Optimystic

Bikers against Abuse

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#TogetherWeCan

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Valentine's Day 2020

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Broken By Force - Free by Choice

Broken By Force – Free by Choice

The other day I was asked “Have you ever been raped?”  I figure, in the context of the question, this was because I don’t look like a rape victim – whatever that may look like.

After giving it a lot of thought, I must say the only way I can express what I feel about this is:

I am proud to be an unrecognisable victim of rape – multiple rapes actually.

I am proud to be an unrecognisable…

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The Freedom to be You

The fear of rejection and being ostracized is something I think we all battle with at some point in our lives.

Being authentically you is freeing, it’s not always easy though.

We are socialized from young to believe that how we look, talk, dress, what we can and can’t say, think and believe are what gives us value.

At 49, I truly have recently become comfortable enough in my own uniqueness to…

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Weekend Musings

Are we a civilized society?

Sometimes I think NOT.

Sometimes when I stop to rest and think after a heavy few weeks, questions just hang in my mind and all I can think is, “Seriously?”

I just don’t understand the mentality of thinking, intelligent, educated people who say things like:

“Are we sure he/she is guilty” – even and especially after someone has been found guilty by a court of law.

“There…

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Isn't it time?

Isn’t it time?

Labelling to create divisiveness is really becoming an issue for me. I am really over it.

To be honest I don’t think there needs to be these competitive identity issues. We have seen it with race, creed, culture, language, economic status, gender and now with sexual orientation. Why?

We are connected by our HUMANITY.

Rich, poor, white, coloured, asian, male, female, homosexual,…

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You are the Change

Geez it’s hot! Nothing like an S.A. summer.

As well as hot it has been busy… so many people are so incredibly broken. It’s sad and concerning. So I ask myself… is it because I am so deeply involved with brokenness that I see so much of it everywhere? Is it just that we live in such a broken world where ideologies, cultures, financial and social status just completely divide us because we cannot,…

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Getting Real about the Issues

It’s time. It’s time for us to collectively stand up and take responsibility for what we are saying – let’s cut through the intellectual, political debate and meaningless rhetoric and get real.

Crime is crime. Thieves steal. Muggers mug. Abusers abuse. Molestors molest. Rapists rape.

These words aren’t gender, class, race, culture or sexual orientation specific.

They may be more predominant in…

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Connected Humanity

Sexual assault, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse… all the forms of abuse you can think of. These are crimes against humanity. Regardless the gender, colour, creed, status or class of the victim or perpetrator.

How do you measure who’s trauma is worse? All of these are horrendous crimes against humanity… they destroy other human beings!

They are HUMAN…

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#Update

Thank goodness for the weekend break. I hope you all had time to chill and regroup.

This morning it’s been me and the admin. 🤢

This afternoon is dedicated to some healing journeying! This is the core of everything and I am blessed to have some time to do that today. It took a back seat to all the craziness of last week which means I really need to look at my schedule again.

#JusticeForMannie:…

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Be Real

I really only know how to be me. I don’t know how to change the way I speak, think and feel to be like someone else anymore. I think I used to be able to do that – mimic to fit in.

I watch, listen and read people having deep, esoterically, intellectual conversations that sound meaningful and arty but are full of oozy woozy pop psychology couched in particular elitist phrases like code words that…

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I Get It

I get why people give up. I do. I get why people just keep their blinkers on and carry on like nothing is going on around them. I get that. I do. I get why fake is cool and real is shunned. I get that when people drop you at the first sign of difficulty it’s hard to swallow. I really get all of that. I get that carrying on when everything just seems so pointless is not an easy choice. I get that.

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One more...

One more…

I have been contemplating life, love, purpose – probably because birthdays have that effect on you. I asked myself, on the brink of the big 50, am I any nearer to understanding the why and what for of life?

I wish I had some heavily wise, existential tidbit that I could throw out and leave you gobsmacked and awed – but I don’t.

Here is what I do have:

EveryI have been contemplating life, love,…

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Don't Settle for Safe

Don’t Settle for Safe

Safe is good. Right?

Yes! We need to be safe – especially here in South Africa. Safe from crime. Safe in our homes and work places.

This post isn’t about that kind of safe.

I am talking about intellectual safety and emotional safety. I am talking about getting caught in a web of comfortably safe thoughts and feelings – negative or positive – that actually imprison us.

Stuck in a mediocre life,…

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It's Messy, It's life

It’s Messy, It’s life

I have learned so much over the last few years journeying to healing.

I have learned (painfully) to be more open minded and less judgemental.

I have learned about selflessness and its rewards.

I have learned that although we don’t all have the same values we all just want to be happy.

I have learned the value of communication and not to expect others to have the same understanding of things like…

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Give In, Give Up or Give it your All

At the end of the day these are your choices. You can give in, you can give up or you can give it your all.

At different times in life I think we have all chosen one of the three…

Give in because we are tired of trying to follow our truth. Sometimes it just seems easier to run along with every one else because it’s popular and easier… simpler.

Give up because maybe it’s up just too hard. The…

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It's not a Competition

It’s not a Competition

You are unique. So is your story, your experiences and, yes, your pain.

Lately there has been this avalanche of trauma stories. Trauma porn… thats what it sometimes feels like. An animalostic need to escape in other people’s trauma and horrofically disturbing experiences.

I like to hear about others victory and how they came to overcome and that’s great.The courage and strength to overcome is…

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