A large noodle boy traps a bitty unicorn
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@ontophantoms
A large noodle boy traps a bitty unicorn
OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT
THIS IS MY FAVORITE THOR PAGE OF ALL TIME
A fan animation where Shuri wants real life reference for her Black Panther designs :)
See cup. (via riclon)
everything in large animal med is made up
this was on a post about julius caesar
they’re competing for the title
[insp]
snails riding frog
Help me obi-wan kenobi, you’re my only hope.
(Source)
Taco Belle by Olivia Mears (@aventgeek)
@copperbadge
Queso, I’ve got an idea for a new cross-over.
Oh man, I’ve seen her in person, the dress is like ten times as glorious when you’re not expecting it and then….you realize….
Taika Waititi, “Thor: Ragnarok” // Ryan Coogler, “Black Panther”
in this post, i will detail my rankings and reasons thereof of the sluttiness level of every character in hamlet, or their “ho ratio,” if you will,
where’s the rest of the post op
HAMLET ho-ratio: 11/10. thirty years old and somehow still going through his emo phase. definitely tried to convince ophelia that blue balls was a serious medical condition. has συμφορά tattooed on his bicep. probably makes out with skulls.
OPHELIA ho-ratio: 5/10. probably would have boned hamlet if he wasn’t SUCH a turd about asking. learned kissing from her maidservants. annoyed to have died a virgin but preferred death to sexual intimacy with literally anybody in the danish court.
LAERTES ho-ratio: 7/10. spent his youth in paris, presumably being very french about sex. grew up fencing with hamlet, so it can be assumed they touched dicks at least once, on a dare. nice boy, tries hard, loves the game. very relieved to die before accidentally fathering a child with someone he’d have to keep secret from his father.
GERTRUDE ho-ratio: 6/10. gamely tried to bone only her first husband for the first two years of marriage before giving up on him ever getting good at it and took her business elsewhere. will try anything once, provided claudius lets her try it on him first. comfortable with nonmonogamy, but not polyamory, because she doesn’t want to have to care about more than one person’s emotional wellbeing.
CLAUDIUS ho-ratio: 10/10, which is also the number of chefs in the court who wish he would stop doing naked bikram yoga in the kitchens.
HORATIO ho-ratio: 0/10. unproblematic. pure as the driven snow. all sexual fantasies are filled with enthusiastic consent and respectful lovemaking. wants his first time to be special, with a person he loves. has kissed one person in his whole life and refused to brag about it to his friends. “if you’re asking me how many times I’ve been in love, the answer is two. but the rest I won’t talk about.”
YORRICK ho-ratio: 2/10. literally a skull. made out with hamlet. not proud of it.
THE GHOST ho-ratio: 3/10. won’t shut up about his ex-wife during sexual encounters. generally unsexy to be around. very cold.
POLONIUS ho-ratio: 7/10. just happy, and surprised, to be here.
ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ho-ratio: 13/10. exclusively engage in threesomes. always down to experiment. well-known on campus for hosting parties with competitive Sexy Poetry Readings, which is when guests are invited to recite poetry naked, and instead of applause are given kisses. just here to have a good time. unfairly murdered. gone 2 soon. always in our hearts.
THE PIRATES ho-ratio: 15/10. all pirates are sluts for treasure.
FORTINBRAS ho-ratio: 2/10. just a soft beefcake looking for a nice girl. confused by denmark. probably would have boned hamlet if he hadn’t been dead by the time he got there.
All right, I can't bear this any longer: Could you PLEASE give us some context to those book covers you keep posting? Like what exactly are they, where do they come from, how did the author get those ideas, AND JUST HOW MANY OF THESE THINGS ARE THERE?! They are really weird and disturbing. I love them.
When I put them in the queue I thought everyone was going to get annoyed because they’ve seen them a million times, I feel terrible that so many of you guys haven’t!
There is this controversy in book industries about e-books; specifically Amazon who has made it easy for someone to self publish whereas before it would cost someone thousands of dollars and so if you did you were a loser because you obviously couldn’t get an agent or even get an indie publisher to back you. All of a sudden a million books are being self published by losers who are ruining literature because anyone can just print anything and nothing matters anymore. It’s the same thing they said when they invented the printing press and then again when trade paperbacks became a thing.
A whole bunch of people, mostly fanfic writers just repurpose in their work, start publishing these short erotic novels that they haven’t even edited and it was all getting weirder and weirder.
BDSM became mainstream because of EL James publishing her Twilight fanfiction ‘50 shades of gray’ and then suddenly there were a bunch of books that made people uncomfortable about time traveling to fuck dinosaurs. One erotic novel written by Christie Sims and Alara Branwen kind of became the poster child for the demise intellectualism.
A few years later someone calling themselves Chuck Tingle started to publish tiny erotica novels about people having sex with unicorns and Bigfoot that were intentionally weird with long and had highly specific titles. The covers went viral, most people thinking they were memes but then discovered they were real books that were actual short stories written by somebody who knew how to write and was obviously mocking the controversy.
Everyone was complaining and trying to find out who he was and journalists were trying to contact “him” but he refused to be interviewed. The popular rumor started going around that it was actually a father and son that wrote the books together and someone who everyone is probably sure was actually Chuck Tingle was anonymously interviewed and was like, “lol yeah and we usually write them start to finish in one night” which made people madder and was true because he really blew up when a meme about this dress went viral in a day and by the end of the day Chuck Tingle had a new erotic novel about fucking the dress.
Adding to the controversy is the fact that if you publish through Amazon people can read your books for free through their “digital library” but when people check out books it’s technically counted as a sale. Out of nowhere some dude named Chuck Tingle was at the top of the bestsellers list with these offensive books and sort of accidentally got nominated for a really prestigious award and everyone lost their shit.
The powers that be were changing the rules so he couldn’t win, which is what also happened to Neil Gaiman when his comic book Sandman got nominated and everyone was outraged that a comic book could be considered literature. Neil Gaiman actually won the award and then they put in a rule that no more comic books could be nominated, but they got lucky with Chuck Tingle and he didn’t win. Except then he was nominated for a second time.
Obviously Chuck Tingle didn’t win again,
but then he kind of doubled down and published books about getting fucked by his nomination and then fucked by the concept of getting fucked over by the industry. Then his book started getting really mostly sociopolitical and shoved his award nomination down everyone’s throats..
They were still just short weird erotica, but instead of being tongue-in-cheek funny they became condescendingly critical.
He has a website with an about me page but he’s become a folklore hero and everyone is 99% sure it’s fake.
As he stands now, the industries are still really upset but the indie scenes are considering them high art.
I am among the latter.
Don’t forget, the whole reason people nominated Chuck Tingle for the Hugo awards in the first place is because a lot of white male authors were really mad that women and racial minorities were winning awards. They nominated him, but of course, he wasn’t going to ruin the mystery by revealing himself, so instead he had someone go to the Hugos in his place… Zoe Quinn, who Gamergate centered around, and who was therefore the poster child of everything this group *hated*.
Chuck Tingle is a goddamn master.
Thank you for addingthat. I was about to be “but it wasn’t an accident he was nominated for a Hugo”
Yeah, the Hugo award nomination rule changes didn’t have anything to do with preventing Chuck Tingle from winning, they were all about closing loopholes that allowed a very small group (of whiny white “not all men”) to game the nomination process. The whole thing is full of high drama and also high tedium. You can read more about it here:
https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/chuck-tingle-trolling-hugo-zoe-quinn-genius/
https://boingboing.net/2016/05/06/weird-porn-author-who-was-drag.html
Wholesome content.
if the only men you’re attracted to are fictional or celebrities, you’re not attracted to men