Onusimeliorism @onusimeliorism - Tumblr Blog

I am not the first to say this by any means but it bears repeating: EVERYONE suffers under the patriarchy.

Feminism isn't, and shouldn't be, all about men all the time, but it does include men, and the dismantling of sexist ideologies also benefits the well being of men.

The patriarchy teaches men that they are supposed to never show emotion or vulnerability. It teaches men that they are only worthy if they treat women like sexual objects. It creates men that are angry (the only emotion they are allowed to express), violent, and sexually frustrated.

This is why we have so much of this sexist, anti-feminist sentiment. It's because men hear words like "patriarchy" and "feminism" and they think it's some insult to them. They think, "My life's not so easy. I don't see this 'privilege' I supposedly have."

They don't see that a lot of their own suffering also stems from sexism and expectations placed on them by the patriarchy. Sexist ideas like that women are more emotional and vulnerability = femininity = weakness, or that men are the stronger, smarter, better gender, create societal pressure on men to suppress their emotions or to be successful to prove their manliness. That second one is made even more damaging by a failing capitalist system which prevents a vast majority of men from attaining the finical success that they tie their self worth and masculinity to.

The patriarchy and sexism is damaging to everyone. Feminism isn't about blaming men for all the world's problems. Women can be sexist too, and men can be feminists. Feminism is about dismantling the oppressive system of gender compliance and patriarchy that affects all of us.

sickofthis666

This is why we have so much of this sexist, anti-feminist sentiment. It's because men hear words like "patriarchy" and "feminism" and they think it's some insult to them. They think, "My life's not so easy. I don't see this 'privilege' I supposedly have."

White men literally says the same thing about BLM/systemic racism (my life isnt easy/i dont see what privilege i have) and yet you wouldnt support All Lives Matter/the inclusion of white ppl in the movement, wouldnt you?

onusimeliorism

First, I do not understand why people are making this same comparison over and over again when it is such a false equivalency. They are not the same issue at all, and something applying for one issue doesn't automatically mean it will apply to another.

Third, if you really want to connect these two unconnected subjects, I will show you how similar logic does apply to both situations.

All lives matter and including white people in the BLM movement are two completely different things and I don't understand that comparison either. Black people are murdered by police and face rising racism and violence in America. White people have a responsibility to use their societal privilege to fight for justice. That means white people have a responsibility to listen to Black voices and be educated, go to BLM protests, and fight for BLM causes. So yes, white people should be included in the BLM movement.

Similarly, men have privilege under patriarchy that they have a responsibility to use to fight for feminist causes.

In both cases it's important to note that the voice of the more privileged group (white or men) should not speak over the voices of the oppressed group (non-white or women) in the respective movements. Speak up for when necessary and fight alongside, never speak over or take up space in environments where you aren't wanted.

In both cases, part of being an advocate of the oppressed group as a part of the privileged group is acknowledging your own biases and privilege. You have to admit the mistakes you make, and then make an effort not to make them again. You have to admit that you are ignorant sometimes and do your best to get better educated. You have to recognize how you have unfairly benefited from or contributed to or enabled oppression in many ways, and demand from yourself to do better.

Men should be included in feminism, and white people should be included in the fight for racial justice. The only alternative is ignorant, privileged people who don't feel welcome in the fight for a better world create their own stupid movements like all lives matter and terfism.

I've been actively identifying as asexual (and aromantic) since I was 12. At the time I was relieved because I thought it would be the LEAST controversial identity. I'm just not interested in relationships or sex. No one could get mad at that, right?

....

Right?

#asexual #fuck jkr #asexuality #aroace #aromantic #jk rowling #its more than not wanting a 'shag'#its a whole identity spectrum actually #yes I'm still young that doesn't make my identity less valid #I'm just ranting in these tags at this point #go write another book steeped in internal misogyny and leave us alone #asexual pride #ace pride

Okay this is significantly more silly and stupid than my usual posts but it pissed me off so I'm gonna talk about it.

I just saw a video that joked that the Barbie movie and the Minecraft movie are both the most gendered movies of all time. Fuck that.

First of all, anyone can like Barbies and enjoy the Barbie movie, though clearly is was specifically targeted to women and involved feminist discussions and such, so I will accept that the Barbie movie is pretty "gendered" I suppose.

But the Minecraft movie?! Are you kidding me? The game that was able to get so popular in the first place because it appealed so strongly to all genders?

The implication here is clearly "Barbie for girls, Minecraft for boys" but this misses the mark so fucking hard. Minecraft is such a great game specifically BECAUSE it appeals to everybody, regardless of age, gender, ect.

But on top of that, there are so many aspects of Minecraft and the Minecraft community that appeal specifically to femininity. The number of flowers in the game is insane. There is a pretty pink cherry blossom biome. Minecraft can be played like a classic cute framing sim. I was practically raised by Aphmau and LD Shadow Lady and a bunch of other small Minecraft YouTube channels run by women where they get cool girly mods and texture packs. There's one in particular, I can't remember the name, that modded the whole game to be made of rainbows and candy and pinkness and unicorns. It's almost funny how stereotypically "girly" Minecraft can be.

About 30 to 40% of the fanbase of Minecraft is women. Whether or not the Minecraft movie picked up on all that and properly appealed to their massive audience of women, I can't say. I haven't seen it. But that little comment made me pissed so I wanted to rant about it.

#rant #minecraft #minecraft movie #barbie movie #gender

onusimeliorism

I have seen some TERFs being upset at being called TERFs, and I might actually agree with them on this one. We should call them something else. Because they certainly, clearly and distinctly, are NOT feminists.

Lots of them claim to be feminists. Ruined the whole word for the rest of us, actually. But they are not feminists.

To be a feminist is to have hope for the future and a desire to fight to make it happen. "TERFs" have no hope that we could actually have an equal world. They think that males are just biologically hardwired to be predators, using the same "boys will be boys" argument that sexists have been using for thousands of years to excuse men of any responsibility for their actions. When you tell men that they are just wired to be predators, it signals to them that they should not even try to not be predatory, that they cannot be held accountable because it is "just in their nature." Men are socially conditioned by the patriarchy to be sexually aggressive in order to be accepted, and if they are not sexually aggressive they are seen as weak and unmasculine. The goal of feminism is to undo that social conditioning. The "TERF" ideology that predatory behavior is inherent in biological maleness is completely anti-feminist.

To be a feminist is to be thoughtful and critical, to engage with nuanced issues and form complex interconnecting ideas about society and the human condition. "TERFs" seem to have never had a more complex thought than "human with these genitals good, with these genitals bad and scary." This one dimensional thinking is detrimental to feminism. It harms feminism by validating the outside viewpoint that we are all just man hating lunatics. It harms feminism by telling men that they are not able, and therefore not obligated, to be feminists or fight for feminist causes (Side note: when I say men here I mean MEN. I'm not even talking about trans women yet, if I was talking about women I would say so. MEN can, should, and have to be included in feminism in order to actually build a better future, excluding men just gives them no actionable steps to improve and gives them no options except alt-right podcasts). It harms feminism by blocking so many people out, by dividing feminists and pitting them against each other, by infesting a fight for equality with more bigotry.

To be a feminist to have a respect for, a love for, a connection with femininity. It is also to be critical of "femininity" as a concept, to be aware that on some level it is a collection of stereotypes that women are forced to play up and conform to by the patriarchy (social conditioning goes both ways!) but to also know when to set that aside for a second and enjoy the color pink. I don't think there is a group of people on the planet that truly understands that struggle more than trans women, who are taught young to hate their feminine features that make them "unmanly," who are forced to conform to an expectation of hating femininity and seeing it as weaker all the while longing for it, who through their transition begin to learn the careful balance of being authentic on your womanhood and enjoyment of feminine things and not playing up a stereotype. Trans women get a first hand education on all the perils of femininity, all the impossible balancing acts and social expectations and philosophical dilemmas, and yet they continue to choose femininity, even when its difficult, even when the whole world is against them, they choose to be true to their femininity. Isn't that the most beautiful expression of love for womanhood you have ever heard? Sometimes, as an AFAB nonbinary person, I hate my femininity. I hate that I still like rainbows and cute things and flowers. I hate that when I walk through the world people see me as a girl. When I feel that way, it is almost always thinking about trans women that pulls me out of it, because they are a reminder that there is so much joy to be had in femininity. They are a reminder that being seen as a girl isn't so bad, because girls are awesome, so awesome that someone would choose to live as a girl even if it's extremely difficult. Meanwhile, most "TERFs" are so full of internal misogyny that they cannot even begin to fathom why someone would choose to be a woman. They hate their own femininity so much that they villainize it (looking at you, Rowling) and hide away from it, they see femininity as stupidity, or childishness, or a weapon/tactic to use against men. "TERFs" hate femininity.

So, clearly, "TERF" isn't the right name. The "trans exclusionary" part fits okay (though some "TERFs" do include trans men and AFAB nonbinary people, they do so by invalidating these trans people's identities by calling them women, therefore it is still trans exclusion) the "radical feminist" part does not. So what should we call them? Hmmm....

The definition of "sexism" is "prejudice or discrimination based on sex."

Yeah, that fits pretty well. Instead of "TERFs" we should call them what they are, plain and simple. They are sexists.

Feminism has been invaded by these sexists. They have made a home for themselves in this term that does not belong to them. Real feminists need to take it back.

unsentimentaltranslator

Lots of flowery language here, while our side is just:

You either think incarcerated women should be locked in with a rapist with an intact dick or you don’t. (“Those women shouldn’t be incarcerated in the first place!” Julie Bindel agrees with you! She has dedicated years to fighting against a misogynistic criminal “justice” system! And when she shows up to speak at events, your poor hard done by trans woman buddies intervene to get her speech cancelled.)

You either think women and girls who have been beaten up and/or raped by dick owners, who retain similar patterns of violence even when they transition, should be allowed to have spaces away from dick owners to heal, or you don’t.

You either listen to female athletes about the unfair advantages that people in male bodies tend to have, or you don’t.

You either think lesbians shouldn’t have to be constantly pressured to take dick, or you don’t.

It’s really that simple.

onusimeliorism

First of all, I want to thank you. For my limited time on tumblr, you have been my most loyal fan, thank you for being the first person to reblog my post.

Second, this is exactly the one dimensional thinking I was talking about. Have you ever thought that there are more viewpoints than just the extremes? Ever approached that complex thought I mentioned?

There are many different views, even within the trans community, on ideas of medical transition and/or "passing" and many other factors being a requirement for entrance into certain female spaces. It really depends on the situation.

For sports, medical transition (specifically HRT) is necessary for real competitive environments. Major competitions like the Olympics have specific requirements for trans competitors approved by experts in judging sports and by scientific evidence. A lot of it has to do with how early in your life you transitioned and how long you have been on HRT. I strongly recommend reading "Fairness for Transgender People in Sport - PMC" (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8944319/) for more information.

No one, no matter the orientation or identity of anyone involved, should be pressured to "take dick," as you so eloquently put it.

Also,

Trans women can be lesbians and call themselves lesbians. They can be a part of lesbian communities.

Those two statements are both true. If you've experienced that some trans women get upset when they're rejected because of their transness, that's because they are human beings that can have their feelings hurt and maybe you should have some empathy. That being said, I completely disagree with any attempts to shame people who prefer not to get with a trans person. It is personal preference and it is okay not to be attracted to someone, and at the end of the day it doesn't matter what the reason is. This is a stance most trans people agree with; just say "no" and both parties can move on without shaming each other. Humans aren't perfect, sometimes people get upset, but you can move on from that too.

For prisons it's pretty simple, a judge would not put a rapist with a penis in a women's prison. That simply would not and does not happen. Not all trans women are rapists and not all of them have penises, and the judicial system exists for exactly the purpose of judging something like prison placement on an individual basis. Also, you have no actual proof that they retain the same crime rates after transition. Do you want to provide another source for that, because I already tore apart the last one (I'm sure you saw that post, being my biggest fan and all). And a goal of feminism in the first place should be to bring down crime rates in men, especially rates of sexual violence and harassment, so why can't we focus on that instead of worrying so much about trans people? We should be demanding lower sexual violence rates in general, regardless of identities involved.

For women recovering from violence, I believe they should take whatever space they need, but excluding trans people from spaces for sexual violence victim recovery and support is wrong. Trans people are more likely to experience sexual violence than cis people (https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/). Encouraging a fear or hatred of men or biological males is not at all a healthy way to recover from a trauma like that, especially when it means denying support to victims of violence that need it. I understand needing support from other women in a time like that, but I really don't see why that can't include trans women. I understand that it might not be rational but a trauma response for cis women recovering from sexual violence. Those women need to work that out in therapy instead of trying to take resources and safe spaces from trans people.

You've probably given up on reading this by now, or you're not actually considering any of what I'm saying, or you didn't actually check any of the sources. It doesn't matter, thank you anyway. Thank you for the opportunity to break down these points and demonstrate the stupidity of your extremism.

My writing has been called many things, including "ruthlessly efficient" and "too manly," but "flowery" is a new one. As I said in the original post, I like flowers, so I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks for that too I guess, I always appreciate my fans.

#terfs are not feminists