Edward's Legacy

REAL INFORMATION IN A WORLD OF UNCERTAINTY!

[orchidhunter1887]

Guys I do not know what's going on anymore. Seriously, I cannot win. Hannah and I agreed on splitting up for real, but she did let me travel home with her. As I'm sure you can imagine, it was awkward. She did not want to speak to me. Again, I've done like essentially absolutely nothing wrong, so I don't know how to fix the situation. Then, let me tell you about all the things that happened on this godforsaken expedition with Gambit.

We go on this hike to see this rare and amazing meteorite. Okay, yeah it was pretty cool. Scientifically, it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. But then let me tell you. LET ME TELL YOU. My leg starts acting up. And I don't want you to get the impression that my leg usually forces me to have to sit out, I am a man, I don't need to sit out and take a breather. But since it was hurting so much and the hike was so long, I thought why not. I didn't want anyone else to see me like this though so I told them to all go on. Of course, that's the moment a storm decided to blow in. So I'm stuck outside in this horrible storm, and of course I catch my death. And by death I realize I'm just being dramatic. I have pneumonia. I'm not even that sick. But... I am, I will admit, sicker than I have been before. I'm lucky though, because Dr. Gambit is going to take good care of me!

Unlike Hannah, I trust him. He's encouraging me to write to her and have her join me since he thinks I'm going to fall more ill before I get better. I suppose I see no harm in doing that and I'm sure she will come since I am sure she misses me! Now I will admit, I am a little stressed. Gambit believes that I could be developing TB. This is not my area of expertise so I have none of my known knowledge to go off of. That being said, I would trust Gambit with my life. I know that I hardly know him, but any man who has spent some time in college getting a doctorate is one that I think is trustworthy. He's preparing a special treatment all for me! I think while the process is going on I'm going to take a step back from social media. I'm sure that the treatment will work, and once it does I'll continue with my updates. Thank you all for listening to a madman's ramblings over the course of my journey to Corsica and back. Don't worry, there will be many more great adventures coming. In the mean time, everyone have a good day.

[orchidhunter1887]

major life update.

Okay so. There's no easy way to say this. Things have not been going too well in my life. For starters, my expedition didn't go well. I was literally arrested for trying to leave the country with those orange tree samples. Ridiculous. I am a man of science, it's not like I was going to do something terrible to the fucking pieces of tree I took. I don't understand the issue, and those policemen don't understand me. Lynn set my bail, so I'm able to write this from her place. But to make things worse, cuz I needed one more thing to go wrong... Hannah doesn't want to be with me anymore.

I get it in some ways. I don't think that I'm necessarily the issue that she's making me out to me, but I do think that we're just not as compatible as we thought. She just gets so carried away with the things that she thinks she understands, and she doesn't value the same things I value. Whatever, it's fine, I don't need to be with someone who wouldn't be on my side about what happened with the orange tree samples. The only thing is that, well, I'm scared of being lonely again. I just hope that we can continue to see each other because as much as I don't mind being only surrounded by plants for the rest of my life, it's nice to see another person's face every now and again.

I don't have much to say about this. I guess the only thing that I really have going for me is a trip with Dr. Gambit coming up. Maybe one of the perks of my wife and I splitting up is that I don't have to feel bad about hanging out with Gambit anymore (not that I was feeling bad about it, it's just that I felt like Hannah wanted me to feel bad and I was refusing to because I know in my soul that Gambit is a good man like myself). Our trip will be physically difficult, so it's good that I won't have to drag Hannah and the child along with us. I just hope that my own leg holds out for it. (That's a great story for another time! If you guys have interest in hearing how my leg got all messed up comment below!)

Anyway. Yeah, I don't have much to say in this update because simply I'm just in a sad mood. I feel like I'm supposed to be being reflective or something, but I don't think I've done anything at all in the wrong and it just seems like I can't catch a break from all the terrible things that just keep happening to me. Oh well. I'm going to make my fortune and achieve my fame some other way. Hopefully this trip with the Dr. helps me out. If anyone has any women advice, please let me know. I don't really want to split from Hannah, I just also don't want to change myself in any way. Attached below are some examples of the orange trees in Corsica. At least with the internet I can share some representations of what I could have actually brought back to the US.

[orchidhunter1887]

ALRIGHT.

We've made it to Italy, but I'm having a VERY HARD TIME KEEPING MY COOL. It's starting to feel like everywhere I turn there's an unstable woman. They're closing in on me!

Right now we're staying with Hannah's aunt's friend, let's call her Lynn. Lynn is a woman unlike any I have ever met. She has a beautiful garden, and the garden is filled with amazing ancient statues. BUT SHE KEEPS THEM OUTSIDE. I mean! They're going to deteriorate and she doesn't even care! The sun damage alone is enough to turn this garden into the biggest cultural and scientific burial ground in the world. Hannah says that I should ask what her plans are with these statues in the winter, but I don't need to ask to know that every single decision Lynn makes is a decision made without fact checking or even any kind of base scientific thinking. It must be because her husband left her and now she's suffering some kind of breakdown. And to think of all the ancient statues we're going to lose just because another woman is having a breakdown.

Look, I don't mean to sound like a misogynist. It's just that she truly has no idea what she's doing. And it makes sense that this woman is friends with Aunt Beatrice, because Lynn is also very free spirited. The more we explored the garden, the more statues we saw, and the more statues we saw the more vulgar they became! There were inappropriate human body parts displayed all over the garden! I mean, how unharmonious with the idea of a pure and scientific garden. Why do my eyes have to be molested with breasts and... other body parts, when I'm trying to enjoy a peaceful, beautiful, and educational time in a garden? AND, AND, the child that we are taking around with us was HERE WITH US. I am so upset with myself for not putting my foot down earlier and saying that she had to stay inside the room at all times. I'm starting to truly get concerned about her time with us, clearly we keep going to places that are not advancing her development as a civilized person.

Ok, clearly I'm in a mood. I will attempt to lighten it by, again, speaking of some of the issues I'm having with my wife. We're having some... intimacy issues? I don't know, I don't really want to put it all out there on the internet. I mean, obviously I'M NOT THE ISSUE HERE, but like, I just don't have the interests that apparently Hannah does in sexuality. And that's slightly concerning to me because I thought we agreed that those lives weren't for us. I want us to work but I feel like... as I've gotten to know Hannah more, as she's come out of her shell, there's this distance between us which I don't like. Before, it felt normal because I could just imagine her to be the way I wanted and I had no evidence to disprove my image of her. Now, with all the time we're spending together, I'm seeing that she's different than I thought. But, maybe it's just the time that we've been spending in these hyperfeminine gardens. I want things to work with her because (well, 1. because they have to, how embarrassing would it be for things to not work, but 2.) I very much like having her as my companion.

Enough emo stuff. Now that we're in Italy, I can FINALLY GET EXCITED ABOUT MY EXPEDITION. To tell the truth, I did receive notice technically that the study isn't approved anymore and that I cannot take the samples I want to take... but isn't that just going to be the most exciting part of the expedition! In order to advance science (and sales) sometimes you have to ignore the rules which I am MORE THAN HAPPY TO DO. Tomorrow, I'm going to get my samples no matter what. Then I'm going to bring my wife and this child back to America and make us a fortune and go down in history. No one will ever forget my name! Alright, talk of this trip tomorrow has raised my spirits greatly. I'll attach at the bottom some examples of the statues Lynn had in her garden along with some of the flowers we saw.

[orchidhunter1887]

Hello everyone!

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say the disappointing thing first. We're not yet in Corsica. I KNOW. Instead we've had a bit of a stop over with Hannah's Aunt, let's call her... Beatrice. Beatrice is definitely an interesting woman... but more importantly than that, she has a fantastic garden.

Unlike my sister, "Samantha" if you recall, Aunt Bronwyn has figured out a way to naturally plant plants of all different types from all around the world. She doesn't utilize outlandish methods like importing ice three times a week to maintain a winter garden; rather, she has an incredible understanding of what each plant needs to survive in the garden she has placed them in in the UK. Clearly, she is a very smart woman, almost as smart as I am probably. I admire that a lot in her. I can see that Hannah's side of the family will probably continue to give me a run for my money hahahaha (just kidding, I am incredibly self assured in my intellect).

Anyhow, there are some things about Bronwyn as a person that I find a bit alarming. For example, she is just so... free spirited! She seems to believe in pagan gods, which is ironic considering she lives in what was once a convent. What would God make of that! It doesn't bother her though... truthfully, I can't understand the connection she has with the child we've brought along with us. I can only assume it's something that has to do with the fact that the child is also from a polytheistic culture. I'm starting to worry if Hannah and I are doing enough to bring up this child in the appropriate manner. Is it even worth it to bring her along with us if we're just going to let her be intellectually and spiritually lead astray?? But then I realize I really mustn't be thinking like that because even doing the bare minimum of getting her out of that school is introducing her to so many educational opportunities. Which actually reminds me, I should update you about the boat! I'm sure you'll find that exciting.

So obviously to get all the way over to the UK (Hannah's aunt lives in the English countryside), we had to take a boat! This experience was trying in many ways - no one in my party is innately comfortable on ships - but! it was a lot of fun for Hannah and the child. I'm growing rather fond of seeing the two together. Additionally, I think it's good for Hannah to redirect her intellectual abilities towards education! She gets great practice from her time educating the child, and teaching is more of a woman's job anyway. Maybe when all this traipsing around the world is finished I can find her a job somewhere teaching children. That being said, right now it seems like she's mad at me. Not to be... that guy on the internet. But I kind of want to share the story with you all so I can get some advice (cuz God knows the most mysterious thing in the world is a woman).

Hannah was feeling ill and I wanted to make sure that she had appropriate help so I identified a doctor on the boat. Dr. Gambit (let's give him that name to ensure his privacy) is a man of honor, let me assure you. I know because he and I were having extensive conversations about mining and botany and men like me are not bad men! We are good guys! I'm getting ahead of myself though. You see, I sent Dr. Gambit in to look after Hannah, and later that night Hannah is telling me that Dr. Gambit might be a false doctor and that he groped her! I mean, how ridiculous is that! Obviously, Hannah is just feeling ill, right? I mean, I have no doubt that she was imagining things, but I just want your advice on how to clear the air with her now. She's upset that I don't believe her, but what she's saying is crazy! Do you think she'll just get over it in a couple days? I don't want to be worrying about this while I'm on my expedition...

Ugh. Women, amiright! Can't live with them, can't live without them! I'm kidding!!! I'm a good guy!!!! Anywayyyyy, here are some photos of the various international plants that Hannah had planted in her garden. Have a good day guys.

[orchidhunter1887]

My sister's Garden.

The first stretch of our trip is certainly off to an interesting start! I've met up with my sister, let's give her the same Samantha. She has a very interesting garden, one that is not... natural. But also somehow walks that line as she has meticulous systems in place to create minibiomes on her property, each made in order to suit the plants inside them. Her plan is to have a completely blue garden. Which is interesting I have to admit. It will certainly be a sight when it's complete. I do have an issue with her style though (and Samantha, if you're on Tumblr, know that I'm using a fake name for you so really it isn't defamation!).

Samantha has this annoying habit of tearing things that aren't fully grown out of the ground and just getting rid of them. This is a complete waste of a plant and a disrespect to what could be a valuable specimen. I understand wanting new things, but at the cost of so much growth does get under my skin. Not everyone can be as smart as I am though, I expect that her husband must be a weak man if he cannot stand up to his own wife and tell her that her ideal garden is ridiculous to actually put together. Besides, I liked her themed gardens from before... if I had to pick a favorite I'd definitely go with the Renaissance ones.

To try to end on a more positive note though, attached are some photos I took of some of her blue plants. I'll post some research on one of the specimen soon. It really was amazing to walk through. Blue is one of the hardest colors to come by naturally, so it really is a wonder of human science and hybridization that Samantha is able to have this garden at all. Hopefully her party, when she gets to unveil her fake gardening work, goes well. Sisters, am I right!

[orchidhunter1887]

So... I've done some thinking and considering the turn my life has taken, I think I could benefit from having some friends on the internet. The story is rather quite bazaar, but I do think I'm handling this well (all things considered).

My wife was out in the garden and apparently stumbled upon a Native American child. Of course the first thing I wanted to do was call the cops or the people from the school house down the street since... well you know. IT'S A LOOSE CHILD! But Hannah (that's the name we can continue to give my wife for now), would rather we keep her around for a while as a companion for her. You know, I do worry about Hannah. I feel as though, even though she is very smart, she isn't quite knowledgable about life like I am. She's just very young. Feeling secure in the fact that I know best, I decided we might as well have this child join me on my expeditions.

MY EXPEDITIONS! There's an update I'm sure you guys actually want to hear. I am going on a trip to Corsica to get orange tree cuttings. My hope is to be the first to bring these new cuttings to America and hopefully get rich and famous from their species. Hannah will be accompanying me on this trip and we've arranged to stop over at a couple family members' homes and their gardens on the way. I'll be sure to update you all on my thoughts about those gardens as we visit them. Anyway though, back to my thoughts about Hannah.

Hannah has been ill before, and we both don't want children, which means that she spends a lot of time alone. As such, I have a fear of her being lonely and perhaps getting ill again. I think that having a companion will be good for her, and I do like to see her happy. The school down the street does have a policy that would allow us to take the child on this educational venture with us at least for the summer... I think this could be a fun time. Who knows, perhaps with Hannah finally having something other than me and my studies to focus on, maybe we will get closer as a couple! I'm excited to see what will come. Scientifically, of course.

[orchidhunter1887]

Brassavola nodosa

Hello again everyone! I'm back with another lesson in orchids. Brassavola nodosa, or in layman terms "Lady of the Night" orchids, were the first orchids I sold to other men like me (true intellectuals interested in rare species). I found a bunch of them in Guatemala and knew that I had to bring them back. Of course, I made a gift of one of them to my mother, but she did overwater it which caused it to die. This was unfortunate, but not out of character for her. It's alright though because I always have more for her (good son that I am!). Anyhow, enough of the background information, I'm trusting that you're here for some real information.

These flowers are known for their intense scent, which really only becomes active at night. How wonderful! They need indirect light to grow, so once again probably not the best for my mother's garden, but it is what it is! What the woman wants the woman gets, it's not like it affects my explorations or my research. The flowers really are beautiful though. I think my wife quite likes them as well. Let me know if you guys are interested in hearing a bit about her. I can definitely share tads and bits about my life, but as an intellectual I do have a bit of apprehension towards this whole social media thing in the first place so... I don't know. Ask away, I'll decide what to answer later!!! Once again, below is an image of the orchid in question!

[orchidhunter1887]

Oncidium sphacelatum

Hello everyone! The first orchid I want to share with you is one that means quite a bit to me. I found this specimen of orchid in Honduras and brought it home to my mother (a big orchid head like myself). This orchid has a couple names other than the scientific one - names I don't use but I will tell you about in case you'd prefer to refer to them in such a way.

Dancing Lady Orchid

Popcorn Orchid

Sphacelatum means having brown spots, which makes sense since Oncidium sphacelatum are yellow with brown spots! I'll upload a photo of one below so you can all take a look.

These orchids are not native to North America, they're native to a large region of Mexico and northern South America. It was an intellectual honor to go on this trip and be able to bring these orchids back for my mother. Now the only downside is that the orchids require high humidity... but I have faith that my mother will set something up to help them grow.

I guess this makes my first official lecture on orchids... pretty exciting stuff! If you have any questions about these beautiful flowers, please let me know and I would be more than happy to discuss the orchids further.

[orchidhunter1887]

Hello everyone!

After much deliberation, I've decided that it's time to join social media (or at least one form of it). We live in a time of so much misinformation... I wanted to make sure there's at least ONE PAGE you can all trust. Let me introduce myself!

My name is Edward and I am really really into botany. In fact, my goal is find a new species of them and name them after myself. But other than that, I don't do much! I live with my wife, whom I'll give the false name of Hannah, and our monkey, whose name is Linnaeus. I want to use this blog to share some of my orchid research, and possibly, if I end up growing more attached to sharing my personal information with the blank anonymous masses, my life and my intellectual expeditions!

Most importantly, I want you to know that I am a good guy. You can trust the information I am saying. I've been in school for a long time and my whole life is dedicated to science. Anyhow... I'm glad you've found my blog. Hopefully you'll learn a thing or two from me!

Sincerely,

Edward.