Duality

Kiah // Keeping this page alive in reminiscent of the dark days // Music. nature. radical behaviorism. psychology. of spontaneous and mundane life.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[ootorodesu]

lol doesn’t hurt to try

[ootorodesu]

dissecting this morning’s dream - courtesy of dreammoods

I am the one chasing: “the dream may highlight drive and ambition to go after something you want.” it may also mean that “you are falling behind in some aspect of your life and are having to catch up with others”. makes sense because I was chasing someone to show my work (or whatever specific thing it was in the dream, which I don’t remember), and I was shot down. I didn’t make it on time. which brings me to

being late:

edit: 4/2/2022

idk what year I started this, I just never got to finish it

[ootorodesu]

I suppose no man really comes home from the war. Not really.

I forgot where it was from. Something I was watching a long time ago

[rattystarlings]

Dandelions flowering brilliantly in the willow plantation

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Conditions are never perfect. “Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. If it’s important to you, and you want to do it “eventually”, just do it - and correct your course along the way.”

— Tim Ferriss

[bled]

[muneeera-a-deactivated20200705]

what if everything you are going through is preparing you for what you’ve asked for?

[ootorodesu]

i would like to think so

[ootorodesu]

clammy hands, sweaty space behind the knees popliteal fossa is what it’s called, apparently. I never knew that, except now I had a reason to look it up. for this would happen, again and maybe again, when that panic sets in.

it’s not what keeps me up most nights however adds to the preoccupation. a commonplace occurrence in a silent world filled with excessive worry. the incessant gush of unwanted thoughts would fill, and spill unto the rest of my being.

it is within these moments when a familiar beat wakes up my senses - I am safe. I am surrounded with the warmth of my own touch. I am reminded to breathe. feeling my pulse rapid or slow, no matter, still counting along with it. I listen to the familiar beat traveling through my ear, to my mind. comfort is here, but one must be ready.

nights like this would come, whether asleep or awake. I am alone in it yet there is a courage I find through solely facing the darkness. or is it really that I am completely alone? until the next fear comes.

[nemfrog]

“The little dot we live on.” The Book of knowledge. v. 7. 1912.

Internet Archive

[aeontriad]

Texts From Your Existentialist

[nunamu]

jun ji hyun | kingdom season II finale 

[ootorodesu]

can’t wait for season 3!!

[westieronto]

How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”

[thefemcritique]

The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around

[pardonmewhileipanic]

pls watch

honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me

[mttheww]

Dorothy:  Dr. Budd?

Dr. Budd:  Yes?

Dorothy:  You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick.  Do you remember?  You told me I was just getting old.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sorry, I really don’t–

Dorothy:  Remember.  Maybe you’re getting old.  That’s a little joke.  Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick.  I have chronic fatigue syndrome.  That is a real illness.  You can check with the Center for Disease Control.

Dr. Budd:  Huh.  Well, I’m sorry about that.

Dorothy:  Well, I’m glad!  At least I know I have something.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sure.  Well, nice seeing you.

Dorothy:  Not so fast.  There are some things I have to say.  There are a lot of things that I have to say.  Words can’t express what I have to say.  [tearing up]  What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.

Dr. Budd:  Good!

Dorothy:  But I will!

Dr. Budd’s date:  Louis, who is this person?

Dr. Budd:  Look, Miss–

Dorothy:  Sit.  I sat for you long enough.  Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me.  You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up.  You dismissed me!  You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time.  Is that your caring profession?  Is that healing?  No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one.  I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.

Dr. Budd:  Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–

Dr. Budd’s date:  Shut up, Louis.

Dorothy:  I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it.  You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else.  You’d better start listening to your patients.  They need to be heard.  They need caring.  They need compassion.  They need attending to.  You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.

[jennytrout]

Reblogging for any of my mutuals who’ve ever dealt with Dr. Budd.

[llovinghome]

[6thlovelanguage-deactivated2020]

urban loneliness

1. edward hopper

2. Olivia Laing

3. Gueorgui Pinkhassov

4. Holly Warburton

[harvestheart]

[sashayed]

me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

the world: ok here is an Opportunity

me:

[ootorodesu]

just came to a realization that I’ve plateaued. this is it for me. and it’s only downhill from here. my apathy, on the other hand, just grows and grows, intersecting with the trend of obscurity and nothingness. i’m done for.