Chamomile

Side blog : cold-hands-warm-heart

[opheliadreaming]

Gonna cut my cake and have it too

[opheliadreaming]

I am finding being alive fascinating

[opheliadreaming]

Ladies coach | 11:30 PM on a Random Thursday

[kosmogrl]

being in your 20s is thinking that you're finally getting your life together and then suddenly you take three steps back

[opheliadreaming]

[opheliadreaming]

I wish when all this comes to an end , you remember that the life you led didn’t belong to you alone but also to the people who cradled your laughter and dreams in their arms. I hope you remember that you were loved enough . Especially on rainy days when you slept on the couch while being surrounded by the echoes and comfort of the people who were simply at ease watching you tucked in safe and sound. Life is too short to resent yourself , but it is also long enough to leave specks of yourself everywhere you go , like In a recipe you taught your friend , or in the letters you wrote to your forlorn lovers ,and in moments where you held your mother only to be held in return.

I hope you are able to string a montage of the moments you caught fluttering from one to another ,so that you can hold onto these forever . So that when the time comes you know what to look for and where to look for it.

[opheliadreaming]

Oscillating between extremes

[opheliadreaming]

I was 22 when I came across Plath and her fig analogy . I still picture My younger self , seated on the edge of her bed , trying to grasp the weight of every word that Plath left me with. But I forgot to take into account that I was still young. Life was full of possibilities . The fig tree hadn’t grown fully yet and I felt comfortable waiting for my life to begin around it .

I am 25 now. I don’t read anymore . I don’t exactly know what to wait for. I am tired of chasing closed doors . The wants grow like vines from a fig tree. And I want to savour it all only to lose all of them to time and rot.

[opheliadreaming]

Sard Hawa

[opheliadreaming]

Turning 25 felt a lot like a page from Mary Oliver’s poetry book. It was full of heartbreak but also full of kindness. To bask under the sun , peeling oranges for friends and giving love a second chance.

[opheliadreaming]

Reconciliation with the past

[opheliadreaming]

Oh to be a woman written and directed by Greta Gerwig

[opheliadreaming]

[opheliadreaming]

This sertraline is not sertralining like its supposed to.

[opheliadreaming]

The point is, your twenties are for living alone. It's about going to war with your heart on sleeves, it's about realising how blurred the line is between alone and lonely, it's about you looking at the world and them looking back at you, but never actually seeing you. Olivia Lang relates the feeling of loneliness to a perpetual state of hunger , while all the people around are readying themselves for a feast. I am the oldest I ll ever be, and I am the youngest I ll ever be and I have no idea what to actually be. My friends are 5 years apart and I am still stuck on to the 19 year old self hoping for this grief to grow smaller. But it looms just like your twenties do, which are for living alone, which are going to last a lifetime.

[opheliadreaming]

Nettle leaves!!!!!!!!!

[opheliadreaming]

Attending funerals of people who are still alive