An Awful Tempest

25| Capricorn| "Go get your education, don't forget from whence you came."

[strange-aeons]

send me your best/worst uquizzes

[nocountryforlesbians]

head not empty, many abstract uncommunicatable thoughts

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

every word out of guillermo del toro’s mouth is the most hardcore thing i’ve ever heard and he says it all so casually like he doesn’t even realize how much of a gothic visionary he is 

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

“Since childhood, I’ve been faithful to monsters. I have been saved and absolved by them, because monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing”

I STILL THINK ABOUT THIS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

[oscarwildeboytoy-deactivated201]

Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

[kamorth]

I just wanna add to clarify the psychosomatic thing.

That word DOES NOT MEAN you’re making it up. It doesn’t mean you’re imagining the symptom. What it means is that the symptom ISN’T DIRECTLY CAUSED BY ANY OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD NORMALLY CAUSE IT.

I fought to get a PCOS diagnosis for 2 and a half years. For the ENTIRE time I was fighting, I was dealing with 3 cysts that were not going away by themselves and eventually required surgery to remove. At one point close to the end of the battle, I suddenly went blind. I was visiting my parents and was standing on the veranda looking out over the tree we had planted in memory of my dog and suddenly I got one of the shooting pains that I was quite frankly used to at that point and my vision started to go dark. It was like the sun was setting while being completely hidden behind storm clouds but it was 2pm in the middle of Summer on a clear day. Within about 30 seconds I couldn’t see ANYTHING. I was 27 years old and I was screaming for my mother.

My mum raced me to her doctor (he was a 15 minute drive away as opposed to 45 minutes to the nearest hospital) and he quickly worked out that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and what had happened was totally unrelated to them. Then he said it was psychosomatic and I freaked out, yelling that I was NOT making this up and I definitely wasn’t imagining it. Very quickly he calmed me down and said he believed me and I had misunderstood. He explained that whatever was going on with my abdominal pains (he suggested PCOS which I hadn’t even heard of at that point) had been ignored for so long that my body was starting to do things other than the normal pain response to try to draw my attention to the problem. My sight going was my body basically jumping around in front of me going “HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME HELLLOOOOOOO??????”

He gave me some prescription strength painkillers and my sight started to come back as soon as they started to kick in. About 45 minutes after it started I could see well enough to walk around without help and within a day and a half I was back to normal. On top of that I finally had a scan booked to figure out what the hell was causing all the pain.

Psychosomatic symptoms are NOT imagined or fabricated or happening for “no reason”. Experiencing them DOES NOT make you a liar. It makes you someone who has been battling with something serious for so long that your own body has started to get impatient with you.

[oscarwildeboytoy-deactivated201]

I completely agree. Thank you for sharing this.

[antique-scarecrow]

Psychosomatic symptoms are literally your body flipping random alarm switches just to get any alarm blaring because you’ve been ignoring the regular ones

[seethestarsalittlecloser]

I don’t usually add to posts but I thought it was important to add that this 100% goes for mental health, too.

When I was 18, only a few months after graduating from high school, I started having seizures. Serious, triggered at the drop of a hat, knock me unconscious for an hour or more and leave me dazed for days kind of seizures.

I was rushed to hospital two or three times within the space of a week after passing out in the middle of cooking dinner or talking with my family, but the hospital could not find anything wrong with me. I spent a week in the hospital in a planned admission, connected to an EEG monitor for 23 hours a day with the doctors hoping to catch my seizures in action and finally figure out what they were. I don’t know how many seizures I had during that week, but at the end of it, they said that even after all that, there was nothing wrong with me. After that, they sent me to a psychologist.

I was diagnosed with PNES - Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Siezures. Essentially, it was explained to me, I had been ignoring my anxiety and PTSD for so long that my body was acting out just like @kamorth ’s had. When they started treating me for anxiety and PTSD, my siezures eventually turned into panic or anxiety attacks, and then stopped altogether.

The moral of the story is don’t ignore pain. Whether it be physical, mental, whatever. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong and it has ways of making you listen to it eventually. Some of those ways are seriously disabling and once you get to that stage, it can be a long road to recovery.

[lifewithchronicpain-original]

Just because therapy might be helpful for some psychosomatic symptoms doesn’t mean it was fake. It means your treatment worked.

[dduane]

This. And a half. With bells on.

[cranquis]

If you are a #medblr, you need to read this post and LEARN FROM IT.

The way the doctor in the first story (blindness, PCOS) explained “psychosomatic” in such clear simple terms is EXCELLENT PATIENT CARE.

[leehallfae]

idiot brain: ever since u learned that stimming is a thing that adhd/autistic ppl do youve been doing it more. this means u are faking

rational brain: finding out that its normal made u feel better abt expressing ur emotions that way and helped u feel more comfortable doing something tht comes naturally to u, thats why youre doing it more

[anxietyproblem]

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

[beardaxemcbreadhobnob]

decadence….

[podcastwizard]

i understand from an artistic perspective why the four nations are color coded but imagine if that was just like...a thing in real life. like if you went to canada and everyone was wearing purple and you just had to live with that.

[ophiliaanne]

it was a thing in real life too!! cultures that were very isolated would only have access to dyestuffs native to their area

my favorite example is the aran islands in ireland. they were self sufficient at the start of the 20th century and everyone pretty much wore the same things in the same colors—women wore madder red wool petticoats and jackets, blue stockings, and tartan shawls. men wore several layers of undyed or blue flannel waistcoats and pants. so yeah, some cultures actually do the color-coding!

and also! the colors in atla make sense! most vibrant red dyes are native to tropical regions, and the fire nation is shown to be very hot and humid

woad (blue) is particularly cold hardy so it’s perfect for the polar water tribes

the best greens are usually made of a combination of a blue and a yellow dye so it works for earth kingdom aka the largest nation. more land=more native plant species!

and as for air nomads, since they aren’t agricultural and are all about balance, they would either trade with earth kingdom for their yellows, or use turmeric which doubles as a spice. theyre also vegetarian so they could use their leftover scraps like carrots and onion skins for orange tones

so yeah i know the point of the post was to say this would be really weird irl but it’s totally realistic and i think that’s neat!

[skypalacearchitect]

#im sorry i just really love clothing trivia

#also certain mollusks can make blues too but i just love woad

#this also explains why the swamp benders in the earth kingdom wear green

[charmedatlaw]

IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL

this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer

[charmedatlaw]

Again:

1. The law doesn't care how long your parents and family have been out of your life

2. The law doesn't care about your long term friends or "found family"

If you don't have legal documents that say otherwise, your biological family calls all the shots.

This goes especially for LGBTQ+. Please do not get deadnamed in your obituary.

[the-final-sif]

How to make a will.

How to make a living will (Advance Healthcare Directive) so you don’t get fucked over by biological family if you end up in a situation where you cannot make your own healthcare choices.

[pyroinfusedtiger]

If youre trans, this video is a good ref to start with and she provides links and organizations that can help

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

[apisashla]

reblog if attacking fascism is really the hill you want to die on

[alpine-insurrection]

this is literally like one of the most justified and honorable hills you could die on??? lol??

[harostar]

[steveandbucky]

turkey and azerbaijan are attacking armenia right now, and it's 1915 all over again because the world is distracted and people are too busy wondering if they're gonna live or die, and who gives a shit about my country anyway? my mum told me to tell my friends and explain to them what's happening and that we are the victims in this war because azerbaijan is spreading lies and people are believing their lies and i told her, what good is that going to do? do you think anyone's going to come to our aid? is russia going to help us? is america? is england? erdogan said they will finish what their ancestors started, and he means genocide. he means ethnic cleansing. he means to massacre every last one of us. and in doing so admitted to the very same thing turkey has spent 105 years denying. i don't know who to tell and what good telling people will do because we're a small, insignificant country, and we have nothing to offer to the people in power, the handful who rule the world. so i sit here with my pain and i feel helpless. i know there's twitter threads and links to petitions and people being urged to contact their senators, and sorry if im being pessimistic, but azerbaijan has been attacking us for the last 22 years, and though we defend ourselves, we can't do anything to stop them. they've violated ceasefires (and geneva conventions) multiple times. i don't think they'll rest until every last one of us is dead.

we just want peace. we just want to live peacefully. we're not asking for a lot here.

[steveandbucky]

hey either reblog this or unfollow me

[az-a-thot]

Watching this happen I've been so scared there is going to be another genocide and nobody would notice. My whole life I've hated how forgettable armenian people seem to be to the world. Protect armenian people or rot, please don't turn a blind eye to us again. And same as above, reblog or unfollow.

[oracuyc]

here are some cold hard facts for those interested:

1. after losing the war in 1994, the az government spent the next nearly 30 years on a) dehumanizing armenians, b) blaming armenians and losing the war for the terrible socioeconomic state of the people in this oil-rich country while president and his family steal all of the money their oil produces, c) pushing armenophobic propaganda on the population since kindergarten age, d) oppressing and humiliating the other ethnic minorities living on its territories, e) regularly violating the ceasefire of 1994 whenever the internal situation get tense and the ppl get angry, f) selectively sending the youths of said ethnic minorities to the bloodiest parts of the frontline whenever said ceasefire violations happen, g) suppressing free speech, arresting journalists, harassing and threatening those who dare to voice their discontent, etc.

2. in early 1920s, josef stalin, in order to appease the new turkish "republic" and its leader ataturk, with the hopes of using turkey as the base for spreading the communist revolution further into asia, passed artsakh (also known as nagorno karabagh) with its 95% ethnic armenian population onto the new created turkic azerbaijan republic (a country that did not exist before 1918, that's what newly created means), despite the opposition from the people of the region in question and the republic of armenia.

3. during the 70 or so years that artsakh was part of the azerbaijan republic as an autonomous region, the gov of azerbaijan did everything they could to a) suppress the development of the region, b) change the demographic of the region by moving turkic population to artsakh

4. in 1980s, the people of artsakh, utilizing their rights stipulated in the soviet constitution, petitioned both moscow and baku to be allowed to reunite with armenia. as a response to this, the azerbaijan government started large-scale repressions against the organizers and activists of the reunification movement. arrests on made up charges, threats and violence followed (more info on all that in the link provided below)

5. the people of artsakh then held a referendum as was their right under soviet constitution, and more than 90% of it's population voted in favor of seceding from the azerbaijan republic. the response to this were the anti-armenian pogroms in baku and sumgait ( https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1990-01-18-mn-305-story.html)

Alexander Gulanerian heard the mob pounding down the hall seconds before his door was broken down and they stormed in, brandishing knives, b

6. all this grew into the first artsakh war, which azerbaijan lost, as mentioned in point 1.

to sum it up: artsakh was never a part of the independent azerbaijan republic, during it's brief 70-year forced az control its indigenous armenian people were oppressed via various government policies, the people of artsakh deserve to live a free and happy life in their homeland, free of threats and fear of annihilation that is sure to happen if azerbaijan takes control of the region

to them, it's just a territory and they want that territory without the people.

for further reading, check out this comprehensive timeline of the artsakh history up to 2017( when it was written)

https://www.evnreport.com/spotlight-karabakh/spotlight-karabakh

then, this: on what actually happens to armenian lands and cultural heritage when it's in azerbaijani hands

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/story/2019-11-07/armenian-monuments-azerbaijan

Historic Armenian monuments were obliterated. Some call it 'cultural genocide'

For centuries the sacred khachkars of Djulfa stood tall along the banks of the River Aras — hulking and ornately carved 16th-century headsto

while you are at it, read up on the armenian genocide and keep in mind that turkey, specifically for this war, moved syrian jihadists to azerbaijan to fight against armenia and artsakh. read up on the kind of internationally banned ammunition azerbaijan has been using against the civilians in artsakh capital, and then maybe make your judgement.

oh, and if anyone tries to frame this as an islam vs christianity thing, send them to hell, regardless of the side they claim to support, bc this isn't it.

[mybulletsurlove]

ah yes, the three genders: the broken, the beaten, and the damned

[dramioneficindex]

Dramione Fic Index ~ Title #

Title: 01:15 Author: Nathaniel Cardeu Rating: M15 Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 3 Word Count: 9,972 Summary: They swore it was over… but in the dark, loneliness of the night, resolve is a strange thing… Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: July 25, 2011 Completed: August 4, 2011 Relationship: Breakup/Together Again Themes: Alcohol, Apologies [Draco], Rain Hermione: Bossy, Emotional Locations: Diagon Alley, Hermione’s Flat/House, Hogsmeade, Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa Friendships: Draco & Adrian, Draco & Blaise, Draco & Goyle, Draco & Theo Characters: Adrian Pucey, Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Theodore Nott

Title: 1001 Nights of Pride Author: Red Wicked Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Angst Chapters: 14 Word Count: 55,463 Summary: She needs money. He offers it to her in exchange of one night spent with him. Malfoy believes all women are rotten, Hermione believes Malfoy has no heart. Tables turn when the truth comes out, and unrequited love is bringing them both to dark places. Status: Complete Timeline: Post Hogwarts/Post War Published: July 22, 2011 Completed: July 19, 2014 Relationship: Secret Feelings Themes: One Night Stand, Contracts/Deals, Blackmail, Unrequited Love  [Draco], Misunderstanding, Draco is Hermione’s Boss, Co Workers Office Partners, Travel [Iceland], Potions, Jealousy [Hermione], Based on other Book or Movie Plot, Revenge, News and Gossip Draco: Cruel, Protective/Possessive, CEO, Potions Master Hermione: Cruel, Dark, Enchantress, Potions Master Side Pairings: Theo/Luna, Draco/Astoria Friendships: Draco & Theo, Hermione & Luna Characters: Theo Nott, Luna Lovegood, Mrs. Granger, Other Characters, Astoria Greengrass Warnings: Extreme Sexual Situations, Profanity, Kink

Title: 10 Relationship Words That Don’t Translate Author: l0stinl0ve Rating: T Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,346 Summary: There are several words in other languages that don’t translate into  English. Here is a story that follows the relationship of Hermione and Draco as they show and live the meanings of these words. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 1, Year 4, War, Year 8, Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: November 18, 2011 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point), Friendship, Lucius Approves/is Nice, Narcissa Approves/Is Nice Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Cassiopeia, Scorpius] Themes: Meet the Parents Locations: Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa, Harry/Ginny Characters: Albus Severus Potter, Ginny Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy

Title: 10 Years Later Author: aForgottenWeasley Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Friendship Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,667 Summary: Hermione’s Hogwarts reunion is coming up and she hasn’t seen her friends for ten years. How will they take it when they find out she not only has a daughter, but she married the man they all grew up hating? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: February 5, 2012 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Siria] Themes: Reunion [Hogwarts] Draco: Redeemed Locations: Hogwarts Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Lavender Characters: Filius Flitwick, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Ron Weasley

Title: 100 Minus 99 Ways to Drive Draco Malfoy Insane Author: EllieLove  Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,770 Summary: After Hermione and Draco spend all of Potions nagging each other, Snape gets fed up and gives them a detention. The tension is heavy between them during detention, and when Snape leaves the two rivals alone for a while, a very interesting event occurs. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6 Fest/Exchange: Reverse Challenge 2010 (Hawthorn & Vine) Alternate Links: ff.net Published: June 18, 2010 Themes: Detention Draco: Snarky Hermione: Feisty Locations: Potions Class Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape Warnings: Mild Profanity, OOC

Title: 101 Ways to Woo Hermione Granger Author: KatDiva Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,163 Summary: Draco attempts to woo and win back a relunctant Hermione via OWL messages in time for Valentine’s Day. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Holiday: Valentine’s Published: February 13, 2007 Relationship: Breakup/Together Again, Engaged/Married (At Some Point) Themes: Letters Draco: Snarky Character Point of View/POV: Draco

Title: 12 Days of Christmas: Dramione style Author: X-Midnight-Lady-X  Rating: K+ Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 14 Word Count: 13,258 Summary: A re-written 12 Days of Christmas in a Dramione style. Everyday from Boxing Day onwards, Hermione receives mysterious presents from a secret admirer. AU Obviously, 7th year Heads. First chapter is a poem/song Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: December 25, 2010 Completed: January 16, 2011 Themes: Events/Celebrations [Masquerade], Head Boy/Head Girl, Jewellery, Presents/Gift Giving [From Draco to Hermione] Draco: Redeemed Locations: Great Hall, Heads’ Common Room, Hogwarts Library Side Pairings: Blaise/Luna, Harry/Ginny Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Hermione & Ginny Characters: Blaise Zabini, Dobby, Filius Flitwick, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood,Parvati Patil, Ron Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid

Title: 12 Months of Malfoy Author: LoveBugOC Rating: K  Genre(s): Romance, General Chapters: 2 Word Count: 11,721 Summary: It takes 12 months of living with the egotistical, pompous prat to realize she sort of…likes it. One-Shot made into a Two-Parter. Status: Complete Timeline: War, AU Published: March 3, 2012  Relationship: Breakup/Together Again, Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship, Friendship Themes: Injuries [Draco & Hermione], Music [Hermione plays the piano] Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Protective/Possessive, Redeemed Locations: Grimmauld Place, Malfoy Manor, Shell Cottage Characters: Bellatrix Lestrange, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan Featured Holidays: Christmas/New Year’s, Valentine’s Day

Title: 17 Years Later Author: LiveLoveLaugh14 Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Family Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,245 Summary: It’s 17 years after the war and time for the new 1st years to board the Hogwarts Train. What has become of the Gryffindor Golden Girl? Ron Weasley finds out the hard way. Dramione Family One-Shot. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE  Published: January 1, 2012 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Amaré, Daemon, Scorpius] Themes: Reunion [Other] Draco: Redeemed Locations: King’s Cross Station Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny Characters: Ron Weasley Anti-Characters: Anti-Ron Additional Notes: Scorpius is misspelled as “Scorpious”

Title: 23 Positions In a One Night Stand Author: snapes_goddess Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 2 Word Count: 5,031 Summary: Draco and Hermione make a friendly wager. Inspired by the song Get Off By Prince. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: October 29, 2008  Completed: October 31, 2008 Themes: Baths/Showers, Bets/Wagers, Endearments/Pet Names Draco: Redeemed, Sex God Locations: Malfoy Manor, Other Bars/Clubs/Pubs Characters: Lucius Malfoy

Title: 365 Days of Granger Author: LoveBugOC Rating: K+/T Genre(s): Romance, Angst Chapters: 1 Word Count: 7,712 Summary: It takes him 365 days to realize what he should’ve known all along.  Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: December 29, 2011 Relationship: Friendship Themes: Draco’s Dark Mark, Endearments/Pet Names, Hermione’s Mudblood Scar, Injuries [Draco & Hermione], Jealousy Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Order Member, Redeemed Hermione: Bossy, Feisty Locations: Shell Cottage Side Pairings: Ron/Hermione Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Voldemort Warnings: Cursing

Title: 69 Down Author: unseenlibrarian Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): PWP Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,300 Summary: Auror Malfoy is on a stakeout with Auror Granger, and they are bored to tears. What to do, what to do?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: dramione_duet 2015 Published: November 3, 2015 Completed: November 3, 2015 Themes: Co Workers Office Partners, Working Undercover Draco: Auror Hermione: Auror Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations 

Title: 7 First Kisses Author: leopion Rating: MT Genre(s): Adventure, Angst, Romance Chapters: 7 Word Count: 26,688 Summary: People say that the first kiss is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but perhaps it’s not always true. An alternate ending to DH. Dramione Couple Remix Round 1 - Henry/Lucy (50 First Dates) Status: Complete Timeline: War, AU Fest/Exchange: dramione_remix Alternate Links: ff.net  Published: October 14, 2011 Themes: Curses/Spells, Magical Creatures, Time Travel Draco: Death Eater, Redeemed Hermione: Know-It-All Locations: Room of Requirement Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Bellatrix Lestange, Ginny Weasley, Gregory Goyle, Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Molly Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy, Nymphadora Tonks, Percy Weasley, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Vincent Crabbe, Voldemort, Yaxley

[dramioneficindex]

Dramione Fic Index ~ Title I

Title: I’ll Be Here, If You Need Me  Author: whoops.dramione  Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,480  Summary: “Malfoy!” Hermione called. Draco stopped for a second and turned around. “I’ll be here, if you need me.” Hermione announced awkwardly. “If you need me, I’ll be here.” Draco gave a sharp nod before stalking away moodily. Dramione oneshot  Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Holiday: Christmas Published: August 16, 2015   Completed: August 16, 2015  Relationship: Friendship, Secret Feelings Themes: Secret Friendship, Tutoring, Apologies [Draco], Disguises [Hermione] Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Compassionate Locations: Hogwarts Lobrary  Characters: Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott 

Title: I Am Not Pansy Parkinson Author: BlackBloodedMagic Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,231 Summary: I am not Pansy Parkinson. I mean, how could you possibly confuse us? Aside from the numerous IQ points which differ between us, and her, frankly alarming, range of sneers and taunts, I will just never be Pansy Parkinson. Because Pansy Parkinson is perfect. Not in a personality way, clearly, but physically? Yeah. …What a bitch. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: December 30, 2012 Relationship: Boyfriend/Girlfriend Themes: Jealousy Character Point of View/POVs: Hermione

Title: I Am Wolf Author: LadyFreak  Rating: M Genre(s): Hurt/Confort, Angst Chapters: 22 Word Count: 38,217  Summary: Separated from Ron and Harry, Hermione is kidnapped and then sent to the Burrow when thought to be dead. Who will save her? Why is Lupin crying? Who is the wolf running alongside her in her dreams? HGDM, RLSS, AU/AR Angst, M/F, M/M, Violence Rated M for violence, creature fic, complete Status: Complete Timeline: War  Published: July 4, 2012  Completed: July 8, 2012  Pregnancy/Children: Children [Cassiopeia, Scorpius] Themes: Soulmates, Bonding, Kidnapping and Imprisonment [Hermione], Abuse and Assault [Draco & Hermione], Injuries [Hermione], Magical Creatures [Werewolves], Battle of Hogwarts, Dreams [Draco & Hermione], Ministry and Politics Draco: Death Eater, Spy, Turncoat, Werewolf  Hermione: Order Member, Werewolf Side Pairings: Remus/Snape Friendships: Draco & Snape, Hermione & Harry Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Fenir Greyback Character Deaths: Remus Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations 

Title: I Can Fly!  Author: ShagmeDraco  Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,899 Summary: Hermione wants to conquer her fear, will she get to or will she be distracted?  Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Published: December 30, 2005 Themes: Quidditch/Flying Draco: Redeemed Locations: Hogwarts Express, Quidditch Pitch Side Pairings: Blaise/Ginny Characters: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley

Title: I Can’t Hate You Anymore Author: jmalfoy Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 22 Word Count: 141,795 Summary: Being forced to marry a man you hate is not as bad as loving him after he destroyed your life. After years of heartache, will Draco and Hermione ever find true happiness?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: February 4, 2007  Completed: March 25, 2008 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point), Forced Marriage, Narcissa Approves/Is Nice, Wedding/Honeymoon Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Darius and Darien], Pregnancy/Child Birth Themes: Alcohol, Apologies [Draco], Betrayal/Deception, Bets/Wagers, Blackmail, Contracts/Deals, Dancing, Endearments/Pet Names, Events/Celebrations [Parties], Injuries [Hermione], Jealousy [Draco and Hermione], Jewellery, Kidnapping/Imprisonment [Hermione is kidnapped], News/Gossip, Presents/Gift Giving [From Draco to Hermione], Sibling/Step-Family [Draco gets a sister], Travel [Venice, Italy] Draco: Business Man, Draco’s Feelings, Manipulative, Protective/Possessive Hermione: Campaigner, Emotional, Feisty, Ministry Employee Locations: Diagon Alley, Flourish and Blotts, Malfoy Manor, Ministry of Magic,  Other Bars/Clubs/Pubs, Other Restaurant, St. Mungo’s, The Burrow Side Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa, Ron/Lavender, Harry/Ginny, Cormac/Daphne, Blaise/Ginny, Harry/Pansy, Neville/Parvati Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Hermione & Blaise, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Pansy, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Ron Characters: Arthur Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Charlie Weasley, Cormac McLaggen, Daphne Greengrass, Ginny Weasley, Grangers [Mr. Granger deceased], Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Lucius Malfoy, Millicent Bulstrode, Molly Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Padma Patil, Pansy Parkinson, Parvati Patil, Ron Weasley, Susan Bones Character Birthdays: Hermione  Anti-Characters: Anti-Daphne, Anti-Cormac

Title: I Can’t Quit You, Baby Author: isis chandra wu  Rating: M Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5,538 Summary: We’re shagging. -Just- shagging? Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6 Published: November 10, 2009 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Endearments/Pet Names Draco: Prefect, Snarky Hermione: Prefect Locations: Hogsmeade, Hogwarts Library Characters: Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbott, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Original Characters, Peeves, Ron Weasley Character Point of View/POVs: Draco, Hermione

Title: I Carry Your Heart Author: TheMourningMadam Rating: M Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 14 Word Count: 43,734 Summary: “I carry your heart with me…I carry it in my heart.” Hermione and Draco are reluctantly married. Despite all of the adversities-their rocky past, his spiteful parents, their own pigheadedness-they grow to love one another deeply. Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: May 19, 2018 Completed: March 4, 2019 Relationship: Marriage Law Pregnancy/Children: Twins [Danae, Eleni] Themes: Contracts and Deals, Cooking and Baking, Ministry and Politics Draco: Snarky, Business Man Hermione: Shop Owner, Feisty, Business Woman Friendships: Hermione & Ginny, Draco & Theo Characters: Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson, Ginny Weasley, Theo Nott, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Grangers Anti-Characters: Anti-Lucius, Anti-Narcissa Additional Notes: Fast Romance Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations

Title: I Dare You Author: Kalee60 Rating: MA Genre(s): Adventure, Romance Chapters: 3 Word Count: 11,517 Summary: It’s been ten years since the war and it finds Hermione and Draco working as magical artifact recovery specialists. What will happen when close encounters and a sword of power make them face a growing attraction to each other? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: May 1, 2010  Completed: May 7, 2010 Themes: Co-workers/Office/Partners, Games/Challenges/Dare [Dares], Magical Items, Travel [New York] Draco: Sex God, Snarky Hermione: Feisty Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations

Title: I Give You My Word Author: stay.traught.i’m.deactivated Rating: T Genre(s): Hurt/Comfort, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,171 Summary: “Don’t cry,” Draco whispered softly. Hermione turned around to face him. “Are you te-telling the truth, M-malfoy?” Draco took a minute to think before answering. “Yes. I give you my word; I am,” he replied solemnly. “How do I know your word is even true?” Status: Complete Timeline: Year 4 Published: October 6, 2011 Hermione: Emotional, Feisty

Title: I Know What I Like Author: drcjsnider Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Fluff Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,207 Summary: Draco Malfoy knows what he likes, he just isn’t sure that he can get her. Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: January 31, 2007 Themes: Alochol, Events/celebration [Party], Forced Partnership Draco: Order Member, Snarky Hermione: Feisty Locations: Grimmauld Place Characters: Harry Potter Warnings: Strong Profanity

Title: I Love … Pop. Author: elvishly Rating: R Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 2 Word Count: 17,140 Summary: Marriage to an upper-class toft with a sense of fashion was never (really!) planned for Hermione’s life, but the engagement had happened and the wedding placed in her diary — colour coded in red for: do not forget. A date that she might have trouble attending. Well, falling in love with a carbonated beverage wasn’t exactly planned for her life either…  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: November 27, 2007  Themes: Addictions, Dancing, Events/Celebrations [Ball], Presents/Gift Giving [From Draco to Hermione] Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Ministry Employee, Redeemed Hermione: Emotional, Ministry Employee Locations: Cafe, Hermione’s Flat/House Side Pairings: Hermione/Original Character Friendships: Hermione & Harry Characters: Harry Potter, Original Characters

Title: I Promise Author: tectonictigress Rating: M Genre(s): Angst, Mystery, Drama Chapters: 4 Word Count: 25,032 Summary: Hermione thought her life was perfect. Draco knew none of it was real. VoldemortWins!AU. Canon-compliant up to the Battle of the Hogwarts. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts, AU Fest/Exchange: dramione_remix Alternate Links: ffnet Published: September 3, 2018 Relationship: Secret Friendship, Secret Relationship, Past Relationship Themes: Curses and Spells, Kidnapping and Imprisonment [Hermione], Memory Modification, Flashbacks, Dreams, Promises, Meet Again, Voldemort Wins Draco: Broody, Death Eater, Draco’s Feelings Hermione: Know-It-All, Vulnerable, Prisoner/Captive Characters: Ginny Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Grangers, Gregory Goyle, Dean Thomas, Padma Patil, Parvati Patil, Susan Bones, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Millicent Bulstrode, Theo Nott, Graham Montague Character Point of View/POV: Hermione, Draco, Severus

Title: I put it on when I go lonely Author: eevilalice Rating: M/R Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,175 Summary: For the first time in her new relationship, Hermione is away on business, and her longing for Draco awakens her to changes she needs to make for the sake of them both. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Fest/Exchange: dhr_advent Published: November 22, 2014 December 10, 2014 Relationship: Established Themes: Travel [Canada], Sharing Clothing Sequel: Spill Your Breakfast, Drip Your Wine - NC-17, one shot - If Hermione is honest with herself, her singular attraction to Malfoy began back at Hogwarts the first time she saw him looking anything but the sleek-haired, immaculately dressed prat she’d come to loathe.

Title: I said, ‘I do’ first  Author: GirlWithin  Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Romance  Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,046  Summary: Mud slinging with Malfoy on her wedding day? Whatever will Hermione’s soon to be husband think? Oneshot  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: December 2, 2005  Completed: December 2, 2005  Themes: Banter, Wedding Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley 

Title: I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus Author: Inell Rating: PG-13 Genre(s): Romance, Humor, Family Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,630 Summary: Alexander Malfoy catches his Mum kissing Santa Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU, Mature Dramione Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: December 18, 2004 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Alexander, Damien, Unnamed Girls] Themes: Endearments/Pet Names

Title: I Spy Author: gnrkrystle Rating: M Genre: Romance, Drama Chapters: 31 Word Count: 128,676 Summary: Hermione is hand picked by Dumbledore to be the Order liaison for Draco when he decides to be a Spy for the Order in their 6th year. Read to find out more. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6, War Published: February 7, 2011  Completed: November 6, 2012

Title: I Think I May Need You Author: everythursday Rating: R Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 4 Word Count: 21,929 Summary: “I’m afraid of what you make me feel, Malfoy.” “That’s okay.” “Is it?”  Her eyes…they looked so vulnerable. She did. So breakable. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Published: December 18, 2005  Themes: Alcohol, Dancing, Polyjuice [Draco uses Polyjuice], Sharing Clothing Draco: Auror, Redeemed Hermione: Feisty Locations: Ministry of Magic, St. Mungo’s Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Title: I Think You Are Just Lonely Author: Hafthand  Rating: M/R Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5,614 Summary: Halloween…Hermione and the choices you make. Timeline: Year 7 Fest/Exchange: 3keysficxchnge Holiday: Halloween Published: November 10, 2006 Themes: Events/Celebrations [Ball], Head Boy/Head Girl Hermione: Feisty Locations: Ministry of Magic Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Remus, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Harry Characters: Blaise Zabini, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter Character Deaths: Ron Weasley

Title: I Told You So Author: Shalimarfire Rating: R Genre(s): Fluff, Plot? What Plot?  Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,450 Summary: He had it all worked out, he had a fool proof plan; except he forgot to remember what he’d been told about the best laid plans. She’d tried to warn him, tell him that it wouldn’t work.  But did he listen, of course not. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: Malfoy Manor Draco Birthday Bash 2011 Published: June 28, 2011 Relationship: Already Married Character Birthdays: Draco  Warnings: Limes(Mild Smut)

Title: i took a faithful leap Author: automaticdoor Rating: G Genre(s): General Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,225 Summary: Hermione discovers a secret garden. Too bad it’s already occupied. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: Otter and Ferret Published: April 27, 2012 Themes: Co-Workers/Office/Partners Draco: Redeemed, Unspeakable Hermione: Unspeakable

Title: I Want You Author: springofthedandelions Rating: M Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,710 Summary: Dramione. Smut. Need I say more?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: November 5, 2011 Locations: Draco’s Flat/House, Other Bars/Pubs/Clubs

Title: I Wasn’t Kicked Off, I Quit Author: Glalie773 Rating: T Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,818 Summary: Commentating on the first Quidditch game with Draco Malfoy isn’t Hermione’s ideal way of spending her day. But, of course, they’re not even paying attention to the game much. “And lastly, the Boy-Who-Scored!” Pause. “Oh wait, he never ‘scores’.” One-shot. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Published: December 27, 2010 Relationship: Established Relationship Themes: Conflict/Bickering, Head Boy/Head Girl, Quidditch/Flying Draco: Snarky Hermione: Feisty Locations: Quidditch Pitch Characters: Minerva McGonagall

Title: I Will Survive  Author: blue artemis Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humor, Fluff Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,056 Summary: How Hermione managed to survive Draco’s attempts at wooing her. This is a bit different from my other fics. I don’t know if it works, but here it is. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: September 16, 2009 Themes: Endearments/Pet Names, Quidditch/Flying [Flying] Draco: Redeemed

Title: I Wish I Was the Moon Author: CajunWitch Rating: M Genre(s): Hurt/Comfort, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,230  Summary: A oneshot of my interpretation of what might’ve happened in the sixth year at Hogwarts after Hermione witnessed Ron and Lavender snogging during Gryffindor’s victory party. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6  Published: June 23, 2012 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Apologies [Draco and Hermione] Draco: Snarky Hermione: Blushing Virgin, Emotional Locations: Astronomy Tower Side Pairings: Ron/Lavender Characters: Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Ron Weasley

Title: I Won’t Tell Author: SybilSlytherin  Rating: MA Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 27 Word Count: 39,136  Summary: After Hermione and Harry are dealing with Ron’s leaving them, one of the last people they would want to discover them apparates yards away from their tent. Oddly enough, this person ends up being more than they would expect of him, and precisely what Hermione needs after being abandoned by Ron.  Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: June 15, 2015 Completed: January 15, 2016 Relationship: Getting Together, Engaged and Married (at some point) Pregnancy/Children: Accidental Pregnancy, Child [Ellie Rose] Themes: On the Run, Hiding, Banter, Hermione makes the first move, Jewellery, Horcrux Hunting, Curses and Spells, Kidnappng and Imprisonment, Injuries [Hermione], Proposals, Jealousy, Wedding,  Draco: Death Eater, Draco’s Feelings, Turncoat Hermione: Emotional Locations: Forrest of Dean, Malfoy Manor Friendships: Hermione & Harry Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, Fleur Delacour, Narcissa Malfoy, Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Blaise Zabini Additional Notes: Very fast romance, characters are OOC. Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations 

Title: I’ll Be The Star, You The Co­-Star Author: lrthunder  Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,655 Summary: When Draco obtains a copy of a sex tape Hermione made with her ex-boyfriend, he makes her an offer she can’t refuse. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: Dramionelove ~Love Fest~ 2014 Alternate Links: AO3 Published: June 16, 2014 Themes: Blackmail, Contract/Deals Draco: Sex God, Snarky Hermione: Feisty, Ministry Employee, Sex Goddess Locations: Draco’s Flat/House, Knockturn Alley, Ministry of Magic Side Pairings: Hermione/Original Character Characters: Original Character

Title: I’m a What? He’s My What? Well Hell!  Author: clumsydolphin  Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Drama  Chapters: 19 Word Count: 34,289  Summary: This is a very unusual Veela tale! I promise if ya peek inside it’s a surprise! Now complete!  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: July 21, 2012  Completed: December 26, 2013  Relationship: Lucius Approves, Narcissa Approves,  Pregnancy/Children: Child [Emmalyn Jordana] Themes: Apologies [Draco], Dating, Muggle Life, Meeting the Parents, Weddings, Honeymoons, Pregnancy, Magical Creatures [Veela] Draco: Veela, Redeemed  Hermione: Veela, Feisty  Locations: The Burrow, Shell Cottage, Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Bill/Fleur Friendships: Hermione & Weasleys, Hermione & Fleur, Hermione & Harry,  Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Molly Weasley, Grangers, Fleur Delacour, Arthur Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy Additional Notes: Characters are a bit OOC.

Title: I’m Marrying your Imaginary Boyfriend Author: Wolf Blossom  Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,511 Summary: Hermione Granger is getting married and her cousins have never met her fiancé. A day before the wedding, Tamara Granger tells Hermione that she is dating Draco Malfoy and that he is a lot more charming than Hermione’s “ugly” fiancé.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: June 27, 2011 Relationship: Wedding Side Pairings: Blaise/Ginny Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Original Characters [Hermione’s Extended Family], Ron Weasley

Title: I Met Your Father at Daycare  Author: writerspassion18 Rating: K+ Genre(s): Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,394 Summary: With that, he left, and Hermione locked up the daycare for the evening and went home still in denial that Draco had a daughter. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: May 27, 2015 Completed: May 27, 2015 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Jenny, Dmitri, Donovan] Themes: Flashbacks, Meet Again, Single Parent [Draco], Pregnancy Draco: Gringott’s Employee Hermione: Compassionate, Daycare Employee 

Title: If at First You Don’t Succeed… Author: celticsass Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 9,671 Summary: Determined to prove that she isn’t merely a prim little bookworm, Hermione sets out to seduce a wizard, but finds it’s someone else that appreciates her efforts more. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: October 11, 2007 Relationship: Friendship Draco: Redeemed, Snarky Hermione: Emotional, Feisty Locations: Diagon Alley, Malfoy Manor, Ministry of Magic Side Pairings: Ron/Lavender Characters: George Weasley, Verity

Title: If I’m Not Mistaken Author: reetinkerbell Rating: PG-13 Genre(s): Romance, Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,090 Summary: Due to incompetent workers, two marriage licences are accidentally  switched. Draco, Hermione and their original intended have to deal with the consequences.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: October 17, 2012 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point), Friendship, Past Romance Pregnancy/Children: Pregnancy/Child Birth Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Feisty, Know-It-All Locations: Ministry of Magic Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Draco/Pansy, Ron/Pansy, Harry/Ginny Friendships: Draco & Pansy, Hermione & Ron, Hermione & Harry Characters: Ginny Weasley, Original Characters, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley

Title: If It Kills Me Author: Hidge Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama, Fluff Chapters: 31 Word Count: 107,261 Summary: Hermione has returned to Hogwarts for her 7th year but things have changed since the fall of Voldemort, including Malfoy. The relationship that develops between her and Malfoy is one that she would have never expected, and one that complicates everything. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-war/Year 8 Published: October 10, 2009  Completed: June 2, 2011 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point), Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship, Friendship, Narcissa Approves/Is Nice, Negative Reactions Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Aurora, Carina, Leo, Scorpius]] Themes: Adultery [Hermione cheats with Draco], Affection, Alcohol, Apologies [Draco and Hermione], Chocolate, Cruciatus Curse [Draco is tortured], Cuddling/Spooning, Endearments/Pet Names, Flirting, Hermione Sits in Draco’s Lap, Insecurity, Jealousy, Jewellery, Meet the Parents, Nightmares [Draco], Presents/Gift Giving [Draco and Hermione exchange gifts], Quidditch/Flying, Scars [Draco’s Dark Mark], Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothing, Sweets, Teaching/Tutoring [Hermione teaches Draco], Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Draco: Broody,Draco’s Feelings, Draco’s Patronus [Dragon], Emotional, Healer [Draco becomes a Healer], Redeemed, Sex God, Snarky, Possessive/Protective, Quidditch Player [Captain; Seeker], Manipulative Hermione: Bossy, Blushing Virgin, Emotional, Feisty, Know-It-All Locations: Black Lake, Diagon Alley, Grangers’ Home, Great Hall, Grimmauld Place, Headmaster’s Office, Heads’ Common Room, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts Express, Hogwarts Library, King’s Cross Statiion, Malfoy Manor, Muggle London, Quidditch Pitch, The Burrow, Visiting Opposite Hogwarts House [Draco visits Gryffindor Table] Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Theo/Luna, Harry/Ginny, Lucius/Narcissa, Teddy/Victoire, Ron/Katie, Blaise/Daphne Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Goyle, Draco & Theo, Hermione & Blaise, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Luna, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Albus Severus, Andromeda Tonks, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, Filius Flitwick, Ginny Weasley, Grangers, Gregory Goyle, Harry Potter, Horace Slughorn, Lucius Malfoy, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Minerva McGonaggall, Molly Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Original Characters, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Teddy Lupin, Theodore Nott Anti-Characters: Anti-Ron Featured Holidays: Christmas/New Year’s, Easter

Title: If It Were Me Author: DarkRiverTempest  Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,095 Summary: Ronald Weasley’s been getting really grabby with Hermione lately and she doesn’t like it one bit. Neither does Draco. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: June 21, 2009 Relationship: Established Relationship Characters: Ron Weasley Anti-Characters: Anti-Ron

Title: If Only In My Dreams Author: CeceLouise Rating: G Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 23 Word Count: 58,224 Summary: To get to Harry, a desperate Draco Malfoy kidnaps Hermione Granger. As the two spend time together, they are forced to reevaluate their opinions of each other. A spirited Christmas love story. Status: Complete Timeline: War, AU Fest/Exchange: Dramione Winter Fic Exchange Alternate Links: ffnet | Wattpad Published: November 20, 2018 Completed: December 3, 2018 Themes: Kidnapping and Imprisonment [Hermione], Potions [Polyjuice, Vertiserum], Cooking/Baking, Escaping, Absue and Assault [Hermione], Contracts and Deals, Final Battle, Battle of Hogwarts Draco: Death Eater, Turncoat, Broody, Snarky Hermione: Order Member, Ministry Worker, Feisty Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Fenir Greybeck, Voldemort Featured Holidays: Christmas Additional Notes: Fast Romance

Title: If The Spirit Is Willing Author: eilonwy Rating: M Genre(s): Fluff, Humor, Mystery, Paranormal, Romance, Suspense Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,799 Summary: The Gryffindor Hallowe’en bash is a dismal failure– that is, until help arrives from an unexpected quarter… Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6 Holiday: Halloween Fest/Exchange: dmhghalloween Alternate Links: AO3  Published: November 1, 2011 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Alcohol, Endearments/Pet Names, Events/Celebration [Party], Games/Challenges/Dares, Magical Items,  Draco: Manipulative, Redeemed, Sex God, Snarky Hermione: Feisty, Know-It-All Characters: Dean Thomas, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Lavender Brown, Neville Longbottom, Parvati Patil, Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan Warnings: Implicit Sexual Situations, Mild Profanity

Title: If There be Thorns Author: writcraft Rating: PG-13 Genre(s): Angst, Drama, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,350 Summary: Draco finally decides to tell Hermione how he feels the night before Valentine’s Day, but apparently someone else has the same idea. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Holiday: Valentine’s Fest/Exchange: dramionelove Valentine’s Fic and Art Fest Alternate Links: AO3 Published: February 20, 2013 Themes: Co-Workers/Office/Partners, Jealousy [Draco] Draco: Broody, Draco’s Feelings

Title: If Wishes Were Horses: An Eighth-Year Tale Author: eilonwy Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): General Chapters: 1 Word Count: 8,687 Summary: Wishes have a nasty habit of backfiring, as Draco discovers. And just deserts can be a bitch. Timeline: Year 8 Fest/Exchange: dramione_duet Published: October 25, 2014  Themes: Alcohol, Apologies [Draco and Hermione], Baths/Showers, Games/Challenges/Dares, Head Boy/Head Girl, Injuries [Hermione], Secret Feelings, Studying Together  Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Redeemed Hermione: Emotional, Feisty  Locations: Heads’ Common Room  Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Goyle, Draco & Theo  Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Graham Pritchardd, Gregory Goyle, Harper, Malcolm Baddock, Minerva McGonagall, Theodore Nott   Warnings: Explicit sexual content, language

Title: If you could read my mind love Author: ningloreth Rating: MA Genre(s): Drama Chapters: 1 Word Count: 8,348 Summary: During the war, Hermione Granger receives a strange proposal… Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE, War Fest/Exchange: Reverse Challenge 2014 (Hawthorn & Vine) Published: January 18, 2014 February 12, 2014 Relationship: Marriage of Convience, Wedding/Honeymoon Themes: Azkaban, Curses/Spells, Forced Partnership/Together, Kidnapping/Imprisonment, Legilimency/Occlumency [Draco uses both; Hermione learns], Teaching/Tutoring [Draco teachs Hermione], Trapped Together, Wand Sharing [Hermione uses Draco’s wand] Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Blushing Virgin, Ministry Employee Locations: Malfoy Manor Characters: Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Ron Weasley Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations

Title: If You Forget Me  Author: drcjsnider Rating: T Genre(s): Angst, Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,606 Summary: Draco comforts Hermione after an Order mission goes horribly wrong. Status: Complete Timeline: War Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: November 17, 2008 Relationship: Friendship Themes: Endearments, Sharing a Bed Draco: Order Member, Protective/Possessive, Snarky Hermione: Feisty  Locations: The Burrow Characters: Alastor Moody, Fred Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Molly Weasley, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley

Title: If You Tell a Weasley a Secret… Author: shy_of_reality Rating: M/R Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,062 Summary: If you tell a Weasley a secret… the rest of them will know soon enough and likely before you wanted them to. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Holiday: Christmas/New Year’s Fest/Exchange: smutty_claus Published: December 29, 2014 Relationship: Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Engagement Draco: Redeemed Locations: The Burrow Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Ron/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Pansy, Draco & The Weasleys Characters: Arthur Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Molly Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley

Title: Ignore that feeling deep down inside Author: vegetasbubble Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): General Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,967 Summary: Draco Malfoy has been getting those tingly feelings a seventeen year old gets in his pants whenever Hermione Granger looks at him. After a week of furious wanking, he finally decides to do something about it. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7, AU Published: November 20, 2010 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Pansy Warnings: Coarse Language, Lemons(Extreme Smut)

Title: IIlusions of Forever Author: Em North Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,007 Summary: Draco has captured Hermione. Whatever will he do with her? Status: Complete Timeline: War, Post-Hogwarts, AU Alternate Links: RS Published: July 19, 2004 Relationship: Forbidden/Secret relationship, Negative reactions [Harry opposes union] Themes: Kidnapping/Imprisonment [Hermione is captive] Draco: Death eater Hermione: Captive, Order Member Warnings: Sexual Situations

[fiddler-on-the-starship]

Whenever I see people quoting/referencing/parodying My Immortal it’s always one of the same four or five lines. You know the ones.

The iconic opening paragraph, “Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair… (et cetera).”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT… BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”

“And Loopin was masticating to it!”

As great as those are, I’d like to throw a spotlight on what I think are some of the underappreciated parts of this classic work of fanfiction.

Ebony puts blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk.

Enoby is canonically a weeaboo and speaks to her friends in Fangirl Japanese.

Harry’s scar is now a pentagram instead of a lightning bolt, so either he found some sort of spell to alter the appearance of the scar or he actually took the time to carve a pentagram into his forehead.

There is an OC named either Tom Riddle or Tom Rid who works at a “punkgoff” store in Hogsmeade and has absolutely nothing to do with Voldemort, he just happens to have the exact same name.

Tara somehow got Fred and George mixed up with Crabbe and Goyle.

The reason Snape doesn’t like Harry in this fic is because Snape is Christian and Harry is a Satanist.

Marty McFly literally appears out of nowhere to help Enoby travel through “tim” with his “tim machine.”

Chapter 11 ends with Hagrid singing along to “a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.”

Voldemort inexplicably speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.

Voldemort wears high heels.

Draco has a flying black Mercedes-Benz and a black MCR broom.

Snape has a Dork Mark on his penis.

Speaking of penises, Draco is apparently “hung like a stallone.” I guess Tara is a Rambo fan?

The Hedwig/Voldemort sex scene, wherein Hedwig is a male human instead of a female owl, for some reason.

Dumbledore flies around on his broomstick while holding a loaf of rye bread. At least, that’s what I think Tara meant by “Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread.”

Oh yeah, and Dumbledore is an Avril Lavigne fanboy, because of course he is.

James Potter’s “goff” nickname is Samoro, because Tara erroneously believes this to be the masculine form of the name Samara.

Draco’s singing voice is described as “a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson.”

Tara’s brief feud with her editor Raven, as chronicled in the author’s notes, may or may not have had something to do with Raven borrowing Tara’s sweater and not giving it back. IDK, it’s unclear.

Voldemort smokes a “gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar.”

McGonagall has the best insults, like “horny simpletons” and “mediocre dunces” and probably some others I’m forgetting.

Dobby only appears once in the entire fic and literally all he does is watch Snape and Lupin have sex, and then run away crying.

Sirius is referred to as Harry’s dogfather, and not gonna lie, even if it was a typo I think that is a genuinely clever pun.

The Hogwarts janitor may or may not be Chuck Norris.

Tara accurately predicted how Harry would defeat Voldemort in Deathly Hallows. No, really. “nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111”

This line: “Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly.”

And this one: “‘Crosio!’ I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.”

“Azerbaijan”

“Hoes of Wax”

“Tom Bombodil”

“Cornelio Fuck”

“Professor Slutborn”

“Preacher McGongol”

“Lumpkin”

“TaEbory”

“The Bark Lord”

 “Vadermort”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

This is truly the classic of our generation. I want students to explicate this for AP tests.

[prismatic-bell]

Honestly, the fact that Azerbaijan is spelled correctly is what makes the rest of the list so fucking funny.

[justareallyboredfangirl]

i got to “Samoro” and literally couldn’t read anymore

[nyctoheart]

My intention isn’t to BOSS people around. But people who don’t create on tumblr really have to understand that if creators stop posting here, you won’t have anything else to like but maybe memes. If you want content to circle around to your dashboard… you have to pay it forward and reblog. That is why this website is dying. The Ban is not the only reason.

[nyctoheart]

And its like…. people dont even fucking realize how special tumblr is

Tumblr doesn’t have verified checkmarks. Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm to you show ❝The Best Stuff❞. Tumblr doesn’t display how many followers you have. Tumblr isn’t obsessed with subscriptions. 

Tumblr is an even playing field compared to websites like Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube. Which means its up to us, the users, to spread the word of people we enjoy– the way the internet should be.

I’m not asking you to reblog shit you don’t like. I’m not asking you to reblog everything out of pity. But when you see a post you genuinely like, reblog it.

[tywvin-archive]

I think so many people mistake the ‘you should reblog’ message with ‘I’m greedy and all I want is notes’ when it’s really not at all like that.

When creators say they’re discouraged from creating because their posts get no notes, they don’t mean they will refuse to create unless their last edit reaches at least 1k notes. What they mean is that the effort they’re putting into creating something purely out of inspiration and the need to share their passion and creativity with the world is being consumed and forgotten, just like it is on Instagram. Tumblr has changed from having an even reblog-like ratio, or even twice as many reblogs as likes, to being another social media where users consume content instead of sharing it.

We’re not trying to force you to reblog everything or want you to fill your blog with things you don’t like. But Tumblr is built on reblogs and likes. This is not a fast-food company where you can order something, consume it, and then throw it away. The very base of this website is sharing, as opposed to Instagram. Here, likes don’t give our posts exposure, reblogs do.

Notes are not the problem, the fact that you want new content without supporting creators is. So yeah, don’t be surprised if creators stop creating because nobody wants to share their creations.

[paprikapony-deactivated20210526]