The Quotes of Everscidy

The out-of-context shenanigans of a D&D group of mostly new players and a rather distressed GM who’s just trying to hold it all together...

[ooceverscidy]

[ooceverscidy]

“Welp, I guess I don’t know words now! It’s confirmed: I am fluent in exactly ZERO languages!”

—Calliope, who is just trying to speak

[ooceverscidy]

“C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG AND IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT WE CAN SING IT FASTER THAN YOUR WRONG BUT IT WOULD HELP IF YOU JUST SING ALONG BUH BUH BUH!!!”

—Entire party

[ooceverscidy]

Clef: *makes gesture*

GM: What’s that? You looked like you wanted to say something?

Clef, Quietly: Nothing, I just whipped...

[ooceverscidy]

“I was thinking about Clogs... I’m always thinking about Clogs.”

—Calliope commenting on Clef’s ‘poor shoe choice’

[ooceverscidy]

Akhali: “My character can't have problems anymore. She only has one problem.”

Calliope: *inquisitive stare*

Akhali: “I've decided that, being dead, she has forfeited all other problems.”

[ooceverscidy]

“Any last-minute things for my two living characters?”

—G.M., after murdering three player-characters

[ooceverscidy]

G.M.: “Make a medicine check.”

M: *rolls* “ENOUGH WITH THE ONES!”

G.M.: “Nope! No fucking clue! Maybe it’s a 5-Hour Energy?”

[ooceverscidy]

Lyr, concerned: “Stop the drugs, they are bad.”

Clef, after wildshaping: “I’m on ...shrooms.”

Calliope: “No the shrooms are on you.”

[ooceverscidy]

“Look at all those chickens!”

—G.M., gleefully at the many horribly dying civilians

[ooceverscidy]

M: “OH NO IT’S THE MITOCHONDRIA!”

Clef: “THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL!”

[ooceverscidy]

“Can I be in denial and just say ‘no?’”

—Clef, about life

[ooceverscidy]

“WAIT YOUR DICK IS A PERSON!?!?”

—Lyr to Clef, disgusted

[ooceverscidy]

“Well, it’s Jaune Lost now, ‘CAUSE HE LOST!!!”

—M, with Lyr humming the John Cena theme quietly in the background

[ooceverscidy]

“You know, it’s like when you put a cat in an elixir: you get a catatonic...”

—M explaining the word catatonic to Clef

[ooceverscidy]

“It’s a large stick that makes loud booms.”

—G.M.

[ooceverscidy]

“YOU ARE A SNAKE! HOW ARE YOU HELPING!?”

—GM to Clef, incredulously