everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.
This is genuinely one of the best descriptions of what it feels like to live with adhd.
I often think of it as if one half of my brain is a toddler who doesn’t want to do anything but play with whatever’s in front of them and doesn’t want to stop that to even eat or pee. I have to be very intentional about bribing or redirecting my Mental Toddler to do what we have to do, but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes they throw an absolute fit and refuse. And anyone who knows kids knows you have to take the time and work with them. You can drag them kicking and screaming, and yeah, sometimes you have to do that too. But very sparingly, because it’s miserable and traumatic for everyone involved.
But like op said, no one sees the toddler. They just see me sitting on the couch, staring at the wall or my phone.
