My Voyage

"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust I'm Paulina and I like the human brain, drugs, and astrology. I'm full of emotion but lack emotionality.

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

I’ve always lied. I always liked the person I told people I was because I hate my story. Friends I’ve had for years don’t know me because I’ve lied about my story. Who I am, where I’m from, what I’ve done. I’ve created villains and Heros for my story, which I am the most sorry for. I’ve lied about who I’ve been with because I wanted to write out and write in people.

And for the first time in my life, I was caught. By the only person I actually want to share my story with. I have looked my best friend in the face and told her that she has no clue who her best friend is. I had to tell my girlfriend she doesn’t know the woman she falls asleep next to every night. Because I’ve always liked it that way.

But I am done. I don't want my stories anymore. I want my best friend to know me like I know her. I want my girlfriend to trust me. I want her to fall for me, not my story.

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

The first person in the world to ever catch me had to be you. I'm done lying. But damn it I need you to look at me like you care. Please.

[matthewgleeson]

[moldiegoldies]

[skullbxnes-deactivated20190104]

Tattoo blog

[t3chn0ir]

[man-and-camera]

[definitive]

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

God I wouldn't trade you for the world. I don't want easy, I want crazy.

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

Maybe I'm just super sensitive because I crave your affection so much right now. Like I'm not just being super sexual, it's just that after we fight hard like we did, I want to feel wanted. You told me you feel this passion, I want you to show me.

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

It's crazy how you can actually fucking hurt me. Honestly, I'd rather you hit me sometimes than feel like this. But I love you and you can fucking think whatever you want about her, but for the first time she's not the one I'm crying over or missing. It's you on the other side of the bed.

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

Late night thoughts

You accuse me of still having feelings for her when you were the one that went behind my back to talk to your ex, and I never once acted as cold as you. I want you to want me. Not just sexually. I want you to say don't leave like I've said to you. Sometimes I wonder if you would have any ducking emotion if I left. You said you loved me. I'm not asking you now to tell me every two seconds or even every day. But when I know something is wrong and I say it, I really need to hear it. And if you don't love me back I just wish you wouldn't have said it to me at all. Because I love you. Not her. I don't even think of her anymore, I only want you because I do love you. Because I do say baby don't leave when you walk away upset, and I disappear in the middle of the night when you won't kiss me back because I know how much you hate crying. Because I meant it. I hate I love yous so much but I do love you. I

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

I wish once, you'd be afraid of me leaving. I just want to feel wanted

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

And it's crazy. The feeling that your chest is struggling to rise and fall in rhythm. That feeling like rocks in your eye socket trying to force crying to stay put. All over fucking three words you use to never be able to say, and realized that now, not hearing those words is suddenly traumatic. Realizing that you love someone, and them rolling over without loving you became enough to hurt you worse than ever.

[defectivepokemon]

[onlyrealvoyageofdiscovery]

I get so happy thinking about what to wear tomorrow when I come home, what flowers I'm going to get you, cooking you dinner while you play with the dogs in our kitchen, and how I'll pour you a beer and wine for myself. Nights like tonight, I just sit back and thank god that I went inside our friends house the first night I met you. I never thought that would lead to us moving into an apartment together, and I certainly never thought I'd love you like I do.

[sexy-lesbo-girls]

[chicklicks]