OnMyMaryJaneShit

Sorry can't make it to dinner, busy being Mary-Jane. Excerpts from my life. I am Mara's unwritten tertiary character. Recent grad, new city. You take yourself everywhere you go.

[babyadults]

[onmymaryjaneshit]

"Set deadlines for everything. Don’t let tasks go on indefinitely." 

^^THIS. Working on it now, setting deadlines based on time of day. There are so many lists on how to create an effective list, how to do your to-do. Hell, there’s even a column about it. I’ve found that trying to be productive one tactic at a time is the most helpful.

So, this week I’m setting deadlines for everything. For small tasks and large. They’re non-negotiable, and there are real consequences for letting these things roll over into the next day. (Ok, the only consequence is I can’t have anything sweet before 8pm if I don’t complete my deadline list. That’s a big deal.)

[am-btch-ous]

[onmymaryjaneshit]

Note the difference.

Yes, I'm smart. No, the shit is not together.

Immabeoktho.

[sourcedumal]

I'm a fragile Black woman who is interdependent with other people for survival and has needs for romantic companionship

[klasonta21]

[babyadults]

"Absorb the data from one place, then move on." —my 2014 encouragement against google chrome tab (and life) overload. Sit with the information, tackle te articles and work one by one, bird by bird. Absorb the pain and glory of 2013, then move on.

[onmymaryjaneshit]

Absorb the data and move on. Hi 2014 how's it goin?

[babyadults]

Merry Christmas to me! Celebrated my single-ness and the birth of the sweet baby savior on Christmas Eve in the pleasure of my own company. Riesling, Hagen-Dazs, flowers and a scented candle. It’s such a relief to let go of the pressure to *be* somewhere and *do* something, and to shamelessly enjoy the act of chilling. It’s a process, learning to be alone, and to enjoy that loneliness. 

Not pictured: The Dawson’s Creek marathon I was binging on. 

[onmymaryjaneshit]

On my 23rd birthday last week, I took to Google (oh, Dr. Google, you never disappoint) and looked up 'lessons for your 23 year old self'. I found the expected fare--'be gentle with yourself; don't try to have it all figured out; be patient; take time to reflect;  your job may not be what you expected but it's ok;  travel if you can; believe wholeheartedly in empty platitudes; practice being as vague as possible while being completely earnest; blahblahblah'

Then I stumbled upon this on-point gem:"Dear twenty-three:

Stop chasing everything every time." 

wOW. Read that again.

This is a lesson for my 23 year-old self.  Chasing everything every time--from job opportunities to emotions to expectations--will leave you completely spent, and standing in the same damn place you started, but worse for the wear. When I chase everything every time, it always ends with double the anxiety. So, dear 23 year-old me, time to focus your attention on chasing one or two things earnestly, for your own reasons. Do you really want to chase an image that you can't sustain once it's achieved? No? Ok Miss 23, that's a sign.

Sound off, Mary Janes, what are you chasing?

SOURCE: theeverygirl.com

[onmymaryjaneshit]

I came across this great blog "Conscious Daughters". It's not regularly updated but the writer talks on her grad school experiences as a black woman. Then I found this gem: "Your success is measured by your ability to complete things." 

I don't agree 100%, but there's nothing like knocking a task off a massive to-do llst. NOTHING. 

http://consciousdaughters.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/good-morning-happy-monday/

[eciruameroom-deactivated2020022]

“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” ― Zora Neale Hurston

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/409934-if-you-are-silent-about-your-pain-they-ll-kill-you (via mauricemooreart)

[onmymaryjaneshit]

Invest in Yourself.

This is the main tenet of this blog. Invest in yourself, wholeheartedly. That means invest in your care, in your potential, in your experience. Invest the time and cognitive energy necessary to be who you are, in this moment, as shamelessly as possible.