i may not be crime but i am the arrest

he/him || fandom insanity soup || i am so inconsistent with what fandoms i post im sorry || hey i have a strawpage now

[oooo-leanderies]

Its almost been a year of this now wow... anyways. Kofi here. 3 commission slots. Uhhh yeah read the tos its linked there yep yep yeeeppppp thats it

[oooo-leanderies]

another attack i did on @thoughtless-in-space but its the relentless chase au this time. bcs i love the relentless chase au. love cage!! their love caging love language bro!!

and also some of the thumbnails i did for it 👍 bcs i couldnt decide

[thoughtless-in-space]

Ok but

How would stan^4 react to stan^4 reacting to stan^4 reacting to stan^4

Ford takes out the multiversal seam rippers. He’s heard of this phenomenon and he needs to break into the fourth ‘wall’ dimension to disassemble the silliness at its source, lest the next one becomes infinitely increasing the levels of Stan^4

The only way to cut this recursion off is for him to break through the meta and prevent you from conceptualising any further layers to this,.. by any means necessary

[oooo-leanderies]

wrote a onehsot inspired by a reblog chain conversation with @thoughtless-in-space! and also because i wanted to write more about them i needed to give them more attention. alright. well. without further ado:

WHITE PICKET FENCES (BARBED WIRE AND TRENCHES)

2725 words || nik and nova have the worst family dinner ever while everyone else suffers the apocalypse.

-------------------------------------------------

The world is ending outside. The orchestra of screams is their substitute for a radio playing background music, because radios probably don’t work here on account of—well, the world ending. They’d probably just play maniacal laughter. Or the screams again. It’s nice weather, though—no rain. Just red, bloody skies. Inside the house (an admittedly big one, because the family breadwinner worked very hard for it,) a family. Dinner is being had. The children sit on either side of the longer-than-normal table. Mother sits on one end. Father, at the other. Whichever person is which is up for interpretation.

Or, in short: Nova and Nikola are having the worst family dinner of their lives.

After Bill’s paltry (read: pathetic) attempt to get them on his side, he had sent them away to be kept somewhere. Not chained, oh no—that was reserved for real threats, like their other father (Nova couldn’t help but be slightly offended at that statement.) It wasn’t as if he didn’t have a point, though. Every single one of the twins’ escape attempts were thwarted in some way, either by the henchmaniacs watching or by BIll himself, who would always end ti by picking them up by the scruff and sending them off back to their rooms, like a pair of insignificant puppies, or… well, to continue with the suburban sitcom family metaphor, a pair of children being sent to their room. Which they were. They were a pair of children and Bill always dropped them off in what he considered ‘their room,’ whereas Nik and Nova had considered it more of a prison cell (an admittedly cushy one.)

A while after, Bill had reappeared again. This time, he had nothing to say about an escape attempt, or even a threat about their father or a temptation to try and persuade them again. No, he had instead snapped his fingers and teleported them to yet another room in the Fearamid. This one was one of the strangest they had seen—rather than twisting window panes like prison bars and roomy atriums made for partying or gloating, the room was much smaller. It was still on the roomier side, but compared to everything else in the Fearamid, it almost felt… cosy. Homely, even. The walls were still in that dreary, dark brick, and the room was primarily accented in various shades of orange and red, but the strangest part of all had to be the room’s purpose. There was a long dining table, set with a red runner and some placemats. Hell, even a little candelabra sat on its centre. There were cabinets and countertops at one end of the room, and hell, even a fridge. A triangular window, lined with jagged bars again, gave them a pleasant view of the world ending around them.

Bill snapped again, and he was wearing an apron. He sauntered over to the kitchen, humming a flat tune as he summoned a frying pan and turned on the stove to reveal blue fire. He gestured to the kids. “Go on, sit!”

But they couldn’t. Because sitting at the far end of the table was ford restrained with glowing blue chains and wearing the nastiest scowl on his face.

And now Nova and Nikola are having the worst family dinner of their lives.

Nova whips around to face Bill, teeth bared in a snarl. “Let go of our Dad!”

“No can do, sweetheart,” he tuts, waving his spatula in the air. When did he even get a spatula? “Your father’s been very uncooperative as of late.”

“I wonder why…” NIk mutters, but Nova does not snicker like she usually would.

“You’re going to destroy the world! Why do you think?”

“‘Destroying’ is such a strong word! What about improving?”

Nova grits her teeth. It’s taking everything in her right now to try and figure out how to summon a fireball so she can throw it at Bill. She knows that at her current level, she’d lose.

(And here do you think you inherited those powers, anyway?)

“Let him go.”

“I don’t like your tone, missy. Sit down.”

“No.”

“I said sit down,” Bill snaps, and a pair of chains jump up to grab one twin each. They're each dragged by the wrist to their respective seats, and then the chains disappear again. They aren't permanent, like their father’s. Probably because he won’t take us seriously.

“You’re really leaning into the suburbia thing,” Nik tries, going for an awkward smile. Nova has no idea what sort of angle he’s going for here. There’s nothing to smile about in this place. “Any reason?”

Bill lights up. He turns about to face them, leaning against the stove's counter. It would be less ridiculous if he wasn’t, you know, floating. “I’m so glad you asked! You see, I’ve just had a brilliant thought. Why force you all into following my plans”—the food is burning to a crisp—“when I can show you how awesome it would be if we were a nice, big, happy family!”

“Ther’es nothing nice or family-like about this, Cipher,” Ford growls, and Nova’s inclined to agree. Bill just scoffs.

“That’s rich, coming from the guy who didn't even want to call his brother until the very last minute!” Ford’s expression hardens. “But no, no, you go preaching to me about big, happy families.”

“That is none of your business—”

“Uh, durr, I think it is! The issue involved me!”

Nova drags her hands down her face with a groan. Alright, she’s had enough of this. Is this what normal kids get to feel when their parents start to bicker? Suppose theirs don’t usually fight about the end of the world, though. “Stop.”

Bill scoffs. He turns back to his dish, which is most likely ashes at this point. “Sorry, supernova, your father’s being very disagreeable right now.”

“Stop—stop treating me like we’re married—”

“Hey, until the end of time is a very valid form of—”

“—you don’t even care about notions like ‘marriage’ and ‘family—’”

“—it’s called committing to a bit, and I am VERY GOOD AT IT! LAY OFF.”

“Um.” Nik raises his hand. Nova’s impressed at how level-headed he’s managed to be throughout this whole ordeal. He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Why did you decide to commit so hard to ‘the bit,’ then?”

“Weren’t you listening, kid?” Bill crosses his arms. “To show you all how nice of a family we can be!” 

“I’m not sure that requires… roleplaying. As a traditional nuclear family.”

“Well, I decided to try being normal for once. You know,” he turns off the stove, speaking very pointedly in Ford’s direction, “because YOU DON’T LIKE MY WEIRD.”

Ford glares. “For the record, I don’t like this, either.”

“I can’t do anything right around here,” he bemoans, like he’s the victim, and then he swings around to slide the plate of food towards them. It’s rat carcasses. Charred. 

Nova can’t even bring herself to be disappointed, because this is just what she expected. She doesn’t bother touching her plate. Or any of the utensils, for that matter. Say they’re made out of condensed toenails instead of metal? 

She glares at Bill, but doesn’t say another word. Bill meets her eyes and snorts.

“Geez. kids these days! So moody.” He winks at Ford. Or blinks. Or something. ‘Am I right, Fordsy?”

Ford glares at him just the same. Bill’s smile fades. “Ooo-kay, then.”

He takes some of what he cooked and gobbles it down in a split second, eyelids warping to lips as a tongue slips out to lick the whole plate clean. Nova and Nik share a glance across from each other. Yuck. 

Bill’s eye blinks back into place. “Well, what are you waiting for? Eat up!”

Ford and Nova don't move a muscle. Nik courageously (or perhaps cowardly—depends on how you look at it) puts some of it on his plate. He does not make any further move to actually eat. Bill doesn't seem to notice. He launches into another topic instead.

“So how’s school been, kiddo?” he asks, gaze turning to Nik. Nova cringes for him. Nik blinks.

“It’s summer.”

“Oh, right.” Bill backtracks. “How’s summer been, kiddo?”

“You don’t actually care,” Nova mutters. Bill's gaze slowly turns to her instead.

“I care, starling! Look at me asking,” he points out, like he seriously thinks it means something. “No need to be so moody.”

“I am not moody—”

“Look at you, spoiling your brother’s moment. I wanted to ask him his opinion.”

“This is a perfectly normal reaction to you causing the apocalypse—!”

“So how has summer been, kiddo?” Bill asks, even louder. Nova fights to not tear her hair off. Nik’s sympathetic wince to her from across the table does nothing to calm her. 

He looks away. Nik clearly has the willpower of steel to be acting this neutral right now. “Um. Alright. But you tried to hurt our family a lot.”

“Those were just the boring members!” Bill replies, waving him off. His eye stays trained on him. “You guys are VIP. If they want a seat at the table, they’re going to have to earn it.”

“Uh… well—that’s—we shouldn’t…”

And then he trails off into a mumble, Bill puts a hand to one of his sides like he has ears. ‘You’re going to have to speak up, kid!”

Nik sighs. “I’ll just sit closer,” he says.

As he shuffles his chair, he gives Nova an imperceptible nod—barely even there, but Nova knows it when she sees it. Her eyes widen. Ah. That’s his angle.

At the same time that Nik begins sitting closer to Bill and trying his best to hold a conversation with him, Nova shuffles closer to Ford, who has been staring at the rat carcasses miserably like they personally offended him. That's understandable. They personally offended Nova, too.

“Dad. Pops. Dad.” He looks up. Nova stares at him intently, speaking in low tones. “How are we getting you out of there?” 

Ford huffs. “It’s no use, Nova. They’re made with Bill’s magic. I believe the only person who can get rid of them is himself.”

Bill’s magic, huh? Her gaze hardens. She unclenches and unclenches her fist—the four-fingered one. 

“Yeah, well—” She grabs one of the chains connected to the wrist closest to her. “You know what he says. I’ve got a little bit of him in me. I want to try.”

Ford’s face falls. “Nova—”

Out of her and Nik, Nova has always been the one with more of a handle on whatever godly powers they may or may not have fully. Nova’s the one who broke them out of the false dream world they were left in for thirty years. Nova’s the one who starts accidental fires. Nova’s the one Bill tried to appeal to with things he valued, as if she was just a smaller version of him. Her next words, she spits out with a combination of malice and resentment. “I’m better at it than Nik. Just give me a chance.”

Ford’s expression turns into something pained. Wordlessly, he holds out a wrist to Nova. “You can try your best.”

Chaos, the wilder magic, she’s not as confident with. Her own attempts to match her father’s godlike manipulation of reality usually end with nothing happening or with some other unintended consequences. Other abilities—possession—she’s loath to try. There’s something she’s always had a talent for, though—pyrokenisis. Stars burn, after all, and that’s just what Nova is about to do. He snaps her fingers desperately until a spark finally appears. She closes her eyes.

“Nova?”

She takes a deep breath. In. Out. The tiny flame warps into a heated blade like a utility knife, and so she begins working at the chains like a nail file trying to cut down a nail.

Ford watches her work with wide eyes, silent. She grits her teeth. It’s not… working, per se, but it’s denting the metal somewhat. Small wins. She pulls her hand away and there’s only a tiny chink in the chain, a small dent in the shape of where her blade cut in. She groans.

“Stupid—fire—” she goes at it again, pressing harder this time around. “Just work already—”

“Nova, it’s okay.” Ford puts his free hand on hers to stop her. He sighs. “We can figure out some other solution.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO WHISPERING ABOUT OVER THERE,” Bill announces, squinting at them. Nik gives her an apologetic wince.

Nova doesn’t miss a beat. “How annoying you are.”

“You are wayyyyyy more annoying than me, kid,” he scoffs, snapping the seats back into their places. He leans over to Nova this time around, elbows planted on the table and hands clasped over each other. “It’s your turn now, starling. How was your summer?”

Her eye twitches. “Same as Nik’s,” she mutters.

“Really?” His eye flashes with something, and Nova suddenly feels chills up her spine. “That’s hard to believe! You know, considering your whole thing with the powers—”

“I handled them just fine,” she hisses, eyes narrowing. “I’m no different than Nik.”

“Oh, but you two are so different! Nik is nicer. You’re all disagreeable and mean and so, so, grumpy.” He blinks, eye wide and unfeeling. “But I’ve seen how you handle yourself, kid. You’re a lot more like me than four-eyes over here. You should be proud of that.” His eye creases with glee. “There’s no one I like better than myself, after all.”

The whole room falls silent. There’s a sudden pounding in Nova’s head, like static, like thunder. Like him. Like him. Like him, who tormented their father chained up at the end of the table. Like him, who left them for thirty years in a pocket dimension because he simply forgot. Like him, who spends the rest of his time wreaking havoc wherever he goes.

She snarls. “I am nothing like you.”

BIll chuckles. Giggles, even. “Oh, that’s real funny. Cute, even! Honestly, you can stop lying to yourself, I think the resemblance is pretty un—”

“I said I’m nothing like you!”

“—and plus, the fire? I’d be more proud if you got good at the other stuff, too! You’re well on your way to—”

“Bill,” Nik interrupts, voice barely there, He avoids his gaze. “I think you should stop.”

“Aw, how sweet.” He stretches an arm out to pat Nik on the head, condescending. “No.”

Nik grimaces. “Bill—”

“How about you call me Dad and I’ll consider it?” Bill taps his chin. “What about Pops? The Old Man? Dear old Dad?”

“Haven’t been much of a father to them now, have you?” Ford of all people mutters under his breath, and as Bill flashes red the kitchen suddenly falls into a cacophony of noise again.

“Oh, here comes Mr. I-disappeared-for-thirty-years with the receipts—”

“Let me remind you who caused that in the first place—”

“—I’m nothing like you because at least I don’t ruin everything—”

“—Bill, please—”

“You’re all so moral and uppity. Why am I family with a bunch of cops—?”

“No, I think trying to take over the world is a completely valid reason to—”

“—Let Dad go!”

“Stop. Stop—”

The doors burst open. A resounding slam echoes across the room. Everyone freezes.

At the other end of the room is a man in a worn-out, dusty suit wearing a fez. He mutters to himself, annoyed, before looking up and noticing all four members of the dining table staring at him.

Stanley Pines blinks once. And then twice. “What.”

Silence.

And then Bill rolls his eye. “Oh, great! It’s the in-laws!”

A laugh track plays from nowhere. Nova is sure that every single person in the room right now (apart from Bill) is incredibly concerned. Stan stares at the scene with his mouth ajar, his expression a combination of both shocked and also highly disgusted.

“Why are you playing house with my brother and his kids?” he asks, like he’s going to get a normal answer.

“We’re not playing house, we are house.” Bill scoffs. “But you know what? Let’s play a different game.”

His eye glows red, shining out a laser like a prison searchlight.

“Let’s play tag.” He hops out of his chair, growing to a gargantuan size. “I’m it.”

Stan at least has the wisdom to start running. Nova groans.

This is the worst family dinner ever.

[thoughtless-in-space]

CACKLING THIS IS BRILLIANT

[oooo-leanderies]

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT GHSGSHSH nik and his fawn response... i dont think that was even a part of his personality until i wrote it in. to be fair he did not have a lot of personality beforehand ... BUT. see even I'm learning things by writing about them

[oooo-leanderies]

wrote a onehsot inspired by a reblog chain conversation with @thoughtless-in-space! and also because i wanted to write more about them i needed to give them more attention. alright. well. without further ado:

WHITE PICKET FENCES (BARBED WIRE AND TRENCHES)

2725 words || nik and nova have the worst family dinner ever while everyone else suffers the apocalypse.

-------------------------------------------------

The world is ending outside. The orchestra of screams is their substitute for a radio playing background music, because radios probably don’t work here on account of—well, the world ending. They’d probably just play maniacal laughter. Or the screams again. It’s nice weather, though—no rain. Just red, bloody skies. Inside the house (an admittedly big one, because the family breadwinner worked very hard for it,) a family. Dinner is being had. The children sit on either side of the longer-than-normal table. Mother sits on one end. Father, at the other. Whichever person is which is up for interpretation.

Or, in short: Nova and Nikola are having the worst family dinner of their lives.

After Bill’s paltry (read: pathetic) attempt to get them on his side, he had sent them away to be kept somewhere. Not chained, oh no—that was reserved for real threats, like their other father (Nova couldn’t help but be slightly offended at that statement.) It wasn’t as if he didn’t have a point, though. Every single one of the twins’ escape attempts were thwarted in some way, either by the henchmaniacs watching or by BIll himself, who would always end ti by picking them up by the scruff and sending them off back to their rooms, like a pair of insignificant puppies, or… well, to continue with the suburban sitcom family metaphor, a pair of children being sent to their room. Which they were. They were a pair of children and Bill always dropped them off in what he considered ‘their room,’ whereas Nik and Nova had considered it more of a prison cell (an admittedly cushy one.)

A while after, Bill had reappeared again. This time, he had nothing to say about an escape attempt, or even a threat about their father or a temptation to try and persuade them again. No, he had instead snapped his fingers and teleported them to yet another room in the Fearamid. This one was one of the strangest they had seen—rather than twisting window panes like prison bars and roomy atriums made for partying or gloating, the room was much smaller. It was still on the roomier side, but compared to everything else in the Fearamid, it almost felt… cosy. Homely, even. The walls were still in that dreary, dark brick, and the room was primarily accented in various shades of orange and red, but the strangest part of all had to be the room’s purpose. There was a long dining table, set with a red runner and some placemats. Hell, even a little candelabra sat on its centre. There were cabinets and countertops at one end of the room, and hell, even a fridge. A triangular window, lined with jagged bars again, gave them a pleasant view of the world ending around them.

Bill snapped again, and he was wearing an apron. He sauntered over to the kitchen, humming a flat tune as he summoned a frying pan and turned on the stove to reveal blue fire. He gestured to the kids. “Go on, sit!”

But they couldn’t. Because sitting at the far end of the table was ford restrained with glowing blue chains and wearing the nastiest scowl on his face.

And now Nova and Nikola are having the worst family dinner of their lives.

Nova whips around to face Bill, teeth bared in a snarl. “Let go of our Dad!”

“No can do, sweetheart,” he tuts, waving his spatula in the air. When did he even get a spatula? “Your father’s been very uncooperative as of late.”

“I wonder why…” NIk mutters, but Nova does not snicker like she usually would.

“You’re going to destroy the world! Why do you think?”

“‘Destroying’ is such a strong word! What about improving?”

Nova grits her teeth. It’s taking everything in her right now to try and figure out how to summon a fireball so she can throw it at Bill. She knows that at her current level, she’d lose.

(And here do you think you inherited those powers, anyway?)

“Let him go.”

“I don’t like your tone, missy. Sit down.”

“No.”

“I said sit down,” Bill snaps, and a pair of chains jump up to grab one twin each. They're each dragged by the wrist to their respective seats, and then the chains disappear again. They aren't permanent, like their father’s. Probably because he won’t take us seriously.

“You’re really leaning into the suburbia thing,” Nik tries, going for an awkward smile. Nova has no idea what sort of angle he’s going for here. There’s nothing to smile about in this place. “Any reason?”

Bill lights up. He turns about to face them, leaning against the stove's counter. It would be less ridiculous if he wasn’t, you know, floating. “I’m so glad you asked! You see, I’ve just had a brilliant thought. Why force you all into following my plans”—the food is burning to a crisp—“when I can show you how awesome it would be if we were a nice, big, happy family!”

“Ther’es nothing nice or family-like about this, Cipher,” Ford growls, and Nova’s inclined to agree. Bill just scoffs.

“That’s rich, coming from the guy who didn't even want to call his brother until the very last minute!” Ford’s expression hardens. “But no, no, you go preaching to me about big, happy families.”

“That is none of your business—”

“Uh, durr, I think it is! The issue involved me!”

Nova drags her hands down her face with a groan. Alright, she’s had enough of this. Is this what normal kids get to feel when their parents start to bicker? Suppose theirs don’t usually fight about the end of the world, though. “Stop.”

Bill scoffs. He turns back to his dish, which is most likely ashes at this point. “Sorry, supernova, your father’s being very disagreeable right now.”

“Stop—stop treating me like we’re married—”

“Hey, until the end of time is a very valid form of—”

“—you don’t even care about notions like ‘marriage’ and ‘family—’”

“—it’s called committing to a bit, and I am VERY GOOD AT IT! LAY OFF.”

“Um.” Nik raises his hand. Nova’s impressed at how level-headed he’s managed to be throughout this whole ordeal. He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Why did you decide to commit so hard to ‘the bit,’ then?”

“Weren’t you listening, kid?” Bill crosses his arms. “To show you all how nice of a family we can be!” 

“I’m not sure that requires… roleplaying. As a traditional nuclear family.”

“Well, I decided to try being normal for once. You know,” he turns off the stove, speaking very pointedly in Ford’s direction, “because YOU DON’T LIKE MY WEIRD.”

Ford glares. “For the record, I don’t like this, either.”

“I can’t do anything right around here,” he bemoans, like he’s the victim, and then he swings around to slide the plate of food towards them. It’s rat carcasses. Charred. 

Nova can’t even bring herself to be disappointed, because this is just what she expected. She doesn’t bother touching her plate. Or any of the utensils, for that matter. Say they’re made out of condensed toenails instead of metal? 

She glares at Bill, but doesn’t say another word. Bill meets her eyes and snorts.

“Geez. kids these days! So moody.” He winks at Ford. Or blinks. Or something. ‘Am I right, Fordsy?”

Ford glares at him just the same. Bill’s smile fades. “Ooo-kay, then.”

He takes some of what he cooked and gobbles it down in a split second, eyelids warping to lips as a tongue slips out to lick the whole plate clean. Nova and Nik share a glance across from each other. Yuck. 

Bill’s eye blinks back into place. “Well, what are you waiting for? Eat up!”

Ford and Nova don't move a muscle. Nik courageously (or perhaps cowardly—depends on how you look at it) puts some of it on his plate. He does not make any further move to actually eat. Bill doesn't seem to notice. He launches into another topic instead.

“So how’s school been, kiddo?” he asks, gaze turning to Nik. Nova cringes for him. Nik blinks.

“It’s summer.”

“Oh, right.” Bill backtracks. “How’s summer been, kiddo?”

“You don’t actually care,” Nova mutters. Bill's gaze slowly turns to her instead.

“I care, starling! Look at me asking,” he points out, like he seriously thinks it means something. “No need to be so moody.”

“I am not moody—”

“Look at you, spoiling your brother’s moment. I wanted to ask him his opinion.”

“This is a perfectly normal reaction to you causing the apocalypse—!”

“So how has summer been, kiddo?” Bill asks, even louder. Nova fights to not tear her hair off. Nik’s sympathetic wince to her from across the table does nothing to calm her. 

He looks away. Nik clearly has the willpower of steel to be acting this neutral right now. “Um. Alright. But you tried to hurt our family a lot.”

“Those were just the boring members!” Bill replies, waving him off. His eye stays trained on him. “You guys are VIP. If they want a seat at the table, they’re going to have to earn it.”

“Uh… well—that’s—we shouldn’t…”

And then he trails off into a mumble, Bill puts a hand to one of his sides like he has ears. ‘You’re going to have to speak up, kid!”

Nik sighs. “I’ll just sit closer,” he says.

As he shuffles his chair, he gives Nova an imperceptible nod—barely even there, but Nova knows it when she sees it. Her eyes widen. Ah. That’s his angle.

At the same time that Nik begins sitting closer to Bill and trying his best to hold a conversation with him, Nova shuffles closer to Ford, who has been staring at the rat carcasses miserably like they personally offended him. That's understandable. They personally offended Nova, too.

“Dad. Pops. Dad.” He looks up. Nova stares at him intently, speaking in low tones. “How are we getting you out of there?” 

Ford huffs. “It’s no use, Nova. They’re made with Bill’s magic. I believe the only person who can get rid of them is himself.”

Bill’s magic, huh? Her gaze hardens. She unclenches and unclenches her fist—the four-fingered one. 

“Yeah, well—” She grabs one of the chains connected to the wrist closest to her. “You know what he says. I’ve got a little bit of him in me. I want to try.”

Ford’s face falls. “Nova—”

Out of her and Nik, Nova has always been the one with more of a handle on whatever godly powers they may or may not have fully. Nova’s the one who broke them out of the false dream world they were left in for thirty years. Nova’s the one who starts accidental fires. Nova’s the one Bill tried to appeal to with things he valued, as if she was just a smaller version of him. Her next words, she spits out with a combination of malice and resentment. “I’m better at it than Nik. Just give me a chance.”

Ford’s expression turns into something pained. Wordlessly, he holds out a wrist to Nova. “You can try your best.”

Chaos, the wilder magic, she’s not as confident with. Her own attempts to match her father’s godlike manipulation of reality usually end with nothing happening or with some other unintended consequences. Other abilities—possession—she’s loath to try. There’s something she’s always had a talent for, though—pyrokenisis. Stars burn, after all, and that’s just what Nova is about to do. He snaps her fingers desperately until a spark finally appears. She closes her eyes.

“Nova?”

She takes a deep breath. In. Out. The tiny flame warps into a heated blade like a utility knife, and so she begins working at the chains like a nail file trying to cut down a nail.

Ford watches her work with wide eyes, silent. She grits her teeth. It’s not… working, per se, but it’s denting the metal somewhat. Small wins. She pulls her hand away and there’s only a tiny chink in the chain, a small dent in the shape of where her blade cut in. She groans.

“Stupid—fire—” she goes at it again, pressing harder this time around. “Just work already—”

“Nova, it’s okay.” Ford puts his free hand on hers to stop her. He sighs. “We can figure out some other solution.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO WHISPERING ABOUT OVER THERE,” Bill announces, squinting at them. Nik gives her an apologetic wince.

Nova doesn’t miss a beat. “How annoying you are.”

“You are wayyyyyy more annoying than me, kid,” he scoffs, snapping the seats back into their places. He leans over to Nova this time around, elbows planted on the table and hands clasped over each other. “It’s your turn now, starling. How was your summer?”

Her eye twitches. “Same as Nik’s,” she mutters.

“Really?” His eye flashes with something, and Nova suddenly feels chills up her spine. “That’s hard to believe! You know, considering your whole thing with the powers—”

“I handled them just fine,” she hisses, eyes narrowing. “I’m no different than Nik.”

“Oh, but you two are so different! Nik is nicer. You’re all disagreeable and mean and so, so, grumpy.” He blinks, eye wide and unfeeling. “But I’ve seen how you handle yourself, kid. You’re a lot more like me than four-eyes over here. You should be proud of that.” His eye creases with glee. “There’s no one I like better than myself, after all.”

The whole room falls silent. There’s a sudden pounding in Nova’s head, like static, like thunder. Like him. Like him. Like him, who tormented their father chained up at the end of the table. Like him, who left them for thirty years in a pocket dimension because he simply forgot. Like him, who spends the rest of his time wreaking havoc wherever he goes.

She snarls. “I am nothing like you.”

BIll chuckles. Giggles, even. “Oh, that’s real funny. Cute, even! Honestly, you can stop lying to yourself, I think the resemblance is pretty un—”

“I said I’m nothing like you!”

“—and plus, the fire? I’d be more proud if you got good at the other stuff, too! You’re well on your way to—”

“Bill,” Nik interrupts, voice barely there, He avoids his gaze. “I think you should stop.”

“Aw, how sweet.” He stretches an arm out to pat Nik on the head, condescending. “No.”

Nik grimaces. “Bill—”

“How about you call me Dad and I’ll consider it?” Bill taps his chin. “What about Pops? The Old Man? Dear old Dad?”

“Haven’t been much of a father to them now, have you?” Ford of all people mutters under his breath, and as Bill flashes red the kitchen suddenly falls into a cacophony of noise again.

“Oh, here comes Mr. I-disappeared-for-thirty-years with the receipts—”

“Let me remind you who caused that in the first place—”

“—I’m nothing like you because at least I don’t ruin everything—”

“—Bill, please—”

“You’re all so moral and uppity. Why am I family with a bunch of cops—?”

“No, I think trying to take over the world is a completely valid reason to—”

“—Let Dad go!”

“Stop. Stop—”

The doors burst open. A resounding slam echoes across the room. Everyone freezes.

At the other end of the room is a man in a worn-out, dusty suit wearing a fez. He mutters to himself, annoyed, before looking up and noticing all four members of the dining table staring at him.

Stanley Pines blinks once. And then twice. “What.”

Silence.

And then Bill rolls his eye. “Oh, great! It’s the in-laws!”

A laugh track plays from nowhere. Nova is sure that every single person in the room right now (apart from Bill) is incredibly concerned. Stan stares at the scene with his mouth ajar, his expression a combination of both shocked and also highly disgusted.

“Why are you playing house with my brother and his kids?” he asks, like he’s going to get a normal answer.

“We’re not playing house, we are house.” Bill scoffs. “But you know what? Let’s play a different game.”

His eye glows red, shining out a laser like a prison searchlight.

“Let’s play tag.” He hops out of his chair, growing to a gargantuan size. “I’m it.”

Stan at least has the wisdom to start running. Nova groans.

This is the worst family dinner ever.

[livingvampires]

☹️

[oooo-leanderies]

ok all 16 of you spoke... here comes dreamer ford.,.,.

OR, A SUMMARY:

Ford Pines is dreaming. Bill Cipher has decided there are better ways to get something out of someone, and they involve carrots rather than sticks. It took a little bit of rearranging and a lot of trial-and-error (Ford’s gotten really good at dream-related stuff! Although, Bill supposes that’s his own fault,) but he got it to work in the end! The dream isn’t one he expected to work, but he figured he might as well have some fun with it. Now all he has to do is wait.

[oooo-leanderies]

animatic i did.... because i watched heathers like a month ago.... i am so glad its finally over but also i never usually finish longer projects. soo yayyyy congrats me!!!

[stemmmm]

been thinking about a mixed signals followup

[thoughtless-in-space]

When a God Cries

[scribeherself]

if you're sitting on a fanfic idea because you think it's "too weird" or "too niche" I need you to understand something: the internet is VAST and FULL of people with your exact brand of weird. that crackship that makes sense only to you? there are at least 50 people who will read it and go "oh my god FINALLY." but even if there were ZERO? you still deserve to write the thing that makes your brain light up.

[oooo-leanderies]

I finished the dreamer ford au fic cover but i only have 4 and a half chapters prepared... but also i really want to post the art... decisions decisions....

do i...?

post the fic with the cover

just post the art

wait!!! wait!!!! dont!!!

Voting ended onJul 15

[oooo-leanderies]

I FEAR I NEVER POSTED THIS ANYWHERE... i was digging through old stuff and found thissss. This dates back to like whne I got back into drv3 last year and i never posted it bcs i was gonna do everyone but i never did </3 training trio was gonna be next. And YES this au was gonna have oumota undertones

[oooo-leanderies]

3 for 3 yapping about dreamer AU today but I got the sudden abrupt thought of like. Given that Bill made a puppet Stan who I assume is on positive terms with Ford since he was included it’s like

Stan and Ford didn’t go into Weirdmageddon on good terms. Does Ford emerge from the coma, notice Stan’s energy and be like ??? :( what’s wrong. Or even like aw shit are we not friends in real life :/

How do you respond to your twin’s memories being overridden with another fake version of you that he does get along with?? Fucking crazy being Stan, man

3 FOR 3!!! and yeah. um. great thought good thinking <- guy who also doesn't know why bill decided on that. maybe it's half parts bill fashioning up the dream and half parts the rest of ford's mind being relied on to fill in the gaps because maybe he wants to be friends with his brother again who knows... did bill write that in or did he rely on ford's mind to characterise the puppet... hm... guess we'll never know...

CRAZY BEING STAN ABSOLUTELY. i think when ford does regain awareness within the dream he probably begins to gradually re-catch himself up on "oh yeah we aren't getting along at this point" so hopefully not as much whiplash upon waking up but still probably a little bit "man this is reallyw eird after all the fake stuff that happened." STAN THOUGH... thats fucked up man. imagine resenting a dream puppet because he lwk has what you want but at the same time does that mean ford is willing to get along with you again or??? what??? what does this mean???

in an alternative scenario where the pines do a dream break-in, this would probably happen in dreamland instead. which hey i mean that makes outside time the extra time to maybe even address all that, or even the time in dreamland to be the time to awkwardly side-eye each other, but yeah!!! whiplash. it's all whiplash.

[thoughtless-in-space]

Heheh I mean I assume Ford has always kinda missed Stan >:333 Ford’s own mind putting his two cents into the dream to specifically long for his brother again is equal parts really funny and really cute and really sad JFHSJHFF. I assumed Bill was just like ‘oh yeah he wants his brother so if I wanna make the world perfect so he doesn’t suspect a thing I’ll just dump that guy in there too’ but Ford’s own subconscious is crazzyyyy also >:33

HDHJSHDHDG crazy being Ford you’ve been on good terms with your brother for 30 years and suddenly you’re not anymore. Even with a few weeks of cool down time that’s gotta. That’s gotta rip your heart out all over again tbh.

Stan 😭😭 Stanley “I want my brother back” Pines after watching his twin get gaslit briefly into thinking they were super close again then waking up and now his memories of you are all jumbled and he’s been hanging out with an alternative, not real version of you for YEARS in his perception.

In a case where they go into the dream to break Ford out Stan is gonna have to watch his brother be bothered by his puppet self whilst he fights his own awareness like Sighhh ohkayyy Stan isn’t real (imagine he says to real Stan that he’s not real fhdhdjhdf) and like. Idk the family could fight their own puppet selves to rescue Ford that could be fun. Your twisted fun house mirror self is holding your twin hostage on behalf of the demon who’s been trying to take over the world. Normal family things

[oooo-leanderies]

YEAHHHH HAHAHA i was split between both options but ig its kind of like a bit of both maybe... the thing is i just assumed bill thinks stan is so unimportant that he probably wouldnt even want to include him anyways 💀 but now he's gotta. For the wish fulfilment aspect. He's not sure why would ever need the 'off-brand defective clone' but whateverrrr guess ford cares about family deep down... hmph... thats so lame... <- speech bubble bill

In the case where we have a dream break-in... Stan is absolutely watching that bro. Entire Pines family live reaction not clickbait as the puppets start crawling out like broken toys or something and its like "EWWW EWW WHO ARE THESE IMPOSTERS OF US.... WHAT..." because he puppets probably end up getting more uncanny as ford attempts to break out. Rip to you guys i guess </3 AND IMAGINE IF HE DID SAY THAT TO STAN. "Youre not even real!!" Wrong one buddy this one's real. Awkward

FIGHTING THEIR OWN PUPPET SELVES WOULD BE SO FUN... obligatory cartoon "fighting your evil clone" episode but the evil clones are working for the big bad demon here for a dream-hostage situation. Damn. This is Pines average tuesday I guess

[thoughtless-in-space]

HDHJSGSBDF he didn’t include Stan but then Ford was like :( where brother? And either manifested or moped about and now Bill has to include his least favourite Pines in the equation lmao. Truly an ever-suffering demon. Who is not projecting about the loss of his own family surely

OMGGGG what a horror scenario that’s awful for them 😭😭 but brilliant for me Teeheehee it’s like oh I just Donkey Konged my way up a pyramid for this shit smfh why is this thing here. Ewwww who isss that!! Fordddd what the helllll

Mmmmmm the mortifying ordeal of the perfect dreamworld your estranged twin had made to contain him also involves a version of you :)) no big feelings here. And he’s been so involved that Ford feels the need to specify that he doesn’t think you’re real :))) really great for the paragon of mental health Mr Mystery

Bwahahaha honestly I just imagined like yknow how the original storyboard had Dipper snap Dippy Fresh’s neck?? I imagined him doing that to the puppet HFHDHHDFHF

BY THE WAY about the dreams and dream world…. Is it a one time thing? Or is it a dream he’ll end up back in any time he sleeps in weirdmageddon?? Do all his dreams look like this forever?? I’m assuming it’s one time only but can you fucking imagine

[oooo-leanderies]

Fords dreaming but everyone else is going through a NIGHTMARE bro </3 (not that it isnt also a nightmare scenario for him once he realises)

DIPPER IS ABSOLUTELY OBLITERATING HIS IMPOSTER HGSGSHSH he is going to destroy it like he never did with dippy fresh. Second time in the apocalypse you have to deal with a dollar store knockoff version of you 😭

The dream as I've put it in my head is very much your classic one time thing that lasts as long as I need it to for whatever plot things I want to happen BUT THE CONCEPT OF IT BEING A REPEATING THING.... OHHH BOY. it isnt repeating but you are so right. Imagine after you fake dreamworld trope scenario yoi get to see it again. And again. And again. Even after the apocalypse. Could you fucking imagine.

[oooo-leanderies]

3 for 3 yapping about dreamer AU today but I got the sudden abrupt thought of like. Given that Bill made a puppet Stan who I assume is on positive terms with Ford since he was included it’s like

Stan and Ford didn’t go into Weirdmageddon on good terms. Does Ford emerge from the coma, notice Stan’s energy and be like ??? :( what’s wrong. Or even like aw shit are we not friends in real life :/

How do you respond to your twin’s memories being overridden with another fake version of you that he does get along with?? Fucking crazy being Stan, man

3 FOR 3!!! and yeah. um. great thought good thinking <- guy who also doesn't know why bill decided on that. maybe it's half parts bill fashioning up the dream and half parts the rest of ford's mind being relied on to fill in the gaps because maybe he wants to be friends with his brother again who knows... did bill write that in or did he rely on ford's mind to characterise the puppet... hm... guess we'll never know...

CRAZY BEING STAN ABSOLUTELY. i think when ford does regain awareness within the dream he probably begins to gradually re-catch himself up on "oh yeah we aren't getting along at this point" so hopefully not as much whiplash upon waking up but still probably a little bit "man this is reallyw eird after all the fake stuff that happened." STAN THOUGH... thats fucked up man. imagine resenting a dream puppet because he lwk has what you want but at the same time does that mean ford is willing to get along with you again or??? what??? what does this mean???

in an alternative scenario where the pines do a dream break-in, this would probably happen in dreamland instead. which hey i mean that makes outside time the extra time to maybe even address all that, or even the time in dreamland to be the time to awkwardly side-eye each other, but yeah!!! whiplash. it's all whiplash.

[thoughtless-in-space]

Heheh I mean I assume Ford has always kinda missed Stan >:333 Ford’s own mind putting his two cents into the dream to specifically long for his brother again is equal parts really funny and really cute and really sad JFHSJHFF. I assumed Bill was just like ‘oh yeah he wants his brother so if I wanna make the world perfect so he doesn’t suspect a thing I’ll just dump that guy in there too’ but Ford’s own subconscious is crazzyyyy also >:33

HDHJSHDHDG crazy being Ford you’ve been on good terms with your brother for 30 years and suddenly you’re not anymore. Even with a few weeks of cool down time that’s gotta. That’s gotta rip your heart out all over again tbh.

Stan 😭😭 Stanley “I want my brother back” Pines after watching his twin get gaslit briefly into thinking they were super close again then waking up and now his memories of you are all jumbled and he’s been hanging out with an alternative, not real version of you for YEARS in his perception.

In a case where they go into the dream to break Ford out Stan is gonna have to watch his brother be bothered by his puppet self whilst he fights his own awareness like Sighhh ohkayyy Stan isn’t real (imagine he says to real Stan that he’s not real fhdhdjhdf) and like. Idk the family could fight their own puppet selves to rescue Ford that could be fun. Your twisted fun house mirror self is holding your twin hostage on behalf of the demon who’s been trying to take over the world. Normal family things

[oooo-leanderies]

YEAHHHH HAHAHA i was split between both options but ig its kind of like a bit of both maybe... the thing is i just assumed bill thinks stan is so unimportant that he probably wouldnt even want to include him anyways 💀 but now he's gotta. For the wish fulfilment aspect. He's not sure why would ever need the 'off-brand defective clone' but whateverrrr guess ford cares about family deep down... hmph... thats so lame... <- speech bubble bill

In the case where we have a dream break-in... Stan is absolutely watching that bro. Entire Pines family live reaction not clickbait as the puppets start crawling out like broken toys or something and its like "EWWW EWW WHO ARE THESE IMPOSTERS OF US.... WHAT..." because he puppets probably end up getting more uncanny as ford attempts to break out. Rip to you guys i guess </3 AND IMAGINE IF HE DID SAY THAT TO STAN. "Youre not even real!!" Wrong one buddy this one's real. Awkward

FIGHTING THEIR OWN PUPPET SELVES WOULD BE SO FUN... obligatory cartoon "fighting your evil clone" episode but the evil clones are working for the big bad demon here for a dream-hostage situation. Damn. This is Pines average tuesday I guess

[thoughtless-in-space]

Artfight Round 4: Sweet Dreams are Made of This (My Lying Ex Triangle's Gaslighting)!

For @oooo-leanderies and his awesome Dreamer AU! Well, that's one way to get an equation!

Higher Res version can be seen Here!

[oooo-leanderies]

EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS RN ITS SO PEAK NO JOKE!!!!!!

[oooo-leanderies]

Unfinished dreamer ford thing because I’m impatient and also tired. His sleeping ass…