just a p u p p e t;

in the end, you weren't g o o d enough. it's time to say g o o d b y e [ indie rp blog; tracking; ordostatua ]

[ordostatua]

[valience]

"Complicated?" For a time, he appeared to be deep in thought— mind hopelessly scattered beyond comprehension. Barely more than a child, it was only natural that he should be as inquisitive as he was; despite the girl’s close-minded posture she obviously let shine through.

       Gaze met once again,

He only remembered her vaguely, but his memory of her was positive enough for him to know that they had a friendship in bloom, all it needed was a little push, right? The jovial hero placed a warmed palm on his other’s shoulder, as if to bring a sense of comfort; It was needed.

A pleasant chuckle bubbled from the depths of his throat, that trademark grin creeping it’s way onto his visage.

"My whole life is filled with complicated things— stuff that I couldn’t ever imagine even happening to anyone, let alone me…" Words were brought to a momentary halt, his heart uncoiling in response. "I don’t know your story, but… whatever it is, you can tell me. I feel like I’ve known you for a while—— and I’m not sure why, but… I feel like I can trust you."

[ordostatua]

              “Sorry-- You probably won't want to hear about it.” But she actually thought that he would. The only thing that worried her was whether or not he would end up getting hurt from her explaining. Because hearing about it -- could make things worse than it already was. She didn't want him to think that she would do it on purpose, because she didn't.

                                                Because he was something to her.

             Roxas was Sora's nobody, so would it make sense for them to share memories too? She wasn't sure about that, because they had never learned about it very much in the Organization. Her thoughts were interrupted when he put his hand on her shoulder. Yes, it surprised her; but it also comforted her. It was nice when she just relaxed, and he helped her with it. Which was nice -- just no thinking about the bad things.

                                                                                Only good. 

                            “I know that--” Because she was a part of him. “We all go through bad times, and I just...” She didn't know what to say, what was a good thing to say? She was glad that he could trust her, but her 'story' might've hurt him, and she had no intention of telling him.  “My... 'story' is confidential. I'm sorry.”

[ordostatua]

dignifiedprincess:

   ”Oh! I didn’t see you there. I would love the help, thank you!”

            “Then where should we start?”

[valience]

              A soft blink ensued when sapphire eyes hesitantly carried up to her visage. His disposition was calm and impenetrable.

Long lashes touched and parted. Sora remained in rumination; observing his company thoroughly— but kept it enigmatic. How was she aware of Kairi’s existence? Despite the growing perplexity with trailed thoughts, the hero shook his head. "No—" A pause, proceeding with a step forward. “… Someone closer to home.”

With the duo merely feet away, the confusion followed. It’s like everything about this mysterious girl— eyes, facial features and even aura— reminded him of… himself.

For a time, he appeared to be deep in thought, gaze never casting away. "I know it’s weird but… you remind me of—" his voice cool and nonchalant despite a looming sigh. “Myself?”

[ordostatua]

           She wanted to act like nothing had happened. Just turn back time so the two had never even met each other.

                       Because why would she assume that he had forgotten Kairi? He liked her -- at least that was what she thought. Not to mention, they were best friends. Maybe something came over her, something that made her kind of think that he didn't remember. It seemed to happen a lot in places like Twilight Town or whatever. Or so she heard. “Someone... closer?” She had no idea who he was even talking about -- Riku? That was impossible because -- she was nothing like him.

                 But she had a thought as to who he thought she was like -- and she didn't want to hear him say it.

                             She didn't want to say it herself. And in the end -- he had told her. And she didn't know what to do. Things were confusing, she was starting to believe that maybe she could just run until he forgot her. “Oh-- Um-- Well--

                                                         It's complicated.”

[dignifiedprincess-blog]

   ”  Now that Christmas is over…time to put away all these decorations.” 

[ordostatua]

         “Um-- Do you want some help with that?”

[valience]

            Lids calmly pulled the curtains over his eyes.

Sora took a moment to regain his composure as Xion spoke; drifting in and out of concentration— each moment in her presence pounding more and more confusion into thoughts.

Funny how just a single memory remains when the rest seems to just up and disappear, huh?— How your mentality can just choose to disregard something without the consent of it’s owner. Though, most of the time, it was for the best… The human mind was a complicated thing; Maybe understanding it fully wasn’t supposed to be.

     Still, now wasn’t the time to get literal; at least, not right now.

Her preceding statement was enough to crack a small smirk to form in the corner of his mouth. "Weird?" Brows furrowed. "I don’t feel weird… not at all?" He lied through his teeth, and if she was attentive; it would’ve been clear as day. It seemed as though the two would never find a middle ground for communication if they kept this up. Necessary answers lay deep within the girl, answers he needed—— whether he was aware of it or not.

"Xion… is it weird if I say you remind me of someone? Someone close to home… But— I’m not sure who?"

[ordostatua]

                                                          She knew that he was lying.

         She was a part of him. How could she not? But whenever she thought about that -- it made her think that she wasn't her own person when she was. She had friends, she was someone. Yet at the same time she was nobody.

                        Sometimes memories came and go, from her 'past'. But the real memories lie in her heart -- which were with Roxas and Axel because they were her friends. They made her feel special, they made her feel like she wasn't just a mistake in the Organization. But things changed, and now she did. Like she was the whole reason why Roxas left, and why Sora couldn't remember the person he cared about most. Kairi.

                The name was familiar, but at the same time it wasn't. It rolled through her mind like an endless record, but she knew nothing about her. “Sora-- You don't have to lie.” No, she was just taking a chance. It seemed lately anyone would lie to her, just to keep her happy. But that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted the cold hard truth, and she didn't care if it hurt. Because she was already hurt enough -- what did it matter anymore? 

                                             “Ah-- Maybe you don't remember...

                                   Her name is Kairi. If you're talking about her.”

[twilightsxiii-deactivated201611]

The blond hadn’t meant to hurt his best friend with his leaving, he would never mean to intentionally do such a thing. Best friends don’t do that. They laugh at the stupidest of things and eat ice cream together. That’s his definition of the term ‘best friends’, that’s all he knows about the topic. He don’t think they should hurt each other, not even on accident. But, if he had found out what they done to her and how much hard work they were putting her through, he might have considered going back, if only to take the stress and loneliness away from her. He had figured the Organization didn’t want nor need him anymore; he was getting weaker and Xion stronger. He wasn’t sure why that was hapenning, and it only added onto his endless list of questions. But why keep around a weak worker if there’s a stronger, better, and practically identical one around? So, to avoid being turned to a Dusk, he left.

He had gotten used to his own isolation, he never planned to see anyone from The World That Never Was again.

But, now Xion’s right in front of him. The one person who he cares the most for…

"Heh, no…no kidding. It’s been awhile…"

              What was he supposed to s a y?

"…How have you been?" Sure, let’s start with those questions first.

[ordostatua]

             Was friendship always like that? Painful until you couldn't take it anymore. Sometimes she wondered why he ever bothered to be friends with her. Sometimes she wondered if he even knew what the consequences were. Because she learned -- that friendship came with consequences. Finding out one morning that he wasn't in his room anymore, and no one could find him -- it worried her a lot. Frankly, she believed that they could work together in the Organizations. As partners and friends, but he left at the time. And things became hard, she didn't want to work, but she didn't have a choice. And she became something she didn't want to be.

                                                                            A pawn.

         Axel made it hard sometimes, to make friendships seem so easy. Maybe it was became she and him weren't that close as friends. Or maybe he just didn't like her. 

                        “Yeah--”

               She wanted to cry, and she wanted him to just tell her that he wouldn't leave again. But there was a part of her that just-- didn't. 

                                 “Oh-- I've been fine. Working. What about you?”

[ordostatua]

i have things drafted and i'm going to be out for a while today bc christmas.

[valience]

                  He was deathly silent.

Each memory that replayed was phasing in and out of his current state of mind. There were always the multitude of thoughts there. Allowing the idea to bounce about in the expanse of his mind emphasized a wordless rumination. Mind went afloat— nearly impossible to retrieve for the time being; swept away in the embracing sea that breathes a lullaby, it’s captured the boy who strayed too deeply in a dream.

                                 Or, was this really a dream?

It was like staring blankly into a mirror, a simple reflection of himself. There was no explanation for this strange sense of emotion; though, it forced a single tear to tread down the side of his cheek. 

"… Xion" he said without realizing, ignoring her previous statement all together. Was that right? Sora knew, somehow, that he was right and smiled profoundly, taking a step forward.

It struck him all at once.

       A heart:

A heart had found his.

"That’s right, isn’t it? You’re Xion. It’s… it’s good to finally meet you," and he spoke on an autopilot, only vaguely aware of his mouth. A pleasant chuckle bubbled from his throat, allowing that plastered smile to stretch into a genuine grin; he nodded.

[ordostatua]

                     She didn't want to meet him like this.

          But it was inevitable, wasn't it? She was his memory, and she was ready to go back. In fact, wasn't he supposed to be sleeping? The thing was -- she wondered if there was a  hole in his memories. No Kairi, no nothing. Just Riku, and his adventures with him, or something like that. She wished she could disappear, she wished that it had never happened.

                                          She wish she wasn't even alive.

                She was strong, but sometimes it was just too much, and this was that sometime. Seeing him hurt -- made her want to cry. And that was something that confused her -- because she didn't actually know him. Sure, she's heard of him, but never got to know him herself. Yet there was a pit in her stomach that made her sad seeing him sad. 

                            “Sora...?” He knew her name. It was odd enough, it made her happy on the inside. And it was just -- because whenever he called her name, she felt special. And she was sure that that was not actually her.

                       She could leave the Organization.                             But didn't.

                 She want a heart for herself.                       But she'd never get it.

                                              It was hopeless. 

            “Right-- My name is Xion!” A smile rose to her face, because it was nice to see that he wasn't having a hard time. “If-- You feel weird, just tell me.”

[wintercearigs]

                                   ”— You shouldn’t be hurt because of me.”

          The words came so quickly out of her lips that Namine almost believed they weren’t hers. Rarely was she so outspoken, appearing in her subconscious before she even realized the words were in there. But it was too late. She had already spoke the words, and she faltered slightly. Her hands clenched and steeled herself - against some unknown horror that threatened her. What she was expecting, Namine didn’t know. She just felt some sort of strange fear - as if someone could catch her and hold her against her will.

                                                                                                      Yet nothing came.

          It had taken a moment for her to regain her composure, breath still hitching from something unknown. Soft, deep breaths were taken, hand delicately on her heart. Her head shook lightly, a small trace of a smile on her face.

                                               ”I… I appreciate it.

                                                                     But please don’t sacrifice yourself for me.”

[ordostatua]

              “Namine-- I won't get hurt.”

       She wasn't exactly sure, but she was pretty confident in it. Because if she was hurt -- she'd be too weak to go on missions and collect hearts. And now with Roxas gone, well -- she was the only keyblade wielder. If she were in Namine's place, she would not have been able to take it -- she loved to roam around in places. Sure, maybe she was assigned to go around with someone, but she always had fun with everyone. Except maybe Larxene. Frankly, she wanted Namine to come with her, though. Because it would be nice to get along with someone that was actually female -- plus, she was sure she'd have a nice time.

                                               But she wouldn't have one if she didn't come. 

          She felt like the blonde was cute -- and she didn't know how someone could keep her there. They would've been heartless -- which was exactly the Organization. The only difference with her is that -- she kind of had an imaginary heart on the inside. All those times with Roxas and Axel -- it didn't come to waste. She had a heart, well not exactly, but practically a heart. 

                                                “I'm not!

                    Oh come on! I'm sure that you'd love to get some sea salt ice cream with me?”

[wintercearigs]

          Namine gave something of a small smile to Xion. She appreciated the effort that Xion went through to invite her out; truly, she did. But the blonde didn’t dare risk the wrath of the higher-ups in the Organization. Had it just been her, perhaps she would have considered it. However, Xion was at risk here. She didn’t want to endanger the female for her own selfish reasons of freedom, even if she had been the one to invite her. This was not a punishment Xion should have to bare - and she knew far too well that she would eventually do so since rarely anyone’s actions were kept secret in the castle.

          It didn’t matter how much she hated it, the white walls standing all around her. There are countless times where she wished she could escape and visit the world - where she could just leave and never look back, running to somewhere the Organization could not take her. But she knew it to be a foolhardy dream. She could not take care of herself, and she knew the Organization would easily find her. She hated the things they forced her to do, but she had very little choice in the matter.

                      The last thing she wanted was to restrict Xion as well.

                                                                                                “… I can’t. They’ll be angry.”

[ordostatua]

           Quite frankly, she knew that people in the Organization wouldn't dare touch her. Sure, they could tease her and everything. But she was their key for freedom. To have hearts; even Larxene isn't rude to her compared to how she is to others. And she was sure Saix could never harm her, because everyone wanted a heart. They were shadows, they were nobody. Yet, in the end everyone wanted something from being in the Organization. There were punishments, but if they hurt her too much, she wouldn't mind leaving. In fact, she would love to. The only reason why she hadn't before was because she had no where to go.

                                              No where to call 'home'.

                      And maybe she couldn't take Namine out from beyond the walls, it didn't matter to her. It shouldn't have mattered to her. Yet it did, because being trapped behind the walls would be too much. Even if she was a patient person, it must've been lonely there. She didn't want to have her stay there all alone, no one else but a sketch book. Plus, Xion was beginning to get a migraine, because she was there for too long. She knew if she didn't hurry, nothing good would come to it.

                 “Come on! It's Christmas, no one should be alone on Christmas -- Plus, they might go easy on us. And I'll protect you if they even try to hurt you -- promise.”

[skiesabove]

kelly look at yourself then look at me. Nothing about me is perfect. You on the other hand are. 

[ordostatua]

   no coprendo chika. Tu es perfecto. Mi no perfecto.

[skiesabove]

—out; ah hah….

[ordostatua]

     you're a perfect roxas, hayley okay. it's like how stella is a perfect namine.                   ngl though the only imperfect thing here is me.

[wintercearigs]

                                  … That’s rare.

          She was never invited out of the castle before, especially by someone of the Organization. Under normal circumstances, it was common for them to simply come into her room and drag her out - willing or not. She was all too used to not having a choice, to being forced into a dark portal where she knew not where it would land. She was nothing but a puppet to them. There was no denying it; she was an instrument for them to play at their willing.

          Yet Xion seemed to think different. Instead, she wanted to invite her out - the blonde who seemed far too fragile and held no battle capabilities whatsoever. She had to imagine the mission wouldn’t be difficult if Xion alone had asked and mentioned no one else - but even so…

                                         ”—I can’t. It’s not allowed for me to leave without permission.”

[ordostatua]

             Xion wasn't like the others in the Organization. She wouldn't leave without giving Namine a choice to leave. Because she knew what it was like to not have a choice. And she hated it, it wasn't the best feeling at all. In fact, it was like hell -- she didn't like going on missions, it wasn't exactly her dream. But at least she was needed by people, and she was sure Namine was too.

                           Sometimes she didn't understand why the Organization even wanted anything to do with her. She seemed harmless, and when she asked Axel about it -- he would just tell her to mind her own business. Which was weird, considering she was part of the Organization too, she had a right to know. But in the end, she gave up; though, she still didn't agree to it. Plus, right now was a mission, and she had just completed it. In fact, she decided to take a lot of missions at once. And now it was time to go explore.

            “But-- Don't you hate it here? I mean, you'll be back soon.”

[skiesabove]

—out; How does one rp roxas?

[ordostatua]

its like how you keep up with the charmings.

[wintercearigs]

          There was always a strange feeling that Namine had around Xion. She could never pinpoint what it was, but something felt… off. Amiss, perhaps? Generally, the blonde often pushed aside the emotion for the time being - not wanting her ill thoughts to form into words in front of the raven female.

                                                          “— Yes, Xion?”

[ordostatua]

         Sometimes she wondered what Namine did in a castle -- a castle that played with your memories. She's been in it once -- it wasn't exactly the best thing that she could've done, because she saw things she never wanted to see. Never wanted to know. And she began to wonder -- how could someone live there without getting hurt, or something. But that didn't matter to her sometimes, most of the time she just brushed it off.

                   And that was fine with her. As long as she could spend time with her, as a friend. Get to know someone -- she's never really had a friend that was a girl. The only thing was, she couldn't leave the castle, and Xion couldn't stand to be in it. That was the problem.

           “Um-- Would you like to come out on a mission with me?”

[wintercearigs]

          “…”

                                It’s quiet.

[ordostatua]

          Memories.

                   They were something you held onto, forever. But it made her wonder -- what about Namine? She hadn't known her for long, but she did know her well enough to talk to her. "Namine?"