you'd seen his car in the driveway, but the house was quiet, save for the distant hum of the refrigerator.

The hot water cascaded over your skin in the shower, washing away the day's stickiness. You lathered up with your favorite lavender soap, letting the steam fill the small space. By the time you stepped out, wrapping a towel around yourself, the sun was dipping lower outside the window.

You dried off and slipped into your lace camisole and matching panties—soft, sheer fabric that hugged your curves, the delicate patterns whispering against your skin, perfectly comfortable for a lazy evening, you thought, as you padded into the kitchen to make yourself a snack.

Chopping fruits at the counter, you absentmindedly hummed a tune, unaware of the absolute storm brewing behind you. You were completely absorbed in your task, blissfully unaware of his presence.

Fuma stood in the doorway of the kitchen, admiring you from behind. The soft glow of the setting sun cast a warm light across your silhouette, highlighting the curves of your hips. 

He stepped closer, his eyes roaming over your body, taking in every detail. The way the soft lace of your camisole clung to your skin, the way the sheer fabric revealed tantalizing glimpses of what lay beneath. He felt a surge of desire, a hunger that grew with each passing moment.

It had been like this ever since the afternoon, ever since the moment you leaned into his touch when he wrapped his arm around your waist to tug you closer whilst you both ate cake. The way you had teasingly sucked on his thumb when he reached to wipe cream off of your lips sent blood rushing everywhere in his body.

His footsteps were silent until they weren't. Suddenly, his presence loomed behind you, heat radiating from his body like a furnace. 

“Oh.” You made a soft noise as the smell of soft cotton filled your senses, “Hi baby. Want some strawberries?” You held up a piece to him.

Your husband didn't answer you, his lips finding your neck instead. He began to trail soft kisses along your skin, starting at your collarbone and working his way up. Each kiss sent a shiver down your spine, your body responding to his touch instinctively.

“Alright then, more for me I guess.” You chuckled, used to being bombed with his love randomly at times like this. As he continued to explore your neck with his lips, his hands began to roam, slipping under the hem of your camisole to caress the smooth skin of your stomach. His touch was gentle at first, but as the heat between you grew, his kisses became more urgent, more demanding.

“Fuma, sweetheart, you alright?” You asked, tilting your head back. Before you could turn, his hands gripped your hips, pulling you back against him. His breath was hot against your neck, ragged and urgent. 

He nipped at your earlobe, sending another wave of pleasure through you. His hands moved higher, cupping your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples until they hardened beneath his touch.

You let out a soft moan, your head falling back against his shoulder, lost in the sensation of his touch. He took advantage of your position, his lips finding the sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder, and he began to suck and nibble at the skin, leaving a trail of red marks in his wake.

“You’re so beautiful.” Fuma sighed, lips brushing your ear, “Too damn beautiful." Fierce, open-mouthed pressed along the curve of your throat, teeth grazing just enough to send shivers racing down your spine.

Your body arched against him, your hips pressing back into his own. His hands continued to explore, one moving down to slip beneath the waistband of your panties, his fingers brushing against your most intimate area.

You gasped, the knife clattering to the cutting board as your hands braced against the counter. Fuma's worship was consuming; his mouth trailed lower, sucking at the sensitive spot below your jaw.

His arousal pressed hard against your ass through his jeans, unyielding and insistent. He nipped at your shoulder, pushing the strap of your top aside to expose more flesh, his tongue laving over the mark he'd made.

The intensity built like a wildfire, you tried to steady yourself, but Fuma spun you around, backing you against the kitchen wall with a thud that rattled a nearby cabinet. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide with lust, as he caged you in—forearms braced on either side of your head. 

“So beautiful, darling.” He repeated, crashing his lips to yours in a kiss that was all teeth and tongue, devouring you, “Looked so perfect today.” His hands roamed, one sliding up to cup your breast through the lace, thumb circling your nipple until it peaked hard and aching. He broke the kiss only to drop to his knees, his gaze locked on yours, feral and reverent.

“Fuma…” You sighed as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, glancing up once to make sure you’re alright. When you gave him a small nod, he yanked them down your thighs in one swift motion.

You had no idea just what had gotten into your husband today—he was never one to initiate sex, always waiting for your approval and arousal and following through. A gentleman, in many ways.

There was nothing gentleman-ly in the way Fuma gripped your thighs now, his strength unyielding, and hoisted your legs over his broad shoulders, god his strength turned you on so much. 

The idea that this man could you probably crush you between his arms with one gentle squeeze, and yet here he was, worshiping your pussy like it was his only diety—werent you the luckiest woman on earth? Your back pressed flat against the wall, the rough texture scraping lightly as he buried his face between your legs.

His mouth was ravenous, sweet tongue flat and broad, he licked a long stripe up your slit, savoring your taste with a guttural moan that vibrated through you. “So sweet for me, darling.” Fuma praised, words muffled as he delved deeper. 

He sucked your clit between his lips, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, relentless in his assault, as you practically rode his face. Your hands flew to his hair, tugging at the dark strands as the pleasure coiled tight in your belly. Fuma's grip tightened, holding you open, his nose bumping your mound with each eager thrust of his tongue inside you.

He ate you like a man starved, alternating between broad laps that coated his chin with your arousal and precise circles around your swollen nub. One hand slid up your inner thigh, fingers teasing your entrance before plunging two inside, curling them against that spot that made stars burst behind your eyelids. It was his favourite spot, the way it made his pretty wife shake in his grasp always made his dick twitch.

“Fuma!” You cried out, hips bucking involuntarily, “Right there, right—ahh fuckkkk…” Fuma pinned you firmer, devouring every drop as your thighs trembled over his shoulders.

“Relax, baby.” He urged, “Let go for me, that’s a good girl.”

The pressure built until it snapped—your orgasm crashed over you, walls clenching around your husband’s fingers as you flooded his mouth, body arching off the wall. You cried out his name, your body shaking with the force of your orgasm. He held you close as you rode out the waves of pleasure, his own breathing ragged as he watched you come undone in his arms.

When it was over, he pulled back slightly, looking up at you with his beautiful eyes. “Are you alright, darling?”

“That was….” You breathed, as he lowered your legs gently and rose, “What horny demon possessed you today, my dearest husband?”

“I’ve been asking the same question.” Fuma chuckled, claiming your mouth in a deep kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue, “It's just….” 

Fuma stopped in his tracks as he saw the way you looked at him, wide, loving eyes that held nothing but trust in them. God he felt so stupid, he could have just told you what he wanted. But—akin to a spoiled child—he had to go and fulfill his whims, and now he didn't know how to breach the subject.

“What happened baby?” You tilted your head, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek. Fuma melted into your palm, closing his eyes for a brief second, letting himself get lost in the cotton of your touch. 

“You know how we were at the baby shower?”

“Uh huh.” You said, suppressing a giggle. 

“And you know how we went to shop for baby clothes the other day?” 

“Baby—”

“I want to do that again.” Fuma pressed a soft kiss to your palm, “I want to do that all over again, but—” His hold on your waist tightened, as if to ground himself, “—I want to do that for our family.”

When you married Fuma, a little voice in your head had told you that this would be the man you’d spent the rest of your life with, and it had asked you, are you sure? And you had answered back, yes. If life was three seconds, three days, three months or thirty years long, this man would be the person you’d spend the rest of it with. To run through dandelion fields, to talk about everything and nothing all at once under a starry sky, to celebrate the poetry of life with. 

“Our family?” You repeated softly. 

Fuma nodded once, though the movement was small. “Yeah.” His heart was beating fast now, faster than he would have liked, suddenly looking far less confident than he had a moment ago. “I mean—not right this second,” He added quickly. “I’m not trying to rush you or anything like that.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your face at that. Your husband looked like a child in trouble.

“But…” He continued, searching for the right words. “Standing there today, watching you with your friend, seeing how excited you were about everything…” He glanced down briefly, then back at you again. “You’d be amazing.” He said quietly.

“Amazing?” Your expression softened.

“A mom.” The word seemed to surprise the both of you. Fuma laughed under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck again.

“See, this is why I didn’t plan to say this out loud.” He muttered, the tips of his ears turning faintly red.

“You’re doing great so far.” You laughed softly. He looked at you carefully, trying to read your expression.

“I just—” He paused, then tried again. “When I think about the future, you’re always there, every version of it.” You didn’t interrupt him this time. “And today just made it… clearer, I guess,” He finished.

Fuma reached up to brush a strand of your hair back behind your ears, another shuddering breath from him as he saw how damn beautiful you were. Two years of marriage and he still couldn't help but feel like a stupid 20 year old boy everytime he looked at you.

“You really thought about this a lot, didn’t you?” You asked

“A little.”

“Fuma.” You raised a brow.

“Okay.” He admitted. “A lot.”

That made you laugh again. The tension in his shoulders eased slightly when he heard it. Then you reached up again, your hand returning to his cheek.

“And what if I said—” You smiled sheepishly, “—I thought about it too?”

Fuma didn't know if it was relief or something else that washed over him at your words.

“Say sike right now.”

“Oh god Fuma.” You laughed, slapping his chest, “What has Maki been teaching you?” You laughed with him for a second before sighing and smiling softly, “If I’m being a hundred percent honest…the thought has come into my mind a few times, especially whenever you held a baby.” You ran a tongue over your lips, “You look exceptionally dashing when you do that.”

“Dashing?”  Fuma cocked a brow, eyes flickering to your lips, “Go on.” 

“Well,” You continued, “It’s been two years already.” Your hand reached down slowly, “And we’re both logical adults.” You palmed his cock, “And we’re both very horny right now.” He was already so hard beneath your touch, “And I don’t think I can sleep without another orgasm tonight." 

Whatever Fuma did in his past life to get you in this one, he was thankful he did it. He let out a soft groan as you palmed his cock straining through his pants. God you were such a perfect fucking wife.

“You’re sure darling?” Fuma asked, “It’s a really big decision you know.” 

“Good that I make really nice decisions then hm?” You squeezed his hard length through his pants, a playful smile on your lips, “Need you so bad Fuma.” You rocked your hips against his, fluttering your lashes. 

Fuma groaned at your words, his hips thrusting forward involuntarily into your touch. "You're going to be the death of me."

With that, he scooped you up into his arms, carrying you off to the bedroom with a determined stride. The mattress dipped under his weight as he laid you down, the lace camisole still clinging to your sweat-damp skin, his eyes roaming over your body with a hungry gaze. Two years of marriage and he was still putty beneath the power of your gorgeous face.

Fuma crawled onto the bed, covering your body with his own. He kissed you deeply, his tongue delving into your mouth to claim you—though you were already his. His hands roamed over your body, caressing every inch of your skin, leaving trails of fire in their wake.

Your husband took a moment to admire your chest, running his thumbs over your hardened nipples. You gasped at the contact, arching your back to press yourself further into his touch.

Fuma stripped quickly—shirt tossed aside, sweats kicked off—revealing his toned body, cock thick and straining, tip red hot and angry. He slowly (very very agonizingly slowly) settled between your thighs, propping himself on one elbow while his free hand traced lazy patterns over your hip. 

“You’re so beautiful, darling." He breathed, repeating the same praise for the fifteenth time that evening, eyes tracing every inch with worshipful intensity. His fingers dipped lower, gathering your lingering wetness before circling your entrance teasingly.

Slowly, so slowly, he pushed one thick finger inside you, watching your face as your pussy stretched around the intrusion. 

“So damn tight….gonna have to work her open first, yeah?” Fuma pumped it in and out, deliberate strokes that had you mewling, the earlier orgasm leaving you hypersensitive. He added a second finger, scissoring them gently, stretching your walls with patient precision. 

Fuma leaned down, kissing your collarbone, then your breasts, sucking a nipple through the lace until it was soaked and translucent. “I love you, my darling.” he murmured against your skin, his voice a mix of ferocity and adoration, “My everything, sweetheart.” 

“Fuma—feel so good…..fuck!” His fingers curled inside you, stroking that inner ridge over and over, building the heat anew.

You writhed beneath him, hands clutching the sheets, as he worked you open—three fingers now, thrusting deep, preparing you for what was to come. The room filled with the wet sounds of his fingers fucking you, your moans echoing off the walls.

He kept the pace languid, draaawing out every sensation, his free hand pinning your wrist above your head in a gentle hold. 

“Taking me so good, my darling.” Fuma’s eyes never left yours, passionate and intense, as another climax built, slower this time, like the coming of a spring, “Let go for me, go on.”

When it hit, it washed through you in waves, your pussy fluttering around his fingers, pulling him deeper. Your husband groaned, withdrawing at last, his cock twitching against your thigh. 

“Alright, baby?” Fuma asked, gentle faze tracing over your twitching body. Cute, he thought, she’s shaking from just my fingers.

“Fumaaa…” You whined, bringing your hand up to stroke his jaw, looking at him though half lidded eyes, “Want your cock, please?” 

Your husband was a….large man. Compared to others atleast, fucking hell was he built like a truck—one of the many reasons you married him. He was big in every aspect, broad shoulders and chest, thick fucking fingers (the fluid dripping down your thighs was proof it only took one deep plunge to make you cum), and perhaps the fattest cock you had ever seen in your life. 

And by god did it fill his ego to the brim to see you struggle to take him. 

His pretty little wife.

“Ready darling?” Your husband asked, all formal, as if anything was formal about that dick, positioning himself. 

“Just put it in already.” You huffed, wrapping your legs round his waist to bring him closer. You needed him right now. 

“So impatient baby.” He chuckled, tilting his head, “And if it doesn't fit? You know it never fits in the first try.” 

Technically speaking, your husband was correct. Two damn years and you could never take him all in the first go. He had to make you cum at least three times to get you wet enough. But speaking from your horny brain, you did not give a fuck.

“I’ll make it fit.” You said, voice breathy, “Please, Fuma? I’ll be your good girl, I swear.” He groaned at your words, his hips twitching forward slightly as if seeking more of your touch. 

“Well, who am I to deny such a pretty girl?” He purred, hovering above you, his cock heavy and throbbing against your slick folds, the broad head nudging your entrance.  You moaned at the contact, your hips bucking up as if it were a conditioned reflex. 

You could feel the stretch already, just from that initial press, your pussy still fluttering from the slow fingering that had left you open and aching for more. Fuma gripped the base of his cock, guiding it with deliberate slowness, but as he pushed forward, only the tip breached you before resistance met him—your walls clenching tight around the intrusion, too snug even after all his preparation.

Fuma let out a cocky laugh as he took his time, savoring the feeling of your right heat as he slooowly pushed inside. He groaned, low and frustrated, his hips twitching as he tried to sink deeper.

“So fucking small.” Fuma rasped, eyes locking onto yours with a mix of lust and amusement, “Pussy’s so damn small—pretty thing can’t even take half of me, yeah?” 

“F-Fuma slow down!” You gasped, your hands reaching for him, your nails digging into his shoulders as you held on for dear life, “Fuck—hah oh god Fuma too much!” 

“Tch tch.” Your husband clicked his tongue, “I don’t think I’m the problem here darling.” He leaned down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth, “You’re just—” thrust, “too” thrust, “small.” Your body shook like a dandelion in the wind as he forced his fat fucking cock into you, “Fuck she’s gripping me—ahh—like she wants to keep me out.” He rocked forward again, forcing another inch inside, but your body rebelled, muscles fluttering and squeezing in protest, “Does she want me out, my darling?”

You whimpered, hands fisting the sheets, the burn of the stretch mingling with sharp pleasure. Fuma chuckled darkly, pulling back just enough to let you breathe before thrusting shallowly, teasing your entrance with the thick ridge of his cockhead.

“Look at you, all worked up and still too tight for your husband.” His free hand trailed up your thigh, thumb pressing into the soft flesh as he watched your face contort—lips parted, brows furrowed in that exquisite mix of pain and need. “What am I supposed to do with a wife who milks me like this? Can't even fit all the way in without—fuck—a fight.” Fuma loved this part, the way your body yielded inch by inch, proving how perfectly you were made for him, even if it took effort.

You arched your back, trying to ease him in, but he held your hips steady, controlling the pace. “Calm down sweetheart.” His voice was gravelly, “You said you’ll make it fit, so we’re going to make it fit.”

He pumped in and out of that shallow depth, the wet slide of your arousal coating him, but he couldn't bury himself fully—not yet. Frustration edged his teasing, his breaths coming harsher as he ground against you, clit catching the friction of his pubic bone on each nudge.

Finally, the playfulness snapped. With a feral growl, Fuma's hands clamped onto your thighs, fingers digging into the meat of them hard enough to bruise.

He pulled your legs up roughly, folding them back against your chest in one swift motion—the mating press that pinned you open and vulnerable beneath him. Your knees nearly touched your shoulders, pussy splayed wide and exposed, the angle forcing your walls to part just enough. 

“Theeere we go.” Fuma grunted, satisfaction lacing his tone as he aligned himself again. “Now you'll take it all, like the good girl you are.”

Surging forward, his cock speared into you in a single, brutal thrust, bottoming out with a slap of skin on skin. You cried out, the fullness overwhelming—his girth splitting you wide, the head of his dick kissing your cervix in a deep, unyielding press. 

It burned, god did it fucking burn, the stretch bordering on too much, but the pleasure crashed in right after, your pussy clenching greedily around his length. Fuma didn't give you time to adjust; he pulled back almost to the tip and slammed back in, setting a punishing rhythm that rocked your body against the mattress.

“Fuck, yes—feel that? How deep I am now?” He panted, hips snapping forward relentlessly, each thrust driving him balls deep into your core. 

The position kept you locked in place, unable to escape the onslaught, your thighs quivering from the strain as he folded you tighter. His weight bore down, chest pressing your legs further, turning you into a pliant vessel for his cock. He fucked you hard, the bed creaking under the force, your pussy squelching around him with every plunge—wet, obscene sounds filling the room alongside your moans and his grunts.

Sweat slicked his skin, dripping onto your chest as he rutted into you like an animal, chasing that primal need that had been resting in his chest ever since he saw you with a baby in your arms.

“Gonna fill you up.” He mumbled into your ear, lips brushing the shell as he nipped at your lobe, “Pump you so full—hah you’re so tight baby. You want that sweetheart? Wanna have our kids?”

“Fuma!” His words sent heat flooding your veins, your walls fluttering around his pistoning cock, pulling him deeper as if your body agreed, “Fuma fuck! Yes yes yes!” All your senses were gone at this point. 

He shifted his angle slightly, grinding against that sensitive spot inside you with each thrust, the friction on your clit from his body adding layers of sensation. You were lost in it, head thrown back, nails raking down his back as pleasure built relentlessly. Fuma's pace never faltered—rough, demanding, fucking you into oblivion as promised. 

“Take it darling.” His hand slipped between your bodies, fingers finding your clit and rubbing firm circles, pushing you toward the edge, “Take every fucking drop—ahhh god you’re squeezing me so tight.” 

The first orgasm hit you like a freight train, ripping through your core as your pussy spasmed around his cock, milking him in tight pulses. You screamed his name, vision blurring, body convulsing in the tight fold of the mating press. 

Fuma groaned, feeling you clamp down, but he didn't stop—thrusting through it, prolonging the waves until you were sobbing from the intensity. “One more, darling, just one more, I promise.” 

He kept pounding, the overstimulation making every slide of his cock electric, your sensitivity heightening the drag of his veins against your walls. His free hand gripped your hip, holding you steady as he chased his own release, but he focused on you—thumb pressing harder on your clit, hips rolling to hit that spot over and over.

“Fuck baby, go on—milk me dry. Show me how much you want our kids.” The words, combined with the relentless fucking, coiled the tension anew, faster this time, your body already primed.

You shattered a second time, orgasm crashing harder, your pussy gushing around him, soaking his balls as you clenched and released in rhythmic waves. Fuma cursed, the vice of your walls tipping him over. 

With a final, deep thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, cock pulsing as he came—hot spurts of cum flooding your depths, painting your womb white. He ground against you, ensuring every drop stayed inside, his growl vibrating through your joined bodies. 

“Full…….so fucking full for me.”  Fuma had no idea what he was saying, dick and mind already milked to the brim, collapsing forward slightly, still folded over you as aftershocks rippled through both of you.

He stayed like that for long minutes, cock softening inside your bred pussy, plugging his cum deep. Only when your breaths evened did he ease your legs down, kissing your forehead softly as he pulled out.

“Shit.” You sighed as you felt him ease out, leaving you empty. Fuma cupped your cheek in his palm, tilting your face to look at you properly.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Emotionally or physically?” You chuckled, fighting the urge to fall asleep right there and then, “Because emotionally, I won’t accept anything else other than all that for sex after this.”

“All that?” Fuma chuckled, sliding down next to you, warmth radiating off his body, “You sure we’ll even be able to have sex after all that?” 

“Oh shut up.” You laughed, tossing one leg over his to tangle yourself in his grasp, “It takes people at least three attempts to get pregnant.”

“We can be an exception darling.” Fuma laughed, melting into your touch as the lady of the night pulled you both into her arms. 

The two faint lines two weeks later proved you to be the exception, indeed. 

fin. 

divider by @strangergraphics

[courire]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ （ 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗧𝗦 ）───────────

𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 。。𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗎𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗅𝖺𝗐𝗒𝖾𝗋’𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌.

✿f͟e͟a͟t͟ㅤㅤ𝗅𝖺𝗐𝗒𝖾𝗋 !jay ‎ ♥︎ 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 !rea 𝑖𝑛 𝗎𝗇𝗅𝖺𝗐𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 ﹏ humour, romance, fluff !

（ ✉️ ） one two three four five six seven

from, malenaㅤjay smau finally! i’m super excited for this .. also, this is the only written chapter since i wanted to set the scene ^_^

jay notices you before you notice him.

not in a dramatic, slow motion way— more like a ‘that is trouble.’ just a passing glance when the café door swings open and the familiar scent of matcha drifts in before you do.

yeah, you’re late.

he can tell from the way you rush to the counter, hair slightly out of place, bag slipping off your shoulder as you try to order and check your phone at the same time. it’s chaotic. he would rather die than imagine himself that situation.

and jay doesn’t like to brag but he is the embodiment of punctuality of discipline.

he has never been late— not to school, university, work, anywhere— unless we’re talking about the blind dates his grandmother sets him on.

you make payment hurriedly while simultaneously texting someone. he snickers at the almost mess that you are ( although, you do look pretty nonetheless but he doesn’t need to admit that. )

jay just hopes you collect your order and leave.

but then your order gets called and you turn too quickly and slam straight into him.

“oh—shit—sorry—!”

and it happens fast.

too fast, gasps mingling in the air. the lid of your cup pops and suddenly— green, everywhere.

cold matcha soaks into the crisp fabric of his suit jacket, dripping down the front in slow, unforgiving streaks.

it’s quiet, almost like the entire cafe seemed to pause to see how incredibly you’ve fucked up. as if you weren’t having a hard time already— and your day hasn’t even properly started.

worse, he doesn’t even say anything. he just looks down at his charcoal suit— now with wet, green patches— then looks at you.

you freeze for exactly half a second before your brain catches up. “oh my god—i’m so sorry—wait—”

you grab a handful of napkins, dabbing at his jacket uselessly, making it worse, spreading the stain instead of fixing it. “i didn’t see you, i was—god, i’m so sorry—”

jay exhales slowly and you swear you feel anger radiating off him. and by the looks of it, he seems like someone who can have you killed within hours.

“this,” he says, very calmly, much to your surprise. “is brioni,”

you stop, blinking in confusion. “…okay?”

and the silence that follows after is way louder than the sirens going off in your head just a second ago. his scrutinising gaze and you stare back.

because genuinely— what does that even mean?

“brioni,” he repeats, slower this time, like that’s supposed to help, as if to make you understand the gravity of the situation and ruining a brioni suit.

“yeah,” you nod quickly, still patting at his sleeve. “i heard you. i just, uh, don’t know what that is,”

and he genuinely looks thrown off, like someone insulted his life’s worth of hardwork. jay doesn’t get it— how can someone be a complete mess and clueless? there has to be something wrong with you.

“you spilled matcha,” he sighs in utter disbelief and surprise. “on a brioni suit,”

“and i said sorry,” you shoot back, already checking the time on your phone again. “like, multiple times,”

your attention being on your phone and not on the matter at hand is already ticking him off. before he could say another thing, you cut him off, panicking— but not about the suit.

“look, I really have to go,” you mumble, shoving the useless napkins into his hand. “i’ll pay for the dry cleaning, okay? just—”

you glance around, grabbing yet another tissue and a pen from the counter while he watches, slightly stunned, as you scribble something down in messy and rushed handwriting.

and you shove it right into his palm.

“my number,” you say. “text me the price,”

and then, you’re gone. just like that, while he tries to process whatever the fuck just happened.

the bell above the cafe door jingles once as you leave, and the cold air rushes in behind you.

jay stands there, matcha stained, speechless, confused— he looks at the crumpled tissue with your number and lets out a groan.

what a great start to the day.

TAGLIST OPEN !

[istillwishforyouateleveneleven]

web weave finds that made me want to claw my eyes out

[j4eyxn]

GONE GIRL 𑣲⋆ AHN KEONHO

概要 ❀ somewhere in chaos and the cherry red shimmer of her lips, keonho found a girl that he felt his heart beat for in a way he found foreign. in the late night calls and stolen kisses meant for someone else she fell for him hard. somewhere in the moments when she felt whole she realised that she was broken. and in the moments when he had questions about himself that he couldn’t answer, he turned to her for answers. but, he could only wish she looked at him before she was a gone girl.

OR ALTERNATIVELY, ahn keonho wants to be your sweet escape.

⋆˚࿔ FRATBOY!KEONHO + FEM!READER

🌺 15k+ words, angst and comfort, mini fluff, slow-ish burn, toxic situationships (with sean), mentions of underage drinking (do not do it people), yearning, profanity, sean is an asshole (we hate sean), reader is broken and in a fucked up mental state, keonho is down bad (as per usual), mentions of emotional vulnerability and tension, ian cameos…

RIRI’S 注記 randomly thought of this and had way too much fun brainstorming with yhc and my notes app and after teasing it a few times on my insta, it is finally here!!! i’m not usually one for writing fics like these but sometimes you need some angst once in a while so i hope you guys enjoy the fluff warrior trying some new things out, hugs and kisses, mwah!

THE MUSIC WAS BLASTING THROUGH THE SPEAKERS, booming in a way that had you questioning whether you’d leave this party without a burst eardrum. the air carrying cologne and perfume and hints of alcohol from people willing to live in the moment and no care for the consequences the next morning.

and you were there, sitting on a couch god knows how many people made out on, swirling a red cup around that a random girl asked you to hold onto as you watched the night unfold.

you were never really a party girl.

you didn’t like the creeps that hit on you with a date waiting in the corner nor did you like the sight of couples making out in every place you looked. the way parties made the chaos in your head so much louder than it needed to be.

but you sat through it all. the excitement and the bodies that swayed against each other. the acts of intoxication people would either flex or regret. the one person that didn’t seem to focus on what was happening before them.

“need company?”

ahn keonho happened to be them.

he had that smirk he always did, the classic frat boy grin that seemed to be the cherry on top for the stereotypes they claimed they didn’t fit. he just happened to be tolerable.

he was leaning towards you against the arm he had pressed into the cushion, his eyes fixated upon you like you were some mystery that needed solving. you were, maybe. to yourself at least.

the air was all of a sudden thicker.

“no. but i know you’ll stay.”

“how can you be so sure?” he questioned, his grin sitting perfectly on his lips.

“you’re looking at me like you have no intention of leaving.” you murmured, your eyes finding his despite the darkness of the room.

the blue and purple lights outlined his face in all the right places, his stupidly attractive face something you found oddly guilty for being entranced by.

“is that a problem?” he asked once again, rather smug. it was almost like a challenge. a test to see how far he could get with you. a press on one of your buttons.

“what makes you think that?”

“you’re looking at me like it could be.”

“and if it’s not?” you raised an eyebrow.

“then we’ll be the sober ones tonight.” he plopped down next to you, his arm shamelessly draping on the couch behind your head. his hand ghosted over your shoulder, not really there yet but close enough for the both of you to know what this was.

your nose was attacked by the distinct scent of his cologne.

then after a beat of silence.

“why are you alone?” he asked curiously.

“not the party girl.” you replied dryly.

“why are you here?” he turned to look at you.

“friend dragged me along.” you didn’t turn, not yet.

“where is she?”

“probably eating a dude’s face off.”

he paused at the disgust in your tone, amusement crossing his features.

“you not into that?” he raised an eyebrow.

“don’t know what i’m into anymore.” you finally looked at him, resignation in your voice.

“you look like a girl that’s sure of what she wants for herself.” keonho said, tilting his head at you.

“do i?” you asked, more to yourself than to him.

“to me you do.” he looked away.

for some reason, it had this undertone you didn’t really understand.

maybe it was meant to stay that way, unfinished.

“i don’t think i’ve found it yet.”

“we all do eventually.”

“you’re sure of yourself.” you said with a teasing lilt.

“mm-mm, just sure of fate.” he shakes his head, certainty laced in his tone.

“you believe in that?” you raised your eyebrows, seemingly shocked.

ahn keonho believing in fate. the playboy of the century.

you just happened to learn a new thing or two everyday.

“you know you do.” he looked at you like he knew you. and somehow that was worse than your being there at that party.

“just need someone to give me that hope.”

silence fell between you two. what continued to fill the air was the indistinct chatter of fights and laughter. muffled bass from the songs you couldn’t remember the name of playing.

and that undeniable tension between you two that grew quicker than you had intended for.

no one spoke after that.

you could just feel his stare. unwavering.

and you could both feel the beginning of something you weren’t quite sure you were ready for.

KEONHO THOUGHT HE WAS GOING CRAZY. since that party, since whatever was in the air that night, he just saw you everywhere. it was like all of a sudden you were this familiar part of his life and he barely knew you.

but you were always alone.

he saw you on the benches sometimes, drawing in a notebook. alone. he’d find you at the pool before swim practice. alone. he’d find you in the library reading those old books people didn’t touch. the ones that had a cloud of dust if they were hit hard enough.

then he saw seonghyeon with you soon enough. his friend.

it struck him for some reason. every time he saw you two walking together in all the places where you were alone, it made his chest tighten with this feeling he didn’t want to identify.

jealousy.

seonghyeon wasn’t a good guy. he had a bunch of girls lined up, waiting for him, and he played them all. he broke their hearts then moved onto the next.

he never committed to anything serious. feelings were like a game to him. a dirty game. girls knew. they knew he was trouble. everyone did.

yet one smirk had them caught up in his web. and soon enough, someone was asking him what they were while another girl was waiting for their chance.

you didn’t seem to be like those girls to keonho. you were different.

that night at the party. he wasn’t sure what it was about you. maybe it was the fact that you made ahn keonho think about you at night.

he usually didn’t bother himself with girls. when he did, it was just to give them the “five seconds of fame” they wanted. cause being with ahn keonho was like winning the lottery for some odd reason.

though he wouldn’t really date himself.

but he could only think about the cherry red lip gloss you wore. the way it shimmered. the way your hair framed your face in a way that made you look like something to chase after. your solitude.

he just wasn't used to girls being aloof. maybe that’s what was memorable about you.

keonho thought maybe you weren’t someone that would find themselves trapped in seonghyeon’s orbit. he didn’t want you to be.

he didn’t think you were his. he just felt it in the way you looked at him like you knew all the answers to questions he didn’t realise were there.

but you were there, a soft smile on your lips as you looked up at seonghyeon, that charming smirk plastered across his face.

you were going to get hurt. be like every girl he’s ever played. just another one of seonghyeon’s girls he wouldn’t chase after when it was all over. no matter how many times he said you meant something to him.

he would always replace you and the cycle would repeat itself until seonghyeon felt his heart beat for someone.

keonho wondered if that day would ever come.

“thought you’d be here with seonghyeon.”

“hm?” you hummed like you didn’t hear him.

“why are you alone?” he asked, his knee brushing yours as he sat down.

“he’s busy.” of course he was. he was feeding another girl some words he was going to tell you later.

“with what?” he raised an eyebrow. it was a test.

“he’s your friend.” you finally looked at him, your face softer than at that party.

“why do you hang out?” he blurted out.

curiosity killed the cat, they say.

“well, you’re curt.” you muttered, looking at him from your peripheral.

“i asked a question.” he said, rather firm.

“why’s that any of your business, keonho?” you turned to him fully, defensiveness in your tone.

here we go. what excuse were you going to use?

“because i can see it in your eyes.”

“see what?” you were playing dumb.

“that void you’re trying to fill. you think seonghyeon is the answer.” he murmured, more of an accusation than a statement.

you opened your mouth to deny it but nothing fell out. just that stare. he could see it. the way it narrowed like you were fuming then went back to normal like you had accepted it.

part of you knew he was right. but everyone has pride. and you weren’t going to admit it.

even with that soft smile when he saw you two together, it never really reached your eyes. it seemed like something you had to use to prove seonghyeon could change.

despite himself, keonho seemed to care about you in a way words couldn’t define. it wasn’t something you’d be able to tell immediately. it was just there.

he could see it in your eyes and in all the times seonghyeon had his arm around your waist that you weren’t happy. you were trying to be.

but you just weren’t.

and you looked like you were trying to figure keonho out. you couldn’t. he was odd in that way.

“there’s no void.” you finally muttered. you sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than the boy in front of you.

“eh.”

“seriously.” you nodded. even you couldn’t believe your words.

“taking it with a grain of salt.” it sounded like mockery. it probably was.

“don’t talk like you know me.” defense mode back on.

“don’t act like seonghyeon will change for you. trust me. he won’t.” he looked at you once more, your eyes darker. your walls were coming up.

“you don’t know that.” come on, y/n. you’re better than this.

“i know him well enough, y/n,” his voice raised. he could see the subtle shock in your eyes. even he was surprised by himself. “don’t be stupid like everybody else.” he mumbled, looking at his feet.

“why? because i’m different?” you had figured him out, a little.

“to me you are.” there it was. those stupid words that made your heart constrict. the way he spoke like you meant something to him and you had basically just met.

“don’t you have a girl to kiss before swim practice?” you tilted your head at him. he couldn’t know what those words meant to you.

“probably.” now he was being cool.

“is it me?” and you were being curt. he almost choked on nothing.

you?

he thought back to that lip gloss you had on at that party. how many times had seonghyeon kissed it off? maybe you wore a different one just for him.

“hm.” he didn’t know what the right answer was.

“you’re considering it?” you caught him. he was considering it. how would your lips taste?

he’d just ask seonghyeon.

“eh.” now he was trying to be cool.

“you’re weird.” you let out a huff, one that sounded like a laugh, shaking your head.

“you’re weirder.” he tilted his head at you.

“fair.” you pressed your lips in a tight line.

after a beat of silence.

“i know seonghyeon won’t change. i just have hope, that’s all.” he could hear it. that hope. you wanted him to feel something. the odds wouldn’t work in your favour unfortunately.

“don’t get them up then. you’ll hurt yourself.” he knew you weren’t going to look at him when he said that.

so, somehow, his fingers were turning your face to him. one breath and he’d know what seonghyeon got to experience every day.

not now.

“i think i already have.” your eyes were wide. your cheeks dusted light pink. you were flustered. a new look on you.

could keonho be seonghyeon for a day?

“hm. gotta go.” he let go quickly, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder as he sprang up.

he had to go before he felt himself blushing.

“i was right.”

“yeah, about swim practice.”

“no girls?” you asked.

“no girls.” he shook his head.

“liar.” your eyes narrowed playfully.

“kiss you later, y/n.” he winked at you, running off.

“weirdest!” you called out, a smile gracing your lips.

he was grinning too, you just weren’t supposed to see it. but he knew that you knew he was smiling.

seonghyeon was there after all.

but something about you made him think that maybe there was a lot more to the story. seonghyeon was just a mere fraction of it.

YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHY YOU WERE STILL WAITING AROUND FOR HIM. why seonghyeon was still apart of your life. wait! that was another lie. you did know. you had a void. keonho knew it too. you didn’t like his perceptiveness.

seonghyeon said no strings attached. no labels. he was speaking more for himself than he was for you. he knew you’d come back to him each time, desperately. that’s how he liked it. because your constant presence was a guarantee. he didn’t have to question whether you come back or not after an argument but the answer was already there.

he had the easy job. telling you wanted to hear, stringing you along then breaking your heart into pieces. he didn’t care about what mess he’d turn your life into.

it was his satisfaction.

yet somehow you fell victim to his sweet little words and the kisses he was probably giving someone else after school hours. just like you. you were quite used to it. the line “no strings attached.” very used to it actually. way too used to it.

you didn’t know how many seonghyeons have come in and out of your life, destroying every bit of effort you put into reversing the damage of the last. or what you said would be the last. your broken heart was just waiting to take another hit from the next person.

for as long as you remembered, you never had anything serious with boys. the universe hated you in that way. how many times you’ve said, “what are we?” you didn’t know. how many times you tried to get yourself together? you didn’t know.

how many times that you’d felt like a pathetic little idiot? a lot. you didn’t have the numbers.

each time you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let another guy hurt you again, it was another crack in your heart. another blow to the very few remnants of your dignity.

you lost the light in you. a long time ago. you were fucked up. beyond it probably.

you just wished that seonghyeon would give you a definite answer. that maybe it wasn’t really over. maybe he’d kiss you and tell you that he loved you. or maybe it would just be another point to ahn keonho.

one knock on his door. he didn’t answer.

another. maybe he was out.

third, harsh. the door was moving with you.

it was already open. someone was inside.

maybe he just didn’t hear you come inside.

the dorm was a mess. as always.

you didn’t like the silence. as you stepped closer and closer, you could hear it. loud and clear. the laughter, her giggles.

his voice. he was whispering something to her. it felt like déjà vu. you didn’t want it to be real. you really wanted it to be all in your head this time.

the door was open slightly, like they were asking to be caught. you saw it. he was smiling at her. she was on his lap. it wasn’t you. then they kissed. just like he did with you.

you couldn’t bear it.

the tears were falling faster than you could blink. and suddenly your feet were taking control. your breaths were uneven, your cheeks wet with tears you didn’t think would end.

you ignored the pain in your legs, how pathetic you probably looked. you wanted to keep running. you didn’t want to stop until you left it all behind.

you wanted to erase seonghyeon from your memory, from your life.

you wanted to forget how good of a kisser he was, how his words made you run back each and every single time you told yourself that you wouldn’t.

you didn’t have to ask what you were. that was a stupid question. you knew exactly what you were. just another one of eom seonghyeon’s girls.

and just another stupid girl that chased after something that wasn’t ever there.

another point of ahn keonho.

you knew you’d go back to him. you did. seonghyeon worked like that. and you felt so stupid for crying. why waste your tears on him of all people? all it took was one text and you’d be back in his dorm, kissing him till he was all you could think about.

he wasn’t the one you had to change. it was you. you knew that a long time ago. it was easier to ignore it than let it be known.

you were alone. you needed to escape now. just forget about him for the time being.

and maybe break this cycle for once.

THE WATER SLOSHED GENTLY AS YOU MOVED YOUR LEGS, cold on your skin. you’d get used to it. it gets warm just after a little while, right after you forget how the pain felt again. you felt the dry stains of your tears on your cheeks. the pitiful girl you were an hour earlier.

you were just numb. and you also didn’t really know what to think about either. you were praying the swim team didn’t have any practice that day. you just needed to be alone without hearing their annoyingly deep voices they forced. without hearing anything but the water.

keonho crossed your mind for some reason.

you thought about the night at that party. why did he sit next to you? why did he even talk to you to begin with? did you just happen to look like player bait or something?

maybe you looked like the perfect girl to prey on. seonghyeon beat him to it.

but then again, he came to you on the benches. he talked to you. he asked about you. he knew seonghyeon wasn’t good for you. why would he care?

he didn’t come to kiss you. just that casual flirting that added to the tension between you two. you wondered if he even realised it was there. or maybe you just let every interaction with a guy become romantic.

despite yourself, you were curious about him. he intrigued you. frat boys didn’t intrigue you. if anything they irked you out so badly you’d do anything to rid them of their existence.

their stupid red cups and their stupid voices.

you didn’t even know how keonho became one. he didn’t look like the kind to rock a varsity jersey. but, he proved you wrong. the day of the basketball finals. they were all lined up, taking a photo with another one of the trophies they won for the school.

you found him oddly attractive. not that he was ugly. he was just not your type.

then the party. he looked at you like he would go on forever trying to understand everything about you. a boy had never looked at you that way. you were just used to being some eye candy or something. the temporary feeling of being “seen.”

then he looked at you like he knew you and you felt your heart pounding. crazy for a guy that wasn’t your type.

you didn’t know what ahn keonho was. nor did you know what he was to you. he was just ahn keonho. the guy on the basketball team. the guy that looked hot in a varsity jersey. the boy with the fraternity smile and the curiosity in his eyes.

that was all that he was to you. and maybe you’d only ever have small talks that went beyond the surface level once in a blue moon.

“oh, y/n! fancy seeing you here. waiting for me?” the man of the hour, the familiar grin gracing his lips in the way you’ve known best.

god, just kill me.

of course the one day you needed him to get away from all noise it just had to follow you. maybe you were psychic.

“was hoping you wouldn’t be here.” you answered dryly, watching the ripples in the water.

“i’m actually not supposed to be. well, not necessarily.” he sat next to you, his legs sliding into the water.

“what do you mean?” you looked at him.

“not a practice day.” he was already looking at you, leaning back on his arms.

“so?”

“just wanted to get some laps. and well, found something else to keep me busy.” he had a gentle smirk on his face. he was about to piss you off, you thought.

but you couldn’t deny the softness of it. you didn’t like the fact that you could even tell the difference. maybe he didn’t want to make your head explode for once.

“you saw me here?” you raised an eyebrow, your tone slightly shocked.

“well, possibly. but i came for the laps first. you just gave me more reason to stay.” you didn’t like those words. no, let’s rephrase. you didn’t like how much you liked those words.

“i’ll pretend i have significance in your life.” you didn’t want to. wait, why didn’t i want to? fuck! all you could do was pray he didn’t say otherwise.

“you don’t have to pretend.” of course he said that, he’s ahn keonho!

“how exactly?” did you really want to know? not exactly. did you already know? probably. for some reason you felt that hearing it come from his mouth and not your head would make everything worse.

“well, y/n. since you aren’t exactly einstein, i’ll put it for you simply: i actually care about you.” there it was. the way he looked at you. the subtle change in his glance that made you believe him partly. the way his lips softened to this hint of a smile.

did he realise what he was doing?

“you’ve known me for how long?” you questioned, an excuse for him to not be so… caring?

“hey, i know enough to have the tiniest soft spot for you.” he gestured with his fingers, squinting his eyes. part of you couldn’t wrap your head around him having a soft spot for you. another part also wouldn’t let you be convinced that his hypothetical soft spot for you was the tiniest.

“how flattering.” you didn’t even bother hiding your sarcasm.

“girls would ogle if i said that.” the way he said it made you think it wasn’t something he enjoyed. fair. well, who would enjoy being bombarded with heart eyes in every corner they look?

“should i?” you asked softly.

“i like that you don’t.” you hated the way his smile grew. he never stopped making you feel different in a way that was like no other. it made you feel special for once.

“sure.” back to being dry again.

“you were crying.” his eyes traced the tear stains on your cheeks, his hand twitching at his side as if he wanted to touch them.

“mm.” you hummed softly, your eyes fixed on the glittering water. fuck his curiosity. you didn’t want to do that, not then.

“seonghyeon?” who else was capable of crushing you the way he did?

“saw him kissing a girl in his dorm.” you mumbled. it left this bitter taste in your mouth. you hated it. you hated how much you hurt and how much you missed him. how you just took it all. whatever it was you had.

“fuck. are you okay?” he sat up in an instant, his body so much closer to you than you would’ve liked. except you didn’t seem to have much of a problem with it.

his hand hovered over your shoulder, twitching once more with that urge to touch you again. he gave in this time. you hadn’t felt that comforted by someone’s touch.

“i’ll cry if you ask that.” this was you being honest. and raw. you looked in his eyes with nothing but vulnerability. keonho couldn’t break that. he couldn’t break you.

not the way seonghyeon did.

“i’ll answer it myself.” his other hand boldly yet cautiously reached for your chin, turning your head to face him. the blue pool lights illuminated his face so perfectly, almost like at that party. just… better.

you didn’t want to look away. you didn’t want to pull away either. you liked this, whatever it was. the magnetic pull you felt, quite subtle but something that added to the tension between you two that became harder and harder to ignore.

“thanks.” you whispered softly, your eyes boring into his.

somehow without you realising it, your hand found his. your fingers lacing with his like it was something natural. so natural and so right.

“i’ll leave if you want to take laps.” you murmured, breathy and barely audible, so soft like any noise would ruin that moment.

you didn’t want to leave.

“mm-mm. stay.” and you were hoping he wanted you to stay. he moved closer, slightly. just enough to make your heart race.

“why?” did you really want to know why?

“gonna take laps with you.” not what you were expecting. and the way he said it made you think that it wasn’t exactly up for discussion.

“how?”

“well, not laps.”

“then what?” before you could finish asking, he jumped in the pool, splashing water all over you. you gasped the second the cold droplets hit your skin, your body freezing.

“keonho!” you called out, your shoulders tense.

“what?” he asked innocently, looking up at you with his wet hair and droplets dripping from his face.

“the water is freezing.”

“i can make it warmer.” he said with a smirk.

“please don’t piss in here.” you whined gently.

“not the method i was thinking of.” he moved closer to you, grabbing your hands.

“so?”

“come.” he said, no arguments, no pleading. just a simple “come.” you hated how much you wanted to listen. don’t go in.

“you’re joking.” you wished he was but the both of you knew he wasn’t.

“completely serious.”

“don’t like swimming.” you shook your head.

“i’ll make you love it.” he held your hands close to his wet face.

“don’t wanna mess my clothes up.” another excuse.

“they’ll dry.” then your hands were cupping his cheeks, his on top of them. his hands were surprisingly warm for someone who was in icy water.

“my hair.”

“wet hair would be gorgeous on you.” that got to you. the easiness of it. that undertone. you could feel the sincerity. he truly did believe that. you felt like letting him see just how gorgeous you’d be.

“you just don’t stop, hm?” you raised an eyebrow. no, he didn’t.

“not till i get what i want.” it had an edge of something. possessiveness maybe? certainty. was he sure of getting you right where he wanted you?

“what do you want?”

“to swim with you, so come.” he tugged your hands, bringing you closer to the edge. just one more tug and you’d be inside.

whoops!

he pulled you once more, your body sinking beneath the surface just for a few seconds, bubbles surrounding you.

you could already feel the goosebumps.

“keonho!” you wiped your face, scowling at him.

“hm?” he hummed like he didn’t hear you, grinning like a cheshire cat.

“it’s freezing.”

“told you i can make it warmer.” he murmured, moving closer to you until he was just one breath away.

“how?” it was a test. a mere challenge. what would he do when given the chance?

“like this.” his arms slid around your waist, holding your body against his until your chests touched. now he’d definitely know how fast your heart was beating.

you just hoped he wouldn’t say anything about it.

“don’t think it’s working.” that was lie. you didn’t like how his embrace did indeed make you feel so much warmer.

“it can make other things warm too.” he squeezed your sides gently, a feeling you didn’t realise you needed until now.

“like what?” your arms wrapped around his neck daringly, your head tilting to the side almost as if it would make you see him better.

“hearts.” he just had to say that.

“cheesy.”

“always.” he smiled once more, swaying with you gently.

you stayed quiet for a bit. just allowing yourself to be free with him. no tension, no stiffness. just letting go for a bit. and for the first time, you felt so at ease. whole. you felt so whole.

you hadn’t felt whole like that with a guy. not that you could ever recall or remember. you didn’t want to imagine another time you ever felt this way. you liked that it was your first with him because keonho was different.

in this moment you couldn’t tell yourself that he had any frat boy bone in him. it was a different keonho.

one you didn’t really know of. just one that was sweeter than you had thought. gentle. surprisingly good at taking your mind off things.

weirdly cheesy for a “player.”

your hair clung to your face like it didn’t plan on letting go any time soon, your clothes seemingly doing the same thing. whatever remains of your heartbreak prior had washed away, your body soaked with another feeling.

you looked up at him again. he was already staring. your eyes darted away, avoiding his gaze. he didn’t say anything, just left out a soft huff that sounded similar to a chuckle. then your head was on his chest before you could even think about anything else. he did that. he wanted it. you did too.

you didn’t even need to question it. not with the way his racing heart’s rhythm matched your own. the way it slowed as you sank deeper into his arms.

you didn’t understand why you liked this. why it felt so out of this world. so unreal. it wasn’t anything like you’d ever experienced. nothing like what seonghyeon could ever bring to the table. but you didn’t want it to be what you were thinking.

not while you were crying over someone else.

but, when your hands laid on his chest along with your head and you sniffed out the faint scent of his cologne that hadn’t yet washed away, you felt it.

somewhere in your heart, keonho was there. against your will. without warning. keonho was waiting there. he was waiting in line. you just had to give him the keys to the lock.

“thank you.” you whispered, not looking at him. just focused on the water’s surface and sloshes and how he held you there. not trapped or loose. just secure enough for you to forget about your worries for a moment.

“for what?” his fingers were threading through your wet strands. he knew exactly what you would say. you just happened to know that he took pleasure in hearing you tell him what he wanted to hear.

“helping me forget about him. first time i’ve felt whole in a while.”

“don’t say thank you. it’s my specialty.” he said, a hint of cockiness in his tone. of course he’d do that. he was ahn keonho. he needed to toot his horn every once in a while. you just assumed it was an instinct.

“so i’m not the first to receive these services?” you lifted your head up, scrutinizing him. you wanted to feel special, just for a second. just one. in a way that seonghyeon wouldn’t let you. you wanted to know what it’d be like.

“oh no, of course you are.” it was the way he said it. like there was just no possible way that he could have ever made anyone feel this way, that anyone else could take the place you didn’t realise you had in his life until now.

“of course?” you couldn’t hide the shock in your tone, your eyebrow raising.

“of course.” he insisted, his eyes never leaving your own. he had this habit of insisting on things. especially with you. he insisted on a lot of things. one of the reasons why you couldn’t bring yourself to see him as a liar.

a lot of the things he insisted on were true.

you just trusted him enough.

and you didn’t like how easy it felt to trust his word. for him to be so convincing just by repeating the same words a third time.

“so i do have significance in your life?” it was more of a question than a statement, a hint of hope creeping in. you didn’t want to sound like someone craving validation but you were already desperate for it the second you let seonghyeon into your life.

the both of you knew you wanted and needed it.

“yeah.” he assured, almost like he knew exactly what you were thinking. it made you feel sure. you didn’t know why you had doubts anyway. maybe you were finally starting to figure out your feelings for once.

“don’t have to pretend with you?” you tilted your head.

“not like how you do with him. just be… you.” he knew it. he knew it was all a cover up. a facade. he knew you so well and it had only been weeks. weeks. it intrigued you. but it also made you feel seen.

everything you wished seonghyeon would show you, he did. everything you need seonghyeon to give you, he did. keonho did it all without being begged or being guilted into it.

he did it all willingly. he wanted you in his arms just for a little while and he just wanted to see that pain fade away. even if it was just temporary. that was what he wanted.

that was all you needed to realise that maybe he was worth it. maybe ahn keonho was worth falling for.

“fine.”

you laid your head back on his chest and watched the stars dust the sky. you had to get home soon. you didn’t really care. he’d probably walk you home without discussion. you wanted that anyway.

you just wanted to enjoy whatever that was. just feeling close to being loved. maybe you’d forget this feeling in the morning or maybe it’d cloud your dreams. maybe you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night cause you were debating whether or not you made the smart decision to have feelings for two people at once.

most likely all of the above if you’re lucky enough to forget how it felt the next day.

you surely were going to be unlucky. very unlucky.

THE POOL INCIDENT BROUGHT YOU CLOSER THAN YOU HAD THOUGHT. more like than keonho had thought for the most part. keonho wasn’t used to the concept of actually being close to a girl. it was usually just desperate attention seekers who thought that being with him was like getting a million bucks.

keonho couldn’t ever bring himself to understand how anyone could ever want to be next to him so badly. he didn’t think he was worth all the heart eyes and the giggles. they never lasted long anyway. a lot of his relationships, if you can even call them that, simply centered around being the news of the week which would die down eventually and find its place in something we call history.

he didn’t care. keonho didn’t care about a lot of things actually. it never bothered him. he just felt like it was stupid and a tiny little boost to his ego. but you were the first girl he truly looked at. actually had conversations with. felt genuinely concerned for. cared for. you were all of those firsts.

keonho wasn’t one for change but for you, he felt himself doing just that. he stopped kissing girls by the locker rooms before practice. he also stopped giving his jacket to every other girl that stared at it a second longer.

he just let his old habits die. unconsciously. he felt the difference one day. the day he caught you going back to your old ways.

it was a friday, five in the evening. he had just finished practice. he wanted to see you. he felt that want growing each and every day. faster than he would’ve liked. and he started to realise that tension and what it was doing to him. how it was altering his mind in a way that kept him up at night thinking about you.

he went to your usual spot, the small bench behind some of the classrooms close to the pool with this huge tree you named fern. why did you name it fern? cause you were too lazy to think of an actual name. why did you name it to begin with? because you were bored. you told him fern was one of the only “friends” you could vent to. first it was only. then keonho came around and that changed.

more change.

he was looking forward to seeing you, most likely sketching a small doodle in your book with headphones plugged in, seemingly unaware of whatever was going on around you.

but then he heard that voice. the same voice that was going to crush your heart with no mercy. seonghyeon. then he heard you. one peak and he saw you both kissing. full on make out.

keonho wasn’t supposed to feel anything. that wasn’t a part of the script. but he did. as much he didn’t want to or even told himself not to, he did anyway. and it stung. the only thing that ever stings are his scrapes on the rough concrete of the pool walls. not stupid feelings.

yet he still felt hurt. for the first time ever. because of a girl. another first for ahn keonho. and somehow, another win for you, y/n l/n.

he was gone before you could even blink, that anger or disappointment—whatever it was—sending him into overdrive.

maybe this is what you felt like, seeing seonghyeon and that girl. that’s the pain you felt, just a hundred times worse. worse enough to have you making out with him when you should have been moving on from him. with keonho instead. selfish, he knew that. you weren’t even his. but for some reason, in that moment when his feelings seemed to be controlling his body, that’s what he felt he needed.

KEONHO WAS AVOIDING YOU. it was final. something that you didn’t even have to question. since the afternoon you decided to make the extremely idiotic decision to make out with the one guy that was out to make your life hell, he hadn’t been talking to you.

you didn’t know why exactly.

you just felt it shift somewhere in the air. shorter replies, physical distance between you two. his eyes always locked on something else that wasn’t your face. and when you felt him look for just a second, it was gone. he’d always stay.

something was wrong.

you don’t know why you thought that seonghyeon was actually being sensible for once. when he texted you to come to your usual spot. you hated how you thought you were special for him remembering, but anyone that knew you briefly or just saw you around often would know that the huge tree graced with pink blossoms was your second home.

then came the apology. you heard that a couple times from him. the logical part of your brain would deny him more and more as the occurrences continued. that ticked him off and you knew it. but when you thought you had finally won, finally stopped yourself from falling for him. finally broke the cycle. he would hold you in his arms and stare at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

you knew he’d done the same with other girls, but for some reason that need to feel special and validated overpowered all kinds of logic.

then you were making out with him again and you knew you’d be crawling back.

that’s how it always goes. and you hated it. more than you loved it. god, you fucking hated it so much.

but it felt weird the last time. it felt wrong. it always felt wrong. but it felt like you were committing a crime you’d get big jail time for.

you pulled away from him before it could even start. seonghyeon didn’t say anything. he just looked at you. not like you were his or like the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. but like something that had no purpose. something he didn’t need anymore.

for the first time it didn’t hurt. you didn’t care. because keonho was clouding your judgment. your thoughts. and your heart too. and you needed him at that moment.

you ran. as far away as you could. like you didn’t want seonghyeon to find you again. you wanted to go somewhere where only keonho would find you. only keonho could make you happy. only he could have your heart.

you had feelings. you actually had feelings. you didn’t want them to be the kind of feelings you harboured for seonghyeon. the kind that were just there in your heart to prove a point to your head. the kind that you just needed to keep there to feel sane. normal.

these feelings didn’t feel that way.

they felt oddly real. you didn’t know if it was right to hate or love them. you didn’t know what to do with them. maybe it was just better to stick to seonghyeon.

he was easier to deal with. your feelings for him were easier to deal with. you knew what to expect each time and you knew what to tell yourself to feel each time. and what to do. it was a routine.

keonho was unpredictable. different. his feelings weren’t something you knew or were sure of. he just did things that made you question if you were truly sane. you liked it. but you couldn’t love it.

just tell yourself you love hyeon, y/n. it’s easier that way.

maybe keonho saw you guys kissing. maybe. you hoped he didn’t. you prayed that it was just because seonghyeon bragged about it like an asshole. not because keonho actually saw.

on the days when you and keonho didn’t talk, you thought back on that day. on that kiss with seonghyeon. you didn’t really like it. then you remembered that keonho was right about you.

and you’d go back to wishing that was keonho in his place.

why? because somehow you were actually feeling something for someone.

and it was ahn keonho of all people on this planet.

KEONHO FELT LIKE A SEONGHYEON CLONE. okay, maybe not a clone. maybe like a project. okay that’s definitely the wrong word for it. hmm, what was i like, huh? a carbon copy of hyeon then. yeah, a carbon copy of hyeon.

since keonho saw that ungodly sight—he was being dramatic—he chose to ignore you. he’d talk to you sometimes, just to see your face again and hear your voice without forgetting it but it didn’t erase the feelings he had.

keonho liked you. that had probably been established the day he saw you at that house party. he did. but he was feeling so much more than that that he couldn’t even explain it. he’d find himself on google sometimes, researching about his feelings like he was trying to diagnose himself with something. love.

he didn’t like what his search history had become. he was even on reddit. reddit!

why can’t i stop thinking about her?

what to do when you miss a girl a lot?

how to tell if you’re in love with someone?

do i love her?

yeah, he was gone.

keonho wasn’t a love person. he didn’t do those things. maybe he’d say it sometimes to girls that wouldn’t leave him alone but that didn’t mean he meant it. the words felt empty when he said them. so incredibly empty. they felt meaningless.

and sometimes he wondered if he could ever say those words and feel something. he prayed that day would come. he didn’t know why at first.

but as he lay awake every night, thinking of your face and your voice. your hair. your smile. the aching desire to feel your touch just once more. that day at the pool.

he realised that he wanted to feel it for you.

but that was impossible. seonghyeon was there. and keonho was probably just some coping mechanism to you. you never really showed him any signs of reciprocation. not even the tiniest hint of feelings. he was just someone that would try to snap you out of your stupidity with some eye contact and advice with a hint of flirt from time to time.

so what did he do?

he dated girls. a bunch of them. just to fill in that place where you laid. that large part of his heart he didn’t even know was there.

at first he was extremely reluctant, he was probably always going to be. but his feelings were getting so much stronger than he could control. and each and every single time you came to him to talk just for a little while, he got so much closer to the edge of risking it all that he just had to push you away for his sake and your own.

he needed some kind of distraction. because if he had nothing but a pool and a basketball and his stupid friends, that growing want for you was soon going to fuck him up. and you. and possibly mess with the balance of the universe.

those relationships didn’t really last long. his record was four weeks. it was all the same recycled bullshit over and over again. it made him wonder if he was aromantic or if those girls were just full of shit. then he thought of you and realised that they were just shit.

the same “i love you” texts after everything. the concern that came when he decided the break up was nearing. the begging to wear his varsity jacket at his games and the “cute” stories on instagram.

being with those girls in public felt like a humiliation ritual. he hated it so much. so fucking much. each time he kissed their cheeks and held their hands, he wished it was you. every single time he gave them a back hug in front of their friends to “seal the deal” it just made it worse.

and there was a time he saw you. he was holding another girl’s hand while she had her head on his shoulder. she was rambling about something he couldn’t be bothered to care about. he’d just listen enough to know when to hum and be “happy” for her.

you were alone this time. you looked a little different. no cherry red lip gloss. just a soft pink one. no bangs framing your face, just some waves that bounced perfectly with each step. your outfits barely changed but it was enough for him to tell the difference.

you looked so unlike yourself. so soft, gentle. like you were trying hard to be something you were not. you’d only ever do that if there was some part of your life you were trying to leave behind. he knew you well enough to know that was the reason. the only reason.

you looked at him for a second, then at her. and he saw something flicker in your eyes quickly. hurt. yeah, that’s what it looked like. it faded quickly but he didn’t stop looking. then you looked back at him again. longing. you looked like someone who desperately missed a person that was right in front of them.

you stared a little longer that time. almost like you wanted him to realise it. like you wanted him to run to you and pull him in his arms while you told him all the secrets you locked away. and he almost did.

he let go of his girlfriend’s hand and almost sprang up.

but you turned away, walked faster like staying there would have made you do something you would’ve regretted. or maybe you just thought keonho would regret it.

but keonho wanted you. he needed you like air. and he hated what he became because of his feelings. this stupid “player” trying to rid himself of the love he felt for a girl trapped in an endless cycle of pain.

he was hurting you and hurting himself. that was worse than losing any swim comp. worse than missing a game-winning shot.

he was losing himself for you. he was watching you lose yourself for a guy that didn’t care. and he needed to get you back.

he was gone.

but he didn’t want you to be a gone girl.

not before he got his seat at the table.

SEONGHYEON THIS, SEONGHYEON THAT. why was he still in your life? you’d ask yourself that every single day but when you thought you had the answer to it, you didn’t. he was just there. something to fill the void and something to get your mind off keonho. well, he was originally supposed to fill the void. then you actually grew to feel something for him. attachment. then keonho rolled around, showing you what it’s actually like to be loved and you haven’t stopped thinking about him since. haven’t stopped wondering what his girlfriends were bringing to the table.

wondering if he’d ever ask you to be his. you’d just tell yourself if he really wanted to, he would have done that a long time ago even with seonghyeon being there. would you have dropped to your knees crawling to him or seonghyeon? you didn’t know. not at first. but as time went on, you realised you would have indeed ran to keonho if you got the chance. too late, maybe.

you still had those feelings for seonghyeon. the ones that made you feel like you couldn’t live without him. the same very ones that also made you feel like he was a good person with a good heart he didn’t know how to use yet. you wanted to be the test subject. the first experiment. first and last.

but as time went by, you started questioning if there was really a future with him. if seonghyeon was ever worth your time. if there was even a point in him still being in your life when keonho existed. but you’d kiss him and even when part of you didn’t like it like you used to, you felt that attachment. that part of you that couldn’t let go of seonghyeon even when you tried.

you weren’t trying hard enough.

“hyeon.” you asked softly, twisting the hem of his shirt between your fingers.

“yeah, baby?” he didn’t look at you, just stilled his hand where it was on your waist. you didn’t like how he called you baby. with this faux sweetness which seemed to be a feeble attempt at ending the conversation before it could even start.

he knew what you were going to ask. what are we? or some bullshit like that.

“i can’t do this anymore.” not what he was expecting, worse actually.

“you saw us, didn’t you. it didn’t mean anything.” his grip on your waist tightened by a fraction, the words tinged with this edge you didn’t like. that look on his face.

he was gaslighting you. well, he was about to.

“you say that all the time.” you let go of his shirt, pulling away from him. but he didn’t let you move, tugging you back to him.

“cause it’s true.” he muttered, his eyes narrowing. you hated it so much, his touch. something you used to crave now disgusted you. it made your skin crawl.

“then why are you always with another girl?” you got up off his lap by luck, his hands falling at his sides. he didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at you like you were the bad guy.

“because i need space. you’re clingy and you get all sentimental and emotional about everything.” emotional? all you wanted was to be loved and that seemed to be a character flaw in seonghyeon’s book.

“it’s called having feelings.”

“i told you no strings attached.” he looked up at you, knowingly. he was right. for the first time, you couldn’t argue with that. you let him walk into your life knowing fully well what it would do to you.

“so i was just some game to you? you feel nothing for me?” but, it still hurt. your eyes burned with the realisation, your eyes fluttering to keep it together. you weren’t going to cry in front of eom seonghyeon and give him the satisfaction of successfully breaking you he wanted.

“yeah, you were, what else was it supposed to be?” he raised his eyebrows like he couldn’t think of what else you could’ve possibly been.

“real, maybe?” you hated how your voice cracked, how the realisation was settling in faster than you would’ve liked. you were simply just a placeholder. something he’d run to when no one else was around.

and he didn’t care about you. he just told you what you wanted to hear because facing the reality of the situation was far more complicated than feeding into your fantasies.

“big things you’re asking for.”

“wanting basic love and affection are big things?”

“expecting it from me is. you know how i am. don’t make me feel bad for you chasing something that was never there.” that was your breaking point. the tears balanced on your waterline, your eyes fluttering in an instant once more like an instinct. it was.

“you’re unbelievable.” you choked out, running a frustrated hand through your hair. you weren’t mad at him, not anymore, you were mad at yourself for staying. for settling for less. for letting him walk over you and have his way with you.

“no, you’re just pathetic. go beg for validation and some cuddles from someone else.” he shrugged, his words humiliating.

“you were stringing me along.” you whispered, a broken whimper. you couldn’t hide the betrayal that you felt, the sadness.

you wasted so much time wishing for something you’d never get. he was never going to give you what you wanted and that was final. you realised that a long time ago. but it made it easier to pretend that it wasn’t true because that meant you had a reason to let yourself stay. to hope. to let him kiss you over and over.

“only told you what you wanted to hear, baby. you stayed on your own.” he shook his head, lifting a finger.

“you’re an asshole.” you tried to sound angry, tried to sound strong. but it came out small. weak. that’s what he made you. fragile. god, eom seonghyeon was the last person you had ever wanted to see you like this.

“tell me something i don’t know.” he crossed his arms over his chest nonchalantly, seemingly unbothered by you.

“it’s over. we’re done.” you grabbed your things in a rush, blinking away some more tears, hurrying out the room.

“mm.” he hummed casually, watching you leave with this sarcastic smirk plastered across his face.

the second you were out of that classroom, it all came crashing in. the tears streamed down your face with no end nearby, your vision blurred. your chest heaved with short gasps and broken sobs, your body slumping against a locker.

in that moment, you were thinking of keonho. of his many warnings, of his touch. the way your heart skipped a beat at least once whenever he was around. how he treated you like no other. keonho would’ve held you in his arms and told you it would be okay if he was with you.

you thought of your feelings. who your heart was truly beating for. it wasn’t seonghyeon. it probably never was seonghyeon. it was keonho. he made you feel like you were living in another world. with his dumb jokes and his oddly perfect ways of bringing you comfort.

you couldn’t think of anything else. just about how pathetic you were and how much you were yearning for that stupid frat boy.

i need you, keonho.

IT WAS A FRIDAY SO YOU COULD BE ALONE AT THE POOL. no noise or boys. just you. though you wished keonho was there. usually he would’ve been in the pool by now but there seemed to be no sign of him whatsoever. maybe he was still avoiding you.

you somehow managed to drag yourself over to the pool even after sobbing out every bit of energy within you. you just felt drained. numb. your nose was probably red, along with your eyes. you weren’t exactly the prettiest crier.

you heard some bubbles and kicks in the water that were not far away from you. someone was swimming. you didn’t realise that you weren’t alone. it then suddenly dawned upon you that keonho probably wasn’t the only person that swam in this pool after hours. how embarrassing would it be if a random found you disturbing their peace with your tears? extremely.

“y/n?” to think you thought ahn keonho was not the only one swimming in this pool on friday evenings. nope, you were wrong. only keonho would do this stuff expecting you to be there with him.

he immediately pushed himself out of the water, sitting beside you. you didn’t really want him to see just how incredibly wrecked you were but the second you lowered your head, his fingers were already grabbing your chin.

“look at me.” the single command was enough to make your knees go weak. even though you felt reluctant, you looked at him anyway. you hadn’t been this close to him in weeks.

not since he filled out his schedules with a new girlfriend every week. it’s like he was trying to keep you away from him. yet the way he came to your side with so much urgency made you think that he was waiting for a moment to be with you.

“it’s over.” you whimpered, feeling the tears rushing back again. his features softened in an instant, his grip loosening.

“oh, y/n.” even though he was soaked, he lifted you up onto his lap, burying your face into his chest. this was all that you needed. and somehow it made the tears fall even quicker. you didn’t even know if you were crying over seonghyeon anymore or if it was just your emotions.

you didn’t really care.

“it’s okay. it’ll be okay, i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere.” he shushed you gently, his arms slung around your body, one hand stroking your hair while the other held you close to him. you held onto him like a lifeline, your body shaking with each sob.

at first you weren’t particularly fond of how good he was at making you feel better but then you were convinced you wouldn’t be able to live without him. his reassuring words, his touch that made you feel like you were being shielded from the world.

“i won’t let anyone hurt you. not seonghyeon or anyone else. not again.” the certainty of his words, the protectiveness. no one ever said those things to you. no one ever made you feel like they could be your safe space. your sanctuary. but he did and that made every second you spent with him worth it all.

“i don’t deserve you.”

“no, you deserve it all, y/n. don’t ever doubt that.” you found yourself being unable to defy him. his clarity. you thought he knew what you deserved better than you did. he probably did. and it was probably better to keep it that way.

you didn’t say any more. just waited for the cries to subside. for the pain to fade slowly. and you just let him hold you.

because ahn keonho knew how to make you forget the pain.

KEONHO KNEW HOW TO PUT UP A STRONG FRONT. how to mask his feelings without anyone truly knowing how he felt. maybe that’s why he was able to be a frat boy. frat boys didn’t need to show their feelings. he didn’t like to be read like an open book because that meant he was exposed. he hated being exposed. it was weird. it freaked him out. so when you came to the pool, bawling your eyes out because of his dick friend, he had to do just that.

keonho watched seonghyeon hurt girls for a while. he stopped telling him to fix his ways because he wasn’t ever going to listen. he knew it was wrong. he knew it was fucked up. but when he watched the effects of his actions on you, it made his blood boil. it flicked a switch within him.

he made girls feel this way. it wasn’t just you. it was all the girls that thought seonghyeon was capable of love. the girls with hopes higher than the clouds and a fragile heart. the girls he made lose their smile and their hope for love. he did that all and he’d do it again a million times. it was just different seeing it for himself.

and all of a sudden he felt this primal urge to give seonghyeon a piece of his mind.

“what you did to y/n wasn’t cool, you know?” keonho said, low and deliberate. seonghyeon didn’t once look up from his phone, a small smirk on his lips.

“she came crying to you about it?” he asked in a way that sounded mocking, chuckling.

“does it matter?” keonho narrowed his eyes at seonghyeon’s laughter, an edge to his tone.

“still pathetic as ever.” he shook his head, scoffing under his breath.

“don’t talk about her like that.” keonho’s voice raised slightly, his fists starting to clench.

“since when did you care about her?” seonghyeon looked up when he heard the anger in keonho’s voice he was trying to conceal, raising his eyebrows.

“that doesn’t matter.”

“well, she wasn’t that interesting anyway. she was so clingy and just followed me around like a lost puppy.” he shrugged, focusing his eyes back down on his phone but keonho grabbed it swiftly, causing him to narrow his eyes slightly as well.

“she cares about you.” keonho’s tone softened at the mention of you, his fists unclenching at the slightest.

“like an idiot. she was nothing to me. i just kept her there cause she’d always come back.” his face scrunched up slightly, his lack of empathy very evident. keonho hated the way seonghyeon spoke about you. like you were something to discard, something he’d kept close for safety.

“you’re an ass, dude.” keonho’s thick eyebrows knitted together tightly, that edge quickly finding its way back to his voice—sharper. he didn’t want to show just how pissed off he was but seonghyeon made that harder than it needed to be.

“i know what i am. and she must know how weak and gullible she is too.” he smirked once more, his voice laced with sarcasm. keonho’s hands balled into tight fists again, digging them into the bench to hold himself back.

“don’t talk about her that way, seonghyeon.” he warned, cold and protective, his eyes piercing into seonghyeon’s.

“or what? gonna fight me over it? over a loser you wouldn’t have pitied if you weren’t sober that night?” he jeered, a jab that left keonho silent for a few seconds. it was true, if keonho was absolutely wasted that night the outcome would’ve been completely different.

but he was glad he saw you. more than that. it was just a what if. keonho saw you and he felt something he didn’t before. some stupid hypothetical wasn’t going to make him feel ashamed.

“she’s more than that to me.” he retorted, his voice slightly losing its edge, the intensity of his feelings still dark in his eyes. it was getting harder and harder to not wipe that smirk off his face with a dirty blow.

“right because she was just your company. just someone to flirt with. so much more, hm?” he sneered smugly, letting out a yelp when keonho yanked on his collar tight enough to rip his shirt.

“i said don’t talk about her like that.” he warned once more through gritted teeth, his face a breath away from seonghyeon’s, his voice rough and icy.

“oo, feisty.” he snickered, taking everything keonho gave him like keonho was the villain.

then.

“keonho! what are you doing?” your eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of his fist swinging forward right toward seonghyeon’s face.

they both turned to you, keonho’s face instantly softening to something guilty while seonghyeon’s smirk only grew wider. the two guys that had a place in your heart, right in front of you, about to tear each other’s faces apart.

it was something about the way keonho looked at you, how he suddenly stumbled back when seonghyeon pushed harshly like he wasn’t in control anymore. his jaw wasn’t taut, his fists weren’t balled up tight enough to show his veins. his eyes lost that darkness.

he was sort of bare. vulnerable maybe.

you hadn’t ever seen keonho that angry. you knew he hated how much seonghyeon treated you like shit but you didn’t think he’d go to war for you. or even beat him up for it. it pulled on some of your heartstrings.

seonghyeon just stared at you like how he did that day. you didn’t even want to look at him, you couldn’t bear to. no matter what feelings you still had inside, you just couldn’t. not when he’d let keonho bust up his face to be the victim of something he started. to be someone you would pity. that’s what he wanted.

you understood it now. and it made you sick to your stomach.

but at that moment, you were mad at him. mad at keonho for getting into a fight that didn’t need to happen. he could’ve gotten kicked off the swim and basketball team. suspended. for you. you didn’t want to be that for him. someone he’d get into trouble for. especially if you weren’t really anything but friends.

what if he got hurt badly? what if they both hurt badly? you didn’t want to be the cause of that. not over your stupidity or the empathy you wished you didn’t carry.

“y/n, it’s no-” keonho shook his head, pleading softly but was cut off by the lack of expression on your face. you grabbed his wrist, dragging him away until you were far enough to not see seonghyeon again.

you let go, your arms crossed over your chest.

“why?” you interrogated, your jaw clenched.

“he said shitty things about you.” he murmured.

“he says shitty things all the time.”

“i couldn’t just sit by and let him say them.” he raised his voice, defensive. you went silent, avoiding his gaze.

“why? why couldn’t you just leave it?” you finally asked, more desperate. accusatory. you were upset with him. upset with how he chose to lose his temper and sense of control for you.

“what’s up with you, y/n? he’s full of shit.” he fumed in frustration, his eyebrows furrowing tightly.

“and i know that. you were going to bear the consequences of my actions.”

“i’d do it a million times for you.” his face softened to something blank. with the softest hint of something you hoped for yourself. love. you could deny it, lie through your teeth but it was there. you just didn’t know why.

the way he said it. like you meant everything to him. that was what you needed all this time. you only came to that realisation when you felt his words disarm you. you never let anything disarm you.

“keonho, don’t say that-”

“i mean it. he doesn’t deserve you. this world doesn’t.” he shook his head, firm. yet it still sounded so gentle.

“i-”

“no, let me finish. let me be honest with you.”

“why?” you asked again, faint this time.

“because i have feelings for you, y/n. for the first time i can actually look at a girl and say my heart beats for her. i’m glad it’s you. i just, i didn’t want those girls, i only wanted you,” he whispered, taking a step closer to you. then he paused.

“i only dated them because i couldn’t watch you go off with him. it was supposed to be me. i wanted you to need me. i needed that. and i’ve been needing you for weeks. more than i think i should. and i just can’t let you go through that. not when i’m right here willing to show you how to be loved.” he stopped until he was right in front of you, his hands sliding up your face slowly. you grew to love his touch. the warmth of it, how he held you like something precious he didn’t want to break.

he confessed. the worries, the hypotheticals in your head, the confusion. it was all soothed. you questioned his feelings for you many times, the times he held you in that pool like nothing else mattered. how he was just always there. it was undeniable. he did feel for you.

and it scared you.

“i-keonho.” you stammered, giving into his touch.

“i don’t want you to say anything, y/n. don’t. it’d make it hurt less. i just wanted you to realise that i’m here. i have been and i always will be even if there’s no one else to run to.” he caressed your cheeks, his forehead slowly pressing against your own. you closed your eyes, not saying anymore.

then your lips found his own, soft and warm, a hand grabbing your waist gently as your fingers tangled up in his hair.

you had kissed seonghyeon like this multiple times but this was different. you felt whole. you felt like staying in this moment forever. you didn’t want to let go. not with keonho. not with him. he made you feel brand new. free.

and in that moment you truly realised just how much you wanted him. and just how much you feared for your life at the thought of even doing this a second time.

you pulled away, your hands stopping on his chest. you didn’t look at him because if you did the tears wouldn’t have stopped.

“i can’t.” your voice trembled slightly, your head shaking. you could. you were just scared to lose him.

“what?” he asked softly, lifting your chin up gently.

“i can’t do this.” you didn’t look in his eyes, you couldn’t. not when you could feel the burning of hot tears at the corners of your eyes.

“why?” he asked once more, louder. sharp. frustrated. he was hurt. this was him being vulnerable. he was never vulnerable. that made it hurt more.

“i just… can’t.” you said weakly, a poor excuse. you weren’t convinced by your own words, looking down in shame.

“you can, y/n. we both know it. you can be free with me. you can let me love you.” he held both of your cheeks in his hands, forcing you to look at him again. his eyes were glossy and he sounded so hopeful. god, why did he have to be so good to you?

“i can’t, keonho. not with my feelings.” you whimpered, your lip quivering as you tried to fight off the tears. but they fell anyway.

“just want me too. you kissed me. you wanted this. just stay.” he wiped your tears away, blinking back his own with a sniffle, pleading. this was him raw. exposed. no filter, no hiding. this was keonho, truly.

this was him when he needed someone. when he didn’t want to put up a strong front because that meant putting his feelings aside and he couldn’t do that. not when he wanted you.

“i can’t do that to you, keonho.” you shook your head again, your thumb brushing under his bottom lid where the tears threatened to fall. leaving him would hurt him more than you staying and making mistakes with him and you both knew that well. that’s what made it worse.

“don’t leave me, please.” he begged, his voice cracking. the hurt. the tears. the way his heart was slowly breaking for you.

his nose and eyes were cherry red, his hands wobbling as they clung to you tight. you pulled them away, taking them in yours. he instantly laced his fingers with yours, loose like he was giving you space to decide. but you both knew what the choice would be.

“i’m sorry.” you let go slowly, wiping a tear with the sleeve of your shirt before turning around slowly. he didn’t stop you. didn’t say anything more. he said enough, he knew that. and he knew that the choice was yours. that at the end of the day, he couldn’t force you to come back. it was something you had to do on your own.

but you wanted him to pull you back in his arms. kiss you until you said yes. tell him all the thoughts you had about him. how you missed him even when he was right in front of you. you felt selfish. you needed him to need you too. the difference was you weren’t going to show it as much as he did. because something you’ve learnt to do is to not give yourself to people fully.

that protected you.

but, keonho would protect if he had to with no hesitation.

and that’s probably what made walking away from him the hardest thing you’d ever done.

YOU HADN’T TALKED TO KEONHO SINCE THAT KISS. since the day you decided you’d walk away. and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d actually spent time with ian. she was your best friend. but she was another person you selfishly pushed away. and she knew you weren’t okay.

“y/n, talk to me. you haven’t done that in weeks.” she asked, a gentle but firm pry. you didn’t want to tell ian you had an extremely toxic situationship that you had finally put to an end and had fallen for said situationship’s friend. not to mention making out with him right before breaking his heart.

“i’m fine.” you mumbled, staring at your sandwich. so you chose to lie and say that you were okay because that was somehow easier than acknowledging the dilemma you had.

“we both know you aren’t.” she said—final, like she knew you better than yourself. which was true.

“i am.” you repeated, almost like saying it a second time would convince her a bit more but if anything it gave her another reason to believe otherwise. you wouldn’t believe yourself either.

“would you believe me if i said i saw you and keonho making out the other day?” she asked randomly, your eyes widening with shock. your best friend whom you had been avoiding for weeks caught you making out with keonho. you didn’t like how the embarrassment churned in your stomach.

“you saw that?” you stammered, your heart pounding in your throat.

“well, i ran away as soon as you stopped. wouldn’t want to get caught gathering intel.” she smiled, patting your shoulder. you let out a soft sigh of relief. at least she didn’t see you sobbing like a loser. you hoped she didn’t.

“intel?” you raised an eyebrow.

“of course, i’ve been watching you and that bum like a hawk. keonho is much better. i hope you know that.” she narrowed her eyes expectantly.

“um.”

“what is that um for?”

“i…”

“please do not say you went back to that bum.” her her eyes widened with fear.

“no, of course not. i’ve been avoiding him for weeks. as well as keonho.” you shook your head frantically, your eyes widening as well.

“what! i shouldn’t have let you push me away so easily. look at how stupid you are without me.” she gasped, groaning in exasperation. well, harsh. but true.

“i’m sorry, i’m just scared.” you babbled, sipping your soda. well yes, you were indeed shaking with fear but did it really compare to how much you felt for keonho?

“of what? your feelings? stop that, y/n! you can’t keep letting fear cloud your judgment. you’ll keep doing things you’ll regret.” ian let out a deep sigh, rolling her eyes.

“i already have.”

“god, keonho probably misses you like hell.”

“he doesn’t call me but people keep telling me he’s been asking about me.” you murmured. that was true. two of his friends came to you asking questions only keonho would be interested in knowing the answers to.

“maybe because he’s like in love with you.”

“he didn’t say that himself.” you said quickly. of course, using that as an excuse gave you more reason to believe that what you did wasn’t as evil as it actually was.

“oh, but i can see it.” she pointed two fingers to her eyes then to you.

“i’m sorry for pushing you away, ian.” you apologised softly, looking at her through your lashes.

“it was because of that bum, i forgive you. but you’ll only earn my heart again if you get with keonho.” she shrugged, tilting her head at you. of course. her kindness was too good to be true. not that getting with keonho was something you weren’t fond of. if anything, it was all you’d been dreaming of.

“can’t do that.” you shook your head.

“huh? are you dense or something? of course you can. just tell him you love him and he’ll be all yours.” she frowned, looking around in confusion.

“but i hurt him. i’m broken.”

“he’ll put you back together then. he’s already been doing that. you don’t look like your heart is breaking when you’re with him.” she said warmly, taking your hands in hers.

“how do i look then?”

“like a girl who’s fucking in love! get your man! and do not go back to that bum.” she giggled, her voice low and very serious at the last part.

“i’ll think about it.”

“you know what? i should’ve just sat alone in the bathrooms. cannot deal with your bullshit.” she let go of your hands with a scoff, getting up from her seat.

“sorry not sorry.” you stuck your tongue out at her.

“you will be if keonho isn’t yours. there’s a party tomorrow and he’ll probably be there. you are coming, no negotiation.” she told you firmly, leaving zero room for discussion. and you knew that very well. even if you didn’t want to go, ian would be at your door exactly an hour before it started to forcefully give you a great night. well, her idea of a great night.

“fine.” you muttered softly.

“that’s more like it. ciao!” she winked at you, waving as she walked off.

a party. with ahn keonho there. there was absolutely no way you’d escape him. either you’d find him or he’d find you. it was inevitable. and you’re not meant to spend your night worrying about seeing someone at a party.

especially if you had been yearning to see them.

because truth be told, you had missed keonho more than would’ve liked to admit. all you could think about was that kiss, all the times you’ve spent with him. each and every single word he said to you.

it forced you to think about your feelings too, the one thing you hated doing. because thinking about your feelings meant acknowledging them and that meant telling yourself that you were in love with keonho. you had never been in love before. no one had ever come close.

it scared you. just the thought of loving him scared you. you didn’t want to let him down and you didn’t want to disappoint him. you didn’t want him to regret committing himself to you nor did you ever want to be anything less than the girl he wanted.

you were used to not being enough. to not be truly wanted. so when a guy comes into your life and looks at you like you’re the reason the world still spins it’s hard not to feel like you’ll ever be enough.

maybe it'd be worth it. maybe you two would make amends.

maybe you’d truly fall in love.

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN AWAKE THIS LATE. nor should you have been this wasted yet here you were, drunk out of your mind regretting everything because drowning yourself in some alcohol made thinking about keonho easier. newsflash! you were far from the truth.

you felt horrible, really horrible. like a monster. every time you found out keonho was asking around about you, every time he looked at you like a starving man. every time you remembered that he wanted you. and every time you remembered that you were the one who walked away when all you wanted was to stay.

and sometimes the pain goes away. sometimes it passes over time and you feel a little bit better about the reality of the situation but knowing that he wanted you didn’t bring you comfort. it only made you feel like more of a burden. he was probably staring up at his ceiling, thinking about you. wondering if he should’ve sent a text or called you to hear your voice just once.

you were projecting.

maybe he despised you for your decision. maybe he let you go that day because he realised he was better off being with a girl who was whole and committed. not someone weak like you.

but keonho was too understanding. too good to you. too good for you. he wouldn’t resent you even if he tried. and the thing is that he wouldn’t even try. wouldn’t think of the idea of hating you.

that made it worse.

so, you drank it all away. the worry, the pain, the hurt, the guilt. it made it all better.

“hello?” a familiar voice came from the other line, sounding slightly rough with sleep.

“is that you, keonho?” you asked softly.

“yeah?”

“miss you.” you mumbled, your words slurred.

“are you drunk?” he questioned with subtle concern. you didn’t really like how he didn’t say it back. maybe he truly was mad at you.

“just tipsy.” you breathed out. you most definitely weren’t just tipsy.

“where are you?”

“home.”

“okay.” he said, trying to hide his relief.

“i’m sorry.” you suddenly apologised, you sat up, holding the phone closer to your ear.

“why?”

“i hurt you. and i miss you and you’re just too good to me.” you sighed, your guilt and hurt shining through.

“i miss you too.” he whispered back like a secret between you two, his tone yearning.

“are you mad at me for it?” you asked after a beat of silence, silently wishing he wasn’t.

“no.” he replied immediately. at least he didn’t hate you.

“why?”

“because you’re calling me.” he responded sleepily, his voice deeper. he was talking to you even though he was on the brink of knocking out.

“drunk calling.” you corrected.

“still calling me.” you could hear the smile in his voice. he was happy. that made your heart flutter.

“i’d be mad at me.” you hummed.

“i’m not, isn’t that what matters?” the way he said it made your heart skip a beat. why did he have to be so unintentionally cheesy? well, was it really unintentional?

“yeah.” you agreed.

“why are you drinking?” he questioned once more.

that was an easy question to answer. you simply felt like a monster. like a complete burden. all you had really ever been in keonho’s life was a wreck. and you wrecked him too. yet somehow he managed to fall for you.

“‘cause i feel like shit.” you answered honestly.

“because of me?”

“‘cause of me.”

“i don’t know if you’ll remember in the morning.” he says with hesitation. you wanted to remember. whatever he wanted to tell you, you wanted to remember it like the back of your hand.

“i’ll try for you.”

“i love you, y/n. more than you could imagine.” you felt your chest bloom with warmth, your cheeks burning even more. except it wasn’t just the alcohol, it was because of ahn keonho who loved you.

“aww. you’re sweet.” you giggled.

“all you’re gonna say?” he couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

“no. i just feel a bit lost. i don’t want you to be hurt ‘cause of that. let me sort out my feelings.” you murmured, a bit serious. you meant it. but you knew your feelings. you just didn’t want to say them while you were drunk.

you were conscious enough to know that that was something you didn’t want to do.

“will you be there at the party tomorrow night?” he changed the subject, the question one you didn’t really want to answer. you wanted to but you didn’t at the same time.

“maybe.”

“come. please.” he pleaded faintly with a hint of desperation. what would happen if you went?

“will consider.”

“okay.”

“sleepy.” you babbled.

“go to bed, baby.” he insisted, the pet name sounding so right off his lips. could he call you that every day? could you be his baby?

“i wanna talk to you.” you whined.

“mm-mm.” he hummed in disagreement.

“fine, good night, keonho.” you gave in reluctantly, only cause it was him.

“dream of me.” he whispered, flirty in a way that made you feel so mushy on the inside.

you probably weren’t going to remember the conversation and you’d truly regret getting drunk in the morning but keonho would remember. and you wouldn’t forget the way your heart beat for him.

“THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED!” ian yelled, practically muted from how loud the music was blasting. you face-palmed, clutching your bag tighter as you made an attempt to escape your friend. but, to your demise, she caught up to you.

“hello, party pooper, don’t leave me!” ian called out to you, stumbling to you due to her newly bought heels she couldn’t quite walk in yet, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“where is your boyfriend?” you inquired, stopping your tracks. ian’s eyes lit up instantly, her index tapping her chin.

“oh, good question. i actually do not know.”

“is he not hosting this thing?” you tilted your head, eyebrows raising.

“yeah but like him and martin always do these insane prank thingys and like you can never find them.” she flicked her hair back, looking around where she hoped she could find him.

“right, please go find someone to dance with.” you nodded, backing away a bit.

“oo, because you’re trying your man. i won’t interrupt then.” ian giggled like a little kid, running off to a group of girls, flinging her hands up and cheering with them. you couldn’t help but smile, one of the only times in a while you actually did that, finding an empty couch with no wasted people or couples.

you watched the party unfold before you, red and purple lights that made it look like a club, a cluster of the classic red plastic cups and huge bottles of alcohol scattered across the counter which some clearly drunk people were standing on. an ungodly mix of colognes, perfumes, sweat and alcohol wafting through the air. just like the night you met keonho. except back then, the old you was a lost cause.

some people were sitting on the stairs, talking to people that appeared to be their significant others, girls sobbing into their phones in corners, a bunch of dudes that looked like the swim team cannonballing into the pool. and the couples either making out or dancing. some people even danced with complete strangers due to how intoxicated they were.

the music was loud, so loud you’d think the neighbours would file a noise complaint but the chaos in your head seemed to be much louder.

your eyes found seonghyeon, arms wrapped around a girl as he swayed with her, a smile on his face. it didn’t really look like that usual sarcastic smirk he gave you. it was different. softer maybe. it made your heart constrict in a way you didn’t like. jealousy maybe? you didn’t want to feel jealous. not when you had your growing feelings for keonho.

you immediately got up and found a full cup on the counter. you didn’t bother trying to identify what exactly was in it. all you knew is that it was probably some booze. you were definitely going to have some regrets the next morning. you didn’t care though.

you downed two cups, the burning at the back of your throat eliciting a cough from you. then you went back to the couch, staring into space because that was better than finding seonghyeon and that girl again. better than trying to find keonho.

your thoughts were in a spiral, keonho was consuming them. you just wanted to find him. as much as you didn’t, you did. you’d sink into his arms and never let go, confess everything you had been keeping inside, close to your heart.

you got up again, going upstairs. maybe he’d be up there alone, thinking. keonho had a habit of doing that. just disappearing to think. you hoped he was up there because you started to feel the effects of the alcohol in your wobbling.

you found a door, a small opening from the door not being shut fully. you saw a silver of light peaking out that brought to the conclusion that someone was inside. you slowly opened it, trying not to make a loud creak. there he was. sitting on whoever’s bed it was, his eyes instantly finding yours.

you froze, not saying anything or doing anything. just watching him. he looked good, so good. you wanted to tell him that. but you didn’t. you simply watched him get up and walk to you until he was barely a breath away. then he wrapped his fingers around your wrist, pulling you with him until you were both sitting on the bed.

your shoulder was brushing his, your knees bumping. none of you spoke, just sat side by side in silence, allowing it to do the talking. then his fingers slowly let go of your wrist, sliding down to lacing his fingers with yours. you didn’t hesitate to do the same, squeezing his hand gently in the process.

“do you remember?” he questioned suddenly, staring at you. you couldn’t help but stare back, right into his eyes, looking up through your lashes.

“last night?” your eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“mm.” he hummed.

“not really.” you shook your head.

“do you remember what i said?”

“no.” you saw a flicker of something in his eyes. disappointment maybe. it was all just a blur. you couldn’t remember no matter how hard you tried.

“i told you i love you. more than you know.” he murmured softly, his thumb drawing circles on the back of your hand. he loved you. he truly did love you. that was all you needed.

“i have a feeling there’s more you want to say.”

“mm. i do. you bring this side out of me that i didn’t know was there. i’ve never felt anything like this for anyone before and it scares me. but i love it so much and i just need you. here. i don’t want you to ever leave me,” his other hand twitched at his side as if he wanted to hold you close but was fighting that urge.

“i love you, y/n. since i saw you at that party with that lip gloss. every single day since then, you’ve been on my mind and in my dreams. i just want you to feel the same.” you smiled—barely—fiddling with his necklace with your free hand. his words, so real, raw. that vulnerability only you knew of. it was just love. love you couldn’t deny. love that mirrored your own.

“i do love you. i just pushed you away cause i was scared of not being enough for you. of not being able to be enough for you. but i love you, keonho. you’re the first boy i’ve ever loved and i wouldn’t mind you being my last.” you watched the way his face softened, how his eyes sort of lit up. his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close, the other letting go of your hand to hold your cheek. then he kissed you.

it wasn’t anything desperate or eager. just gentle, warm. the kind that made the fireworks go off and your heart pound in your chest. that kind that expressed your love without needing words. “you don’t know how much i’ve wanted you to say that.” he whispered, out of breath and in love. you kissed him again, more passionate than the first, the both of you smiling against each other’s lips until you felt like you were suffocating.

“am i your boyfriend now?” he breathed out.

“yeah.” you smiled harder.

“my girl.” he held you to his chest, running his hands through your hair.

you didn’t know how exactly you could describe the feeling of being in love. it was a lot of things. feelings, words, emotions. like a roller coaster. but, it made you whole. it saved you. keonho saved you. he looked at you for one second and realised that he needed you. he loved you without hesitation or doubts. just love.

and it found you before you were a gone girl.

ahn keonho found you before you were a gone girl.

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ㅤㅤㅤ© J4EYXN ‘25

[wonvelvet]

never be yours .𖥔 ݁ ˖

in which ── .✦ you and heeseung were born into rival political dynasties and expected to be enemies, but instead, you end up falling in love. wc: 11k ༄.° — req by anon 𑣲

tags: secret relationship, smut mdni, a lil fluff, politics, unprotected sex, degrading AND praise cus yk, heeseung on his knees obviously n the usual ofc ⊹ ࣪ ˖

the annual political fundraiser was the last place you wanted to be at right now.

you hate the bright flashes from the cameras, you hate the stupid reporters invading your privacy asking absurd questions, you hate how everyone— every single person, has a fake smile plastered on their face. it’s disgusting, it’s boring and your father knows how much you hate it.

after what felt like hours faking your smiles for photos while hanging onto your fathers arm like a child, you finally managed to slip away from the public and make your way to the balcony which was thankfully empty.

cool air brushed your skin as you leaned towards the railing, finally giving you time to breathe.

‘trying to escape too?’

his voice was familiar, yet you couldn’t quite place who it was. you turn around and see a boy your age, stood at the doorway. you had to admit, he was kinda cute.

‘is it that obvious?’ you softly laughed.

‘just a little’ he lets out a smile, walking towards you before leaning towards the railing himself.

you guys stood in the cold air, sharing your complaints about how dumb the event was, how flashy it was and how exhausted you both were from constantly having to watch your expressions in front of everyone.

then a voice came from inside, ‘heeseung!’

you could recognize that name from anywhere, no way. it’s impossible, were you just having a conversation with your fathers rivals son? fuck, you just hope nobody saw you two. you knew your father would be so angry with you if you got into a scandal involving his literal sworn enemy.

‘wait- you’re heeseung? as in.. lee heeseung?’

‘yeah, and you?’

you scoff, ‘i’m y/n fucking l/n!’

his eyes widen instantly, you both stay silent for a moment before his laugh uncontrollably spills out. you just stare him in disbelief, what the hell?

‘well’ heeseung says with a small smile, ‘this is awkward’

soon after, your own laughter starts coming out.

since you were born, you’ve heard the nastiest things about heeseung and his family. you automatically assumed he’d be a whore just like his father, but surprisingly he looked less like the enemy you were programmed to hate for years, and more like a normal person.

after that fundraiser, it was like heeseung had his fingers in every single fold of your fucking brain. you had promised yourself you would never ever think of him after that night, but you have never been so painfully wrong.

you thought of heeseung all the time, when you were in class, when you would eat breakfast, when you would get ready, and even when you would talk to your father. your mind had always wandered back to that night you two had talked.

so now you lay in your bed, angrily trying to tell your brain to forget about him because you will never talk to him again.

the only light in the room is the dim, warm glow of your bedside lamp. you are trying so so hard to just sleep everything off, that is until your phone buzzes on the side table.

unknown: still trying to mentally recover from that fundraiser?

you just stare at the message, how the hell did he manage to get your number?

you also couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile while rereading his message for the 57th time.

you: unfortunately.. what abt u?

unknown: i might just break my leg so i don’t have to go to the next one

you felt like you were sixteen again, secretly messaging a boy and giggling while reading his texts like you were in high school. from that night, you and heeseung had texted every single day.

you would even eat dinner early, rushing back to your room and telling your father ‘you’re super sleepy’ just so you could have two hours at night to call him and shit talk both of your families.

you two would complain about the fundraisers, your parents, your mutuals, the reporters. you guys would just talk about anything, even going as far as sending pictures randomly throughout the day to give eachother updates.

for the first time, you had finally felt understood.

one night, after hours of texting while your father thought you were peacefully sleeping, heeseung messaged you something you could never tell anyone about.

heeseung: so.. when am i seeing you again?

your heart has genuinely never raced faster, you knew you should say no. you have to say no.

instead, you replied,

you: how does wednesday sound?

heeseung: perfect

then came wednesday, you have been preparing yourself for this day all week. you even got your hair recolored, did laser, washed your hair with your delicious toasted vanilla shampoo, and even used your special occasion ‘chocolate shower gel’ all over your body.

you two agreed on meeting at an underground bar, meant for celebrities who want to take a break without getting mobbed by invasive people. you thought it would be way too risky to have heeseung pick you up, so instead you both separately arrived at the bar.

the building was super sketchy, the wallpaper was barely on and dust was collected everywhere. you did your best to hope that you wouldn’t get kidnapped and entered the (even sketchier) elevator. once you reached the basement, you were met with the most beautiful bar you’ve ever seen.

it was dark, the light wasn’t yellow or white, it was red. the red light created a surreal atmosphere and wasn’t too intense, there were a few people, not anyone you knew. you looked around and locked eyes with the softest gaze you’ve ever seen.

‘hi y/n’

‘hi heeseung’ you smiled

you both sat at a two seater table, it was intimate, but not awkward. you guys actually managed to get along really well, probably even better than when you guys would text or call. his knee would occasionally brush over yours, but he never moved it away first.

and safe to say, it went pretty well.

until your phone started ringing, and the only people who would call you were heeseung or your father. clearly it wasn’t heeseung so your body instantly started heating up when you realised who it was. ‘fuck- my fathers calling me’

‘oh uh.. come with me’ heeseung grabbed your wrist, his touch feeling feather light. he quickly dragged you to an unused room where no one was allowed. ‘answer the call here, it’s quiet’

you answer his call, putting on that fake smile you always have with him even though he can’t even see you.

‘hi daddy! what’s up’ your voice shaking just a bit,

‘where are you?, you know we have to attend a campaign early tomorrow’ your fathers voice has that familiar aggressiveness to it.

‘oh- i’m trying to buy a new dress for it, you know.. and i also need makeup so im shopping, ill be home soon i promise’

‘be home before 12, it’s already 10 and the campaign is at 8am tomorrow.’

you blindly agree with anything he says and manage to convince him you will definitely be home by 12. you cut the call and sigh while putting your phone back into your pocket, apologizing to heeseung.

you notice it, you notice how heeseung can’t take his eyes off your lips, you notice how his hands hover over your waist, you notice his breath becoming uneven.

you take it upon yourself to grab his collar and crash your lips onto his, his fingers digging into your waist as his knee finds its way between your thighs, settling right onto your cunt.

his hands guide your hips to grind him, his mouth muffle your moans he quickly makes his way onto his knees.

‘heeseung..’

‘just let me do this baby, just relax okay?’ his pushes up your dress until it rests on your hips, uncovering your drenched panties. ‘fuck, already soaked? just from grinding?’ he laughs.

your grip tightens in his hair, ‘shut up’ you smile despite yourself. he slides your panties down to your knees, not bothering to take them fully off. he pushes your thighs apart making your legs open giving him a a full view of your aching heat. the smile on his face doesn’t leave even when he latches his mouth right onto your clit.

fuck, you don’t know if it’s because of how hot he looks on his knees, or the adrenaline pumping through your veins knowing you may get caught, or if it’s even the fact your father thinks your buying dresses instead of having his rivals son eating you out, but the coil in your stomach tightens insanely fast.

you didn’t think he could be this skilled, his tongue takes its time exploring every inch of you, intertwining with your folds while his fingers finally ease their way into your heat. his tongue and fingers working simultaneously making you uncontrollably spill out moans, you were so vocal and responsive it didn’t take long for heeseung to become frustrated with his own growing hardness.

he increased his speed and pressure, sucked deeper till your fingers pulled on his hair so hard his scalp started burning. when he layed a gentle kiss right onto your clit, you instantly became undone. ‘look at you, dripping onto my tongue and shaking from just my fingers’

he smoothly got up, his hair messed up from your grip. his fingers push past your lips and you instinctively suck on them, tasting yourself on him. ‘good girl’ he releases his fingers from you, taking the into his own mouth to clean up whatever you left.

‘heeseung please,’ you say out of breath

‘tell me baby, what do you want?’ his hands travel up your sides and he gives you small kiss onto your cheek.

‘i want you to fuck me’

he lets out a smile once again before diving back into your mouth, his tongue forcing its way through your lips and savoring every inch of your mouth. he pulls himself away, a strand of saliva still connecting you two while you help him undo his belt and take his jeans off.

to no surprise, he was big. your mind instantly questioning if he would even fit in you. ‘wait..will it fit?’

he kisses you again ‘i’ll make it fit’ he pulls you into his arms and makes you wrap your legs around his waist before slamming your back into the wall, and in one thrust, burying himself in you. fuck, you thought you teared something from how much he stretched you.

he didn’t wait for you to adjust, he instantly started thrusting, your dress riding up higher and higher your body. you’ve been fucked before, but most guys were clumsy and only cared about making themselves cum. but heeseung? he could make you cum untouched, he repeatedly hit the spot inside of you that put you in absolute euphoria. your eyes squeezed shut, trying hard to not scream and get the employees attention while you get fucked in a room you are definitely not allowed to be in.

‘fuck baby, you’re so- tight’ heeseung groans himself, it was like you were made for his dick, perfectly molded to fit him inside you. ‘your father would fucking kill you if he saw you right now, moaning- fuck- moaning like a slut on his rivals sons dick- shit- right?’ he could feel you clench tighter at his words, he was right. you knew nobody could find out about this, you both would be dead. it didn’t take long for you to cum all over him again, your cunt already sensitive from the last orgasm. shortly after he thrusted harder, faster, chasing his own high. you suck on a spot on his neck which makes him instantly release hot ropes of cum inside of you. you felt him filling you up entirely, you were so fucked out you didn’t even care he didn’t wear a condom. you’d figure that out later, a morning after pill will fix it right?

he stays inside of you, your legs still wrapped around him when he meets your gaze. he looks just as fucked as you are, he rests his lips on yours again. your hands making way to his jaw, pulling him closer.

how were you two supposed to keep this secret?

[wonmuse]

SHES JUST NOT INTO YOU           » s.jaeyun 

SYNOPSIS your new life was meant to be fun, new city, new job, new friends. But when the universe somehow places you in the same living quarters as your old crush Sim Jaeyun, things get a lot more complicated. You just want to move on acting like you never even knew him, but he’s determined to prove otherwise. While he knows for a fact you still like him, everyone else can’t help but think you’re just not into him.

LOG ;  ❝ SHES JUST NOT INTO YOU ❞  ─── sim jaeyun & fem!rea ⭑.ᐟ summer romance / coming of age / smau + written ∿ contains ! lifeguard enhypen ꫂ  Ot7───★˙ nainai’s library !!

CASTING ot7 enhypen, chanhee (the boyz) @/chanheestrn, ceena @/h1onlife, reader @/ynonmp3, niyani @/junjitomi, jaiime @/callmejayjay

PROFILES ⭑ READER & FRIENDS ⭑ ENHYPEN 

NAIS CALLING ᭪ all the accounts done below are for a work of fiction, not the actual accounts. Please do not misinterpret; rather, clip out of context. This is purely for a work of fiction and for fun. I do not claim to know any of the members nor do i claim to be them.

#READER_&FRIENDS-PROFILES | MASTERLIST

⭑READER / YN ⭑ 23, lifeguard priv @/limerence

⭑ CEENA ⭑ 21, barista, sunoos girlfriend priv @/soceena

⭑ NIYANI ⭑ 23, works at the ice cream shop priv @/yanibaby

⭑ CHANHEE ⭑ 28, works at the ice cream shop priv @/justdieve

⭑ JAIMEE ⭑ 24, parents own the resort priv @/pinkalicious

[jongst4r]

(not) spoiled (p. jay)

jay loves to spoil you, even if you don't want him to

pairing: jay x reader || wc: 1.2k || cw: fluff!! established relationship, kissing, use of petnames, comfort(?), very lightly suggestive || warnings: none! || a/n: all thanks to this request!! oh jay </3

you and jay have been together for almost two years now, and one thing has never changed: your inability to accept gifts without feeling massive guilt.

it’s a sunny saturday afternoon when the issue comes up again.

you’re walking through the luxury department store because jay needed new shoes for an upcoming schedule. at least, that’s what you thought. somehow you’ve ended up in the jewelry section, and jay is staring at a delicate gold necklace with a small diamond pendant that costs more than your monthly rent.

“don’t even think about it,” you say immediately, grabbing his arm.

jay turns to you with that signature raised eyebrow. “why not? it would look perfect on you.”

“because it’s too expensive,” you whisper, glancing around like someone might overhear. “jay, that’s literally insane money for a necklace. i don’t need it.”

he sighs, the same sigh he always gives when you start this. “baby.”

“no. girl, no,” you insist, tugging his sleeve. “i already feel bad when you buy me coffee. this is way too much.”

jay looks at the necklace again, then back at you. without another word, he flags down the sales associate and says calmly, “we’ll take this one. and can you wrap it nicely?”

your eyes widen. “park jongseong.”

he just smirks and pulls out his card like it’s nothing. when the associate walks away, he wraps both arms around your waist and pulls you against his chest.

“you’re cute when you’re mad at me for spoiling you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“i’m serious,” you mumble into his shirt, cheeks burning. “i don’t want you wasting money on me.”

jay pulls back slightly so he can look at you. his expression softens, but there’s still that stubborn glint in his eyes. “it’s not wasting money if it’s for you.”

later that evening, you’re both on the couch watching a movie when a notification pops up on your phone. it’s a delivery update.

“jay… why is there a package coming tomorrow from that fancy skincare brand i mentioned once?”

he doesn’t even look guilty. “because you said your skin’s been dry lately.”

you groan and hide your face in a pillow. “i was just complaining! i was going to buy the small version myself!”

“the set is better,” he says simply, pulling the pillow away so he can see your face. “and before you say anything, no, it’s not a waste. you take care of me all the time. let me take care of you too.”

you peek up at him, lips pouty. “you already do enough.”

jay leans in and kisses the pout away. “never enough.”

the biggest fight happens two weeks later.

it’s your birthday, and jay has planned an entire weekend getaway. you only found out because he accidentally left the confirmation email open on his laptop. when you confront him, you’re standing in the kitchen with your arms crossed, trying not to cry from a mix of love and guilt.

“jay, a private villa? for two nights? that’s crazy expensive. we could’ve just gone to a nice dinner or something—”

“we can still do dinner,” he says, leaning against the counter, completely unfazed. “but i want to take you away. just us. no schedules, no members, no stress.”

you feel your chest tighten. “i don’t want you spending all that money because of me. it makes me feel bad, like i’m taking advantage—”

jay walks over and cups your face gently, thumbs brushing your cheeks.

“hey. look at me.”

you meet his eyes, blinking back tears.

“you are not taking advantage of me,” he says firmly. “you never ask for anything. ever. you always tell me not to buy you things. you get embarrassed when i pay for dinner. you even tried to split the bill on our first date, remember?”

you nod, embarrassed.

“so let me do this,” he continues, voice softer. “i work hard so i can spend it on the person i love. it doesn’t feel good when you act like my money is a burden. i want to spoil you. i like spoiling you. it makes me happy.”

you bite your lip. “but… it’s too much.”

jay smiles, that gentle, patient smile that always melts you. “it’s not too much. you deserve the world, baby. and i’m lucky enough to be able to give you pieces of it.”

he pulls you into his arms and holds you tight, rubbing your back slowly.

“please let me take you on this trip,” he whispers into your hair. “let me show you off. let me wake up next to you with ocean views and order you breakfast in bed. let me do this without you feeling guilty.”

you stay quiet for a long moment, face buried in his chest. then you mumble, “you’re really annoying when you’re right.”

jay laughs, the sound vibrating through his chest. “i know. but you love me anyway.”

“unfortunately,” you tease, squeezing him tighter.

the weekend at the villa is perfect.

jay keeps catching you staring at the beautiful scenery, the huge bathtub, the massive bed, and every single time he says, “stop calculating how much it costs in your head.”

you try to argue when he orders the most expensive bottle of wine for dinner, but he just raises his hand in that sassy way (the same one he uses with the members) and says, “babygirl stop.”

you end up laughing so hard you almost choke on your pasta.

on the last night, you’re both sitting on the private terrace under string lights. jay pulls you onto his lap and wraps his arms around your waist, one hand resting protectively over your stomach even though there’s nothing there yet.

“thank you,” you whisper, playing with the necklace he bought you that’s now resting beautifully against your collarbones. “for everything. i’m… still learning how to accept it. but i’m trying.”

jay kisses your shoulder softly. “that’s all i ask. just let me love you the way i want to. money is just money. you’re priceless.”

you turn in his lap to face him, cupping his face with both hands. “i love you so much it scares me sometimes.”

“good,” he smirks, but his eyes are warm. “because i’m never going to stop spoiling you. get used to it.”

you groan playfully but lean in to kiss him anyway — slow, sweet, full of gratitude and love. jay kisses you back like you’re the only thing that matters in the entire world.

when you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours.

“happy birthday, my love.”

“best birthday ever,” you admit softly. “even if you spent way too much.”

jay chuckles and pinches your side. “there you go again.”

you laugh and hide your face in his neck. “sorry. habit.”

“it’s okay,” he murmurs, holding you closer. “we’ve got time. i’ll keep reminding you until you believe you deserve every single thing i give you.”

and as the waves crash softly in the distance, you think maybe — just maybe — you can start believing him.

because with jay, love isn’t just words.

it’s him ignoring your protests.

it’s him rolling his eyes with a fond smile when you say “don’t waste money on me.”

it’s him whispering “too bad, i’m spoiling you anyway” right before he kisses you stupid.

and honestly?

you’re the luckiest girl in the world.

© jongst4r, 2026

taglist: @solonenova, @neabrownn, @drowsypanther, @redessertired, @pinkdazed, @enhypenlvrsstuff, @strwberrylhs, @insignificantlillady, @vanillakirstein, @jaeynslutt, @d2iose, @gchirpy, @k13endall, @phjayyy, @unnatrual, @kookiesnkim, @kpopishgirlie, @kaejua, @ineedjaeyun, @moonchild-31, @cortised, @borderdaytwo, @wonrlls, @heartsski, @dollhoonki, @kristynaaah, @d1m-cataclysm, @bitemhoon, @wh0re4deonnu, @h4esexng, @thisisalwaysthat, @heesno1gooner

[stwryun]

Hii! Is there any chance that you have a good recommendation for a long Jake fic? I really want to read something but just can‘t find anything long enough 😓💔

YESSS !!!!

➤ complementary — the physics of your body , part two | jake loved physics as much as he loved you [ brothers best friend ]

➤ out of luck , part two | In which Sim Jaeyun becomes the only genuinely good, unfairly lucky thing that’s ever happened to you… and just like everything else in your life, good things have a way of slipping right through your fingers. So now you have to figure it out, fix it, or risk losing the only thing that ever felt right before you run Out of Luck [ roommates au ]

➤ anti hero | "You need to get laid," his roommates pointed out one day, ruining his perfectly planned college life. Thinking that his roommates were just looking out for him, Jake found himself in a world that he seems to be unfamiliar with — having a fuck buddy, and that's with a little help from you, Decelis University's "golden girl." [ friends with benefits ]

➤ volume 3 ☆ jake sim — the first love trope | you, a quiet girl who is the introvert of all introverts, never thought you would befriend the most popular boy in school by having the same music taste. what songs are you going to show him next? [ first love trope ]

➤ two peas in a pod | You love Jake, but believing you are a Beta who can never truly satisfy his Omega nature, you push him away only to realize during a dramatic twenty-first birthday presentation that you were his fated Alpha all along [ friends to lovers ]

➤ a real man | Jake Sim, son of one of the most wealthiest CEOs in Australia. Who also happens to be the man your parents set you to marry at 20 years old, and now—five years later, the father of your child. You and Jake have a..rocky relationship to say the least. The real question is, who’s going to be the first to break? [ arranged marriage ]

➤ the bet , bonus | Jake sim, one of the most popular boys in school makes it his goal to have you fall for him, a simple bet with his friends. Little does he know, he’ll be the one falling to his knees for you [ bet au ]

➤ the summer i got horny | nerdy sim jaeyun is sweating buckets when the baddie he's been crushing on sits in his lap on a two-hour road trip. [ friends sister ]

➤ AW SHIT, HERE WE GO AGAIN | IN WHICH jake keeps telling himself he’s fine with whatever this thing between you is, so he decides that a friends with benefits situation with his best friend's girlfriend's best friend, who also happens to be his other best friend's older sister, is a completely reasonable idea. until he wakes up alone for the nth time and realizes that this friends with benefits situation is not benefiting him at all. [ friends with benefits ]

➤ eat me up | in which jake knows you’re bad for him, but he just can’t help himself. after all, in the end, the answer is always you. nobody else matters. not even the guy you’re seeing, his friend, sunghoon [ friends with benefits ]

➤ give me tough love | Jake's always liked pretty things, and you're the prettiest he's ever seen. Another thing about Jake? He always gets what he wants [ omegaverse ]

➤ tension theory | You were just Heeseung’s girlfriend’s cousin—quiet, polite, a little too naive for your own good. Then you met his friends. Now you’re in the middle of a spiraling mess of jealousy, bad decisions, emotional whiplash and two boys who treat boundaries like suggestions. Oops. [ love triangle ]

➤ friction principle | You thought things would calm down after the confessions, the crying, the sex. After fists were thrown and secrets dragged out into the open. But Jake is still mean, Sunghoon is still quiet, and now you're still stuck somewhere in the middle—aching for something that feels like love but tastes like possession. [ love triangle ]

➤ preacher's daughter | in the early 2000s, in some small, rural town, your religious and restrained life collides with jake sim, who makes you doubt everything you know and want to explore more of the world [ outsider!jake x preachersdaughter!reader ]

➤ the fifth floor theory , part two | in which jake sim, the campus golden boy and star soccer captain, isn't supposed to find anything on the fifth floor of the library except a quiet place to study. but instead? he finds you, the wallflower who refuses to treat him like everyone else does. [ soccer captain!jake x wallflower fem!reader ]

➤ of all the people in the world | You know you should be ecstatic about the invitation to Chaewon’s and Jaemin’s wedding in your mailbox, but you can’t help the nerves gnawing away at your stomach. There are too many things you’ve left unresolved after moving to Seoul—your aunt, your friends, and most of all Sim Jaeyun, the boy you’ve never let yourself love. [ childhood friends to lovers ]

➤ sunflower | You have lived in apartment 3B for two years. You know your neighbors the way you know background characters — familiar, unremarkable, just part of the scenery. Which is why it’s strange that you’ve never properly noticed the man in 3A. Until 6:58 on a Tuesday morning when someone knocks on your door and you open it to find not him, but her. Small. Round-cheeked. Duck pajamas. Absolutely certain of herself. You fall for his daughter first. Jake is just the complication that comes after. But god, what a complication [ single dad au ]

➤ things i know that i can't have | jake's life was hard enough before he fell for you—balancing uni, football, and being a good christian son. in some cruel twist of fate, sleeping with you has only made things harder—and, according to sunghoon (and scripture), damned him to hell the first time he thought about it. [ fwb to lovers ]

➤ under the table | you and sim jaeyun have been academic rivals for as long as you can remember, competing intensely to beat the other in every class you've ever shared. for years, you've hidden your feelings for him, burying them deep down where jake can't find them, and you're hellbent on ensuring he never discovers your secret [ academic rivals to fwb to lovers ]

➤ bruises [ strangers to implied lovers ]

➤ manchild | you’re trouble, and jake sim knows it. you flirt like it’s your job, wear sin like perfume, and make men beg without even trying. he’s the only cowboy who doesn’t chase you. so naturally, he’s the only one you want. [ cowboy jake ] this fic changed the trajectory of my life no cap 🤞🤤

➤ RULE NUMBER 1: DON'T FALL IN LOVE | your ex getting a girlfriend after just two weeks of breakup was enough to infuriate you to the point where you had to step up and make him regret breaking your heart. solution? fake date his best friend and make him jealous! [ fake dating ]

➤ Love, Lies, and Sim Jake, part two | You were the quiet girl with the not-so-quiet crush on Jake Sim—campus heartbreaker, smooth talker, and everything you should’ve stayed away from. But when a bet turns your name into a game, the rules change fast. He didn’t expect to fall for you… and you didn’t expect to find out. Now it’s your move—and this time, you’re not playing nice. [ campus heartbreaker ]

➤ call me when you hate me less | Jake Sim was a walking academic hazard—hot, broody, and failing just about everything that wasn’t football. Enter you, his new tutor: organized, overachieving, and absolutely not here for his attitude or his annoyingly perfect lips. But between late night study sessions, petty insults, and one very inconvenient almost-kiss, things start spiraling—fast. He’s supposed to be you project. You are supposed to hate him. Instead, you both are one sarcastic comment away from either a breakdown or a makeout, and honestly, it could go either way. [ enemies to lovers ]

➤ off limits, part two, part three, epilogue | your older brother has always told you “no boys” and his friends “sister is off limits”, which always worked until everyone comes back home from college and you see how grown up his best friend has become [ brothers best friend ] this was soo fucking good, read this in one sitting , peak 🔛🔝

➤ just one more taste | Jake considers himself the luckiest man alive. After turning his deepest breeding fantasies into reality, filling you raw night after night until you were pregnant again and again, he built the big, perfect family he always dreamed of. With the family complete, he finally slips a ring on your finger vowing forever to keep you happy, adored, and being the man who’d give you the world just to see you smile. [ impregnator jake ] just smut

➤ the great valentines heist , part two | jake sim has been your best friend your entire life–even longer if you count the months spent in your mothers’ wombs. your moms (also best friends) have been hoping, praying, and not-so-discreetly begging for you and jake to be a couple for as long as you can remember. after eighteen years of dealing with it, you’ve had enough. you pitch your solution to jake: pretend you finally are a couple, only to prove the point of how you’re better off as friends. but as the line between what’s real and what’s fake blurs, you start to wonder… are you really? [ friends to lovers ]

➤ frenzy , part two | Jake is experiencing real love for the first time in his life. He’s so infatuated with you that he would do anything to make you understand. And you? Oh, you are in no place to argue with a man who appears to be perfect. 

➤ loyal puppy | Ever since your boyfriend Jake transformed from his nerdy high-school self into the university's star football player, you've become everything you thought you’d never be. Jealous. Anxious. Clingy. But Jake really doesn't mind your newfound possessiveness. He encourages it, even. So when he defies expectations again to star in a musical with a stunning costar, you spiral. Now, the “lowkey” relationship you once insisted on gets jeopardized under the weight of your own insecurities. [ secret!relationship au ] anothee one of my favs , im going to re read it :p

➤ no doubts | struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you. [ idol jake ]

[in-enha-world]

Well helloo againnn!! So like 2 days ago i thought of an idea and I thought you'd be perfect for it! So i want you to make a serie (or not it's ur choice) and it's basically poly idol enha x underground/5 bucks and a dream singer/rapper/soloist fem reader! But here's a twist so basically reader is married to all of them (I thought it would be unique) and basically they like react to her (music,edits,etc etc) in a video or a live and like one of her mvs has like a male idol and they get like jealous and shit (feeding my delusional ass) so yeah that's pretty much it ! 🥹

- tyyy ~ !

Undercover

Pairing : ot7 poly enhypen members x wife soloist reader Genre : fluff, secret relationship, jealousy Synopsis : Y/N is married to seven incredible idols. Seven wonderful husbands. And seven very jealous husbands… During a live stream, Engenes ask them to react to her new MV (without knowing their relationship), and the boys have to hide their jealousy when they see another man getting way too close to their little wife. How will Y/N handle their jealousy when she gets home that evening?

Y/N was a very famous soloist in the world of K-pop. She excelled in rap and could also sing like the best idols of her generation. She had never shown her face, and no one knew what she looked like. Yet, her music brought together millions of people on every tour and filled entire stadiums.

She often wore masks during her concerts or fan meetings to hide her identity. The good thing about that was that she could go out on the streets peacefully, no one recognized her!

But that wasn't the case for her husbands. She had known the Enhypen boys for almost five years and had been secretly married to them for a year. You might say a relationship with eight people wasn't common, and that was true, but Y/N was their life, their safe place, and no one would take that away from them.

Few people knew about their relationship, aside from their families and a few people at the agency. Otherwise, whether it was her fans or Engenes, no one suspected a thing! Of course, it wasn't hidden that Enhypen admired Y/N as an artist, the boys often recommended some of her songs. But Engenes couldn't imagine they were a couple.

The group decided to do a group live, something they hadn't done in a while, apart from solo lives. The idols answered many questions, also talking about their upcoming comeback, which Y/N secretly supported.

"Can you react to Y/N's new MV that came out today?" Jungwon read.

"It came out today?" Jake exclaimed. "I thought it was tomorrow!"

"Let's do it!" On the tablet they were reading comments on, Heeseung went to YouTube to bring up the young woman's channel. They crowded together to all see the screen as the oldest started the video.

Y/N had released a new rap track, mixed with a very dark R&B melody. Of course, her face was constantly masked, though it revealed part of her hair, which was dyed red for her comeback. The agency she was under was pretty cool with what she could do, so she had a lot of freedom.

"Wow, noona is so pretty," Ni-ki smiled.

"That's my favorite song, okay," Jay declared.

"You say that every time," Sunghoon exasperated, rolling his eyes. Jay bumped him with his shoulder, and they bickered before Jungwon called them to order.

They made a few comments here and there during the MV before going very quiet. Y/N had just appeared on screen for a choreographed part, close to a dancer. Too close for their liking. How dare this guy put his hands on her waist or even smile at her? That right was exclusively reserved for them!

Sunoo bit his nail without taking his eyes off the screen, the others vainly contained their jealousy. A clearing of the throat from the staff off-camera reminded them they were live and had to control their expressions.

"I really like this sound," Heeseung smiled, though it was forced.

"Once again, Y/N-nie did not disappoint us!"

They cut the video and then exchanged a few more words with Engenes before ending the live. The boys were silent for a moment before the staff announced they could go back to the dorm.

Y/N wasn't there when they got home, she was still at her agency filming content. They went to take showers, as if that would soothe them, and then settled in the living room to wait for their wife.

Jay was in the kitchen preparing the meal when Y/N came home, exhausted from her busy day in addition to her MV release. "Hey, my loves!"

She entered the living room, dropping her purse on the coffee table, collapsing between Heeseung and Ni-ki on the couch. She sighed, letting her head fall onto the maknae's shoulder, happy to finally be home. "I'm exhausted, I have no energy to do anything."

"How was your day?" Heeseung asked, taking her hand in his.

"Pretty good. Except I had to spend the morning redoing one of my backtracks because the intern accidentally deleted it, and I had practice in the afternoon."

"We saw your MV," Sunghoon informed her.

Y/N opened her eyes again, sitting up, smiling at hearing that. "Really? How did you find it? I was a little worried it wouldn't be liked because it's the first time I've done this kind of music, so I didn't want to disappoint the fans."

"Baby, you didn't disappoint them, it was incredible," Jake reassured her. "You are incredible."

"Thanks, Yunie. So you liked it?"

"We liked it, but why was that fucking dancer so close to you?" Jay said. "Did he have to stick to you like a leech?"

"You are my leeches, not him," she refuted with a smile.

"Darling, seriously," Jungwon sighed.

She frowned, folding her legs under her, crossing her arms over her chest. "You know it's just acting, right? It was just for the choreography. And the guy was super rude because he left without saying goodbye. If I wanted a lover, I'd at least take someone with manners."

"Very funny, noona," Ni-ki muttered, collapsing onto her. She giggled, welcoming him into her arms and sliding her fingers into his damp strands.

"You're just jealous."

"We're not jealous," Heeseung retorted.

"Yes, you are! It's cute."

"Princess, we're not cute, we're sexy," Sunghoon countered.

"You're dramatic! Good thing I love you."

"What does that mean?!" Y/N didn't answer, laughing as she jumped off the couch and ran into her room, the boys on her heels.

Her jealous husbands were so cute.

Masterlist

Taglist : @sabyy @kyunlov @grandlightcandy @kristynaaah @li-know @maknaehyucks @cr4zyf4ngirl777 @blue-skyyy25 @maewybakes @lezleeferguson-120 @addictedtohobi @rawrrxan @fuckthinking @heeseunglover73 @spideysenses1u @vtyb23 @nosugrefer-021 @engenehazy @bvbblyjasmine @alondra6011 @negin7 @neodreamzenie @laikaonline @mbioooo0000 @jakeyismine @psyches-reid @foreveronez @keylawnduh @lisie-loves-u @nct-sticker-127 @wonmura @hannalovesenhypen @skyearby @missoxy @caravm @l3afsh33p @iilimaria000 @mellowcakes04 @wheezyev @ravenslocked @judy410 @seungiesdoll @blengene @hwalllllllelujah @hooneyaddicted @acute4ngel @whyiskpoptakingovermylife @weebofakind @lyrarinn @1-itsneverthatserious-1 @soulenha @prettyahreum @orimuraa Can be added in comment

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[whimsylilou]