Okay, I kinda have a personal post here, and I was lookin for some advice from other people.
So, for most of my life, I've been a pretty intense people pleaser. I always did my best to make myself small and quiet and accomodating to everyone so they'd be nice to me, and I always went out of my way to be as nice and supportive as possible. I wanted to be friends with everyone, and make everyone feel welcome, most of the time at the cost of my comfort or desires.
After a few major friendships falling out, I've realized that I am exhausted. Just, emotionally so burnt out, I can't function very well. I realized a lot of those friendships were predatory and abusive, and I've finally learned how to value myself a little more.
My problem though now has become that I am angry. I am so angry, all the time. I get snappy, I roll my eyes, I get an attitude, and sometimes I get this near uncontrollable rage. Its scary, and it makes me feel like a monster. But I can't control it, I can't stop it, its like I'm just angry at society in general.
I've become very anti-social. Its one of the biggest reasons Ive stopped engaging in fandom and posting on my social medias. I don't want to accidentally lash out at someone or get irritated over normal, typical behavior.
I know this sounds really bad, and I really am sorry to anyone if I've made you upset about anything recently. I feel like a monster, like I am becoming something I can't control. I'm terrified I will lose more friends or even my wife. I even have this problem at work, like I can't control my bad attitude.
I'm scared, I'm worried, I don't know what to do. Has anyone else who has been a former people pleaser experienced this? And how do you navigate it? How do you fix it?
Thanks for reading guys, I appreciate any advice or help.
stormborns
prguitarman
romaincrisis
annaxmalina
titsay
baratheonpilled
izzy806
discoholicmusic
